Silence, the Loudest Sound
by reincarnatedcrazybutterfly
Summary: Edward met Bella in Central Park during fall. Intrigued, he kept striking a conversation with Bella but Bella remained silent. It didn’t mean though that she wasn’t able to answer all of his questions. What Edward didn’t know is that Bella can’t speak.
1. Chapter 1: Bench Hunting

_Disclaimer: I own the plot, that's it_

_AN:I don't know if this has been done already but this idea just popped in my mind during a long drive home. If this has been done before then I want to have a go at it but if not, then, yay me. Enjoy the story. _

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**Summary:**

**Setting: New York. Autumn. All Human.**

**Edward met Bella in Central Park during fall. Intrigued, he kept striking a conversation with Bella but Bella remained silent but it didn't mean that she wasn't able to answer Edward's questions. What Edward didn't know is that Bella can't speak. Thinking that Bella was playing a game with him, willed by his fascination, he decided to try and break Bella's silence. Edward's POV.**

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**Chapter 1: Bench Hunting**

_Sigh._

I slumped from my piano bench and skimmed the ivory keys back and forth. I was running out of ideas, not to mention, _time._ I had to compose a piece for the winter recital, or it's goodbye career for me.

I sighed again and ran my hand on already messy hair and looked up at the ceiling. It's only been a month since I moved here in New York from Chicago. Time flies so fast.

Feeling the futility of my attempts today I drew the red velvet curtains and peeked outside my window. It was late afternoon and the sun was setting soon. Though it was fall for a while now, I still had an aversion to the season. I had a great view of Central Park though. Maybe I should go out for a walk…

Yeah, I need a break. So I changed from my sweatshirt into a grey turtleneck and black pants and a black sweater.

While I was enjoying my walk, my lack of sleep and nutrition from working on my piece finally caught up to me that I was looking for benches to rest on in no time. I need caffeine.

I could've just sat on the ground but for some reason, I had to sit on a bench. So I searched for one but couples occupied every seat nonetheless…

_Sigh._

Music has always been the only love of my life and I'm not kidding. It's not that I haven't the opportunity to get into relationships; it's just that things kept coming up…. And… I don't know, I guess I don't want relationships; I want _a _relationship, _the _relationship. One that would last. One that's real. That's why I'm twenty-one and still single.

Oh, there's an empty seat! I think the person is leaving as she's just getting her bag or something of that sort. When I approached the bench, I realized the woman wasn't retrieving her bag to leave but dropped something. I couldn't see her face as half of it got wrapped in her scarf and her long brown wavy hair covered it as well. I watched as she positioned herself bringing her knees up then place a small notebook… no, sketchpad on her lap then proceeded to sketch. I realized that I was just staring and standing there and I mentally slapped myself. How rude of me.

But the pull to sit down on a bench nagged at me again so before I proceeded towards the bench, I checked first if she had company. When I was sure she was alone, I moved closer and stood in front of her.

"Excuse me miss, but would it be alright if I sit beside you? I'm sorry for disturbing you." I asked politely. I was about to add more but was cut short when a pair of the loveliest eyes that were of the deepest browns look up at me with surprise and curiosity. She blinked then lowered her scarf to reveal the most luscious lips I have ever seen. Recovering from her surprise, a beautiful shade of crimson painted her cheeks, and then she lowered her gaze shyly then smiled warmly then nodded at me.

I was so captured by her smile that I forgot to breathe. It was only when she blinked in confusion then patted the space beside her that I was brought back to reality.

I blinked then inhaled sharply and I felt my cheeks heat up, this was embarrassing!

"Oh! I'm sorry, I got… momentarily distracted, thank you, though."

She smiled and nodded politely at me but I saw the corner of her lips play, stifling a giggle then she continued sketching.

I sat down beside her, looking the opposite direction from her as I close my eyes, cringe and chastise myself for my behavior.

Edward, you're such an idiot! How can you lose your composure just like that? Maybe because of your beautiful seatmate…

_Ugh. _I sighed but my eyes remained closed as I took in the crisp chilly air. All I could hear was the remaining leaves rustling then falling and the sketching beside me.

Then, another urge crept.

_No! Edward! It's rude to stare! _

But I wanted another peek at her. So against my better judgment, I glanced discreetly at me seatmate.

And again I was breathless. Even bundled up, she was the most breathtaking creature I have ever seen now that I can see her up close. She had creamy ivory skin that contrasted beautifully with her dark brown locks but most of all, it contrasted well with her eyes that were the color of deep chocolate, so deep that I could drown in those pools. She was very focused on her sketch that I couldn't help but stare at her slightly open mouth… those beautiful lips… so pink… full… set in that heart shaped face of hers…

I have never been compelled to kiss anyone as bad as I wanted to now.

_Ah! What am I thinking? She doesn't know you! You don't even know her name! _Goodness, I never felt like this before. She looked so fragile that I wanted to take her into my arms, carry her and take care of her…

_I'm losing it. _I shook away my thoughts. This wasn't like me.

She just looks so… _fascinating_…

She must've felt that I was watching her that she looked at me with a puzzled look in that cute face of hers.

As reflex I laughed nervously then ran a hand on my hair. I must've confused her even more that she blinked thrice.

I wanted to run and escape from this but at the same time I didn't want to leave her. So I went in for the kill. And if I fail, I pray the earth swallow me whole.

"I'm sorry for staring but I was just… fascinated by your seriousness…" _What was that? Ugh. Shoot me now!_

Her face relaxed into a smile of understanding. I sighed in relief.

The rational side of me told me to take that and stay silent but my nervousness brought out the babbling. "Does it bother you that I'm here? I could go now if you want." I asked anxiously. Truth is, I didn't want to leave.

She closed her eyes, smiled and shook her head as if saying, it's okay, I don't mind. Wow, she was very nice.

She went back to sketching and silence enveloped as again. I didn't realize that I was watching her intently now. She did though because she stopped, then looked at me.

I just looked at her, frozen. I have no words.

She smiled then offered her sketchpad at me. I was shocked. She must've thought I was prying at her work. My gentlemanliness is officially down the drain.

I shook my head slowly and raised my palm to decline but she sighed and offered it once more.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I didn't mean to pry…"

She rolled her eyes and smirked. She gave me a look that said, _C'mon, I know you want to. _

I smiled at her and took the sketchpad from her and she watched me intently.

I looked at the sketch. It wasn't finished but it was beautiful. She was sketching the bench opposite us that were occupied with a couple only she didn't draw the couple.

I looked at her and was captured by her eyes again. Trying to keep my control I smiled at her and complimented her work.

"It's beautiful. You're good. Thank you for letting me see it"

She blushed and my heart melted. She was beautiful. Red was starting to become my favorite color.

I handed her back her sketchpad. She continued sketching once again.

I never liked silence. I would always be surrounded with music but for some reason, the silence here was comforting. A welcome break from the norm.

I noticed that she hasn't said a word to me. There was something about her silence that kept a secret. Her silence added more to her mystery. If only I knew her name.

_Then why don't you ask? _

I was then reminded of another thing I regret forgetting. I forgot to introduce myself. _Lovely. _

"I'm sorry, I was being rude. I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen." I offered my hand. She shook it and smiled but I swear I caught a tinge of emotion in her eyes.

She looked down.

Silence again. Did I do it wrong? She was supposed to say her name… I looked at her apprehensively…. waiting… she blushed and just kept looking down…the corners of her lips turning downward.

I made her frown. Great. Of course she won't tell her name, I sound like a perverted stranger who bothered her peace.

I should just go. I stood up sighed.

I was about to walk away when I felt a tug on my sleeve. She looked at me like she was asking, _where are you going?_

I forced a smile, "I'm being a bother so I'll leave you to your work..."

She blushed then shook her head.

I raised my eyebrows in confusion, "No? I assumed when you didn't tell me your name that –

I was cut short by the tune of Claire de Lune.

Embarrassed, she blushed and took out her phone and told me using her index finger to give her a minute. I smiled and nodded.

She faced her back on me and answered the call. To be polite, I averted my gaze. I didn't hear her say anything. I guess she just listened. Then I heard a click.

She faced me and looked apologetically then stood up. She needed to be somewhere I guess.

"Do you need to go?" I asked politely and smiled.

She sighed and nodded.

"You should go then. Thanks for sharing your seat with me."

She smiled at that and blushed again. Then she nodded and started to walk. I watched her go.

She was only three steps away when she paused then looked back at me.

Her lips formed and 'o', which she covered with her palm. Then she walked up to me and my heart beat rapidly and my palms became sweaty. Good grief!

She stood in front of me, and then looked at her feet shyly. I just watched her. I didn't know what to do.

She then looked up, blushed, smiled then bit her lip (which made me smile like an idiot) then placed something in my hand.

I was too surprised to comprehend what just happened that I just stood there frozen as she skipped away, and then threw a smile and a wave good-bye at me.

She was so beautiful, I thought I was only dreaming. But then I snapped back when I saw her green scarf fly towards my direction. I picked it up and was about to run to give it back when I glanced up, she was gone.

Then I remembered that she placed something in my hand. I opened my palm and saw a crumpled piece of paper, probably from her sketchpad.

I smoothed it out and smiled. There was something written on it.

Looking at her scarf then at the direction that she left, I grinned.

On the note, was written:

_It's Bella. _

Bella… Italian for beautiful… a name so fitting…

I was starting to like fall.

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**AN: So what do you think? Should I continue? Let me know. 5 Reviews mean yes. ;**


	2. Chapter 2: Definitely Something

**AN: Wow, I asked for five and got thirteen reviews! Not too mention, over a hundred hits! So I must've done something right. Thank you for liking my idea, I'm very excited about this story that the events to follow has been playing in my head over and over it's getting hard to capture all of them and write! Anyway, here's the next chapter. ;)**

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_Looking at her scarf then at the direction that she left, I grinned._

_On the note, was written:_

_It's Bella. _

_Bella… Italian for beautiful… a name so fitting…_

_I was starting to like fall._

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**Chapter 2: Definitely Something**

I went back to my apartment with the biggest smile on my face. I sat down on my couch and looked at the two items I was holding, a tiny note and a scarf… _her note and her scarf…_a smile crept up again. _Bella's note… and Bella's scarf… _

I examined the scarf, checking if there was a name written here or not. I was hoping that there was something like "Property of Bella insert last name" so that I had a chance of finding her. I wanted to see her again, and by telling me her name at the end…well, I must've done something right.

I stared at the green scarf in front of me and without thinking, I brought the article to my nose and inhaled and my senses got treated to a whiff of a floral bouquet, of something I couldn't put my finger on, but the fragrance was so lovely… so addicting… so full of mystery… just like her…

Freesias! And, lily of the valley and… wow, a hint of vanilla. I smiled. I wonder what it would feel like to hold her and inhale these scents from her…

Then I slapped my forehead, shaking my head from these thoughts. I was sounding more and more like a psycho by the minute.

I looked up at the ceiling and sighed deeply. I couldn't help it. It's like she drew me to her and is drawing me still. She was so fascinating…

After what seemed like minutes of brooding and chastising, my doorbell rang and there was an impatient rapping at my door. I rolled my eyes, this could only mean one thing…

"Edward? I know you're in there. It's freezing out here even in your hallway! You wouldn't let your sister freeze to death now, would you? Eeedwaard…"

I walked over to the door and opened it and was greeted by a tight hug from my tiny spiky haired baby sister.

I hugged her back. "Hi, Alice. Haven't seen you in a while."

She laughed then pulled out of the hug and gave my chest a smack. Ouch.

"Hello to you too. What was that for?"

She sighed then frowned, "That's for not getting the door faster. I was there knocking for five minutes!"

Five minutes? My forehead wrinkled, but I just heard her knock… was she bluffing or had I really not noticed…

She folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. "Pretending you didn't know is _so _not helping you right now."

"Oh. I'm sorry Alice. I guess I was just… preoccupied. I'm sorry."

She looked at me like I grew three heads.

Irked, I cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"You're not going to fight me on this?" she asked in disbelief.

"Um…no. I'm sincerely sorry." I answered. I wasn't in the mood for banter.

Her eyes widened. "Wooow."

She then took off her coat and hung it in the rack as I closed the door.

She flopped on the recliner.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure of a visit?" I asked teasingly as I went into the kitchen to make hot cocoa.

"Oh, you know. Mom and dad practically begged me to see how you were and I _might _miss you too you know."

I chuckled. "Well, I'm fine and I am sorry that I haven't been calling as often but I'm stuck with my piece. I have zero inspiration… zip…noth- "

I didn't finish my sentence as a picture of Bella's smile popped in my mind and music started playing but my thoughts were cut when…

"OH!" Alice exclaimed. And I was jolted back.

"What is it?" I called out.

Then she giggled. Not a good sign.

"Why, Eddie, you never told me that… you had a girlfriend…"

Girlfriend? Now where did she get that idea? Unless… _damn it! _I completely forgot! Before I knew it I dashed to the living room but it was too late, Alice was already holding the scarf and reading the note.

I quickly snatched the note and the scarf from her and glowered.

She looked at me smugly and cocked an eyebrow. "Now I wouldn't say girlfriend, considering the note… so where did you meet, _Bella?"_

"It's none of your business." I said tightly.

"Edward, with a girl? It is so my business! This is news! Wait 'til I tell Esme! She'll flip! Or maybe I should tell Emmett as well ha-ha!"

I just glowered at her, then decided to close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

Studying my face, Alice looked at me funny.

"You're serious. I've never had this reaction about a girl with you Edward. You must like her."

I sighed.

"So what's the hold up?" she asked. "Did you ask her out? You like her, don't you?"

I looked at her. There was no escape from this now.

"I think I like her Alice it's just…"

"Just what?"

"This piece of paper and this scarf is the only thing I know about her."

She looked confused. "I'm lost. I think you should start at the top."

I sighed then relayed to her everything that happened. She listened patiently, a feat for my babbling sister.

When I was done she grinned at me.

"Wow, despite being creepy psycho, you still managed to get her name."

"Hey! I resent that!"

She laughed, "I was only joking. So she didn't speak at all, not once?"

I shook my head. "No. But… she still managed to answer me with but a look…" I smiled at that thought.

"You're smiling. This is definitely something. I can see it."

"But Alice, I want to see her again but I don't know how I can possibly find her with just her first name that I think is short for something and a scarf!" I sighed exasperatedly.

She smiled sympathetically then patted my arm.

"You have it bad, I can tell."

I rolled my eyes.

Then I saw her eyes sparkle, and her mouth turn up into a smile of knowing.

"What?" I asked nervously. And excitedly. She had a light bulb moment.

"How badly do you want to meet her?" she asked sneakily.

I looked at her square in the eye. "I want nothing more than to see her again."

"Good."

"Huh?"

"It's settled then."

"What's settled?"

She rose from her chair.

"Hey!"

She patted my arm and smiled.

"You'll see her again. I have a hunch you'll do," she told me. And no one ever doubted an Alice hunch. So I smiled at her.

"You really think so?"

She took her coat from the rack and put it on.

"I know so," she said confidently.

"I'll be in the neighborhood. I'm staying with a friend of mine, and go over a few deals with my clothes and do some shopping. Give me a ring, whenever."

Oh, this was a business trip and a leisure trip for Alice I guess. Her clothing designs were hot topic and there were a lot of offers for them.

I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Drop by anytime."

She kissed me cheek. "Thanks, I will. See you, bro. And call mom, she misses you! And I'm sure Dad and Emmett too. Emmett is taking a break from being a lawyer and just chilling at home."

"I'll keep that in mind. Take care."

"I will, love yah bro."

"Love you too, call me if you need me, okay Alice?"

She laughed. "Of course. See yah!"

Then she left and I closed the door.

"_I have a hunch you'll see her again."_

Alice's voice rang through my head for the rest of the evening. She doesn't know how much I wanted that to happen.

I saw Bella's smile on my head again and dashed to my piano.

I had inspiration now, definitely.

_Bella._

**AN: Will Edward see Bella again as Alice said? We'll see. So, should i still continue? Review and let me know. Can you help me reach 20 reviews, if it's ok? Thanks for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Something about Silence

**AN: Thanks for reading! I posted this up now because I don't know when I'll be able to update again.**

**Margaux**

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"I have a hunch you'll see her again."

_Alice's voice rang through my head for the rest of the evening. She doesn't know how much I wanted that to happen._

_I saw Bella's smile on my head again and dashed to my piano._

_I had inspiration now, definitely._

Bella.

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**Chapter 3: Something about Silence**

_Rrriiiinnngggg_

I sat upright with a jolt that I fell off my bed with a thud.

I rubbed my backside, damn that hurt. Talk about a morning start. I rubbed my eyes and dragged myself to my bed and lay down on my back for a while.

I grabbed my blaring alarm clock and checked the time, 11:00 am. I groaned. I only had thirty minutes before I meet with Angela. Angela is my musical consultant and the owner of the studio I record my compositions with. She's also a co-director of a well-known orchestra here. She always had the last say about your music.

I blinked and slapped my cheeks and jumped out of my bed and hopped for a bit to keep awake. I overslept again. I was about to bend and pick up the blanket that I accidentally pulled down with me when I saw a flash of green.

I smiled as I remembered what kept me up all night. I brought the green scarf to my face and inhaled Bella's floral scent. I walked over to my piano and admired my work. I placed my music sheets inside a black folder and into my bag then hummed the melody I composed as I took my clothes off and walked over to my bathroom.

I hummed her song… Bella's song…

I had a great feeling about this day.

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"What do you mean something's missing?" I asked perplexed about Angela's assessment after I played my composition.

She scrunched up her face and looked at me and shrugged.

"I don't know Edward, it's beautiful, really…"

"But?" I asked impatiently. This was Bella's song! How can it not pass her standards?

She sighed. "It's… too raw… the melody is wonderful, the timing's perfect, all in all, very well written but there's something lacking… I just can't quite put my finger on it. It needs something more. If you were to compare it from your previous work, it has more soul in it but how do I put it… okay, it has the soul but the body is lacking."

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. I put my all into it last night. I've heard of works that had no soul whatsoever, but having no body? That was new.

She looked at me apologetically and placed a hand on my arm.

"I'm sorry but I had to be honest with you. And I could tell you put a lot of work in here but I know if I push you some more, you can make this even more beautiful. You can do it. Work on it some more, it has promise."

I sighed again and managed a smile. "It's okay, Angela. I understand and I value your opinion. I'll work on it. I guess it made sense that it needs something more since I just wrote this last night." I chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Edward Anthony Cullen. You call me in the wee hours of the morning because you said you finished your piece. I thought, wow, he works fast, faster than ever! But I didn't think you would work _this _fast."

I chuckled again, "I'm sorry. I guess I was just excited."

She looked at me like I grew three heads - I was getting a lot of that lately.

"What's with you, Edward? I've never seen you like this before!"

I just smiled.

"Don't tell me, you're in love aren't you! Don't deny – the smile says it all!"

I chuckled. Angela was so perceptive as usual. Or was I really brooding and all doom and gloom with my lack of dating history? I cringed. Ugh. I was so pathetic.

"Oh my God! It's true!"

I had to change the subject now. "How's Ben?"

That stopped her and I smiled triumphantly.

She blushed and smiled. "He's okay, He actually asked me to…" she looked down and smiled shyly.

"Congratulations to you both. It's about time." Ben must've proposed and she of course said yes.

She looked up and smacked my arm playfully. "Why thank you, you big cheater." Then she looked at her watch. "I have to go. I have another talent to meet, but promise me you'll keep me updated."

I laughed. "I promise. I'll let you know if I'm done with the piece."

"The piece? Oh of course, update me on that too." She teased. Yikes, she meant the 'me dating' thing.

I shook my head, "See you, Angela."

Then she left. I followed soon after and when I went out the studio, my phone rang. It was Alice.

"Hey Alice."

"Hi bro!"

"Where are you? Do you want to have coffee with me?"

"Gee, you must be pretty lonely. Haha."

"Very funny, Alice. I just met with Angela about my piece."

"Oh? How'd it go? I'm preparing for a meeting as well by the way."

"Well… she told me I still needed to work on it."

"Huh. That's new. But she knows music. I'd listen to her. So anyway, the reason I called is that I did a little research on your lady love."

I almost dropped the phone if I didn't freeze at her words.

"Hello? Hello? Edward? Still there? Edward!"

"Oh! I'm sorry, really, you were saying?" I struggled to say in a casual manner as best as I could but I couldn't fight off the smile that was playing on my lips.

She giggled, "You're excited. Hmmm… maybe I should prolong your agony."

I groaned. "Alice." I said warningly.

"Okay, okay! Well, you know the scarf she left? Well, it's a Ralph Lauren original so I took a chance of going to the store and check if somehow I could see if she signed on the guest list…"

I was starting to get impatient and excited. "And?" I prompted her. I was usually patient but this was Bella…

"Oh, right, right. Well, sadly, she didn't. So I took another one in a million chance and asked the store manager if he recently sold a scarf lately. Bella's scarf seemed almost brand new… and so I described the scarf and the manager said that a tall, young blond man …

A man? My heart sunk at where this was going…

…bought it as a gift and signed on the logbook. The name read Jasper Hale." She said, a grin of triumph was evident in her tone.

"Oh." Was all I could muster. Alice noticed the disappointment in my voice.

"Oh, she said. I know. But he could be a brother or a cousin or something, you never know. Anyway, I thanked the owner knowing I probably can't get the man's number so I went to a phone booth and checked the book. There were a lot of Hales listed and I called them all and finally I got the right one."

Waiting for my reaction, she paused. "I'm still listening, go on." I started walking over to a coffee shop and went in and sat down on one of the comfy armchairs.

"The one who answered was a woman's voice, Rose was her name I think and she asked who I was so I said, just a friend. I could hear the skepticism on her voice but she said that he wasn't in at the moment but was at their neighbor's house, the Swan's, she said then she asked if I wanted to leave a message but I told her I'd call again.

She was about to say something else when I heard a door open and heard a man talking, I heard him say something like, 'Bella (at the mention of her name my heart skipped a beat, way to go Alice!) seems to be in a good mood today – oh sorry you're on the phone.' Then I heard this Rose person said, Actually it's for you, she says she's a friend then she talked to me and said, 'Jasper's here now, I'll pass you on now' I said, 'Thanks' then I heard her pass the phone and oh my gosh Edward, I heard the most beautiful deep masculine voice ever!"

"Alice get back to the story please." I interrupted.

"Oh right, sorry, well he said, "Hi! Jasper Hale, here, may I know who's calling?" I have to admit I panicked at that moment because I didn't think this through, I didn't know what to say to him but luckily I ran out of time and the line was cut. What a relief."

I cringed, "That was embarrassing Alice!"

"I know tell me about it! But, the important thing here is, we know Bella's last name! Her name is Bella Swan! I'm sure this isn't merely a handful of coincidence! I mean, the scarf, the number, and the name! Am I great or what?"

She didn't get it. She missed one important detail. "Alice…"

"What? What's wrong? Aren't you excited?"

"I am it's just… aren't you forgetting something…"

"What? What are you talking about?"

I sighed. "The man's name is Jasper Hale. Her name, which we aren't even sure if it's right, is Bella Swan."

"Huh? Oh. _Oh. _Urgh, they're not related…"

I sighed again.

"Hey, don't be sad! We're not sure if they are together. There is a 'Rose' in the picture you know."

"Which could very much be his sister."

"_Okay, _I guess that's possible but we don't know anything for sure. Come on, just go up there and give her the scarf back. I'll come with you."

"How do we explain how we got the number, hmm?"

"Leave that to me. Come _on, _Edward, what do you say? Okay, if hypothetically, _if, _though I have a feeling this is false, if they are together, you're just giving back her scarf right? At least we're clearing some 'what if's' it's better than nothing right? Just think of the possibility that even if it feels like it's slim that they're both single and we'll all be happy. Hehe."

"Alice…"

"Oh come on! What's with the negativities? It couldn't hurt…" actually, it _could _hurt. If they were together, I'll be crushed. But the thought that I could see her again…

"Okay, okay! I'll do it." _I'll take the risk. _

"Really? Yes! Let's go now! I'm so excited!"

"Now?" I started getting nervous.

"Yeah? Why not? Better to find out as soon as possible."

"Don't you have a meeting?"

"I'll cancel, this is more important! I'm guessing you're in that coffee shop near the studio right? I'm getting a cab and heading straight there."

"Wait, Alice – "

"Running out of minutes, see you soon, Bye!"

"Alice wait – " click.

I flipped my phone and put it back in my pocket. The prospect of meeting Bella… wow, I couldn't believe it! I wanted to see her so bad… see her smile again… but the thought that she was taken already… I cringed….

I chuckled without humor, only one way to find out I guess.

I walked over to the counter and the barrister, a pretty blond girl smiled at me and greeted, "Good afternoon, sir. What can I get you?"

I smiled back, "I'll have an espresso to go please."

"Coming right up."

Coffee was probably a bad idea for my nerves but I had to keep awake… I was up all night after all. Alice would be here soon. Oh my God, we're really doing this?

….

* * *

"That's the address. Jasper Hale's and the house next to it is Bella Swan's. You nervous?"

I didn't look at her. I just clutched on the wheel of my silver Volvo. My heart beating rapidly.

"Edward? You can do this. Come on, get the scarf." She got out of the car and opened my door and tugged at me. I just sat frozen.

"Come on, Edward."

"Alice, I don't think this is such a good idea…" I pleaded with my eyes to leave.

She rolled hers, "We're _this_ close, don't chicken out now! I mean, what would _Emmett_ say?"

Usually, the "Emmett card" would work any normal day, as I hate being embarrassed by my big burly brother but this wasn't any other day, it was _the _day.

She sighed. "Fine." She grabbed the scarf then started walking briskly at Bella Swan's front door.

She was only a few steps from ringing the doorbell when I bolted over to her and grabbed her by the jacket.

"What?"

"Alice, let's just go, please…" I begged.

She shook her head, "No dice."

Then she did the unthinkable. She somehow quickly maneuvered away from my hold, skipped towards the door and rang the bell I just looked at her horrifically.

Then she pranced in front of me and smiled smugly as she placed the scarf on my shoulder and gave me a push.

I glared at her and took the scarf.

"Ooh, someone's coming."

Then the door opened and in front of us was a tall muscular but not that burly man with fair skin like me and Alice and had blond hair that was messy and he was looking at us with piercing grey eyes. What was unnerving was that he was only wearing a large green shirt and boxers.

I didn't know why but rage was creeping.

Eyeing us, he spoke politely, "Hello. Can I help you?"

"I…" I couldn't say anything or do anything but I kept my eyes on him.

He cocked an eyebrow puzzled then smiled a little when he saw Alice – oh Alice was here, I glanced at her, oh my goodness, is she blushing?

He asked again, "Um, can I ask why you're here? And who are you?"

Alice gained her composure and smiled at him.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen and this is my brother Edward. We came to see… if Bella Swan was here?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh. I didn't know Bella was expecting company." Then he smiled warmly at us. "Hi, I'm Jasper Hale, I'm Bella's neighbor." Then he blushed. "I'm sorry if I look… indecent but I kind of crashed here last night, escaping my dad's wrath… but anyway, I'll go get her."

He _crashed _here last night? I was starting to hate this guy even more. He looked at me and smiled. Alice nudged at me so I smiled back at him politely.

"Thanks." Alice said sweetly. _Jasper _smiled widely at her.

He was about to turn around when I heard footsteps coming up and below _Jasper's _elbow, was her, peeking at us surprised.

I blushed when I saw what she was wearing but my blood boiled even more. She was wearing an oversized college sweat shirt that I shuddered to think that it was _Jasper's _and very short, shorts. But she was so beautiful.

She tugged at Jasper and gave him a questioning look.

Jasper shrugged, "I don't know. They're here for you."

Bella's forehead creased and she looked genuinely surprised.

Jasper looked puzzled now, "Don't you know them? They were looking for you, this is Alice and Edward Cullen…"

Bella jumped back a little on the mention of my name. Was it from recognition?

She ducked behind Jasper's elbow, brushed her hair, and smiled at me.

I looked at her but remembering what she was wearing, I ducked down. But I discreetly looked at her.

She looked confused again, then she looked at herself, then made an "Oh" with her mouth and blushed crimson then she tugged at Jasper's sleeve and made a motion of her clothes.

Jasper looked confused as ever. Then he said, "Oh!" then he blushed.

"Oh! I'm sorry," he laughed, "This isn't what you think! Bella would like to apologize for being… as decent looking as I am, as she overslept again doing her stuff. We're not… eww, I can't even think that! Ha-ha. Well, being the best friend that she is, Bella let me crash on her couch to escape punishment from going home late."

I lit up at once. _Best friend_? So they weren't involved! Yes! I felt hope fill my system.

Bella smiled at me.

"So what brings you here anyway, I take it Bella knows you." Jasper said to me.

"Oh, oh right. Well, I met Bella yesterday at the park and she left her scarf so…here it is." I handed Bella her scarf. She smiled widely and her face lit up as she smacked her forehead.

She giggled soundlessly, or at least that's what it looked like then she took the scarf blushingly. She took my hand as well and squeezed it, thanking me wordlessly. So she was still being silent.

Jasper shook her head disapprovingly at Bella and frowned at her. Bella pouted apologetically at him. "Bella, that's the scarf I just got you and already you lost it."

Bella took Jasper's hand with her free hand and looked at him sincerely sorry. Jasper sighed, "Ah, okay, okay. Enough with the Bambi eyes. I forgive you." Then he looked at me and frowned when he saw my hand still in Bella's.

Bella seemed to follow his gaze because she blushed and let go of my hand quickly and I felt a loss in my body.

"So how'd you find us anyway?" Jasper asked suspiciously.

I eyed Alice.

"You see, er, I can explain." She said panicking.

I rolled my eyes. Oh, Alice.

Bella tugged at Jasper again. Jasper nodded at her.

"Why don't we all come inside? It's freezing out here and we'll geo fix you guys something warm and dress into something more decent."

Bella tapped Jasper and raised an eyebrow but her lips were quivering.

Jasper smacked his head. "Oh right. Duh. I live next door. Okay, I think my dad's not home yet so I'll go inside, maybe get Rose – my twin by the way and head back here quickly and hear this story of yours."

He messed up Bella's hair and kissed her forehead affectionately. "I'll be back," then he looked at me, "No funny stuff." Then he smiled at Alice. Alice smiled back. Figures.

So he ran to his house and Bella stepped inside and let us through.

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice, Edward's brother. It's nice to meet you." Alice said warmly. Bella grinned at her then motioned for us to follow her into her living room and she gestured for us to sit down on the sofa.

She gave us a "give-me-a-minute-look" which we both nodded at then she dashed upstairs, probably to her room.

"You're right Ed, she's silent as a ghost." Alice commented. "I wonder why…" she trailed off.

Then she smiled and clapped my back.

"Anytime you want to thank me. You know my digits." She said smugly. I chuckled.

"I think you have been thanked enough. I mean, _really,_ Alice, ogling the blond best friend?"

She sniffed but I could see her blush. "Yeah, well."

I chuckled. I have never been happier in my life today.

She laughed with me as well. Things were looking up.

I smiled as I heard her coming down the stairs.

So this was Bella…

_Bella Swan._

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**AN: If i reach 20 reviews I'll be encouraged to update sooner. It's not that hard right? If not, well, I'll update in two to three days. i have so much to do that if i'll squeeze this in my schedule if it's really worth the trouble. So what do you think guys? Is it worth it? :)**


	4. Chapter 4: The Look

**AN: WOW! I asked for 20 but instead I got twice the quota I gave! I love you guys, I've never had this many hits on just three chapters! It's insane! It beat my other fanfic, "Just Say" I mean, 600 plus hits in just two days?! You must really like this story! It's very humbling, I mean, really, THANKS!! I'm sorry for just updating, I woud've updated earlier but I had an appointment with my doctor. So, sorry and thanks again!**

**I also changed the title of the first chapter to "Bench Hunting" and I forgot to mention that this is an All Human fic. :)**

* * *

"_I think you've been thanked enough. I mean, really, Alice, ogling the blond best friend?"_

_She sniffed but I could see her blush. "Yeah, well."_

_I chuckled. I have never been happier in my life today._

_She laughed with me as well. Things were looking up._

_I smiled as I heard her coming down the stairs._

_So this was Bella… _

_Bella Swan._

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Look**

I smiled as I watched Bella go down the stairs and walk towards us. She looked amazing! She wore a simple crisp ivory polo shirt that was almost as white as her skin and black skinny jeans. She was understatedly elegant, even with her mahogany hair up in a messy ponytail… it wasn't sloppy messy… it was… in a word…_sexy._

She looked at me but quickly lowered her gaze shyly and I was drawn even more to the noticeable reddish tint on her cheeks again when she tucked a strand of her dark locks behind her ear. That sent me over the edge and in no time I was grinning like a love struck high school boy.

"Ahem."

I jerked back and air quickly filled my lungs. Dear God, I didn't know that I wasn't breathing!

Alice, the one who 'coughed' nudged me. I glared at her but it didn't last because I remembered that Bella was still walking towards us. I was about to stand up as she approached when she made a gesture that said, no it's ok, stay where you are. Of course, her wish, my command, so I stayed where I was.

I was too focused on her smile that I was unable to see the snag on the carpet because in a flash, I was holding her by the waist and as I looked at her, she was braced for the fall with her arms protecting her head.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I asked, truly concerned. Was she dizzy? Or tired?

I watched as she jerked at my question then she slowly moved her hands away from her face, placing them on my chest and arm for support. I almost dropped her from the sudden contact but then I smiled inwardly that she didn't pull away from my help.

She looked at me with her eyes wide in surprise and her mouth was slightly opened. I wondered why she was surprised? A girl as beautiful as her shouldn't be surprised that many are willing to catch her every time she falls. If she were mine, I'd catch her any day…

I asked her again, "Are you alright?" her cheeks flushed again then she nodded then I felt my cheeks heat up as well when I remembered our position.

I gently helped her on her feet. She smiled shyly at me, and then bit her lip. I knew she was embarrassed so I tried to make light of the situation.

I chuckled and reassured her, "You're lucky you're light as a feather that someone can easily catch you unlike me, when I fall, if anyone attempts to help me, well, that person is bound to be squished."

She smiled and cringed her nose then she broke into a grin. Then I heard the front door open and someone approached. It was Jasper.

"Bella," he looked amused. Bella looked at him innocently. Jasper shook his head dramatically then sighed, "You fell down again, didn't you – or – (he glanced at me then back to her) almost anyway by the looks of it." I was vaguely aware that her hands were still on my arm and chest and mine were still on her waist. She was too and we both blushed and put our arms to the sides. I heard Alice snickering.

Jasper folded his arms across his chest then cocked an eyebrow playfully, "Well?"

Bella cringed then placed a hand on her face, caught me, she seemed to say.

Jasper chuckled then looked at me apologetically but the smile never left his face, "You have to forgive my friend, she's very clumsy."

Bella punched his shoulder then placed her hands on her hips as she frowned at him.

"Ow! Hey, It's true." Jasper reiterated as he rubbed his arm. He shook his head again, "I can't leave you even for a minute alone without you tripping or knocking something off."

Bella sighed then rolled her eyes.

Jasper chuckled and Alice joined him. But I didn't. There was nothing funny with Bella getting hurt.

Bella blinked at me and wondered why I wasn't laughing with them. I shook my head at her and she seemed to appreciate my understanding as she gave me a smile. Then she sat beside Alice.

Alice smiled at her, "I'm sorry for laughing." Bella raised her hands to stop her then smiled at her.

Alice grinned then she turned her attention to Jasper. "You really care about Bella."

Jasper sat on the recliner opposite Alice. "Yup, she's my number one. Bella's the little sister I never had. But you know… we're still waiting for that story of yours."

I watched as Alice made up a story as close to the truth as possible but it hardly mattered, as Jasper seemed to buy it all. I stifled a laugh. I could tell they were into each other. Then I wrinkled my nose. I have to talk to her about that later.

Then I remembered that Bella was here. I looked at her and marveled once again. She was so mesmerizing to watch that this felt almost like a sport. I could stare at her all day and still couldn't fathom the mystery that was Bella Swan. She had so many facial expressions delivered expertly without the need to make any sound. She would occasionally nod then at times I would catch her scrunch her face, wrinkle her nose, tuck her hair behind her ear which I liked very much… she would also bite her lips then giggle soundlessly but best of all I loved it when she looked all serious and intense for a minute then slowly break into a smile the next. It drove me crazy to watch how she smiles.

She must've noticed my eyes on her that she looked at me questioningly. I just smiled at her. She smiled back but averted her gaze downward quickly, her cheeks turning crimson as she bit her lip, making my cheeks heat up as well. But I didn't look away… I couldn't.

She brought her eyes to meet mine again. Still wearing that lovely color on her face and held my green ones to her lovely brown ones.

Her gaze was so hypnotizing… that I don't even think I could blink at that moment. She captured me. There was something so different in the way she looked at you. It was as if she was asking you a lot of questions as well as answer every one of yours… it was as if she was _searching_… looking through you… looking through your _soul_…

She had me looking through her soul as well. Her eyes held patience… understanding… kindness… but I also saw taints of sadness in them. I frowned. A beautiful soul like hers, so angelic, so kind, should never have to feel such emotion. I was compelled to remove every trace of sadness in them and replace them with happiness that she deserved.

Her eyebrows met in confusion as her eyes shifted to my curved lips. She frowned as well but then, as if understanding me, she slowly smiled at me and brought her gaze back to my eyes and I couldn't help but smile back at her. My God, she was amazing! Here she was, noticing me troubled by her emotion and _reassured _me that she was fine all without saying a thing. I reminded myself that it was only today that I learned of her last name, that she was still a stranger to me but here we were, looking at each other as if we've known each other ever since. I didn't know how long we were staring at each other and frankly I didn't care. We were in our own world where everything was communicated with but a look, no words were needed.

We were so absorbed with each other in our silent conversation that I didn't realize that the room became quiet. It was only when we heard giggling and snickering in the background that we both blinked in surprise and looked at the source of the sounds that broke our silent exchange.

Alice and Jasper were trying to control their amusement. Oh great.

Alice took a deep breath to stop laughing, tried hard to regain her composure then looked at me with apology and amusement in her eyes. "Gee, I'm sorry, you two. We didn't mean to break your, um, _conversation. _We didn't mean to interrupt but you were staring at each other for God knows how long that we felt so left out. Sorry."

Jasper, clutching his sides, finally controlling himself, apologized as well, "I'm…(snicker), I'm sorry as well. I was about to bet on who would win in that staring contest of yours. And, Edward, buddy, you were almost as silent as Bella herself."

Bella sighed. Then grinned as she shook her head.

I chuckled. "It's okay. You guys were so into your conversation as well that Bella and I got bored."

They both shut up. Ha! We weren't the only one having _the _conversation.

Then Bella got up and started walking off. I stood up as well to follow her. I didn't know why I was so enamored to be by her side, that it almost hurt to be away from her. She raised her hands at me then jabbed the air with her thumb into some direction.

"Bella's just going to the kitchen to make something warm for us." Jasper explained.

I was about to offer help but Alice beat me to it.

"Oh! I'll go with you!" she said cheerily. Bella shook her head and smiled. But Alice was already on her feet and marching towards her.

I chuckled. "It's no use stopping her, Bella. She'll drag you there if she must."

Bella smiled widely, sighed then nodded. Alice kept babbling while walking with her.

And then, there were two.

"So Edward." Uh, oh. Here it comes.

I glanced up at Jasper. He was looking serious.

"Yes?"

"It's obvious, you like her. I can _feel _it." there was something in the way Jasper talked that made you want to tell him the truth always. There was something about his presence that was… soothing… yet testing all the same… testing the emotions in you.

I sighed then smiled at him.

He smiled smugly. That was answer enough for him.

"I'm going to say this to you because I think you're an okay guy that I feel that she likes you too."

My heart missed a beat.

He chuckled at my reaction but then his eyes became serious again.

"Listen, Bella is a really special person and I love her to pieces. I could tell that you're a nice guy Edward but I have to warn you, she's not that easy to… well, get. And she's… very fragile that I'm worried that she breaks easily, you know."

I looked him in the eye. "I would never hurt her or let anyone hurt her."

He smirked. "I guess I kind of know you wouldn't but… well, there are things about her that she keeps… mum about."

I chuckled a bit. "I can see that."

He chuckled as well. "I know Alice didn't exactly tell the whole truth a while ago."

I was suddenly alarmed but kept my cool. "Oh?"

Then he chuckled, "I know you had to go through a more difficult method of finding us and it's ok. You must really like her to make such a big effort."

"The credit goes to Alice. She was the one who did everything."

"Oh." Then he broke into a sly grin, "For Alice to make such trouble means the trouble was worth it… I mean she wouldn't go through all that trouble if she didn't know that you wouldn't appreciate the effort. For her to care about what you wanted and getting it only proves how much she wanted to see you happy."

I just laughed. He only met alike today and yet he was able to get her accurately.

"Can I just ask you one question, Jasper? Just so I could have peace of mind." I asked, reading his reaction.

He looked confused but then laughed heartily.

"Oh. I think I know what this is about. Ever since I saw you're face the moment I walked out the door." He shook his head sideways while laughing then looked at me fully amused. I kept my poker face. This was serious.

"You're serious. Okay, okay. I'll answer. You have _nothing _to be…_jealous_ of." He laughed.

I blinked. Whoa, he did feel my… envy a while ago.

"Really? I mean you guys seem awfully close. And it's obvious you dote on her."

"I care about her. I do." then he averted his gaze and blushed. "Somewhere along the line… I fell for her too." He looked at me seriously.

My heart sank. Jasper really seemed like a nice guy, even for… Bella. It was hard to believe that they weren't together… thought it stung to think that.

He sighed. "I even told her that but she only sees me as a friend… a brother."

"That doesn't bother you?" I asked incredulously.

He shook his head vigorously. "No, no! I realized that my love for her was nothing more than the love a brother could give to his sister."

When he said that, I couldn't doubt the sincerity in his words. He was telling the truth.

"Besides…" he trailed off. Then he blushed. "I wonder what's taking Alice…and Bella (he quickly added) so long?"

I chuckled. I was right. He digs Alice.

"Jasper, since we're on the brotherly page. You're a nice guy and all, but _Alice_ is my little sister, you know."

He laughed. "I knew you were going to say that _sometime."_

I laughed with him. "Since I know we're on the same page, there's really no need for me to say anything, right?"

He nodded, still laughing. Then the girls came back.

We chatted for a while, well, Bella listened then I did a stupid thing and asked Bella, "So what do you think, Bella?"

She frowned for a while and I regretted asking her. I just wanted to hear if her voice was as lovely as her. I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.

But she recovered quickly, smiled a little then shrugged. Then she got up and tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen and pointed to our empty plates. We were given slices of cakes a while ago. She was upset, I could tell.

But we let her go and she smiled at us as she walked over to the kitchen. I looked at Jasper, he frowned as well. He felt it too. Damn, I was a jerk.

Jasper stood up and excused himself. "I'll go help Bella." But I knew he wasn't referring to the cake. He was going to console her. I mentally kicked myself again.

Alice stood up as well. "Um, Jasper, I was wondering if I could use the bathroom?"

"Oh, of course. I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind. It's across the hall, near the kitchen. I'll show you the way if you want." He offered.

"No, it's okay. I'm sure I can find it."

He smiled and nodded then disappeared into the kitchen.

When he was out of sight, Alice looked at me. "I'm just going to the bathroom, will you be alright by yourself? I could wait until they get back."

I patted her hand, "no, I'll be fine, _mom. _Thanks though."

She smiled then left me alone in the living room brooding.

Five minutes have lapsed and no one came back yet. I wonder what was keeping them.

Bella came back first and smiled apologetically at me then she set down a tray that had a different cake than before on the coffee table.

Then Alice came next and walked hurriedly and sat beside me. She was troubled.

"What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh! It's nothing. I… had a phone call and there's some problem with the deal with Bloomingdales…" then she smiled. "But, I sorted it out." She laughed nervously. I didn't buy it. But I would let it go… for now.

Jasper came back holding a pot of coffee. He was smiling but something was up.

I was missing something. They _all _knew what it was.

Oh damn.

* * *

**Alice's POV**

Bella seemed upset. Everyone noticed. But I have a meeting tonight so I need to freshen up.

Where was the bathroom again? Oh this must be it. It _is _near the kitchen!

I was about to open the bathroom door when I heard Jasper talking to Bella.

I bit my lip, I knew it was rude to eavesdrop and Esme would get mad at me for behaving this way but I couldn't help myself, so I listened on. I would just confess or punish myself by not…ugh… shopping tomorrow.

I peeked at the kitchen and saw Jasper looking concerned at Bella. Bella had her arms folded across her chest, as if holding her own as her eyes were steady and serious.

"Bella, we have to tell them – especially him." Jasper said firmly.

Bella shook her head.

"They deserve to know." Jasper argued. Know what?

Bella closed her eyes and touched her index finger to her forehead.

"Bella, I know you like him but you'll both get hurt if you do the same thing like you did with the others." Others?

Bella looked at Jasper and took both his hands on her own and fixed her gaze on Jasper's eyes and without taking them off of his, she slowly shook her head no.

Jasper sighed. "Ok. You win. But can't say I didn't warn you."

Bella smiled at him gratefully then grabbed the tray and walked past me. Phew, she didn't see me.

I was about to rejoice when I felt someone behind me. _Uh oh._

"How long have you been listening?" Yikes! Caught me.

I turned around and laughed nervously, "W-what do you mean?"

He sighed then motioned for us to go to the kitchen. I had to follow.

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"No harm done." He shook it off.

A moment of silence.

Then he broke the silence.

"Alice, can you keep a secret?" he asked sincerely.

I nodded, "Yes. Of course."

He raised an eyebrow, testing me, "Even from your brother?"

I didn't answer…or rather, I couldn't.

"I'm sorry Alice for making you do this but you overheard too much I think that I'm going to ask you to please keep this a secret from your brother. Can you do that please?"

I sighed, then nodded.

He smiled a little. "Thank you, and I'm sorry."

I smiled back.

Then he proceeded to telling me everything. And when he was done, I felt deep sympathy for Bella…and for him. I felt their pain so deeply and understood their reasons that I agreed to keep this a secret from Edward. He would know eventually.

It was up to Bella.

She would decide when to tell him.

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**AN: I'll be out tomorrow for a long drive to pass some requirements for my nmat exam that can't wait. Damn, why'd they have to tell me now that the deadline was this week? Oh well. So I won't be able to update right away but I'll do my best to do so.**

**Until then, tell me your thoughts on this story. I would love to hear from you. A lot of people were asking for Bella's Pov and the answer is... well, originally, i thought of this story from Bella's POV but i realized that it'll give away the plot right away so i had to prolong it somehow so i'll be sticking to Edward's POV _for now _until the time is right for Bella to "speak up." (Figuratively or literally, that's still a secret. hehehe) ;p**

**So far only Alice and Jasper know Bella's secret. When would Edward will know? It's up to Bella.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! You made me so happy and now i know that this story is really worth continuing. :) It'll be cool thought if i reach 50 reviews. Not that hard, right? :) If not, it's okay. I'll still love you.**

**Margaux**


	5. Chapter 5: Limerence

_He smiled a little. "Thank you, and I'm sorry."_

_I smiled back._

_Then he proceeded to telling me everything. And when he was done, I felt deep sympathy for Bella…and for him. I felt their pain so deeply and understood their reasons that I agreed to keep this a secret from Edward. He would know eventually. _

_It was up to Bella._

_She would decide when to tell him._

* * *

**Chapter 5: Limerence**

**Edward**

"Would you like some more coffee, Edward?"

I broke away from my thoughts, smiled politely at Jasper and shook my head. "I'm good, thanks."

I looked at Bella, she was calm like before but there was something different in her eyes. I wanted so bad to read her mind. People would always tell me that I had the uncanny ability to somehow read people and usually I would agree. But looking at Bella… she's a mystery.

She looked at me and smiled.

"Hey Bells?"

Bella blinked at me then turned to face Jasper.

"It's almost five, don't you have a meeting?" Jasper asked her.

I watched as Bella gasped and cringed. Then she nodded. She looked at Alice and me apologetically then rose to be excused.

"Go ahead. Me and Alice should probably go as well. Alice has a dinner meeting too." I said and prepared to stand up.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jasper frown a bit and I think he muttered "dinner?" questioningly. I almost laughed. But decided to ease Jasper's mind. Man, he really digs Alice.

I faced Alice who was unnaturally deep in thought.

"Alice, so is it Bloomingdales or Macy's or Barney's tonight?" I asked. I saw Jasper brightened up a bit. There Jazz, it's a business meeting, not a date.

Alice perked up and grinned widely. "Still Bloomingdales." Then she blushed.

Bella smiled at her. I stood up so that we could leave and she could get ready but I almost fell over when I heard Alice jump up and squeal.

"Oh!"

Apparently, I wasn't the only one surprised as Bella jumped back a little, almost stumbling had I not caught her back. I smiled inwardly; she was clumsy as Jasper said.

Bella smiled appreciating at me then looked at Alice bewildered.

Jasper was suppressing a chuckle with his hand.

"Bella, do you mind if I help you get ready?" she asked Bella excitedly.

Bella looked at her politely then glanced at me, as if asking if this was a good idea.

I chuckled. Bella took that as a bad sign and she grew alarmed.

Alice caught that and scowled at me.

I shook my head and huffed. "No, it's okay Bella. Alice is really good only you have to stop her at times as she has a tendency to go overboard."

Alice tapped her foot impatiently and rolled her eyes. "Are you done? Seriously, Bella, Edward is just exaggerating. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sure you've asked Jasper's opinion on your clothes and I'm sure that he has a good eye…(she blushed) but a feminine touch is needed too you know."

Bella sighed, and then nodded. But was then attacked by Alice's tight hug as excitement took over my spunky sister. Embarrassed to death by my sister's action I was relieved when Bella broke into a grin as she saw Alice's beam. Alice had that effect on people.

Then they went up Bella's room and I was with Jasper again.

I looked at him and he seemed to be smiling at Alice's gesture. Then he looked at me and I could tell that he felt that I knew something was up.

I could see that he was testing my feelings again. Testing to see how he would approach but I decided to clear the air from the tension.

I looked him square in the eye. "Jasper."

"Yeah?"

"I know that something is up." I said calmly and he was doing his best to keep his cool façade. Then he opened his mouth as if to say something but I cut him off.

"Has Bella always been…this quiet?" I asked cautiously.

He sighed. Then looked at me warningly. "You could say that. But what's it to you?" I knew he didn't mean to, or imply asking whether it bothered me or not that Bella's silent but I couldn't blame him. She was family to him.

"Don't get me wrong Jasper. But Bella's silence… it doesn't really matter." I said with a smile.

He looked surprised but his eyes still looked at me cautiously. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"I know it seems… unnatural… but whether Bella's silence is intentional or not, it doesn't really matter. I am curious about why but her reasons… it doesn't matter. If you feel that I need to know why or not, it's okay. You don't have to tell me anything Jasper. I would rather… hear it from Bella."

He brought down own of his eyebrow but kept one up then folded his arms as he chuckled.

"That's quite a feat there on it's own." He said.

I sighed. "I know. If she decides to tell me or not, it's really fine with me. If she does, it would always be at her pace – her terms. I really like Bella, I'm drawn to her. There's something about her silence that's comforting. To another person it might seem… unnatural for someone to _not _speak but to me… all I could see is her and the way she looks at me, the way she smiles, the way she tells you things just by looking at you…"

"I want to know her more."

There, I said everything. I waited for Jasper's response. I could see his demeanor relax and I could also see that there was understanding from him.

Then he sighed. "You really got it bad, don't you?"

"So bad, they'd kick me out of hell right now for fear that I might dethrone the prince of darkness." I chuckled.

He guffawed then shook his head. "Okay, okay. But Edward, I don't think you're this kind of guy but I have to let it out off my chest, just to clear the air."

"Go on."

He looked at me seriously as his mouth became a thin line. "You're not compelled to figure out Bella just because she's _just _another challenge, are you? Not a conquest to add to your…list? Because if that's the case, I'm stopping you right there."

I looked at him with horror and disgust. "No! The thought never crossed my mind! If she is a challenge, she is one that's worth working hard for because it's what she deserves, and that is to be doted on, worshipped, pleased, adored, fawned and loved. Not because she presented such a big challenge that whoever figures her out gets to reap the benefits to boost the ego and swell with pride and get bragging rights too."

"And besides…"

I dropped my head and blushed.

"Besides?" He prompted.

I sighed. "There's not even a list to compare it too." I mumbled inaudibly.

"Huh? Sorry?" he asked but I knew he heard me.

I sighed.

He chuckled. "Okay, okay. Anyway, you're getting your wish even if you didn't tell me that I don't need to say anything to you because she made me promise not to tell you… her reasons. She'll tell you when she's ready or… when you're ready." He added slyly.

I smiled. He gave me a hint. "Really?"

He shook his head and pretended to seal his mouth as if it were a zipper.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I heard Jasper stand up and I looked at him surprised.

He jerked his head. "The girls are done."

I stood up and my eyes bulged as I saw them go down the stairs.

Alice did a good job… a _remarkable _job.

Bella was wearing a gray knit dress that hugged her curves perfectly. She was also wearing charcoal colored leggings and… sexy designer boots over them. Her hair was up in an elegant bun that I marveled at the sight of her long sultry neck then my eyes moved up at her red full lips then settled on her startling deep brown eyes that were emphasized with dark eye shadow… in her dark clothes her alabaster skin looked even more lustrous than ever. But there was something missing.

I smiled at her crookedly and she blushed. Oh. I knew something was missing but it's complete now. I love her blush.

Then Alice appeared in front of me from nowhere.

"So? So? Am I good or what?" Alice asked excitedly. "She's gorgeous right? Well, say something?" she demanded.

I walked over to Bella, took her hand and kissed it, which surprised her. Then I slowly looked into her eyes, smiled and said. "You look beautiful." She smiled, looked down shyly and blushed.

I could feel Jasper's eye on me so I let go of Bella's hand quickly.

Then Jasper smiled at Bella. "Edward's right. You look great, Bells."

Bella smiled at him.

Then Jasper gave Alice a big grin to which Alice flushed. "Thanks Alice. You did a wonderful job on Bella."

Alice giggled, "What can I say, it's a gift."

I chuckled then looked back at Bella. I knew we had to go now but I didn't want to leave her… ever.

She looked at me and smiled shyly.

I smiled back. How could I not? But since she was running late already, I guess we had to go I thought glumly. But there's always tomorrow…

"So, I think me and Alice should go. We wouldn't want to keep you." I said. Her face fell a bit. Was she sad that we're leaving? My heart started to beat rapidly.

I saw Jasper and Alice frown as well. No one wanted to cut this meeting short. But then Jasper sighed.

"We should probably go too, Bella. I have to go fetch Rosalie after I drop you off." Jasper said, grabbing her coat and his jacket from the rack.

Bella nodded at him.

I took my jacket as well and was about to get Alice's but Jasper already had it and helped her put it on after he did the same for Bella. This guy was quick, I have to hand it to him.

Then they showed us to the door.

I shook Jasper's hand as well as Bella's. "It was nice meeting you both."

Jasper and Bella shook Alice's hand as well. "It was our pleasure. Come by anytime." He said and Bella nodded.

Alice laughed. "We'll do that." I laughed with her.

Jasper smiled at Alice then looked past her shoulder.

"Is that your car?" he asked Alice.

"No, that's Edward's. Mine's still in Chicago."

Bella tapped Jasper and raised her eyebrows. And Jasper slapped his head and nodded.

"Oh! Wait here and I'll go get you guys the rest of the cake to take home."

"No, it's okay, really!" I said.

"Yes, you don't need too." Alice added.

Bella shook her head. Jasper already disappeared into the house.

"Wait, Jasper!" Alice went in after him.

So it was Bella and I alone now, finally.

I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Finally, some alone time." I said to her.

She smirked.

"Bella, I know you're hiding something from me."

Her eyes grew wide with shock.

I stepped closer to her, she took a step back.

"But it's okay. You don't have to say anything to me that you're not comfortable doing so." I reassured her. She looked at me with confusion in her eyes.

"I don't know why you're silent but… it doesn't matter. I…like you Bella Swan."

She looked at me sadly but I saw that the corner of her mouth was playing and she was blushing.

Then I moved my face closer to her, she didn't budge.

As I moved closer, I didn't break my eye contact with hers. We were so close that our noses were almost touching. My heart was racing and my breathing picked up and as I felt her sweet breath on me, I knew she was breathing fast as well.

With my lips a whisper away from her lovely full ones, my own longed to just close the gap already and capture those luscious lips with mine.

If it was from instinct or impulse, I didn't know but my hands were suddenly on her shoulder moving up to her neck only to stop there. I stopped because a jolt of electricity shot through me from the contact. She shivered from my touch but she didn't flinch nor move away. So I continued to move my hand to cup her face. Her skin was so soft and smooth and she smelled so damn good.

_Limerence_. The word popped in my mind. Limerence is an involuntary and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person…

A word that could not have been more appropriate for what I'm feeling right now.

We were leaning into each other that it was only a matter of time… I searched her eyes and found them searching through mine again then she closed hers as I moved closer. She was letting me in. I would've gladly obliged as I wanted nothing more but to kiss her already but we just met and it was wrong to take advantage of her.

I wanted it to be perfect for her. This moment wasn't good enough for her. I wasn't good enough for her. I had to prove myself to her first. I had to show her what she's worth. So I did the right thing.

I closed my eyes and leaned in.

But I didn't kiss her.

I moved my mouth to her ear and whispered,

"Bella Swan, you are the most fascinating creation in the world and I'm completely enamored by you. And…I will make you speak to me in your own words, in your own way, in your own time and I'll be here for you as long as you want me to."

I pulled away and watched her face. There were so many emotions in her eyes. There was shock, there was sadness but there was also… relief.

I smiled at her. Then like clockwork, Jasper and Alice came out. Perfect timing guys.

Jasper eyed Bella. Then me and shot me a "What happened?" look.

I just smiled at him. Alice eyed us speculative as well. Damn, everyone's a snoop.

"So, we're going now. Bye Jasper."

"Yeah, see you Edward." He nodded then he bent down to whisper something to Alice, which made her beam and my eyes roll.

But then I looked at Bella and she looked at me funny.

I smiled widely at her. "Good-bye, and I'll see you soon, I hope. Good-bye for now…Isabella Marie Swan."

Shock spread on her face as I said her full name. She knew that Jasper didn't tell me her full name but while they left me alone a while ago…I grinned.

Then she broke into a grin and waved goodbye.

I walked towards my car and Alice skipped, yes, skipped after me as soon as she hugged Bella goodbye and said another long goodbye to Jasper.

I started the car and Alice hopped inside. Jasper and Bella waved at us.

I didn't want to look away from Bella but I had to now. There would still be tomorrow. I smiled. I was about to drive when Alice spoke up.

"Wait!"

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "What is it, Alice? Not another 'goodbye blond best friend' round is it? Please tell me it's not –

"Shut up Edward, you should talk, anyway –

"What do you mean 'I should talk' why –

She rolled her eyes and huffed indignantly, "Just turn around, Edward."

I stared at her then sighed. I turned around and almost had a heart attack!

Bella was standing outside my car and tapping my window lightly.

I gave one quick glare at Alice who was suddenly looking out her window innocently. Then rolled my window down and smiled at Bella.

"Hey you." I said and I swear I heard Alice snort. I ignored her.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

Bella looked down shyly and bit her lip. Damn, enough with the biting thing, desire burned in me again.

Then she looked at me in the eye seriously and I was captured in a trance again.

"Bella, we have to go now. Hurry up!" Jasper yelled from his car.

Bella glared at his direction. She looked cute even when infuriated. Then she looked at me again.

"I think Jasper's not pleased you should go now, this could wait til –

I was cut short and filled with another shock worthy of another cardiac arrest.

In one swift motion, she leaned into my window, kissed my cheek then ran away, throwing a shy blushing grin my way until I heard a car door close.

I just sat there shocked.

Did that just happen?

Did she just?

I touched my cheek in the place that her lips were placed for a second and felt all… _tingly_… that I couldn't help but break into a sloppy smile.

With that one gesture…that was it.

_She had me._

I was hers.

"My, my, so who had the longest goodbye, brother dearest?"

_Crap._

I glared at Alice and she burst into a fit of giggles.

"You really know how to ruin a moment."

That only made her laughs louder.

"My God, how can something so tiny be so annoying?" I muttered.

"I'm sorry Edward. Really, I am. I just never saw you like this." She said apologetically.

"Why, I'm glad you find my predicament amusing. Please, don't hold back in entertaining yourself at my expense." I said sarcastically.

"Hey, do I need to remind you _who _brought you to this _predicament _of yours? Hmmm?" she said smugly.

"Okay, okay. You're a genius. You're the greatest, sneakiest, most talented, snoopiest sister a brother could ever have." I said.

"That's better, now drive."

I smiled. Bella just kissed me!

Yes. There would _definitely _be a tomorrow.

"Limerence." I jerked back. I heard Alice mutter the word. She shrugged then I chuckled inwardly.

Ah, Limerence.

* * *

**Jasper**

I smiled at what Bella did. I'm happy that she's happy but I am worried. I just hope that all goes well with Edward. Or else…

I sighed.

Then I opened Bella's door and she got in, breathless, her face all read and a big smile plastered on her face.

I chuckled and she looked at me all giddy.

Then I looked at her seriously.

"Bella, are you sure about this?" I asked her cautiously.

Her smile faltered a bit. She lowered her head and shook it slowly.

I sighed then took her hand.

I decided to change the atmosphere.

"But you like him. I can tell."

Though she still looked down, her blush and her smile gave her away.

:"Just be careful, Bella." I said to her. I really hope that her blooming relationship would work.

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry for just updating. I had a problem with the internet connection. Sorry. Thanks for your reviews! I'll try to update tomorrow as soon as I finish writing some articles for our college newsletter. Until then, please tell me your thoughts. I write faster when I get feedback. ;p**

**Margaux**


	6. Chapter 6: Casual Encounter

"_Bella, are you sure about this?" I asked her cautiously._

_Her smile faltered a bit. She lowered her head and shook it slowly._

_I sighed then took her hand._

_I decided to change the atmosphere._

"_But you like him. I can tell."_

_Though she still looked down, her blush and her smile gave her away._

_:"Just be careful, Bella." I said to her. I really hope that her blooming relationship would work._

* * *

**Chapter 6: A Casual Encounter**

**Edward**

"Hey Edward."

I blinked and glanced at Alice. I was going to drop her off her friend's apartment.

"Yes Alice?"

"Well, I was just wondering what your plans are…" she trailed off suggestively.

I thought for a while. Oh wow, I had no idea.

I heard her snicker, "Yeah, I thought so."

I sighed then glanced at her again. "Okay, you're right. I have not thought this through. And by the looks of it, I think you have an idea."

Her eyes had that dangerous excited glint in them again.

"Why, yes. Yes, I do." she said smugly.

I smirked, "Then, what, pray tell is going on in that evil mind of yours, sister dear?"

She laughed, "We sound like Kathryn and Sebastian, the way we're talking right now!"

I laughed with her but grimaced as a thought occurred to me and she caught that and groaned.

"Eww, not like that you goof." Alice said.

I chuckled. "I was just kidding. Anyway, you were saying?"

Her eyes lit up, "Oh yeah. Well, you wouldn't want to move that fast right?"

I blinked. Fast? But we almost kissed already! And I already told her that I like her.

From the corner of my eye I could see her eyeing me suspiciously.

"Please tell me you're considering taking it slow, I mean, yeah, the glory of first love and all, yay you but I think it's better to take it slow." Alice explained.

"I know you Edward, if anything, you won't waste time and shower her with grandiose gestures and gifts what with our affluence but you should seriously downplay it. Let it grow," she added.

"What's wrong with bold gestures or showering her with everything she deserves?" I asked. I honestly don't get it.

She sighed. "You have to give her time to trust you. You don't want to scare her off. You just met her and she hasn't said a word to you yet."

"So what are you suggesting that I do?"

"Okay, let's see. If you were to take her out right now, where would you take her for dinner?"

I thought for a while. "I'd take her to the finest French restaurant in the city, order the finest wine… possibly play the piano for her… but I'll give her a bouquet of red roses before the date, well actually, send her one along with an invitation first, then give her another when I pick her up… then I'd have the maitre 'd have one for our table…hire a string quartet to serenade us as we dine…hmmm… maybe I should rent out the whole place for the night…"

I was imagining wistfully the perfect date planned for Bella but I stopped as Alice looked at me disapprovingly.

"What?" I barked. "Is it too much? Hmmm… I was even wondering if I could just wait for her in the restaurant while having a limo pick her up to add to an element of surprise…_what Alice?"_

She shook her head and sighed.

"That's all romantic Edward. It really is but Edward, _for a first date? _The date your describing sounds like you're proposing marriage already! It's too much!"

"Proposal? If I were to propose it would be much grander than that!" I said while looking at Alice preposterously.

"Why am I not surprised…" Alice muttered. Then she looked at me, "Okay, I'll go along with your quote first unquote date if you can answer me this."

"Okay, fire away." I challenged.

She looked smugly at me and asked, "What is Bella's favorite color?"

I looked at her incredulously. Then thought hard. She was wearing a green scarf? Jasper got her that so he must've known that it was her favorite color but then again… she had something blue the day at the park… it could also be grey…or brown…

"Anytime, anytime at all that you want to answer. I'll just be sitting here, you know, _contemplating._" Alice murmured.

I sighed. I got the message. "You're right. I know almost nothing about her and my first date plan… is a tad too much, I'll admit."

"A tad? A _tad?_" she muttered outraged. Then she sighed. "Now do you get it? You'll scare her off. Keep it simple and enjoy getting to know each other first before you jump the wagon."

I smiled. "Okay, okay I will."

"I know how you two look at each other and the um _sexual _tension is definitely there."

I almost let go of the wheel.

She laughed.

"Not funny, Alice."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I just had to add that. You should've seen the look on your face - I wish Emmett saw you. Oh, this is me."

I stopped the car and Alice kissed my cheek before she got out the car.

"Thanks bro, see you."

I kissed her forehead then smiled at her. "Take care Alice."

I was about to drive when Alice tapped my window.

"Forgot something?" I asked as I rolled the window down.

"I forgot to tell you that Jasper (she blushed) told me that if you want to see Bella tomorrow well, she's picking up a book order from a bookstore called um…oh, Book Coven around… ten in the morning. So there's your opening."

I smiled. "Thanks. So, you and… Jasper are getting cozy yourself."

She giggled. "Good-bye Edward." Then she started walking away.

I leaned out my window and called after her "Hey, I _will _need to have the _talk _with you!"

She laughed and called back, "For the last time, good-bye and no _diddling _on the first date!"

I groaned and blushed. _Diddling? _She just had to add that. I rolled my window up and drove home. I smiled. So I had an opening tomorrow.

* * *

**_The following day…_**

I ran a hand through my hair nervously as scanned through several book titles on the classic book sections. It was five past ten already and Bella was nowhere in sight. Maybe Jasper was just pulling my leg… then I shook my head. No, he wouldn't…would he?

Then I heard the tinkling of bells as the door opened and my jaw dropped and my heart decided to become a formula one racer and beat Michael Schumacher's record the way it was beating right now. She was gorgeous.

She was bundled up from the cold but she pulled it off with flair. She was covered up in a white coat and black designer boots, the same one as yesterday. I ducked behind a shelf and watched her as she smiled at the man at the counter and of course the gangly freak smiled at her and I had a sudden desire to punch him as his eyes roamed Bella's body.

She showed the man a slip of paper and the man read it and disappeared in the stock room.

I watched as she waited patiently, scanning the list of new arrivals, her face scrutinizing then appreciating as she read the titles. She truly was a treat for the eyes.

_Now's your chance. Move. _I ordered myself. With a deep breath, I walked over to her.

"Hello Isabella." I didn't mean for it to sound huskily but that's how it came out as I leaned over and whispered the greeting in her ear.

She turned around abruptly, shocked then she smiled at me widely, the beautiful color creeping in her cheeks again.

Her eyebrows drew together, confused as she smiled at me as if wondering why I was there.

"I was just checking out some books." I explained. How creative I groaned inwardly.

She frowned. She didn't buy it. I panicked for a bit.

Then her eyes widened and she sighed as she smirked at me. She was on to me. She looked at me as if waiting for the real answer. She was very perceptive, damn.

"Okay, you caught me. Someone might've mentioned you'd be here."

She rolled her eyes as if to say, of course. Who else could it be but Jasper?

"Yeah, it was Jasper. Don't give him a hard time though. I'm to blame here. I just wanted to see you again."

She smiled ruefully but then laughed soundlessly. I knew I was forgiven but I don't think Jasper would be let off the hook.

"So, since the truth is out there. Would you like to have brunch with me or take a walk?" I asked her using the full effect of my eyes on her.

She blushed then she nodded.

"Wonderful!"

* * *

We ended up in the park eating hotdogs and drinking coke. We sat on a bench.

I looked at her and half-smiled, "So, Ms. Swan, you're quite a challenge, you know that right?"

She cocked an eyebrow and mirrored my half-smile. God, she was cute.

"I meant what I said before you know, that I will make you speak to me."

She sighed then smirked at me.

"So how about now, still not talking to me?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

She giggled soundlessly while she closed her eyes and shook her head. Then she looked at me and like an imaginary zipper for a pair of lips, she zipped her mouth.

I chuckled. "Even without saying anything, you still manage to be sassy."

She folded her arms across her chest and cocked an eyebrow playfully at me.

"Oh, okay. I wonder how I can make you talk… oh I know, I'll drone on and on about myself until you get so bored you'll have to shut me up." I said teasingly.

She dropped her arms and blinked at me.

I shook my head, "No, I'm just kidding. I won't bore you."

She put a hand on my arm, looked at me seriously and shook her head.

I never had that reaction with anyone before. She was full of surprises.

"Oh? You want to hear about myself?" I asked shocked.

She smiled and nodded.

"Are you sure? I might really bore you…"

She shook me gently and smiled sweetly, showing her perfect teeth. Who could say no to that?

"Your wish…" I smiled back at her. "But you have to promise to shut me up whenever, right?"

She drew a cross on her heart then raised her palm in front of me, scout's honor.

I chuckled, "You a scout, I never imagined that clumsy Bella would be roughing it."

She blushed then smacked my arm playfully. It didn't hurt. I laughed.

Then she huffed impatiently.

"Patience, my dear and be prepared to be lulled to sleep by Edward Anthony Cullen's autobiography." I started.

She rolled her eyes.

Then I started telling her some stuff about me.

* * *

I didn't realize that the sun was already setting. I was enjoying myself immensely just talking to Bella, well, me doing the talking part but this was new.

I've always been the quiet one in the family. Alice was the babbler and Emmett was loud. I've never been so comfortable talking about myself with anyone before. With Bella, it was so easy to express myself.

And she listened. She listened very well. Her eyes held me captive again and looking through them made you want to say everything. Though she never said anything, she reacted. She would pout and look at you concerned when she sympathized with you, at one point she even took my hand and squeezed it in reassurance when I told her about how my grandmother died.

She would look at me with awe when I told her about my passion for music and she beamed proudly when I told her about my career with music. Of course she would also wrinkle her nose when I told her about embarrassing and disgusting moments and so on and so forth.

She was amazing.

"Aren't you tired of me yet? I've been going on and on about me for hours and hours." I asked her.

She flashed me another mega-watt smile and shook her head. She squeezed my unreleased hand and looked into my eyes with wonder.

The way she looked at me it was as if she was contemplating something. There were so many emotions in them. I rubbed her hand with my thumb and smiled back at her.

"You're amazing you know that right?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

She looked down shyly and blushed but her smile grew wider.

"I'm serious. You're truly something else, Bella Swan."

She shook her head then frowned.

"Hey…"

I tipped her chin with my free hand so that she could meet my eyes. I smiled at her.

"You don't see yourself clearly. You're beautiful, kind, and your eyes hold wisdom in them… you're also clumsy, yes, the way you kept tripping on our way here…"

She smiled at that. But kept her eyes away from me.

"But I'd catch you anytime." I whispered.

At that she looked at me seriously… intensely…

She looked at me with…wonder… like I was doing something right… but I could see the struggle in them.

Our moment got interrupted when a ball flew our way almost hitting Bella but I pulled her out of the way just in time as someone yelled, "Watch out!"

Bella and I looked startled then I picked up the ball and waited as a kid approached us.

He was a young black haired kid that looked like he was nine years old. He ran to us and apologized.

"I'm sorry! Me and my dad were playing catch and I guess I have to work on my aim, eh?" He laughed nervously.

Bella smiled and patted his shoulder. And looked at me. My irritation from being disrupted dropped and I sighed.

"I'm sorry, really!"

I smiled at the kid and handed him the ball. "No blood, no foul. And you're right, you might want to work on your aim a bit. You should consider the wind direction and the speed."

"Thanks! I'll do that." Then he ran back to his waiting dad.

Bella shook his head. I laughed. So much for our moment.

Then Bella looked at me smiling and I was captured once again. Wow, our moment was back.

Then I had an idea that I always wanted to try.

I stood up in front of her, bent down and offered my hand. She looked at me funny like I was possessed.

I just smiled at her. "Will you oblige me with a dance, Bella Swan?"

She blushed then looked at me bewildered as if saying, are you crazy? Here? Now?

I smiled wider. "Come on, please?" I smoldered her with my eyes.

She blushed harder, sighed then finally she smiled and took my hand.

I grinned then helped her up, she stumbled a bit but I caught her, my hands on her waist and her arms instinctively wrapped themselves on my neck for support.

I laughed and she glared at me but then smiled blushing again.

"My aren't we eager?" I teased. She looked at our position and smiled beautifully as if she was laughing. I wonder what her laugh sounds like…

Then I held her tighter and rested my cheek on her head and she placed hers on my shoulder.

I could smell her alluring scent and the feel of her body against mine made it seem so…perfect.

I gently rocked our bodies to a slow rhythm and moved my mouth near her ear and started to half-sing half-whisper a song I remembered.

_Meet me in outerspace  
We could spend the night, watch the earth come up  
I've grown tired of that place, wont you come with me  
We could start again  
How do you do it, make me feel like I do  
How do you do it, it's better than I ever knew  
Meet me in outerspace  
I will hold you close, If you're afraid of heights  
I need you to see this place, It might be the only way  
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you  
How do you it, make me feel like I do  
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew  
How do you do it, make me feel like I do  
Do oh oh oh oh oh  
You are stellar  
You are stellar  
How do you it, make me feel like I do  
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew  
How do you do it, make me feel like I do  
How do you do it, make me feel like I do, Yeah._

There we were, dancing in the middle of the park. I smiled as I saw the bench and realized that this was the exact place where we first met. The moment was perfect. Here we were in our own little world, not caring about others. We continued to just dance as the sun was setting… twilight has never been so beautiful and out of this world.

* * *

**AN: First of all, the song Edward sang was Stellar by Incubus (I used this song for my other fic, Silent Reverie before but I just had to use it again it's so beautiful!)**

**I'm sorry for just updating, but I had stuff to do and places to go to and this would probably go on until next week. So, I'll probably won't be able to update on a daily basis but I'll try. **

**Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave reviews! I try to reply as much as I can but I can only do as much. **

**And I almost panicked as I got a major case of writer's block that prevented me from writing the ending of Silent Reverie and this chapter so guys, be a friend and be my cheerleaders and drop some suggestions, comments about this story or this chapter, ideas, rants, anything! I write faster with feedback and a lot of reassuraces. It'll be cool if we reach 90 reviews but no pressure guys. :)**

**Margaux**


	7. Chapter 7: The Cullen House

_There we were, dancing in the middle of the park. I smiled as I saw the bench and realized that this was the exact place where we first met. The moment was perfect. Here we were in our own little world, not caring about others. We continued to just dance as the sun was setting… twilight has never been so beautiful and out of this world_

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Cullen House**

After our day at the park, I drove Bella home. I wanted to ask her out again officially but unfortunately she was busy tomorrow and the day after that as she made Jasper tell me. I guess it was okay but it made me…anxious to be away from her.

I did everything to take my mind off her but not even my piano could do that.

_Ring, ring, ring…_

My head shot up towards the direction of my phone. I wonder who that could be?

I stood up from my couch and picked it up.

"Hello, Edward Cullen speaking, how can I help you?"

"Edward darling!" said a warm familiar female voice that I'd know anywhere.

"Hello mother, how are you?"

I heard her lilting laugh, "The real question here is how are _you_? Your father and I have been waiting forever for you to call but I couldn't wait any longer."

I chuckled, "I'm doing alright mother, I've never been happier. I'm really sorry for not calling often, I've just been really busy."

"I understand Edward dear. Your busy with your music and, from what Alice has told me, you've been…preoccupied with other things." I groaned as I sensed the double meaning in her words.

"So Alice called you?"

"No dear, things went well with her clothing business and she just flew in this morning and is currently resting in her room but not after telling us about you."

I made a mental note to strangle Alice when I see her.

"I guess there's no escape from this, what did Alice tell you exactly, mom?"

"She told us that you were…going out with someone!" she said excitedly.

"Mother, it's not that…"

"Oh, Edward dear I'm so happy for you!"

"Mother, I just met her, we're not going out, we're just friends, I think." It was true, what we have is hardly conclusive.

"But from the way Alice was describing her, and you, I think that it's not that hard to imagine."

"I wish." I muttered. Yikes, did I actually say that?

I heard a laugh, "Okay well Edward I hope I get to meet her soon and come home for a visit sometime. Thanksgiving isn't that far away."

"Well I'm free for the next three days, I think I'll go home. I'll take the first flight out in the morning."

"That's marvelous dear!"

I chuckled, "So, I'll see you tomorrow."

"I can't wait son. Take care, I love you dear."

"Love you too mother."

Click.

I smiled. Yes, this is what I needed.

….

* * *

I opened the door to our house and went inside. It was mid-morning and I was sure everyone was still in.

I smelled bacon, muffins and eggs from the kitchen. Esme must be cooking breakfast. I left my luggage near the door and walked in the kitchen.

"Good morning!" I said to a chestnut haired woman whose back a\was turned to me. And in an instant I was greeted with a tight hug from my mother.

"Welcome home, Edward!" I hugged her back. "Feels good to be home."

Then we pulled out of our embrace. "Smells good in here."

Then I saw my mother's scrutinizing stare at me, "Have you been eating well, dear? You look like you've lost some weight."

"Yeah, son and you're paler than usual. Have you been getting enough sleep?" said a cool comforting masculine voice.

Then I saw a blond tall man wearing a white coat enter the kitchen and kissed my mom's forehead.

"Hey dad." Carlisle patted my back then poured some coffee on his mug,

"Good to see you home son. The Cullen home has a full house today." He said cheerfully.

"Oh, so Emmett's still here?" I asked. And in a flash I felt an arm heavily drape over my shoulder.

"Hey Eddie-poo, looking for me?"

I wrenched away from my strong brother's grasp.

"Please don't call me that again."

Then the Cullen household got a resonating round of Emmett's booming laughter.

"Edward, sit down and eat. I know you're busy and all but you shouldn't neglect your health." Esme said concerned.

I sat down obediently, "I'm sorry to worry you mom. I promise to take care of myself better."

Emmett sat down across me and started wolfing down his bacon.

"What Eddiekins need is a girlfriend so someone can take care of him." He smirked. "Like me for instance, why, my girl is the best! Smart, sophisticated, sweet, knows cars and damn hot!"

I looked at him bewildered, "_You? _You mean a girl actually likes _you?"_

He guffawed, "What can I say, it's in the genes right dad? I mean sure, no one inherited dad's golden locks but we got mom's dark hair so we're still hot."

Carlisle chuckled.

"Did someone mention talking about Edward's girlfriend?" said a high soprano chirpy voice. Alice.

"Hi Brother dearest."

"Don't hi brother dearest me, sweet talking Alice."

She pouted - oh she's not pulling one over me. "Oh no, that won't work this time Alice."

She glared at me then she smiled sneakily, "Fine, anyway. How are things with Bella yesterday, did you go see her?" I looked at her like I was about to murder her but I felt my cheeks heat up – and it wasn't from anger.

The rest of my family looked at me expectantly.

Emmett looked like his eyes were popping out, "Hold on, hold on, hold on. You meant to say that Edward, _Edward _finally dated someone other than his piano? So tell me Edward, is she hot?"

I glared at him. Then I looked back at Alice who was sitting beside Emmett, innocently buttering her toast.

"What a beautiful morning." She said.

"So, Bella is her name? What a beautiful name!" Esme exclaimed.

I tried to keep my cool. No way was I getting the spotlight alone.

"I did see Bella yesterday and we just had a pleasant walk in the park. That's it. Where'd you hear about this Alice?" I smiled at her.

And she almost dropped her knife. She looked at me and gave a look that said, don't you dare. But I must!

"I guess you got this from Japer right?" I asked her grinning triumphantly. She blushed and looked around us.

All eyes were on her now. I chuckled.

"Alice _too?_ Who's Jasper? Is he your _boyfriend_ Alice? I'd like to _meet_ him." Emmett said suddenly protective and amused even more.

"Oh Carlisle, our kids are all grown up and dating!" Esme exclaimed.

This was going to be a long morning.

…

* * *

Carlisle left for the hospital. He was the ER doctor of a very prominent hospital here in Chicago. Esme was with a client today. She's an interior designer/architect. Alice also went out to see more people about her clothes as well as check out some universities where she could enroll part time in and major in design so she could be more professional.

So it was just Emmett and I. We were taking a break from shooting some hoops in our backyard.

"Hey, Em. I heard you were taking a break from taking cases.

He nodded, "Yeah. But after thanksgiving I'll go back to Seattle."

I nodded at him then drank some water.

"Say, Ed."

I glanced at him, "Yeah?"

"Alice told me about…Bella was it?" He said cautiously. So I guess Alice told her about the 'silent' thing.

"Yes, that's her name." I answered.

"I must say, brother of mine, I'm impressed that you're okay with her silence. Do you even know why though?"

I sighed. "I don't know Emmett. I don't know why she _won't_ or…_can't_ talk but I do know one thing."

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "And that is?"

I smiled at him and took another sip of water. "I'm falling for her."

He chuckled. But before anyone could say anything, we heard someone approach.

Walking towards us was our next-door neighbor in all his smug but happy glory. Standing in front if us was a tall muscular eighteen year old with black hair and russet colored skin and a big goofy grin.

"Hey guys! Whoa, can't believe it's piano man in the flesh!" he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes as Emmett guffawed. "Good to see you too Jacob."

His eyebrows met in disapproval. "I told you to call me Jake."

"Sure kid." Emmett hollered.

Jacob grabbed the ball and started dribbling then shot a basket.

"So what are you guys yapping about? I could hear Emmett all the way to Switzerland!" He joked.

"Well you see Edward here has finally found his object of affection." He jabbed his thumb at me.

I groaned. Great.

Jacob froze during midshot and looked at me like Christmas morning or like trick or treat… trick being more the case.

"_Nooo! _You don't _say_!" He dropped the ball and sat on the ground across from me.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose as Emmett told him all that he knew and Jacob eagerly listened.

"Silent huh? That's tough. But being with a house full of girls who keep babbling and talking – I could use that!" he quipped.

I sighed. Then I saw Emmett looking like he was deep in thought.

"Hmmm…well we don't know for certain if Bella won't or can't talk right?" he asked.

"Yes. That would be the case." I agreed.

He smiled at me. "But you seem to have no problem communicating with her so I guess she's been doing this for a long time."

"Nah. We don't know for sure as well. You know Edward reads people like a book. He might just know what Bella thinks." Jacob argued.

I shook my head at that. "It's harder than it seems. She's a complete mystery and I only get by through hits and misses but I saw how she is with other people…I don't think I ever saw her use sign language but who are we to say I just didn't get the chance to see her use it…ah how frustrating!"

"Edward, chill. The only way we can find out, assuming his _friend _or Alice's own object of affection," he smirked as he saw Jacob's shocked expression again, "that he won't tell you about it, then you should think of situations where speech is necessary."

Emmett had a point.

"Did you try to tell her your life story, get her bored that she had to shut you up?" Jacob suggested while trying to hold back from laughing. Emmett however cracked up.

"Bada bing." Jacob said as he let loose his howls of laughter.

"As amusing as this all seems to you, I actually shared some things with her and she wasn't the slightest bit bored." I said smugly.

They both looked at me shocked. But that didn't last long as another round of laughter ensued.

"Man, this chick must really dig Edward." Jacob commented.

I scowled at him but I felt my ears flare up. I was silently pleased that they thought that Bella liked me.

"So did you guys go out yet?" Emmet asked in between suppressing laughter.

I shook my head lightly. "Well, not exactly."

"That's cool I guess…so where should your date be? Somewhere that would require speaking without putting her on the spot?" he mused.

I thought as well. It couldn't hurt to hear the suggestions. Though I oppose to forcing or tricking Bella into speaking, I was still curious. I guess I would sort through their suggestions first and see if they aren't too deceptive. Either way, it would always be her choice. _Always. _

Jacob lit up and pumped his fist. "You could do extreme sports! You know, sky diving, Para sailing, cliff diving's fun…you know, the works."

I could see Emmett nodding at Jacob's suggestion but in the background I stared at him horrendously! Cliff diving? That would be too dangerous! I would never risk Bella's life!

Emmett and Jacob stopped talking, took one long look at me then glanced at each other before breaking into peals of laughter.

Emmett put his massive hand on my shoulder to either steady himself or to reassure me, I didn't care.

"Chill, bro." He said. "You gotta say Jacob's suggestion isn't all that bad. I think when it comes to extreme sports, a whole lot of yelling is involved or at least a tiny squeal or plea of refusal should do the trick. You could settle for something less extreme which yields similar results."

"Whatever, but I'm still all for an extreme date! Hey, then maybe we can double." Jacob said excitedly.

I was the one staring at him in shock this time. "You? On a _date? _As in an actual girl, Jake?"

He snorted, "Of course! I'm quite a stud, what can I say." He then rubbed his fingers on his chest then blew on them smugly.

I was all ready for a rebuttal when Emmett spoke up.

"You could take her to an amusement park…ride some scary rides like the roller coaster…scare the hell out of her…" he snickered.

"That's not bad." I commented, my eyes wide. Emmett was sharp when he wanted to. Hell, the goofiness is all an act to deceive people from knowing how smart he was.

"Or if that's still too wild for yah, you can keep it classic, take her to the movies. Watch a horror flick, or a suspense one… throw in some action… and you can reap the benefits of having hugs and serious cuddling as you protect her from the horror and gore." Jacob trailed off suggestively.

Emmett high-fived him. But I saw past his innuendo and thought that his idea wasn't half bas as well.

"That could work as well." I said, already planning things thoroughly in my head.

Emmett clapped my back while chuckling.

"I think Edward gets it now," he said and Jacob nodded.

I smiled at them and punched both their arms. "Thanks guys."

"Come to the expert, young grasshopper." Emmett said jokingly.

I grimaced at his bad joke.

"You mean, expert_s_." Jacob added.

Emmett laughed his head of, "The kid has one date and he calls himself an expert already." I laughed at that.

Jacob kicked Emmett's shin. "Shut up, grandpa!"

Emmett looked at him gloatingly, "Call me as old as you want but with age comes…_experience_." Then he laughed boisterously.

I slapped my forehead and I saw Jacob grimace in disgust.

"Ugh. Too much information, dude." Jacob whined. Emmett just laughed louder.

I smiled to myself then went inside the house silently as Emmett and Jacob started arguing about basketball.

I remembered what Alice told me before she left this morning.

"_Here's Jasper's number. He said that if you want to give Bella a message or whatever, that you should call him."_

I chuckled to myself. So Jasper was Bella's assistant now? Or maybe he wants to screen me better first. Possibly. Anyway, the way through Bella's heart is through Jasper's phone.

I called the number Alice gave me. And after a few rings, I felt like someone from old films, asking the overprotective father's approval of seeing their timid daughter.

"Hello?" answered Jasper in his deep bass voice that I had to laugh inwardly wondering how many boys he made running who even as much as look at Bella.

"Hello Jasper, this is Edward." I said calmly.

"Oh, hey Edward. You called for Bella right?" I heard someone rustling beside him and I knew Bella was with him right now.

"Yes. Alice gave me this number."

He chuckled, "Well, Bella's actually beside me and if you want I could put us on speakers." I knew what he meant, that he would answer for Bella.

"I guess that's okay."

"Okay…there you go."

"Hello Bella." I said warmly.

I heard Jasper snicker and I also heard a smack.

"Hey! Oh, Bella _said_ hi." Jasper said, still snickering.

My smile grew wider. I almost forgot I was still on the phone.

"Hello? Edward? Still there? Bella's starting to worry." He chuckled.

"Oh, sorry. I was wondering if Bella's busy on Friday?" I asked in the calmest way possible. I was a little nervous but excited as well.

"Wait a sec." Jasper said. Then after a while he spoke up, "Bella's shaking her head so I guess that's a no. Did you have anything in mind?" He suddenly sounded serious. Big brother/overprotective best friend mode I guess.

I chuckled. "Well, if Bella's not busy, I would love to take her out to dinner and maybe catch a movie."

"I don't know." Jasper said slowly. Then I heard another smack, heavier this time.

"Ow! Jeez Bella! I guess that's your answer Edward, _her violence _means yes."

I grinned so wide it hurt. "Great! So Bella, I'll pick you up at 7?"

Silence.

I laughed inwardly. Of course.

"By her _enthusiastic _nod, I'd take it that it's a yes." Jasper said clearly amused.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Hey Edward, you're off speaker phone and my twin called Bella into her room I just want to say that it's not going to work… what you're planning."

My eyes grew wide with shock.

I couldn't answer him.

I heard a sigh. "Taking her to the movies… well, she won't talk Edward. That's all I'm saying. Just so you don't get your hopes up."

I sighed too. "Thanks Jasper. I guess I kind of knew that deep inside. But again, it's okay. I just want to be with her."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I know. But something tells me you're not giving up, are you?"

"Well I won't give up on her anyway. I'm going to take my chances with the rest. She is all that matters."

"Good answer. Well I guess I'm going to wish you luck, though that won't help a bit. Then again at least you could hope for the _why _instead of the _what_.

"That's certainly helpful. I'll take that."

"Ah, I think I'm giving more than what is needed to know so I'm shutting up now."

I chuckled. "Thanks Jasper." I said gratefully.

"See you, Edward oh and if you make her cry I'll kick your ass my dear Edward Anthony, and your little Volvo too." He chuckled darkly. Though he was joking I could feel sincerity coating his words. Jasper was a big man, not bigger than Emmett, but he could hold on to his word.

"I'll keep that in mind but then again, if you make _our _Alice cry, well, you'll have two dark haired, Chicago-bred brothers as well as an eighteen year old with a giant growth spurt to kick _your_ ass and more." I said coolly.

We both laughed. Then after some pleasantries I ended the call.

I smiled crookedly and laughed to myself.

But my happy demeanor got cut off when I opened the sliding door that lead from the garden to the living room and two bumbling eavesdroppers came tumbling down like humpty dumpty.

But that wasn't all. I could hear stifled giggles from the doorway and a muted chuckling. Oh great. My whole _family _was listening in.

This family certainly does not know the meaning of privacy.

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry for the delay but it was our enrolment yesterday and the next semester is starting soon. I won't be able to update on a daily basis but i will try to update at least once a week, twice if we're lucky. Anyhow, I want to know if you have suggestions on where Edward could take Bella on a date to see if she could somehow 'speak' or at least let Edward know why she's silent. Edward _will _know why and I guess, pretty soon when the time is right.**

**I have over 3000 hits! I'm so overjoyed! Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. I want you guys to be involved in the story and let me know if you have any ideas. We're almost reaching the hundred mark in the reviews, I hope we go beyond that. :)**

**Thanks again!**

**_Margaux_**


	8. Chapter 8: Dinner & a Movie

_I smiled crookedly and laughed to myself._

_But my happy demeanor got cut off when I opened the sliding door that lead from the garden to the living room and two bumbling eavesdroppers came tumbling down like humpty dumpty._

_But that wasn't all. I could hear stifled giggles from the doorway and a muted chuckling. Oh great. My whole family was listening in._

_This family certainly does not know the meaning of privacy._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Dinner & a Movie**

Today is Friday at last and I was glad that I went home the last three days. The suggestions my family gave me, after teasing the hell out of me first, were truly helpful. Alice flew in New York with me though she was still going to stay with a friend of hers. I knew she was going to spend some time with Jasper as I'm going to spend mine with Bella.

I smiled at that thought.

Following Jacob's suggestion, I'm going to keep it simple. Dinner and a movie. I would take her to an Italian restaurant then catch a film of her choice.

I went over the dinner reservations that I made as well as check out what's playing. I know Alice would get a kick out of this but I can't go to Bella's empty handed so I also placed an order for a dozen roses – _just one _as I reminded myself that I shouldn't go overboard.

I was busy mulling over the plans when the phone rang.

It took a moment before I picked it up. I had a sudden bad feeling about that call. Please, oh please don't let this be Bella calling to cancel!

Alice assured and reassured me that my thorough planning would not go to waste. And no one bet against Alice!

The phone rang on impatiently so I had no choice but to answer it.

Nervously, I picked it up.

"Edward Cullen speaking, how may I help you?" I said politely.

"Hey Edward," said a familiar voice and I suddenly felt all my nightmares come true.

"Hi…Jasper."

"Listen Edward, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but…" he trailed off, a tinge of nervousness in his tone, but I knew what he was going to say so I listened on.

"Bella won't be able to make it tonight," he said apologetically.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to regain my composure, "Oh, is that so…that' s…quite alright…" I knew it, I knew it…

"It's not like that Edward," he said hastily. "Bella…well, Bella's kind of feeling under the weather."

I drew in a long breath, as my eyes grew wide. Bella…_My Bella_ is sick!

"Well, when we went to Forks to visit her dad she caught a cold from getting drenched in rain and she's very sorry." Jasper explained.

So her father didn't live with her? Where was her mother? She lives alone? _Ah, Edward stop! _There are more important matters to worry about.

"No, no. I understand Jasper. We could go some other time." I said, trying to mask my disappointment but my worry was far from sheeted.

"I knew you would understand. Well, um, Edward is Alice with you?" he asked. I guess Bella and I weren't the only ones who who'd cancel.

"Sorry Jasper, she's not with me right now."

"Bummer, well, it's better that I call her anyway." he said disappointedly.

I felt bad for Jasper and I knew that Bella would feel guilty about this – it was in her nature, I was sure of it. I knew a way out of this but I don't want to be misunderstood for my motives. Then an idea hit me.

"Say Jasper, would it be okay if I come visit? I'll even bring soup." I said cheerily.

I heard him chuckle, "Sure, I guess that's no problem."

"Great. So I'll see you then."

"Okay, thanks I'm sure Bella would appreciate it."

I ended the call soon after and waited for at least ten minutes. Just enough time for Jasper to call Alice then I called her.

"Oh, hello Edward." She answered glumly. I guess Jasper did call her.

"Hey Alice." I said cheerfully.

"What are you happy about? I heard Bella's sick. Aren't you the least bit…_oh! _Me _thinks_ that you have something in mind…"

I chuckled at her sudden movie impression and told her my plans.

"So both our dates got cancelled today, right?"

"Yeah?" she said barely containing her glee.

"Well I just told Jasper that I'm coming over with soup so I was wondering if you'd like to come with me?" I asked a tad too casually, trying not to give away too much but I knew that the cogs started turning in her equally cunning Cullen mind of hers.

I heard her snicker, "_Shrewd. _Very, shrewd, brother of mine – a round of applause everybody! So while you go give Bella her…_soup…_I'll keep the blond best friend company while you keep your fair lady some TLC."

"That's a possibility." I said breezily. "Oh and it gets better sister dear, I did not mention the idea that you're going to tag along. I do believe that he promised not to say a thing to Bella that I'm coming over."

"So they're both in for a sweet surprise." Alice finished the thought. "Okay, pick me up in Barney's after you make your…soup," she giggled.

I chuckled, "Will do."

She hung up and I went to the kitchen and started to make Bella's soup.

……

* * *

Carrying the pot of hot chicken noodle soup I rang the doorbell, trying to suppress my laughter as Alice hid behind me.

In a flash and looking decent this time, Jasper opened the door and greeted me with a warm smile but it was obvious that he was hiding his disappointment.

"Nice to see you again, Jasper."

"You too Edward. Bella's upstairs, let me get that soup for you." He offered politely.

"No it's okay. Just point me to the kitchen."

He shrugged. "Nothing much to do here, I might as well so you can go talk to Bella now."

I elbowed Alice from behind me; Jasper caught that and immediately, his face lit up.

"Oh! You brought Alice with you!" he exclaimed happily as he peeked behind me.

Alice stepped around me slowly, blushed and smiled back at Jasper, "Hi Jasper!"

"Come in, you two. It's starting to get cold." Jasper, now fully invigorated, stepped aside and led us in, his eyes never taking them off of Alice.

"Wait a second," Jasper said as he snatched the pot from my hands, disappeared in the kitchen then in no time he was carrying a tray of soup and I remembered I left something in the car – damn it.

Jasper started to lead us to Bella's room carrying the tray and chatting with Alice when I decided to go back to my car.

"I left something in the car, go on ahead and I'll follow," I explained.

They both nodded and I dashed outside.

….

* * *

Carrying the roses that I ordered, I was about to knock on Bella's partially opened door when I heard them talking – well, Jasper and Alice, so I took a peek first.

I saw Bella looking paler yet flushed, probably from her body heat. She had a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and I saw Alice brushing her hair and putting it up to relieve Bella.

I saw Bella looking weak but her smile still held the same exuberance.

"I must say, Alice, I wasn't expecting you to come. This is certainly a surprise! Isn't that right, Bella?" Jasper asked her and I saw Bella nod.

I took a step forward and I saw Bella glance curiously and…was that excitement…at my direction.

Wearing a big smile I went in. "Knock, knock."

Bella's eyes widened at me then she broke into a beautiful wide smile.

Jasper and Alice chuckled.

Then Jasper smacked his forehead and looked apologetically at me then at Bella.

"I'm sorry! I completely forgot! Bella, the soup you're about to eat was made by Edward," he explained while giving her a knowing smile.

Bella, already flushed, turned even redder and that delighted me even more.

"It's nothing, I just thought I'd make you something…no big deal." I said hurriedly while running a hand through my hair.

"Oh so that's what you left!" Alice exclaimed, looking pointedly at the roses I carried.

"Bella, these are for you. I hope you get well soon." I said, my own cheeks flaring up.

Jasper snickered, stood up and held his hands out at me. "Here, let me take them from you and I'll find a suitable place for them."

I handed him the roses and he started walking towards the door when Alice, after doing Bella's hair rose as well to follow him.

"I'll come help." She chirped and Jasper smiled as he nodded at her.

Alice winked at me before she followed Jasper down the stairs.

I heard a soft sneeze and I glanced at Bella who covered her nose.

I took a seat beside her bed.

I handed her a tissue from the pack on her nightstand. She took it gratefully and blew on it. Here she was, her nose so red, beads of sweat on her forehead yet she looked nothing but adorable to me.

I don't know why I did it but I wordlessly tuck a loose strand of hair on her ear and wiped the cold sheen on her forehead and just let my hand cradle her face.

I felt the sudden rush of heat beneath my hand that contrasted with her clammy skin as she looked at me with her big doe eyes, searching.

Not meaning to make it sound like a whisper, I asked her concernedly, "How are you, Bella?"

She blinked and her eyes looked down and she shrugged nonchalantly then gave a small smile as she brought her dark brown eyes back to meet mine.

I half-smiled at her, "You don't have to tough it out for me, you know."

She rolled her eyes but then she touched the hand that was on her face and looked at me with apology in her eyes as she frowned.

I tingled from her touch but I had to set that aside for now and reassure her. I just knew she was going to feel guilty about this.

I repositioned my hand to grip hers tightly but carefully – she looked so fragile. I shook my head at her and grinned.

"Please don't feel guilty. It's just a date."

She shook her head and touched my arm, her eyes looking more and more sorry.

I patted her hand, "It's fine, really. It's not your fault and besides, I'm here and I brought soup! We planned an evening together and it is nearing evening and well…I'm here…you're here…so…we're together after all."

She rolled her eyes sarcastically but a smile crept up her face.

Then Jasper and Alice came back with Jasper carrying a cut glass vase holding the roses.

"So what are we four going to do here? Parcheesi? DVD marathon? Hmmm…though Bella's sick I think I can still play dress up with her…" Alice wrinkled her nose and Bella pulled the covers over her head and faked sleep.

Jasper and I couldn't help but laugh.

Alice huffed then plopped her tiny self into Bella's bed and shook Bella gently.

"I was only kidding!"

Bella peeked with one eye cautiously before tackling Alice.

"Whoa, are you sure your sick? If you are I'm running to your closet right this second!" Alice said sneakily and Bella released her right away but the sudden movement was too much for her that she almost fell out the bed if Jasper and I didn't catch her.

"Are you okay, Bella? Maybe you should sleep now." Jasper said warily.

"Yeah, Bella, Alice and I can go now so you can rest." I offered.

She shook her head and clung to me and I almost dropped her but Jasper had her.

Jasper snickered, "Okay, then. Well anyone up for pizza?"

"Oh! Are you going to order from the place you were talking about?" Alice asked with zest.

Jasper smiled at her, "Yeah…"

So Jasper and Alice were going to have a simple pizza dinner. I looked at Bella and she was biting her lip guiltily. I frowned. It wasn't her fault.

"Hey why don't you guys go buy the pizza or eat out? I'll stay and take care of Bella." I suggested.

I looked at Bella's shocked face and winked at her, "I'll be her babysitter for the night."

She pouted then stuck her tongue at me as I chuckled.

I looked at Jasper and Alice who were both looking surprised.

"So what do you say?"

Then worry crossed Jasper's face, "I don't know Edward… I'm not too keen on leaving Bella…" then he glanced at Bella.

Bella put a hand on Jasper's shoulder and gave him a light push, urging him on.

Jasper kissed Bella's hand affectionately…brotherly, as I had to remind myself not to get jealous.

Bella huffed and looked at Alice and smiled at her.

Alice smiled gratefully at Bella but like Jasper, she didn't want to be a bother. "Bella, it's okay. You don't have to think anything of it. I'm happy to be here for you guys, really."

Bella shook her head and pouted at her and then at Jasper.

Jasper looked away, "No, not that!"

"Come on guys, it's just for a couple of hours. I promise I'll take good care of Bella here and I'm sure she'll feel a whole lot better when you guys go out and have fun, isn't that right, Bella?"

She nodded grinning.

Jasper's brow furrowed, "Are you sure it's okay?" he asked Bella.

Bella put her hands on her hips and mockingly glared at Jasper.

"Okay, okay, I can take a hint." Jasper laughed lightly. He pulled Bella into a tight hug and kissed her forehead.

"You're burning, Bells. Get some rest, okay?"

Bella nodded and pushed Jasper.

Jasper chuckled. "Well, Edward, Bella needs to take this," he handed me a pill, "after she eats. Make sure she gets some rest, okay? You know my number or you could just call Alice I guess, in case something happens."

"Got it. _Mom." _I said jokingly.

He grimaced as Alice giggled and Bella too, only soundlessly of course.

"No, you're not allowed to make jokes! I have authority here." He said sardonically.

"Sorry. Couldn't help it. Don't worry. Just go have fun."

Alice hugged Bella, "See you Bella, hope you get well soon."

Then she kissed my cheek and went down with Jasper.

When they were out of earshot I bent down and whispered to Bella, "Finally, I thought those two would never leave!" then I winked at her.

She smacked me playfully on the arm and grinned.

"So, do you want to sleep now?"

She shook her head.

"Okay…hmmm… I noticed you have a player set up in your living room. What do you say we have our movie as planned then?"

She nodded happily and started to get up from bed, I stopped her.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her, as she looked up at me in question.

"You're sick, remember? You're not supposed to move around that much."

She looked at me with that cute confused look in her.

I smirked at her and in one swift movement; I was carrying her, bridal style.

In her shock, she instinctively wrapped her arms around my neck – that wiped the smirk of my face.

I looked at her shocked eyes and realized how close our faces were. There was this tension in the air again and I was completely drawn to her.

She was so close I could smell the strawberry scent from her hair. I could also feel her hot breath caressing my face. We were so close that I only just need to lean in a little more to…

Then I blinked and realized that this was inappropriate and she snapped out of her gaze as well. She blushed and I saw her brows furrow…from disappointment? I held her gaze to make her feel that I wanted this more than anything but the time's just not right. She seemed to understand.

I changed the subject as it was beginning to feel awkward. "Um, so hold on tight to me."

Then she glared at me and tried to wrench herself away.

I struggled with her resistance and met her eyes once more. She pointed to her feet, meaning that she can walk on her own.

I rolled my eyes at her and smirked then carefully carried her downstairs despite her silent protests.

She finally gave up glumly and rested her head on my chest. I smiled as I set her down on the couch and ran back to her room to get her blanket, her medicine and because I'm great with balancing, I got her tray with my soup.

Once we were settled on the couch, with "Lost in Translation" playing, I propped her up and set the tray before her.

She was about to reach for her spoon but I beat her to it.

"Please let me feed you? I made this soup after all." I asked her using the full force of my eyes.

She scowled at me at first but then sighed as she gave a small nod.

So I fed her the soup and from her smile, I figured she liked it. Then I gave her, her medicine and we continued to watch the movie.

After a while, she rested her head on my shoulder and I smiled as I saw that she had fallen asleep. I put a pillow on my lap and carefully rested her head there while all the same, drawing the thick blanket over her as she shivered.

I watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful but what I found intriguing was how her lips would sometimes move as if she was talking but no words came out. I even leant in to see if she was whispering in a voice so low but I got nothing.

So I settled on stroking her hair while she sleeps. I felt her forehead and frowned as she still had a slight fever. She sniffled at times and coughed a bit so I rubbed her back soothingly.

Why am I doing this? I've never felt so attached to anyone like this before! I've known her for what? Less than a week and we haven't gone to an official date yet but when I look at her it's like I'm looking into the future…

She makes me feel so…I can't even describe it. I like her, I really do. I even told her that before yet I can't help but entertain thoughts of the possibility that what I feel for her could be something more…could she feel the same?

I was broken from my silent reverie from the sound of a door opening and I instinctively put a protective arm around Bella. She stirred and I immediately stroke her hair gently, humming a tune that suddenly popped in my mind but my eyes were still on alert.

My humming worked as she relaxed into my arms and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw a flash of gold.

"Hi Edward! Oh, sorry. Bella's out." He chuckled quietly.

I smiled at him then gently held Bella's head and expertly maneuvered my way out of the couch and placing her head on the pillow.

"Sorry, she wanted to watch a movie downstairs but it was completely my idea."

Jasper waved me off, "It's okay. Anyway, Alice told me to drive her to the place she's staying at instead of coming back here since it was in the way."

I nodded at him, "That's okay then. So, I guess I should be on my way as well."

Jasper grinned at me, "Wait, stay a while. I've been meaning to talk to you. Let me just carry Bella back upstairs."

"Okay, then."

He nodded then I watched as he bent over Bella, slung her arm gingerly over his shoulder and picked her up. Bella opened her eyes groggily.

"Shhh…go back to sleep, I gotcha." Then he carried her back upstairs.

After a while, Jasper came back.

"Thanks for taking care of Bella, Edward."

"No problem. It was no trouble at all."

He nodded appreciatively at me then he stood up, went into the kitchen and came back with two bottles of beer.

"You know how to hold your liquor, I hope." He asked cockily but obviously in a joking manner.

I smirked at him, "Of course."

He chuckled, "Great, then. Let's go have a drink outside in the porch. Oh and these are mine, not Bella's in case you were wondering."

"I figured that."

So we both went out and took a seat opposite each other in the porch.

"So what was it you want to talk about, Jasper?" I asked then took a swig.

He took a swig as well then sighed. Then he looked at me seriously.

"It's about Bella." He answered.

I was all ears after that.

* * *

**AN: So there's your update! Things didn't go _exactly _as Edward planned but hey, it's Bella after all. :) Anyway, sorry for the cliffhanger but I had to cut it as the chapter was starting to get too long. I'll try to update again as soon as possible. I'm aiming for 12 or 15 chapters for this story by the way. I know you guys are probably dying to know what Jasper is going to say but you're going to have to wait so be kind and leave some reviews. :)**

**Thanks for reading my story and for taking the time to review! I will do Bella's point-of-view in the near future, don't worry. :)**

**Margaux**


	9. Chapter 9: Jasper & Bella

**A reminder, this is an AH/AU Story that is rated T for language and possibly mature themes.**

"_You know how to hold your liquor, I hope." He asked cockily but obviously in a joking manner._

_I smirked at him, "Of course."_

_He chuckled, "Great, then. Let's go have a drink outside in the porch. Oh and these are mine, not Bella's in case you were wondering."_

"_I figured that."_

_So we both went out and took a seat opposite each other in the porch._

"_So what was it you want to talk about, Jasper?" I asked then took a swig._

_He took a swig as well then sighed. Then he looked at me seriously._

"_It's about Bella." He answered._

_I was all ears after that.

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 9: Jasper and Bella**

As soon as the words came out from Jasper's mouth, he had my full attention. I studied his face carefully and I saw that his gray eyes held sadness in them and…restraint.

He sighed then composed himself as he continued.

"And me."

A flash of jealousy crossed my mind but I quickly shrugged it off by taking a large gulp of my beer. Jasper did the same.

"Edward, I've seen the way you…look when I'm being… affectionate with Bella," he said to me knowing that I knew what he meant. I have to hand it to Jasper; he was being subtle with this at least because look wasn't the right term for it… glare would be more apt.

Then he smirked, "Again, Edward, I understand where you're coming from but like I clarified before, you have nothing to be worried about. I mean, sure, me and Bella are not bonded by blood like you and Alice but she's much a sister to me like Alice is to you."

I nodded and said the only thing I could muster, "Oh."

He chuckled, "I know it's kind of hard to really understand and I did tell you that I have feelings for her –

"Have?" I cut him off.

"Let me finish. Yes, _have_, because I love her but I love her like family, that's all I want from her," he said with conviction.

"Jasper, I'm sorry but it's hard to fully comprehend…"

He raised an eyebrow impatiently, "Come on Edward, just let it out. Get it off your chest."

"All right then, I'm sorry but from what I observed… if… if you guys never met Alice and I… I feel as if even though Bella…rejected you that you would still…be around her, waiting…hoping…"

He bowed his head and half-smiled, "Well, yeah, I suppose."

I chuckled, "I wouldn't blame you, Bella's so…different…so special."

Then his face looked serious again, "But back to what I was saying, I love Bella but I know that we aren't meant to be… together. Not when I see the way you are with her… not when I see the way she is with you. And when I met your sister, it made me realize that I had a different love for Bella."

He sighed then took a drink then continued but his eyes were focused on his feet. "But I can't help but feel affectionate towards Bella. Nothing I do for her would ever be enough…"

"Enough for what?" I asked. I was confused. I had a feeling that something happened.

"Enough for what she did."

"You're talking in riddles, Jazz. Just tell me, what did she do?"

Then he looked at me square in the eyes, "She saved my life." Then he looked away and drank another big gulp of beer.

I said nothing. I had no words.

He leaned back and took a deep breath. "Before I elaborate on that, why don't I give you a little of Bella's history so you can understand her better. Okay, Bella's history with me in a way…But I'll let her tell you the rest," he said then he mumbled something in a low voice that sounded like "in her own way anyway."

"Bella is three years younger than me. Her mother, Renee was a good friend of my late mother, Helen. We were neighbors with them. Renee married Charlie Swan, the police chief of Forks, our hometown. The Swans were lovely people and Renee would sometimes baby-sit Rosalie, my twin and me. It wasn't long after when Bella came along.

"Rose and I helped take care of her and we've been close ever since but I only watched her from a distance or pick her up when she fell, feed her at times and all that but I never spoke to her that much.

"It was only when she was four and I was seven when I began my adoration of her. Rose was off to her ballet class so I was left to take care of Bella. It was sunny that day in Forks and trust me, that wasn't a usual sight so we went to the woods out back and played.

"Then it started raining by mid afternoon. I took Bella inside her house when I remembered I forgot to bring up my bicycle and it was sitting outside in the rain out in the woods so I told Bella to stay inside and wait for me.

"It started to rain very heavily that it was too dark to see clearly. Thunder and lightning kept escalating and that certainly made it harder. I noticed that the ground was getting slippery and soft so I abandoned the idea of retrieving my bike and started to make my way back into the house.

"I hadn't realized that I went too deep. I got lost through all the rain and wind and in all of a sudden I blacked out. The next thing you know I was in a white hospital room with blinding lights.

"Bits and pieces of what happened in between them started coming back as fuzzy images but all I know for certain was that Bella was the reason I'm alive right now"

Jasper paused and took a deep breath. I patted his back once.

He nodded then continued, "The doctor said that I slipped and banged my head into a big boulder and that I lost a lot of blood and to make matters worst…my blood type was rare and you would think my sister had the same type but weird enough, she didn't. If my mother was alive, then there wouldn't be a problem…but then there was another substitute… Bella had the same blood type as me…"

"So she was the donor?" I asked though I knew the answer already.

Jasper clutched his head and looked so anguished, "She was so _small_, Edward…so _fragile…_and something happened to her as well, Edward. But it's not my story to tell. My dad said that Bella followed me and attempted to drag my body up but she couldn't… Bella had somehow contacted Charlie and he said that after the call when they found me, Bella was hunched over me protectively, scared shitless and freezing… her small hands wrapped around me… crying…they said…

He stopped and shivered. "What did they say Jasper?"

He looked at me with the same pained expression, "They said that Bella almost died. She was so terrified and cold and she was also bleeding… yet she gave me her blood, Edward."

I looked at him astonished, even as a child Bella was caring… so selfless…

Jasper took a deep breath. "She showed me what a little brave soldier she was and managed to survive but not without its consequences…"

"What consequences?"

"I can't tell you," he whispered and rage crept up in me.

"Tell me Jasper, _what consequences?" _I pressed.

He glared at me, "I can't tell you." He said firmly.

"Then what's the fucking point then?" I raged at him.

"The point _is_ ever since then; I devoted myself to watch over her, take care of her. You don't know how much I want to tell you everything Edward but I promised her." he said to me, his piercing gray eyes serious.

"I can't break any promises with her. I owe her too much."

I sighed, "That's fair, I suppose."

"Anyway, Edward I hope this explains my adoration of her. I know that to spectators, it would seem that I was Bella's doting beau but I'm not."

I nodded at him, smiling to myself in knowing now where Jasper was coming from. But there were some more questions that I wanted to ask.

"Jasper, does Bella live here alone?" I asked him.

He gave a nod, "Yes. Charlie, her dad, still lives in Forks and Renee, her mom got remarried and lives in Jacksonville."

I nodded at him, but Jasper smirked and let out a small laugh, "Sensing your confusion, I believe I should elaborate."

I shook my head at him, "No, it's okay. I was merely curious about who was with Bella in this house."

Jasper chuckled, "Well, for starters, I didn't want to mention this right away as it gives a wrong impression but I kind of live with Bella here."

I did my best to stay calm and composed and reminded myself of our previous discussion. But…_he lives here? As in, he actually _lives _here?_

Jasper studied my face amusedly then sighed, "And I thought that we had a very good talk of me not having any romantic relationship with Bella," then he snickered.

I took a large gulp of beer; I was almost finished with my bottle. "So that whole thing where you went home was just an act?" I managed to talk, finally.

"No. Okay, here's the deal to end the confusion, you see I do live with my sister and my dad next door but I spend the nights here." he explained nonchalantly while I wrinkled my nose.

He caught that and backtracked right away, "Okay, that didn't come off right. I have a room here in the house and it's just opposite Bella's. Because of Bella's condition, I don't think I would want her to be alone. What if something happens? What if someone breaks in? She can't scream, she can't even use the phone…" he trailed of shuddering at the thought.

My eyes grew wide at how frightening it was to leave Bella alone. If something were to happen… like Jasper, I didn't want to think of what could happen. I had the sudden urge to move all my things here and never leave Bella.

"Why doesn't she just stay with you at your house?" Surely they had room for Bella there. It was quite a big house.

He sighed, "She did for a while but like what she told her parents, she doesn't like being worried over – be a burden. She doesn't like the extra attention. She wants everyone to know that she's doing fine on her own.

"That's why when this house was for sale, all the money she saved from her work as well as a graduation gift from her parents as well as her stepfather, Phil went to this house. No one could talk her out of it. Living right next door to me was a compromise already, she said."

"I see."

He nodded, "Yeah. That's why I insisted on staying here to help her settle at first then I made up a lot of excuses just so I could stay and then one night she finally gave up and told me to mark any room in the house as mine."

"That's a rather weird arrangement but I wouldn't have it either way. Her safety is what matters," I commented.

"Bella can be so stubborn at times but she can be reasonable with the right argument - just a little heads up," winked Jasper and I laughed at that.

"Stubborn… I can imagine. So you told me about Bella's work, what is it that she does?"

He smiled wickedly, "Oh, I don't want to spoil the fun. But I'll give you this at least, she's currently preparing for an eventful December. She actually just got back from studying in Paris for two years – well, we both did, only I lingered on and waited for her."

I scrunched up my face, deciphering what Bella could be studying in Paris for? It must be related to the arts like me… I studied music in Vienna… then I remembered something.

"When I first met Bella at the park, I noticed that she was sketching and she was quite good."

Jasper chuckled, "No. but you're slightly on the right track. The sketching, well, she got that from me. I taught her that."

"Oh, come to think of it, Alice did mention that you were an artist."

He smiled then nodded, "I actually have a degree in Architecture but when Bella went to Paris, I took a few Painting courses there."

Now I was really curious, it definitely had something to do with the arts. My heart skipped a beat, could it possibly be music?

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me then smirked, "I am sensing you're going to launch a million questions but I've already given too much, Bella will kill me!"

I chuckled, "Okay. Just one last question."

He raised a brow, "Shoot."

"Just how old is Bella?"

He burst out laughing, "Right, right. Well, she just turned twenty a week and three days after you met her at the park. The green scarf that led you to her was my gift then."

I smiled widely knowing that she was just younger by a year from me, but then my mood turned into that of chagrin. She just celebrated her birthday only a few days before we met! That wasn't right, I have to…do something.

"Another heads up, she hates presents."

I gaped at him shocked, "That's ridiculous! Bella deserves to be showered with gifts."

"Good luck with that. She threw a hissy fit when I gave her that scarf. But now she loves it – thanks to you. Hmmm…maybe there's hope after all."

I laughed at that, shaking my head then I downed the last of my drink and stood up. "I guess, I should be going now."

"Wait, so you're not going to press me about the reason Bella can't speak?" he asked curiously and surprisingly.

"No. I know you can't tell me and I want Bella to tell me on her own, no matter how," I said sincerely.

"Wow. You two should get married." He muttered and I was caught off guard with that one though it was clearly a joke. Still, the thought of marrying Bella…

"You sure you can manage? You did drink a bottle, thought it's just one, it's still a beer." He asked, pulling me out of my dream.

"I think I can handle it." though I had to admit, I was feeling drowsy but that was more from fatigue more than anything. I did just got back from Chicago.

He looked at me skeptically. "You could crash in one of Bella's guest rooms. I'm sure she won't mind."

The idea of spending the night here in Bella's was tempting. It would lessen the ache of being away from her considerably.

"So what do you say?"

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Yeah. Just tidy up after. Oh and, is it okay if you take care of her tomorrow… Alice told me that she wasn't going to stay long because she's flying off to LA…"

I chuckled, "Of course. I was going to even if you hadn't asked."

He nodded and we went back inside. Jasper and I went up to check on Bella first. She was sleeping soundly – er – quietly, still looking flushed from heat but peaceful. Her fever has gone down, which was a relief, but she was still hot. Seeing her sleeping made me want to lie beside her, wrap my arms around her and just watch her sleep.

Jasper broke me from my thoughts and led me to the guest room where I slept for the night.

* * *

It's been three days and Bella was already up and about. I spent all those three days with her, though of course I still drove home every night. The night Japer talked to me was the only night I spent with Bella's. I was at my place right now and I just got out of the shower when the phone rang.

Wrapping a towel on my waist, I answered the phone, "Edward Cullen speaking, how may I help you?"

"Still as polite as hell, I hear." I chuckled, it was Jasper.

"Hello Jasper, still Bella's PA, I hear."

He chuckled without humor, "Funny. Anyway, Bella has been pestering me to call you and ask if you would like to have dinner here tonight as a thank you for taking care of her."

Thank God for telephones as my smile was growing embarrassingly by the second, "I would love to, thanks. What's she making so I know what to bring?"

"Hold on a sec." _Hey Bella, what are you making? Edward wanted to know so he knows what to bring. _I heard Jasper ask Bella and of course, silence was replied back.

"Bella said it's a surprise and that she insisted that you do not bring anything."

I chuckled, "Okay, I'll just bring wine then."

He snickered, "That'll surprise her. Why don't you come over now and watch a game while Bella's cooking? Or you could help her in the kitchen…"

"Say no more, I'm there. Thanks Jasper. Oh and Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you ever go home?"I said hinting.

"Ha! Nice try, Ed. I _am _home and Bella's cooking is something I never pass up. Don't worry, you'll have your alone time. See you Ed."

Then with a click I put the phone down and walked over to my closet and put some clothes on. I smiled at the prospect of sampling Bella's cooking which I was sure would be delectable.

* * *

As usual, Jasper got the door. Seriously, this guy has to go home – his real home some time. I would gladly take his place here – wait, what am I thinking? Well, the real question was, what am I _not _thinking – certainly wasn't Bella. She's so amazing that I can't help but get caught up with imagining her in all aspects of my future. That wasn't a bad thing…it's actually…bliss…

I went into the kitchen to greet the hostess. Even with her back turned to me she was breathtaking! She was wearing a white eyelet dress with lace trimmings and a cute plain red apron and her hair was up in a messy bun. She was on her toes reaching for a certain spice on a high shelf.

Though I rushed to aid her, I couldn't help but ogle her for a bit. She was so adorably stubborn, fighting the urge to call for help. My eyes couldn't help but roam from her sultry white neck down to her slightly exposed back… the way her dress fit snugly on her hips…and her overstretching her body to reach…

I blinked trying to control myself and in one fluid motion I was behind her and took the spice from the shelf.

Completely startled, she abruptly spun to face me that she accidentally elbowed my chest. It didn't hurt as it merely pushed me but from the sudden action, on reflex to steady myself, I placed my free hand on the counter.

Looking away from the counter I turned my attention to Bella's face in attempting to tell her that it was okay before she could even as much as think about apologizing but once my eyes met her brown chocolate eyes I was lost.

Her expression was that of shock but her face was still exquisite to me. My eyes moved from her brown ones to her slightly open mouth and I stared at her luscious full lips that were painted a deep red to my delight. But I also took notice of another thing that was red… her beautiful crimson blush, was it from embarrassment of elbowing me? But then as my eyes wandered some more I finally realized that it wasn't the case.

My cheeks were burning up from embarrassment as well as I reviewed our position. Though I was still holding the spice, I used three fingers from that hand to hold on to the shelf to steady myself like I did with my other hand that was on the counter…trapping Bella between me and the counter.

My heart started going crazy.

Facing me, she was backed up in the counter, one of her hands next to mine on it and the other – brace yourself, was on my chest. My breathing picked up and from the rise and fall of her chest she was too. I brought my eyes back to hers and saw confusion and…something else in her eyes… I can't quite figure what…

I hadn't realized that I was leaning towards her never breaking eye contact. We were so close that I could smell her awesome scent again and I wanted nothing more but to bury my nose in her hair…her skin…

Then her warm breath hit me in a caress that this time I wanted nothing more but to ravish her mouth with hungry kisses that I was aching to give from day one.

I leaned closer and I saw that she closed her eyes – this was it!

I moved my hand from the counter to place it on top of hers then up her arm, then her neck, her smooth soft neck then settled to cradle her face and –

"Bella, I'm getting juice, do we still have – oops! Sorry!"

My head snapped to the direction of the voice, and saw Jasper dash back to the living room. I cursed inwardly at the missed opportunity. Damn it, when will I ever get to kiss Bella? Then I remembered that she was still trapped in our otherwise compromising position.

I faced Bella and saw that she had tilted her head away from me, her blush turning into a more intense shade and she was…frowning. From disappointment I hope?

I chuckled nervously and ran a hand on my hair then showed her the spice I was still holding. "I uh… saw you reaching for it and decided to help you." Hey, it was true.

She brought her startling brown eyes to mine again and gave a nod as she flashed me her brilliant smile then took the spice from me.

I stepped aside to give her room and she started to walk to the table and bring out a bowl of sliced tomatoes.

"Thanks for inviting me over for dinner, Bella."

She looked at me and grinned then went on to put out a few more supplies. From the looks of it, she was making pasta. I smiled, for out first date I was going to bring her to an Italian restaurant, could she have known?

"Is there anything I can do to help? I take it your making pasta?" I offered.

She shook her head as if to say that I don't need to do anything.

"Well, please? I'm too cowardly to go face Jasper and have him interrogate me." Again, that was true. Well, slightly true as I wanted to punch him for ruining possibly my first kiss with Bella.

She thought for a while then she nodded at me. She pointed to the bowl of tomatoes after washing her hands then she stuck one hand there and started squishing.

"I get it. I'll do the dirty job of squishing the tomatoes." She nodded and smiled.

I smiled back at her, it was hard not to. I rolled the sleeves of my white button down shirt and washed my hands first before I dug my hands on the bowl. The bowl of tomato mush was cold and slimy that it was starting to feel nasty. I'm very vain when it comes to my hands.

Bella walked up to me pursing her lips in disapproval. She showed me once more how to do it properly and I tried to comply but the unpleasant sensation caused me to do otherwise.

Bella sighed and stood beside me. Once her shoulder touched mine I marveled once again at the current of out proximity. I stared at her unabashedly and saw the concentration on her face. In that momentary distraction, I was completely unaware of what it was she was going to do when I felt warmth brushing on my hands that were unmoving on the bowl of mush only to realize that Bella had dipped her hands on the bowl and started squishing.

Because the bowl was small, her hands would sometimes squish mine. I swallowed hard and got back to work on the bowl but my hand moving along side hers made it worse. No, better…much, much better.

My breathing was getting heavier and shallower as her hands would graze mine or I would "accidentally" graze hers. I don't know what came over me but when my hand accidentally squeezed three of her fingers that I let it linger and finally decided on covering her entire hand, my other hand doing the same and we stopped moving. My eyes slowly rose to her face and I watched as she gently moved her head to look at me.

She looked at me with question in her eyes and my eyes searched for answers in her as well. Our breathing was staggering and my eyes kept darting to her red irresistible lips.

_If they really were irresistible, then why they were still untouched?_

Good point.

So for the second time today, I leaned down and she closed her eyes waiting for me again.

My lips were already brushing against hers when –

"You guys done yet? I'm absolutely famished! So you guys – are famished as well, I see?

I cursed in all languages that I could think of in my head. Jasper was a good guy, the best, but _damn it!_

I _hate_ Jasper Hale. I absolutely positively _loathe_ the bastard. _Damn it!_

"Shit, I really should stop doing that. Peace, dude. No blood, no foul right?" Jasper chuckled nervously.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and I heard Bella sigh.

Then I opened my eyes and saw that Bella was glaring at Jasper. That cheered me up. As long as I knew that she wanted it to happen as well, that would do…_for now._

Who would've thought reaching for spices and squeezing tomatoes could be fun.

I cringed.

Scratch that. That did _not_ come out right.

_Ah, what's happening to me?!

* * *

  
_

**AN:**

**Hello, so here's the deal for not updating sooner, half time's over and it's back to school and dorm life to finish my junior year. Only 1 and a half more year to go and I can call myself a fresh Psychology graduate but the battle is far from over as if things go well, I'm off to Med School, yeah! Anyway, there was a lot of packing involved as well as bouts of homesickness (still have it!) not to mention, the long drive and it's pretty taxing. I still have the unpacking to do and cleaning up so I might not be able to update sooner again. **

**So basically, this is a filler chapter which is quite long, considering. I just had to clarify the Jasper-Bella thing as well as give a brief background on Bella without giving away too much. :) **

**With that said, thanks for the reviews and I'm sorry if I can't reply to all of them but I really appreciate each and every review because seeing the effort that you give has me itching to fit time to update sooner. Thanks for reading!**

**Margaux**


	10. Chapter 10: The Loudest Sound

_I pinched the bridge of my nose and I heard Bella sigh._

_Then I opened my eyes and saw that Bella was glaring at Jasper. That cheered me up. As long as I knew that she wanted it to happen as well, that would do…for now._

_Who would've thought reaching for spices and squeezing tomatoes could be fun._

_I cringed._

_Scratch that. That did not come out right._

_Ah, what's happening to me?!

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 10: The Loudest Sound**

It's been three weeks since now since Bella invited me over for dinner and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. I guess it's safe to say that Bella and I were officially dating but I don't think we were on the level of commitment yet though it didn't make any difference on my part as I was fully, irrevocably committed to her and her alone. I wondered if she felt the same…

Those three weeks were nothing but bliss for me. Yet I wasn't able to spend everyday with her. She was busy, as Jasper said. I only saw her every Wednesdays and Fridays. So that made only six official dates with her – three of which were indoors as I saw how tired she was. If only I knew what it was really that kept her so preoccupied.

The dates we had were limited to only movies and dinners. I kept it that way though I had other grander things in mind because she was busy and I could sense the exhaustion from her despite her happy demeanor. Those dates we had… I was going all out to show her how I felt, being as open as I can but I was too cautious to tell her… say what I really yearned to say to her.

_Why? _

I sighed. It's because she… I can't fathom what it is she really feels. She's holding back, if I may be bold to say. I can see in her eyes that she was being cautious – restrained that I couldn't but help to think that she's hurting. I didn't know why. What could I possibly be doing that made her feel that hurt?

She was hot and cold. There were times when I would hold her that she would lean back against me and sigh in contentment but then if I as much as make a move on her like a simple kiss on her forehead, she would stiffen then casually move out from my embrace and I would see the sadness in her eyes again. I'm really confused, wasn't it that only three weeks ago we almost kissed twice? No make that thrice as I remembered the time when Alice and I found her place. She didn't seem to hesitate in all those instances. She even kissed my cheek before! Why was she suddenly cautious now?

I frowned. I thought back through the dinner when Jasper interrupted our almost kiss. Even for a millisecond, I my lips were brushing over hers so lightly like a butterfly's wings yet it was enough to send shivers down my body and let the fire blaze into me. Sure it was awkward after but we both just laughed it off and the rest of the night went well. It was only on our official first date that I noticed her caution – her evasiveness… her inner struggle.

Then I remembered the look she gave me on our last date when I finally got to kiss her. I sighed and closed my eyes, skimming the ivory keys of my piano lazily.

_There we were, standing in front of her door on her porch. _

"_So, I'll see you on Friday?" I asked eagerly._

_She turned to look at me and gave me a wide beautiful smile of hers and nodded._

_I smiled crookedly at her and our eyes were locked in a silent conversation as always. She was so beautiful - inside and out._

_I knew we only had seconds left before I turn around and drive home but I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with her even to just stay here and hold her and never let go. I wanted to be the one to watch her sleep. I wanted to be the one she sees when she wakes up. I wanted to be in every part of her life as much as she was already a part of mine. _

_Looking at her gazing back at me with her beautiful smile and startling eyes that were so loving despite having sadness in them, I wanted her to be mine._

_I don't want to just go out with her on dates or just settle for being a friend. I don't even find satisfaction in just merely being her boyfriend if that's what I even was at the moment. I wanted to be the one to watch her sleep at night, me being the one she sees before she slept. I wanted to be the one she sees whenever she wakes up. I wanted her to know I was hers._

_I wanted more._

_I wanted more of her._

_I wanted more of _us.

_I stepped in closer to her not taking my eyes off her. She didn't step back but there was caution in her eyes. I'm sorry but I couldn't handle it anymore. I placed a hand on her arm and she shivered in my touch but her eyes never faltered. I placed my other hand on the side of her face and my thumb rubbed her cheek and she closed her eyes to get a better feel of it. Her hand went up to cover my hand on her face and her she placed gently on my chest. My heart was beating fast now and my breath came in heavy heaves. She opened her eyes in shock as her hand felt the hammering in my chest and her breathing quickened as well._

_I saw her eyes soften and she looked at me with such an intensity that could burn the coldest eyes. Was that an invitation? Slowly, my mouth parted and my eyes shifted to hers and found that they were parted as well. I looked back into her eyes to seek permission and I waited for her to close her eyes like before and wait until our lips would finally meet. I saw her eyes slowly closing that I smiled and didn't wait anymore as her breath caressed my face. I leant down and my lips were only an inch from hers when I saw that she had opened her eyes suddenly._

_Something was wrong._

_So I pulled back and was shocked from the emotion I saw in her eyes. _

_There was fear._

_My eyebrows furrowed in question. What are you afraid of? Were we going to fast? What's wrong?_

_She blinked and frowned as she looked at me with apology and dismay. Then I saw that there was wetness brimming from her lids, threatening to pour. _

_I cradled her face with both my hands. "What's wrong, love?" Oh no. That slipped. Her eyes grew wide at hearing that. She shook her head but I saw that she was blushing._

_I cleared my throat, "You're sad. Please tell me what's wrong?"_

_She looked up at me and forced a small smile then shook her head._

"_Bella…" I said pleadingly._

_She sighed and shook her head still. Fine, I'll let it drop now but she would have to explain this to me somehow. _

"_Okay. You must be exhausted. I'll take my leave now. Goodnight Bella. Sleep well." then I turned around and started towards my car when my arm was yanked. Bella was probably going to apologize again knowing she upset me._

_I turned around to face her, "Listen Bella, its okay you don't have to say anything you don't want to – _

_I got cut off._

_I got cut off with her soft mouth on mine and I didn't think about what I was doing next. I just simply wrapped an arm on her waist pulling her closer to me and let my other hand rest on her neck as I kissed her back. Her kisses were eager and I replied with the same eagerness. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and then she started playing with my hair. _

_I pulled her closer to me, relishing in the feel of her small warm body pressed up to mine. We kissed for a long time but then I froze._

_I froze when my hand caressed her face and felt hot liquid – tears._

_I pulled back and looked at her and she had her face turned away from me though both my hands were on the sides of it. I stared at her aghast as I saw that she was indeed crying. Normally, one would be endeared by this as they could be happy tears but would someone crying from happiness look away?_

"_Bella, why are you crying?" I asked softly._

_She looked at me pained and my heart ached at the memory. _

"_Bella, please."_

_She took a deep breath and smiled at me then shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it. What was that then? That amazing kiss we shared? Was it just a show for me to just so my feelings won't get hurt that she kissed me? But remembering the kiss, she wanted it. Then I remembered, they were too urgent, as if she was convincing herself. I don't understand this. _

_I can't let this go but I heard Jasper's car pulling out the driveway. This conversation had to wait._

"_So, I'll still see you on Friday, right Bella?"_

_She looked at me then gave a small nod._

_I forced a smile at her, kissed her cheek then walked to my car passing Jasper whom I bid goodbye as well._

Opening my eyes I looked up the ceiling. I sighed. That was the most amazing experience I ever had, kissing Bella. I kissed her passionately, showing her how much she meant to me but her kisses were conflicting like she was afraid that something might happen. Today I would know for sure what's troubling her. It was killing me, not knowing what's going on in her mind. It's bad enough that she communicates with me using gestures and expressions only.

With one last deep breath, I stood up, grabbed my coat and made my way to pick Bella up. Today we could finally spend the whole day together and she promised she won't be that busy anymore.

…

* * *

When I got to her house, she was waiting on her porch. As always, she was breathtaking. Under her favorite white trench coat, I saw that she wore a deep blue dress that made her skin look like cream and roses. Her long mahogany hair was down and cascaded into waves on her back.

I saw her smile, no trace of awkwardness in her eyes when she saw me approach. Not waiting for me, she walked towards the driveway just as I had parked and stood in front of the passenger seat. I opened her door for her and she got in.

She was blushing and smiling. She was in a cheerful mood today. Normally, my heart would sputter at that and revel in joy but her cheerful mood was…patronizing.

She looked at me with confusion in her eyes and caution again.

"You seem to be in a good mood."

She sighed but smiled widely at me then pointed outside towards the direction of the sun. Oh, I get it. She was happy that we finally had a whole day together.

As much as I wanted to ask right away about our last meeting, her good mood and bright smile was too irresistible and it felt almost a sin to dampen the day.

…

* * *

We spent almost the whole day driving around the city looking for, don't laugh, sampling ice cream. We were in a coffee shop when she read an article about ice cream. So I had an idea that we should go around and try different kinds of ice cream around the city. We had nothing to do so we might as well. I didn't want to watch another movie. I smiled as I watched Bella's joy. So little things made her happy!

We were walking now near my apartment that I parked my car there and we went to Central Park yet again just for a walk.

We were walking side by side and when her shoulder brushed with mine, I longed for more contact. I glanced down at her and saw her shiver. It was starting to feel gusty. So I took her hand in mine and rubbed it. She didn't pull back, which made me glad. I even saw a hint of a smile and of course, her lovely blush. So we stayed that way, walking like that in silence.

Then I heard music, and so did she. A small blond girl was playing Pachelbel's Canon in D. Bella looked at me with a request in her lovely deep brown doe eyes and I nodded. We stopped walking to watch the girl. She looked like she was twelve and she was good. She saw us watching her and she smiled at us.

When she was done, Bella made a motion to clap but then we both realized that our hands were still interlaced. We chuckled then let go to applaud out little entertainer.

"That was very good." I commented and Bella nodded in approval. The girl grinned.

"Thanks. I've been practicing that for a long time!" she said.

"Pachelbel?" I asked.

She nodded, "Do you play as well?"

I didn't want to admit it but I did study violin as well. I didn't want to show off, wait, I wanted to show off a little to Bella but I don't know…so I just smiled in response.

Bella looked at me with awe and curiosity.

"Will you play?" the girl asked, handing me her violin.

"Well…" I hesitated, then I looked at Bella and she smiled at me, her eyes sparkling.

"Well?" the girl prompted.

"Ok." I took the violin from her and sighed but one look at Bella's smile had me automatically playing a tune that was going on an on my head whenever I think of Bella.

My eyes were closed the whole time I played and I gave it my all because this song was for her and only her – Bella.

When I was done I was greeted with applause.

"Wow, I don't recognize that melody but I'm guessing you composed that," the blond girl commented but I merely nodded at her as my eyes were fixed on Bella.

The look on her face was glorious and heart warming. Her eyes were closed and there were tears in them and a small sigh escaped from her lips. Her hands were clasped together. I blushed, embarrassed yet pleased all the same because I knew she liked it. She opened her eyes and grinned at me. I must've looked like an idiot because I was smiling like one with the same crooked smile that I always seem to give only to her. I wonder what she must think of that.

I handed the violin back to the girl and thanked her as she left and I made my way over to Bella and wiped the tears from her eyes.

She blushed but continued to smile at me in awe causing my own cheeks to flare up.

"So, um, did you like it?" I asked, breaking the silence.

She nodded earnestly and my smile grew wider.

"Really? It's just a draft… I know it needs more work…"

She cut me off again by placing both her hands on my face and making me face her.

When she was sure my eyes were locked with hers. Her eyes were serious and held intensity in them. Shook her head slowly then smiled at me, as if telling me not to doubt myself. I smiled back at her and she grinned.

Then she removed her hands on my face but before I could protest, she took hold of my hand and started towing me.

I smiled wider at her and looked at her softly. She was really amazing. So we started our walk again.

_Side by side in silence they pass away the day  
so comfortable, so habitual...and so nothing left to say  
nothing left to say  
nothing left to say_

It was the best walk I have ever been on. It was just simple. We were just walking, enjoying the scenery, watching people… just enjoying each other's presence.

_Side by side in silence his thoughts echo round_

_He looks up at the sky...she looks down at the ground  
Stares down at the ground  
Stares down at the ground_

Her silence didn't bother me, not at all. Though of course it would be very helpful if I could know exactly what is what she wanted and I'd give it to her in a heartbeat. Also… I also wanted to know her… really know her. It wasn't as if Jasper wasn't helpful, telling me things about Bella and relaying messages. I just wished that… she'd open up to me more. I knew she was hiding things from me, and I didn't want to upset her by asking what that was, but I knew whatever those things were, they upset her. What is it does she want from me? How does she see me? What am I to her?

_Side by side in silence they wish for different worlds  
She dreams him as a boy...he loves her as a girl  
Loves her as a girl..._

There was no doubt about what I felt for her and I knew that she had feelings for me, I've seen it in the way she looks at me and how she would touch me but I wondered about the depths of those feelings. Why was she so guarded? Why was she so afraid of me? Was it really me or was she afraid of us? I didn't get it.

I love her. That's the truth. But I was as silent with her in saying that. Too many times that I wanted to say it out loud to her but her hesitation with my gestures refrained me. I was too scared to let go of what we already had. What if this was the only thing she wanted? What if I told her I wanted more that she would shut me out? But I knew that she knew I loved her. Though I didn't say it, I let her feel it.

_And side by side in silence without a single word...  
It's the loudest sound  
It's the loudest sound...  
It's loudest sound I ever heard_

…..

* * *

It was getting darker and it had started raining. It was a good thing I had an umbrella in my bag. So I retrieved it and held it over to us. The wind started to pick up and a sharp flash came out in a distance followed by a loud crashing sound. There was something ominous about the weather and I immediately glanced down at Bella.

I gasped at what I saw. Bella was ghostly pale, paler than usual. It was like all the blood on her face was drained but that wasn't what I found alarming. No, there were no adjectives appropriate enough to describe her. She was terrified.

I squeezed her hand, "Bella?" I asked softly but worry coated my voice.

She didn't flinch but she started to shiver and I doubt it was from the cold.

Her eyes were wide in shock and alarm and her mouth hung agape. What was she so afraid of? I wanted to release her hand and put my arm around her instead but when I tried she only grasped my hand tighter and looked at me with scared eyes.

"_Bella!" _I yelped in shock and nervousness at her action. I looked around us frantically, searching for any sign of danger that could cause her fright but I saw nothing but rain and people scrambling to find shelter. Then another flash followed immediately by booming thunder came and I was shaken when Bella jumped and covered her ears.

I immediately wrapped my arms around her, dropping the umbrella not caring that the wind swept it away. All I cared about was having my Bella safe and secure.

Another flash tore the sky and the earth shook from crashing sound and Bella jumped again and was now shaking in terror in my arms. And it dawned on me; _she was frightened of thunder and lightning._

I moved my hands to her face making her look at me but she refused to open her eyes.

"Bella, love, its okay, I'm here." I tried to soothe her so we could leave.

She sniffled and I saw her mouth tremble as tears streamed down her face. I was panicking already. I did not expect this! Had I known she was scared, I would not have left my car or bring her here when I knew that there was a chance it would rain. _Stupid. I was such an idiot._

"Come on Bella, let's get out of here." I tried to move her but she wouldn't budge.

"Please Bella, _please?" _I begged for her to move so we could get away and so I wouldn't have to watch her like this. My heart was breaking watching her suffer like this.

Then I had an idea.

"Bella, sweetheart, do you trust me?" I almost shouted amidst the downpour. No answer.

"Bella?" I tried again. And I felt her give a small nod. I sighed in relief and kissed her hair, thankful that I had gotten a response from her. In one swift motion, I carried her trembling body, crouching over her to shield her from the rain as much as I can and ran as fast as I can to my apartment, thankful once more that I lived not far from the park. She didn't object.

I asked her if she trusted me because I was going to take her to my place and that would've implied a lot of meanings but this was hardly the case. When I reached the building I set her down carefully and was again relieved that she made a motion to walk and follow me – not that I mind carrying her but I knew she would feel embarrassed.

When we reached the elevator, I carried her once more and again, I was met with no objection. She must really be terrified. She wasn't being stubborn right now.

I carried her into my unit and set her down on my arm chair, not caring if it got soaked. She was drenched and she was still shivering and in shock. She would get sick if I didn't get her out of her clothes.

I swallowed hard and knelt in front of her then took her hands and held them in mine.

"Bella," I said softly and she looked at me, her eyes still scared that my heart was shattering.

"Bella, I… need you to trust me again."

She blinked.

I blushed, "Please trust me. I don't have any intention of making you feel any level of discomfort but I have to get you out of your wet clothes or you'll get sick," I explained gently.

"Do you trust me?"

She looked at me and gave a nod. I smiled at her then stood up.

"Wait here." I went into my closet and took out a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of khaki shorts then took a white big towel as well and went back to Bella. She seems to have calmed down a bit.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. I think she was calm enough to do this herself which was good because I don't think I could do it.

She looked up at me and saw the pile of clothes.

"I'm sorry that you have to wear my clothes but these are all I got and you really need to get out of your soaked clothes. The bathroom's over there, you could take a hot shower if you wish."

She looked at me still shocked then her eyes softened and she slowly stood up, still trembling and tried to take the pile of clothes from me. I frowned at her shaking hands and stopped them, holding them instead while I shifted the clothes to one arm and led her to the bathroom then she closed the door.

"Call me if you need anything." I said through the door then I took my coat and shirt off as well, grabbing a towel and drying my hair.

Then the bathroom door opened and I saw Bella's head peeking out.

"Something wrong, Bella?" I asked concerned.

She looked down and blushed when she saw me but then with her hand asked me to get inside. My cheeks heated up but I complied and I frowned when I saw that she was still wearing her wet clothes, her coat included.

"Why are you still in your wet clothes?"

She bit her lip and sunk down the toilet, wherein the lid was closed and showed me the problem, not once looking at me.

She started to fidget with the button of her coat and I gulped.

"W-what are you doing?" I almost asked when I noticed that her hands were still shaking and clearly she could not undo her buttons. I swallowed once more at what she was asking me to do as she looked into my eyes, embarrassed by completely trusting.

I stood in front of her and nervously touched the button she was undoing and looking into her eyes to see if I got the message right. She nodded. I could see that she was still shaken up.

Taking a deep breath, I started undoing her buttons, my own hands shaking as well. Doing this to her… even from necessity was like touching something so pure… so innocent that I felt like I was sinning. How many times have I imagined doing this, touching her, showing her how much I loved her but it wasn't right, it wasn't the right moment. Everything had to be perfect for her.

At first I started slowly, because of my nerves but I realized I should hurry as I know she was freezing. I knew I was. So I finished unbuttoning her coat and once in a while I would glance at her and would see complete trust in her eyes.

I stood up and ushered her to stand as well and she obeyed then I went behind her and gently pulled the coat from her and saw that her blue dress was drenched and I forgot she was wearing boots so I took them off next making her sit again. When Jasper talked about her, she was someone who needed looking after. Someone so fragile but someone who wanted to prove she didn't need to be taken care of.

When I first saw her, I saw that same fragile quality over her and a compelling need to protect her rose in me. Yet I have always seen her selfless courage and determination and desire to be the one who takes care of people, not be doted upon. She was stubborn and had great inner strength but looking at her now, she was vulnerable.

Now the only thing that remained wet was her dress…and what she wore underneath.

"Bella, do you think you…can manage?"

She looked at me with gratitude and embarrassment but she sat still as a statue. Then she stood up shakily and slowly and turned her back to me.

I thought that that was a yes so I started for the door when she put a still shaky hand on my arm.

I swallowed again; I was very much hesitant to help her out off her dress. Not that I didn't think she wouldn't be worth to look at, on the contrary, there was a desire for that but not this way. Esme and Carlisle did not raise me like that.

She turned around and pointed to a zipper on her back. Oh so that was all… surely I could handle that…I hope…

So I touched the zipper and shakily pulled it down gently and sucked in my breath when I caught a glimpse of her lustrous skin…and lace… I looked away blushing and continued my task not looking at her and when I was done I immediately went out the bathroom and took deep breaths.

I waited for a while and once I was sure she didn't need me, I went into my closet and changed my clothes gathering my wet ones to put in the washer.

I knocked on the bathroom door and Bella went out wearing my clothes… which elicited… desire from me but I shrugged it off immediately.

"Are you feeling better?"

She nodded at me weakly and gave a small smile but I could see she was still dazed.

"Why don't you go into the living room and make yourself comfortable. I'll put your wet clothes in the dryer." I smiled at her warmly.

She smiled at me again and she reached out and squeezed my hand while she looked at me with nothing but gratitude in her eyes.

I kissed her head then went to retrieve her wet belongings. When I put her clothes in the dryer, my cheeks heated up as I saw lace once again. Closing my eyes I dropped them delicately in the dryer and made my way over to Bella. She was sitting on the edge of the couch this time, eyeing the soaked armchair guiltily.

I went to sit beside her. Startled, she looked at me then she blushed and averted her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

No sooner that those words came out when a loud bang came from outside, the storm was brewing awfully quick and in an instant Bella flung herself to me. She curled her small body like a ball against me so I scooted over to give her more room. She hid her face on my chest, clutching at my shirt, trembling once again.

I wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on her head while rubbing her back to soothe her. "Don't be afraid. I'm here. I won't leave you. It's okay. You're safe with me." I said comforting her.

This must be what Jasper was telling me about… the consequences that he mentioned… I was sure of it.

I just held her to me, rocking her gently until she calmed down. After an hour, her breathing started to even out and I knew she had fallen asleep.

I carried her into my bedroom and tucked her in my bed. I would have to call Jasper and tell him about this, surely he trusted me as well. I would never take advantage of Bella.

I sighed in relief to see Bella sleeping peacefully. I brushed a strand of her off her face and kissed her forehead then I sat up from the bed but she grabbed my arm.

I looked back at her and saw that she was awake but exhaustion was evident.

"Go to sleep, you need to rest." I said then I started to walk away but she didn't let go of my arm. Surely she wasn't suggesting that I…

She gave a weak tug at my arm and attempted to shift her body to make room… for me?

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

She nodded and I saw the pleading in her eyes that I automatically laid beside her, leaving an ample amount of distance between us. My heart was pounding at this and I almost had a heart attack when she moved closer to me and rested her head on my chest, closing her eyes, trusting me completely.

Slowly and gently, I placed an arm around her looking at her reaction, ready to pull away at once when if she didn't want to but her reaction surprised me as she always did because she snuggled closer to me and wrapped her arm around my waist as well.

My heart soared and I couldn't help but smile. I reveled in the way her body fit to mine as if she were designed to be. She trusted me. She felt safe with me.

I closed my eyes as I pulled her tighter to me and inhaled her scent, feeling utterly in bliss right now. If only I knew how she truly felt for me, I would give her the world and love her every second of everyday and wouldn't make her forget that.

If only I knew if she loved me as well.

I opened my eyes and was dazzled when I saw that she was watching me, her lips curved up in a content smile. I could only gaze at her when I looked into her eyes and saw for once, without hesitation of how she saw me. In her eyes, there was no doubt, in her deep brown eyes that she mirrored my own reflection in her eyes that there was love.

Without saying anything, this was the purest form of expressing love that I have ever seen or experienced.

It didn't need to be said in bold grand gestures.

It didn't need to be said in out loud.

It didn't need to be said at all.

In this silence, it is the loudest sound.

I can't wait anymore. I've made up my mind. I know I can't live without her and that I know that it's her I want to see every waking moment in my life. I smiled at Bella and she smiled back at me, softly, the softest and sincerest smile I've ever seen her give me.

With that smile, I knew what I needed to do.

She sighed wistfully as if knowing what I was thinking then she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come.

I smiled wider.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask Isabella Marie Swan to marry me.

_And side by side in silence without a single word...  
It's the loudest sound  
It's the loudest sound...  
It's loudest sound I ever heard

* * *

  
_

**AN:Next Chapter, Edward will finally know WHY Bella can't speak. And the chapter that follows will be in Bella's POV. Just a little incentive for you guys to review. :)  
**

** Thanks for the awesome reviews! I received a lot of love and I couldn't wait much longer to type up this chapter! ****It's a very long chapter and I worked really hard on this so please, please review. It's only fair! Hehe. ****See? I write a whole lot faster and not too mention, longer when I get a lot of reviews! **

**A hundred plus readers have this story on alert and it would be very nice to hear from you guys. I already have a rough draft for the next chapter and I promise to finish typing it and upload it tomorrow if I get at least ****30 or more reviews (reaching 200 would be lovely but I understand if that won't happen).**** I'm not being greedy but this story is really not the number one thing that I should be doing so I'm merely requesting a little of your time to leave a few kind words or critique if you wish as I have invested a lot of my time here as well. But no pressure, it's fine if I don't. **

**The song here is "The Loudest Sound" by The Cure. I honestly didn't know about this song until I looked it up, hoping to get lucky and I did! **

**Until next time then,**

**Margaux**


	11. Chapter 11: Ask

_Without saying anything, this was the purest form of expressing love that I have ever seen or experienced._

_It didn't need to be said in bold grand gestures._

_It didn't need to be said out loud._

_It didn't need to be said at all._

_In this silence, it is the loudest sound.

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 11: Ask**

I woke up at the feel of warmth then squinted at the bright rays of sun streaming from my window. It was morning again and I hadn't realized what time I fell asleep. Then I felt something was amiss. I patted the space beside me and saw that it was vacant. I sat upright at once in panic. _Where was Bella?_

Then I heard someone walking in my living room and I also smelled the coffee that was brewing. Getting off my bed I walked quietly to the living room. I was about to say Bella's name but I was curious to what I found her doing.

She was standing over my piano, opening the sliding cover to reveal the ebony and ivory keys gently, careful to remain quiet. She eyed the keys appraising it then with her elegant fingers; she skimmed the white keys, stroking them in a straight direction, the keys singing for her under her fingers that it felt like she was caressing it.

I saw one of the corners of her mouth quirk upward, she was delighted. I marveled at how she once again delicately stroked the keys, backwards this time, making them sing once more. My mouth hung at how… alluring I found it. Her touch was so gentle I wish I were the piano this moment.

Then my heart raced as I saw her sit down on the piano bench and stared at the keys almost indulgently. Was she going to play? From her attitude towards the instrument, I could tell she was. And she did.

Taking a deep breath, she positioned her fingers over the keys then started playing. I just stared at her with wide eyes and watched her play. The melody she was playing was unfamiliar to me yet strangely, it felt familiar in its context. Her music was phenomenal. It was beautiful, it was sweet, it was raw, and it was pure. But something captivated me much more than her music did. It was how she played it.

She played as if she worshiped the instrument. Her delicate fingers touching each key with the most gentle touch that it felt like she was again, caressing them with such precision as if knowing just where it pleases the piano that rewarded her with enchanting tone and clarity. It was as if she understood the piano and worked with it, not at it.

Then her face, God, her face… her eyes were half-closed, her mouth slightly open and her body swayed in tune with the music. She played with such raw emotion, so in tune with her song that it takes over you, going deep under your skin, penetrating through your bones until it reaches your core.

I closed my eyes to savor the music that filled my abode. I didn't want to sound shallow but I knew this song was for me because it felt familiar, it felt right.

I opened my eyes and I couldn't help but walk over to her as if she was playing the part of the Pied Piper, charming me, luring me to her.

This must be what Jasper said that she made a fortune through a talent of hers. No one could resist listening to her playing.

As her song ended, I saw her smile and sigh in exhilaration. Then she stood up and looked shocked and embarrassed when she saw me behind her.

I watched her blush and I kissed her head. "I didn't know you could play."

She just smiled and looked down.

"You composed that didn't you, Bella?"

She nodded, blushing harder.

I smiled at her and kissed her hair, "You're extremely good. I feel so inferior next to you!"

She then looked up at me with eyes wide as she shook her head rigorously as if I told her the blackest of all lies.

I chuckled. She was so humble.

I looked into her eyes and said, "Why did you leave me? I woke up and you weren't there in my arms?"

She smiled shyly and walked to the kitchen. I followed her, reaching for her hand and she let go briefly to get me coffee. She was so sweet. I don't deserve her.

"You left me, just for coffee?" I said in a light mocking tone.

She rolled her eyes playfully then she blushed once more. Hm, curious.

Then she pointed shyly at the end of the kitchen counter and my heart melted at what I saw resting on the counter.

It was a tray containing a plate of golden brown pancakes and bacon. She prepared breakfast in bed for me… I was so touched by her gesture…she was so… perfect.

She made a move to get the tray but I beat her to it much to her protesting eyes. I grinned at her, took the tray and placed it on the table and I stared at it. I knew she was waiting for me to taste it but I was too moved to touch it. She made this specially for me. My heart felt weirdly heavy and light at the same time.

I didn't know that I was staring at the food for a long time when I saw her frown in my peripheral vision. I looked up at her and saw the hurt in her face, the disappointment that I wanted to kill myself for letting her feel that I had rejected her gesture. She frowned and touched the tray to perhaps clear the table but I stopped her by holding that hand and looking into her eyes mustering all the gratitude that I felt in my look.

"You… you shouldn't have… Thank you, thank you very much Bella." I said in my sincerest voice.

She brightened up and I saw the smile grow in her face, brightening up the room some more.

"What about you? Have you eaten?" I felt so selfish.

She paused then nodded, biting her lip. She wasn't a good liar. Taking advantage of her averted gaze, I pulled her into my lap to which she glared up at me in surprise.

"Will you share this with me please, Bella?" I said, unleashing the full force of my eyes on her.

Her glare faded into that of amusement then she nodded.

I sliced a big portion of the waffle and made to feed it to her but she shut her mouth tight and shook her head then pointed at me as she smirked as if to say, no, no, you should try it first.

I chuckled and complied. I ate the portion and smiled satisfied with the delicious taste and knew she made it from her heart.

She watched me anxiously awaiting my verdict.

I smiled at her, "Mmm. This is so good. You make the best waffles in the world."

She blushed but eyed me doubtfully.

"It's true. Here." I sliced again and made to feed her again. She opened her mouth compliantly, giggling silently as she chewed and she smiled nodding.

"See, it's really good. You should make me breakfast more often." Okay, I thought that was casual and light but her reaction was unexpected again. I didn't mean for it to sound too forward though I wanted nothing more than to wake up to this each and everyday.

She stiffened then forced a smile and made to get off my lap but I held her there.

"What's wrong? Where are you going?"

She pointed to the coffee pot but I wasn't buying it but I let her go anyway. She was being evasive again that I sighed.

I watched her as she poured coffee for herself, a crease noticeable on her forehead.

"Bella, thank you for trusting me yesterday."

That caught her off guard but I got what I wanted from her. Her eyes softened and the lines disappeared as she smiled lovingly at me again filled with gratitude.

I made my way to her, smiling. She stood there waiting. I brought my hands to her face and neck and she closed her eyes and sighed softly.

I could get used to this everyday. I _wanted _this _everyday. _

I leaned down and kissed her, showing her once more how much I adored her, kissing her nose first, then each of her closed eyes, each of her cheeks, her jaw and finally her lips and I felt her arms encircle my neck as she kissed me back.

I pulled away, smiling that she allowed this to happen, not being evasive this time. I had to take this opportunity before she goes back to the sullen mood.

"You are the most amazing woman I have ever met." I said and began trailing butterfly kisses all over her face. "You are so beautiful, kind, compassionate, smart, charming, loving, generous, talented and so selfless," I said in between kisses.

She blushed and looked at me like she did last night – filled with love.

"Bella Swan, I know that this isn't the perfect moment," I started. What was I doing? My emotions were running the ship. But I didn't care. I would do this properly again some time but right now I needed to do this.

She looked at me with confused eyes, I just smiled back.

"I've known you for a short period in time but I can't see my future without you. I want you. I need you in every facet of my life. I cannot live without you. You are my life, my everything. With just the simplest of looks… the miniscule touches you've captured me and I'm yours to command.

"What I'm saying is Bella, I love you." there I finally said it out loud. I watched as her eyes grew wide and saw tears forming in her eyes.

Then slowly, I knelt down in front of her and watched as her eyes grew even wider knowing with that perceptive mind of hers what I was about to do. I knew it was selfish to take this moment to ask her this important question but I couldn't wait any longer. She is the one.

"I love you and have loved you ever since the first time I saw you. I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

Tears were streaming down her face again and she clasped her mouth with her hand.

I looked deep in her eyes and smiled lovingly at her.

"I promise I will do this properly and more formally as soon as possible but please allow me to be selfish just for this moment."

I gauged her reaction and she just watched me.

"Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

I waited anxiously for her answer but she just stood there looking at me, crying. I stood up to level with her and cupped her face and asked again.

"I love you; please tell me you feel the same way too."

Then I waited patiently as she brought her teary eyes to meet mine and saw her smile and I smiled with her knowing that was a good sign.

But then.

Then.

I saw her mouth move. She opened them then closed them and opened them again as if to say something then settled to keep it shut tight and I saw pure horror and extreme pain in her eyes as if she had made a terrible realization and tears streamed her face once again.

I stared at her, not knowing what brought this on. Was I too forward? Did I cross the boundary? I was mortified. This was not how I imagined it.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I… I guess that was too fast. I'm…I'm…"

She shook her head vigorously and pleading at me and I never felt as helpless.

I cupped her face as once more but she flinched from my touch. I felt like someone was burning my heart and tied ten trucks at the strings all pulling in different directions.

"Bella, what's wrong? Was I wrong? Oh God, I'm sorry –

She shook her head again then wrenched her hand away from mine and I felt the emptiness in them at once.

I reached for her again but she kept shrugging me off.

"Bella…please…" I begged. I would beg all day and all night on my knees.

With an anguished look, she turned her back to me and started walking away.

No.

No, this cannot be happening!

I grabbed her arm and she flinched.

"Please, don't go," I pleaded; I swear tears of my own were forming.

She kept pulling away from me but I couldn't let go of her. I couldn't, I just couldn't.

Then she winced and I knew that my grasp was too tight and I cursed myself for causing her pain and I let her go.

Then I heard a knock on the door. It was probably Jasper coming to pick Bella up.

But I didn't care. How could this happen? Why was this happening? It was only a few minutes ago that we were so happy and now this…

Bella almost ran to the door with me close behind her then she almost tripped when I held her waist just in time but again she started to wrench herself away from me again.

"Bella, I love you, I'm sorry, please, please, don't go." I pleaded desperately once more.

"Hello? What's going on? Let me in." Jasper demanded from outside.

Bella managed to get away from me and opened the door frantically and even ran past Jasper who looked shocked and angry taking in Bella's form.

I didn't care that he shot me a glare threatening to kill as I made my way to run after Bella but he blocked me.

"Jasper let me through. I don't want to fight you. I have to catch Bella!" I said through gritted teeth. He held his ground.

"She obviously doesn't want you to, Edward. I don't know what the fuck you did but if I find that you hurt her I will kill you, Cullen. I don't care if Bella would hate me or even if Alice does but I will kill you so help me."

"I would _never _hurt her, Jasper. You know that now let me go."

"No."

"Please, Jasper? It's not what you think. I… asked her to marry me… but she… just please let me through." I pleaded desperately to this man and saw a change in his mood.

Then he sighed. "Let me calm her down first. It's not wise to talk to her right now Edward. Let her go for now. I'll take care of her."

I hung my head in defeat and I watched as Jasper ran down to follow Bella.

I sunk down on the floor and cursed punching the floor several times that my hands were bruised and cut.

_Damn it. Fuck. What the hell just happened?

* * *

  
_

…

It's been a week since I last talked to Bella. Several times I went to her house only to find Jasper barring the door not letting me in. Alice quickly went to stay with me and promised that Emmett was coming soon.

I tried calling Bella but it was always Jasper who answered, telling me the same thing:

"I'm sorry Edward but Bella's not telling me anything as well. The only thing she did tell me was that she doesn't want to see you again. I'm truly sorry."

She didn't want to see me again.

I couldn't gauge how much that hurt me. I felt so dead.

Then the following day I got a call.

"I'll get it," Alice said.

I nodded, burying my face in my hands. I was so pathetic.

After the call has ended, Alice sat down beside me and patted my back to call my attention. I looked forlornly at her and she looked at me with sympathy and concern.

"Who was that?"

"That was Jasper."

My attention was hyper alert now. I looked at my sister hoping.

"He said that Bella was in Arizona with her mother for the weekend. Nothing's changed with her."

I looked down.

"Oh." Was all I could muster?

"Edward…" Alice said gently.

I looked at her.

"There's something… I wanted… _we _wanted to tell you." she started, almost sounding guilty.

I waited for her to continue.

"Jasper called me to say that if you wanted to, we should go to his house. There's something we need to tell you."

I knew she knew but I never pried. So now that they were finally going to tell me something, I nodded at her then rose to get my coat and keys.

She took the keys from me. "I'll drive."

I sighed and let her. I knew I was too messed up.

* * *

…

Inside Jasper's house, it was only him that was home. He made us sit in the dining room and gave us coffee. Then someone opened the door and walked into the kitchen.

The person was a statuesque blond with violet eyes that held the same attractive features as Jasper and I knew she was Rosalie.

"Edward, this is my sister, Rosalie. Rose, this is Edward, and of course, you know Alice."

I stood up and shook her hand politely and she appraised me.

"Dark hair and from Chicago… ah, a Cullen. I can see the resemblance." She said and I wondered where that came from.

Then another person walked into the room and my jaw dropped to see who it was.

"Hello, all!"

"_Emmett? _What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

"What? I can't visit my girlfriend?" he asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He must mean Rosalie. Now I get her comment.

"How come I didn't know this?" I muttered.

"You never asked." Emmett said nonchalantly.

"Anyway, Edward, I think it's time you knew what happened to Bella," Jasper interrupted. And immediately everyone took their seats on the table.

"Though it probably won't explain why she rejected you, you need to know why she can't talk. She owes you at least that."

I just looked at him.

He looked at Rosalie, "Rose, can you please tell Edward what happened in the woods? You have a better memory of that than I do. And it's too painful for me to share…'

Rosalie nodded and looked at me, "Jasper told me that you knew parts of what happened in the woods. I was able to go home earlier with my dad as my dance lessons got cancelled so I was able to see what happened but before that, you need to know that Bella can't speak.

"She could cry when she was a baby but when the time came for the age expected for speech development, she couldn't talk. Doctors said that she just probably had a delayed speech disorder that was amendable through therapy as they saw nothing wrong with her vocal chords. So they started her with that. She was somehow making progress when she was four, being able to say her mother's name once in a while but it was rare. It was like she could only talk once a month and every time she did, she felt pain. Again, doctors saw nothing.

"Then that time at the woods, me and my dad knew that something was wrong and we heard a loud frantic scream from the direction of the woods. The screaming was heavy and laborious and kept diminishing in volume but increasing in strain and there we saw Bella screaming, choking out blood and clutching Jasper, scared like hell.

"When she saw us, it took a lot to calm her and when we finally did, we heard the last words that she said, 'Help. Love you' then she passed out.

"Then the doctors found something at last, they saw something they failed to see. They didn't see the scratch on her vocal chords. The small miniscule scratch she obtained from birth that stretched and grew from each word that she spoke. And because of her screaming, it damaged it severely. Many times we sought of ways to repair them but we failed and maybe she got too tired of hoping that she shut her door to that possibility. Refusing to even as much as look at the new techniques developed to repair her voice.

"And ever since then, she has accepted her condition. She communicates using sign language that me, Jasper, my dad and her parents learned but only when necessary. That's why you never saw her use it at all. She's good at letting herself be understood. It's only now that she's not…"

Now I understood why Bella couldn't speak. But there was hope and she was being stubborn, closing that door. And I understood why she never told me.

Because she felt that I might hold on to that hope as well that she would regain her voice and she didn't want to make us feel like we're fighting for a lost cause. She didn't want to fail us when nothing works. I knew and I also knew that everyone understood that as well that she wanted to be accepted as whom she was and not yearning for what people hope for her to be and that is to live enjoying the privilege of being able to speak.

Of course everyone has accepted her for who she was, who she is. Only, no one was sure if she herself really accepted herself. Knowing Bella, she put others before herself. She would gladly put on this façade than hurt us more but we all saw through her. We knew she was suffering. But she would never admit it.

"She knows that we accept her right?" I asked.

"Yes, she does but we fear she doesn't accept herself really," Jasper stated.

"That's what I figured."

"But it goes doubly for you, Edward," Rosalie said softly.

"Me?"

"Yes," Jasper agreed. "She values your opinion more than anything. She values how you see her. She was testing you… to see if you fell for her because of her even without knowing the real reason for her silence."

"But… that was exactly what happened… I never questioned her silence…"

"Yet you told her that you would make her speak to you," Jasper replied quickly.

He was right. I was so foolish. "But I never meant… I only said that in a figurative way that I meant she would tell me in any way what she wanted, what she feels, anything."

Alice hugged me, "We know Edward. But we think Bella wanted very much to speak to you, but really speak to you… be perfect for you."

I look at her outraged, "That's ridiculous! She is nothing short of perfect!"

"You put her on a pedestal, Edward," Emmett said.

"I only speak the truth." I countered.

"And that's what scares her… she's scared of disappointing you." Jasper said softly.

This was absurd. Bella should never think about that. It was I who felt that I didn't deserve her.

Silence.

Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Jasper said and he got up and answered the call. No one spoke until he came back.

My heart beat nervously at the sight of Jasper's frantic face filled with worry.

"Guys, that was Renee." Bella's mother? MY eyes grew in alarm. Something was wrong. Oh please God, no.

"What's wrong Jazz, tell us!" Rosalie demanded, worry covering her words as well.

"She was asking if Bella was still here. She was supposed to arrive there three hours ago. She checked with the airlines and they said Bella wasn't on the plane nor did anyone from the airlines here saw her."

I sunk lower and lower as I heard Jasper talk and froze when he said what I shuddered to hear.

"Bella's missing."

* * *

**AN: Ah, another cliffhanger. Next chapter will be in Bella's POV. **

**Thanks for the reviews and I'll try to update soon. You guys were awesome! Sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting but I had seen this coming from the very start before I even decided to publish this story. I don't think I can write a pure "fluff" fic. I need drama and suspense. I'll update as soon as I can but I'm not sure when that would be. Until then, sorry for keeping you hanging. At least you now know why Bella's silent. :)**

**It's not as long as the previous chapter (I don't know if I can ever top that!) but the drama was pretty heavy. I know some think that Edward is rushing things by asking Bella to marry her but I think that he's just the type of man to do that as he said in Eclipse. And, come on, can't you feel his love and commitment? :)**

**Thanks so much for the love! I've been smiling all day from reading your reviews. :) I hope we get to reach 230 reviews. Here's hoping!  
**

**Oh, and yes, Margaux is really my name. Margaux Mae to be exact (pronounced as Mar-gow). It's a name that I consider a blessing and a curse as almost no one gets the spelling or the pronunciation right the first time. Ah well.**

**Thanks again! Love you guys!**

**Until then,**

**Margaux  
**


	12. Chapter 12: Bella Speaks: Part I

_**Warning: Extremely long chapter. This is the part I of the only chapter that I'm going to do that has Bella's POV. So length is expected. Flashbacks galore as well as an interesting twist from the present at the end of the chapter will be read in the two parts. I could've done away with this but there have been requests and I guess I caved in because you guys might want to know what's inside Bella's mind. **_

_**I also realized that since Bella never said a word in the past 11 chapters that it's time we heard from her so here's a super lengthy account of everything that happened and is happening as seen through her eyes. Enjoy!

* * *

  
**_

"_Guys that was Renee." Bella's mother? MY eyes grew in alarm. Something was wrong. Oh please God, no._

"_What's wrong Jazz, tell us!" Rosalie demanded, worry covering her words as well._

"_She was asking if Bella was still here. She was supposed to arrive there three hours ago. She checked with the airlines and they said Bella wasn't on the plane nor did anyone from the airlines here saw her."_

_I sunk lower and lower as I heard Jasper talk and froze when he said what I shuddered to hear._

"_Bella's missing."

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 12: Bella Speaks: Part I**

**Bella**

I sighed as I watched the autumn leaves fall one by one.

Yellow

Orange

Red

I closed my eyes as I felt the cold crisp air hit my face. I shivered. When I opened my eyes, I watched the melancholic scene before me. Following the leaves slowly hit the ground my heart ached because I was like one of these leaves. It never ceases to amaze me how easily I fell like these leaves.

So natural,

So free,

So expected like it was meant to be…

That was what it felt like… me falling for Edward Cullen.

I lowered my eyes and blew on my hands. It was cold. Really cold.

I shut my eyes tight. I wasn't supposed to be here.

_Why did I run away from him? _ He was there, ready to give himself to me and I was there, ready to give myself to him as well. I only but had to just nod at him. But I didn't.

I couldn't…

So I ran. I ran from the only man who ever understood me without ever prying. I buried my face on my hands and let the tears escape once more. _Bella Swan, you're such an idiot. _I was so stupid to give up the good thing.

I love him. I really love him with all my being. I was hopelessly in love with him. But when he asked me to marry him, when I was about to say yes reality hit me. I could never say yes to him. I could never say _anything _to him. I hated myself. I hated myself for my condition. Edward deserved to be with someone better than me. I didn't deserve him. It doesn't make sense for him to love me.

I slumped on my back and looked up at the sky then I allowed myself to remember the first time we met.

* * *

_I was bored that day so I went for a walk bringing my sketchpad. Jasper dropped my off Central Park and said that he would come back for me after he sold his paintings to a famous art dealer. So walking around the park, I tightened the scarf Jasper gave me for my birthday and searched for a place to sit._

_Then I spotted a bench. Ah, now that's better. So I sat down, bringing my legs up then rested the pad on my lap. I flipped to a blank page and scanned my surroundings. I rolled my eyes. All I could see were couples. I don't know why seeing people together irritated me to some extent._

_Was it because of my parents' failed marriage? I shook my head. Charlie and Renee loved each other yet Renee wanted a different life from what Charlie offered. My dad let my mother go be happy and right now she was happy with her new husband. Phil made her happy so I was happy. When I last went home, I was glad that my dad was finally seeing someone. He was seeing Sue Clearwater. It was unfortunate that Harry, her late husband died but at least she won't be lonely anymore. _

_So I guess I really can't blame my parents for this bitterness. It wasn't like I didn't have the opportunities to have relationships. Several guys asked me out. I said yes to some of them, well, I could only count two people I went on dates on – Mike and Tyler from high school. Yet all ended the same way. They never grew accustomed to my silence. They didn't get me. They couldn't understand me so after that I never said yes again._

_And of course… I remembered Jasper. My heart ached for rejecting him. I loved him but only as a brother. I don't think I even deserved him. He was too overprotective and adoring that I would often feel so guilty with him like I was a burden. I've always felt like a burden to all the people I loved…._

_I shrugged all those thoughts away and decided to just sketch the bench in front me. I did not include the happy couple sitting there and made it empty._

_A strong gust of wind blew my direction that when I tried to keep my hair off my face, I dropped my charcoal pencil. Bending over, I picked it up then got back to my previous position and continued sketching._

_I was oblivious to the fact that someone was standing not too far from me. I thought that whoever that person was would just pass through so I paid no mind._

_I continued drawing even as I heard footsteps definitely belonging to a man becoming louder as proximity drew closer._

_Then the sound of footsteps ended in front of me and I heard the most beautiful warm voice that felt so rich like velvet._

"_Excuse me miss, but would it be alright if I sit beside you? I'm sorry for disturbing you," the voice said politely. I looked up and swathe most handsome face I have ever seen. The man in front me had the greenest eyes that were so deep like a thick forest you would want to get lost in just to feel the green in them and he had bronze colored hair that was messy but made him look all the more beautiful. But I liked most was his kind smile. My eyes widened at this sight of him then I remembered his request._

_It was a good thing half my face was hidden under my scarf to conceal my traitorous blush or it would've made me look like I was ogling. I tried my best to compose myself, I blinked then decided to lower my scarf to smile at him and nod yes to his request. I thought I took care of my blush but it never left. Oh goodness._

_He looked taken aback, I wonder why? Maybe I wasn't able to deliver the message right. So I blinked again and patted the seat next to me. My heart was of course sputtering at the prospect of someone that looked like a Greek god was going to sit beside me!_

_He blinked and inhaled sharply. How strange. Then I saw tints of red on his pale face. I suddenly felt relieved that I wasn't the only one who was red._

"_Oh! I'm sorry, I got… momentarily distracted, thank you, though." He said quickly. He looked so cute that I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. Wait, I can't giggle. Thank goodness. I smiled at him again and gave another nod at him. I worked on my sketch again, trying to keep my heart at bay. _

_We sat there in silence. I wanted to peek at him and see his beauty once more but I was too shy and cowardly so I dredged on with my sketch, trying very hard not to think of my handsome seatmate._

_But then I felt like he was staring at me. It made me uneasy. Why was he looking at me? There was nothing worth looking at in my direction, was there? I know I might look so sure of myself that he was looking at me but if anything, if he was indeed looking at me, then something must be out of place._

_So I looked at him in question and his reaction baffled me even more. He laughed nervously – a beautiful sound by the way, then ran a hand on his messy…oh wash my mouth… sexy hair. Oh get a grip Bella! I blinked thrice trying to chase the yearning to lean in and touch his hair._

"_I'm sorry for staring but I was just… fascinated by your seriousness…" he said in that velvety melting voice of his. That was an excuse of course as I knew my silence again triggered this effect like it had always been. Not wanting to cause him embarrassment as well as save myself from it as well, I simply smiled at him showing that it's okay, that I understood._

_He sighed in…relief? Now _this _was a first. Normally people would make use of that opportunity to engage me in small talk but this one… he _sighed.

_I didn't look away from his face because I saw him starting to fidget and look somewhat anxious. I swear if I could talk I would ask him, "What?" Then he spoke…rather nervously and he creased his brows. "Does it bother you that I'm here? I could go now if you want." _

_I stared at him and controlled myself from keeping my eyes from bulging in shock at this. He thought he was bothering me? He was doing the exact opposite of bothering! He was in a completely different time zone from bothering!_

_So keeping my outrage under cover, I closed my eyes and shook my head letting him know that he didn't bother me – ever._

_But my nerves were at it again so I immersed myself again in my sketch. I thought that he would go back to whatever it was he planned on doing but from my peripheral vision, he was staring again… intently at that…. my insecurities rose and I didn't know how to react. What is it? I wanted to ask him. His staring was driving me crazy. Why was he doing that? What was he looking at? Was it my sketch? Maybe he was curious or bored. That must be it. He couldn't be staring at me. That wasn't possible._

_So I stopped drawing and looked at him. I saw him froze, like he was caught. So I smiled once more to him and handed my pad to him. If he was shocked before, he was doubly shocked now. But he recoils as fast as he shook his head and raised his palms in front of me, indicating a no it's okay gesture. He was just being polite, I thought so I offered it once more as I sighed._

"_Are you sure you don't mind? I didn't mean to pry…" he said softly. I rolled my eyes at him impatiently and smirked. You wanted to see this right?_

_I watched as he looked at my drawing and I smiled when I saw a small smile form on his lips. He looked up at me and smiled. _

"_It's beautiful. You're good. Thank you for letting me see it." He was so cute! He liked my drawing! I felt my cheeks heat up and smiled at him gratefully. I had to thank Jasper again for teaching me. Jasper…Bless him._

_He handed me the pad and I continued. I didn't know what else to do. This was all new to me. _

_Then he did something I half hoped he wouldn't do. He introduced himself._

"_I'm sorry, I was being rude. I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen." He thought he was being rude…but it was he who kept talking while I could only nod in reply…who was rude then?_

_Edward… it was an old name but it somehow suited him fine – suited his polite tone and gentlemanly ways. So the beautiful man in front of me is Edward. _

_I shook his extended hand and felt a jolt of electricity run through my body at his warm and soft grip. But I couldn't help but feel sadness as life came bitching back at me. Introductions like his deserved a reply but I couldn't do that. So I looked down letting go of his hand._

_I knew he was waiting… expecting me to introduce myself as well. But I can't. Not even if I wanted to. I blushed from embarrassment. I wanted to go now. Maybe I should. I frowned. Life's so unfair._

_I was about to get up and leave when he suddenly sighed and stood up and I flushed once more in humiliation. Then he started to walk away._

_My eyes widened. I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him to leave. It was I who should leave, not him. But deep down I wanted him to stay with me a little longer. So I tugged on his sleeve and looked at him in question. Where are you going? Please don't leave. Please don't leave…me._

_I saw him force a smile at me then he said, "I'm being a bother so I'll leave you to your work..." _

_My cheeks heated ferociously in embarrassment. For the last time, you… Edward… I wanted so desperately to say that you are not bothering me. I shook my head at him._

_He raised his eyebrows in confusion. How can you not see that you've been nothing but nice and I was the one who was being rude?_

_He said, "No? I assumed when you didn't tell me your name that – _

_But he got cut off with the ringing of my phone. Okay, I didn't love Jasper right now. Damn._

_Completely embarrassed I looked at him apologetically, took out my phone that was blaring Debussy and held out my index finger so tell him to wait a minute._

_He smiled and nodded at me. Was there no end to his politeness?_

_I turned my back from him and answered the call. It was Jasper._

"_Hey Bella. Just called to say that I'm parked on the usual spot so if you're ready to leave we can. I'll wait for you here."_

_So I guess I had to leave now. _

_I faced him and saw that he politely averted his gaze then when he felt me face him, he looked at me and smiled again. I swooned. But I remembered I had to go. I looked at him really sorry and I was surprised he understood me again. He was wonderful. _

"_Do you need to go?" he asked hitting the spot. My goodness, he must read minds! _

_I nodded at him as I sighed._

"_You should go then. Thanks for sharing your seat with me." he said with his godly smile that I blushed. He didn't only get me, he understood me through and through. This was very new…and wonderful._

_I smiled widely at him and with a nod I started to walk away. I felt suddenly sad to leave this man but I knew that someone like him must be attached to someone else. He was beautiful, sweet and such a gentleman… the one who all girls would think was mythical. _

_Yes. It's foolish to even think of any prospect of us being together. He deserved someone whole, unlike me. But I had a selfish desire to not to leave him without leaving any indication of the impression he left of me. I didn't want him to think that I was rude to him. I wasn't rude. I was never rude._

_Then I remembered something that I could give him. _

_My name at least so he wouldn't think that I intentionally brushed him off._

_So I went back nervously and my heart was hammering again when I saw that he was watching me. I stood in front of him, looking down at my feet, nervous of what I was about to do. _

_I remembered that in our moment of silence, I actually wrote my name to give to him in reply but debated on doing so because what if he found out about my condition and got turned off?_

_But doing so now, it wouldn't be as suspicious as a waitress slipping her number as she gave the bill to a gorgeous customer. I internally rolled my eyes at that thought. I was in no way like that. I wrote my name, just my name! Not a number. _

_Surely that was harmless. He can't find me with just the knowledge of my first name… though I hoped deep down he would… but it would be better if he didn't as I don't see how he would ever accept a mute like me who could never praise his perfection. Yes. That would be better._

_I'm just merely returning the gesture as he said his full name to a complete stranger. Surely it was only fair he knew something from me._

_So I looked up to see his handsome face again and bit my lip then I placed something in his hand to which he looked at me astonishingly. I took his surprised state as an opportunity to run. So I walked away, throwing a smile at him as I waved good-bye._

_Then my scarf flew from my neck but I was too shy to get it back so I left it. I would have to deal with Jasper's wrath later._

_While I was walking I saw that he picked up my scarf and search for me but I knew he couldn't see me behind the big tree. Then I saw him open my small note and I saw the most beautiful smile I have ever had the pleasure of seeing._

_I saw him smile crookedly as he stared at my note and it sent chills down my body._

_I went home with the biggest smile._

_Edward Cullen.

* * *

  
_

I sighed as I finished reliving the memory in my head. I would never forget that day I first laid eyes on him. I smiled remembering how patient he was and how even as a complete stranger, in the longest twenty minutes of my life he had already made a big impact on my life.

He understood me.

_He understood me._

I sighed and tears flowed once more. I should never have let things go so far. I should never have left him any mark of me. I should never have told him my name.

Another beautiful memory invaded my mind. The day I saw him standing on my doorstep. He found me. _He found me. _I would always feel giddy remembering that day. I closed my eyes once more and reminisced.

* * *

_I peeked curiously from Jasper's elbow and my breath got caught when I saw him standing there with a small beautiful petite woman who had dark hair like him only hers was deep ebony. She had the same pale skin as Edward and I knew… well I hoped she was related to him._

_So I tugged on Jasper's sleeve. He shrugged, __"I don't know. They're here for you."_

_But how? Why? _

_Jasper noted the confusion on my face and looked concerned and puzzled as well._

"_Don't you know them? They were looking for you, this is Alice and Edward Cullen…"__ he said._

_I jumped at the name of the one I've been dreaming off all night as if it were confirmation that it was really he who was standing right here. In front of me. Here. Outside my house._

_So I ducked from Jasper's elbow, brushed my hair and smiled at him. He looked at me then he quickly ducked down. What? What's wrong? Then I noticed that he was blushing. Then it hit me. I was looking…as decent as Jasper was… Oh wait. Wait. _Oh! _Holy crow, looking at Jasper and me, anyone would assume that he in his boxers… me in Jasper's sweatshirt….we're…that we… Ugh! _

_I quickly tugged at Jasper and motioned to our less than appropriate attire._

_Jasper looked at me like I grew three heads then realization hit him._

"_Oh!" he exclaimed. __I'm sorry,"__ he laughed._ _"This isn't what you think! Bella would like to apologize for being… as decent looking as I am, as she overslept again doing her stuff. We're not… eww, I can't even think that! Ha-ha. Well, being the best friend that she is, Bella let me crash on her couch to escape punishment from going home late."__ He explained and I was delighted to see that Edward…his face lit up. Was it from hope? No of course not! Must be embarrassed from assuming._

_I smiled at him._

"_So what brings you here anyway, I take it Bel__la knows you." Jasper said to him__._

_Edward explained that he went here to give me back my scarf. I never put any sort of identification on that scarf. How could he have possibly found me? _

_I took the scarf from him after gesturing that I remembered and took his hand and squeezed it in gratitude, feeling his soft hands again and not to mention – the electricity!_

_After the theatrics of Jasper scolding me, I realized I was still holding Edward's hand. Jasper and Edward noticed as well so we let go right away and Jasper asked how they found us. _

_I saw Edward eye Alice. When Jasper introduced them, they had the same last name. So it was either married or related. Oh what a dilemma! I half hoped for the later and half hoped for the former (the reason being that I still think he's too good for me)…no scratch that… I "three-fourths" wished for the latter… _

_Alice, who had a lilting bell like voice started to stammer. Was it nervousness or the cold? Either way, they should get inside so I tapped Jasper's shoulder and tugged his sleeve and he nodded._

_He asked them inside and I panicked as they might think that he lived with me – which was partly true but something I didn't want anyone to misunderstand, especially Edward. Oh, what he must think of me!_

_Jasper caught on, thank God and excused himself._

_I backed up and stepped inside to let them through and Alice talked to me smiling warmly. _

"_Hi Bella, I'm Alice, Edward's sister. It's nice to meet you."_

_I couldn't help but grin at another confirmation. _

_So I led them to the living room and excused myself to dress in something more appropriate._

_As I went down the stairs, I caught Edward looking my way. A smile formed on his inviting lips and got caught up in those green eyes of him again that my clumsiness caught up with me._

_I tripped and readied myself for the fall but it never came._

_Instead, I was looking up at the same green eyes that distracted me… and my heart sputtered at the proximity. _

"_Are you okay, Bella?" he asked and I saw how intense his concern was in those forest green eyes. I couldn't move. I don't think I'm even sure that I got the question right. All I could do was stare at him and marvel at the how my name sounds when he said it._

_He asked again, "Are you all right?"_

_I blushed once more and I nodded absently, my eyes never leaving his own._

_It felt so good in his arms… so safe…_

_Wait._

_I was in his arms. In _his _arms! I was in freaking Edward's arms! Holy Crow!_

_I caught a slight tint on his cheeks and with that grin again, he helped me to my feet._

_I smiled at him in thank you then bit my lip. This was so embarrassing. _

_I looked up when he chuckled. _"You're lucky you're light as a feather that someone can easily catch you unlike me, when I fall, if anyone attempts to help me, well, that person is bound to be squished."

_How sweet of him. He was making me feel better._

_I smiled at him again then Jasper went in and destroyed the moment. _

_After that rather humiliating yet normal banter from my loving best friend slash unofficial brother, we all sat down and Alice began explaining._

_I listened to Alice, finding it hard to believe her explanation. Then I peeked at Jasper and couldn't help but smirk inwardly. Only an idiot can't see how into her he was. They were the only ones engaged in the conversation right now._

_So I turned my head to look at another spectator whom those two would-be lovers in the making ditched only to find out that he was staring at me again._

_Edward was looking directly at me._

_I looked at him confused but he just smiled at me to which I couldn't help but smile back at. I blushed and looked down, my heart racing sporadically. How does he do that? I knew I was beet red again and was afraid to look up but I felt that he never stopped looking._

_So slowly I looked up at him and saw his eyes burning with insatiable thirst for answers. What was is that he wanted to know? Or was he coaxing me into engaging him in a conversation that I could never give him. He was searching. I knew it. Because I was searching into his soul as well and saw nothing but kindness… gentleness… valiance… determination._

_We stayed that way just looking into each other. How I wish I could tell him what effect he had on me. how I wish I could talk to him… know him… ask him questions… engage him… just so I could hear his velvet voice once again and revel in the way he said my name sounding like a soft caress…_

_But I know I never could…_

_He must've sensed my sadness that he suddenly frowned. I didn't like it. Seeing him frown. It wasn't right. It offsets his handsome features. His godlike looks didn't deserve to be tainted. _

_My eyebrows furrowed and my eyes shifted to his curved down lips. I had to set this right so I looked into his eyes once more and smiled at him reassuringly. He smiled back at me and we were immersed once more in a conversation I have been accustomed to master: silence._

_It was like we were in our own world where all was understood. No words were needed which suited me perfectly._

_But our moment was over when Jasper and Alice were giggling and snickering. We both blinked and looked at them._

_They broke out laughing then apologized and I sighed at Jasper's comment. Great._

_Then I grinned as I shook my head at them. But I was immediately grateful at Edward when he put those two in place. We weren't the only ones having "the conversation."_

_I then stood up to get them some coffee and cake. I started to walk towards the kitchen when I felt someone stand and follow me. I turned around and was shocked to see that Edward was following me._

_I raised my palms in front of him and pointed towards the direction of my kitchen._

"_Bella's just going to the kitchen to make something warm for us." Jasper explained._

_I sensed that he was going to offer to help but was startled when his sister jumped up and offered to help._

_They were so nice. but they were guests so I smiled at her and shook my head. But Alice was already making her way towards my._

_I heard Edward chuckling and he said, "It's no use stopping her, Bella. She'll drag you there if she must."_

_I smiled widely at her and nodded in defeat more than agreement but I smiled as Alice lit up. She was lovely and cheerfully infectious._

_So we went to the kitchen and I pointed to the cups while I got cake. She was a talker, Alice. She kept on telling me about how she loves the place and all and she rambled about getting a place for her own as well._

_Then when we got back and they all chatted as I listened._

_Then Edward had to ask me what I thought. I couldn't help but frown and he caught that. Not wanting to make the situation awkward, and definitely avoiding revealing my condition, I forced a smile and gave a shrug. I at once stood up and made my way to the kitchen, pointing to the empty plates, not waiting for their reaction._

_I heard someone stand up and say, "I'll go help Bella." It was Jasper. He knew what I felt. _

_Once I reached the kitchen, I placed the dirty plates on the sink and opened the kitchen fridge to take out another box of cake – cheesecake this time and set them on the counter. Dropping all pretense, I frowned and tears threatened to pour._

_Then I heard Jasper come in._

"_Bella." he said softly yet said it with knowledge._

_I smiled at him._

_He didn't buy it. he stood across from me as I started slicing the cake._

"_Bella, I know something's wrong. And I think I know what this is about."_

_I looked up at him and smirked, giving him a look that meant I didn't want to talk about it._

_But I knew he would have none of it._

_He touched my hand softly to stop me from what I was doing._

_I looked up into his gray eyes and I saw concern in them. I never liked seeing this. They were concern from love yes, but also guilt, guilt he never even had to have. and obligation of repentance. I didn't want to see them._

_I crossed my arms in front of my chest, keeping my eyes steady._

"_Bella, we have to tell them – especially him." Jasper said firmly._

_I shook my head. No. _

"_They deserve to know."_

_I closed my eyes in frustration, touching my finger to my head. No. I couldn't tell them, especially him. I couldn't… I just couldn't… as much as I want to… I can't… _

"_Bella, I know you like him but you'll both get hurt if you do the same thing like you did with the others." He reasoned._

_When he meant others… he meant the guys I met in the Academy in Paris. They didn't know the reason why I can't speak. I never told them why. I never said yes to any of them but they kept pursuing me and I let them be. Hoping… a little that one of them could accept me like this, that they could see past my silence… but all of them… when they found out the truth… left me._

_I was nothing but a game to them. A puzzle to crack… that when they finally succeeded, they just left. I thought about what if I just told them outright about me if things would've gone a different direction._

_But I decided, enough was enough. Even if they did accept me, I didn't want pity. I didn't want to be overly protected. And I for one believe that if someone loves a person deeply that she or he would not waste a second of showing it and not be embarrassed at all by the display…and the constant thorn on my side… saying it… saying it out loud… _

_I wanted so bad to say I love you to my mom and dad… Jasper… Rose… Mr. Hale… and to my potential love. Not just through letters, not just through gestures, not just through sign language…_

_I wanted to say it… really say it._

_Because I for one would never get tired from hearing it from people I loved._

_So I wanted to see if Edward could like me as me… see if he didn't need my words… see if he was okay with the silence. _

_But the truth was, I was scared of telling him._

_Scared I might turn him off._

_Scared that I would never be whole enough for him… when I felt in my heart that I knew he deserved wholeness._

_So I looked into Jasper's eyes and slowly shook my head. _

_Jasper sighed. "Ok. You win. But can't say I didn't warn you."_

_I nodded and smiled gratefully at him then I took the tray and went back to the living room wondering why Edward was alone._

_As soon as I stepped into the room his attention was ultimately attuned to me. he looked guilty thinking he must have offended me when all he ever did was be nice to me._

_There was tension in the air but Jasper and I put on a show of normalcy._

_Then I saw him gazing at me, his brow furrowed in worry. I could only look at him mustering all the calmness I could._

_I was then grateful as Jasper broke the tension and reminded me off my meeting with my new manager. Alice excitedly leapt at me and asked if she could help me get ready. I jumped back and almost tripped but Edward caught me again and my heart sped._

_I smiled at Edward in thank you and looked at Alice politely. Then I glanced at Edward. He chuckled. Oh no, I know that look. It was like Jasper whenever Rose would talk about makeovers! I looked at him in horror and Alice caught that, scowling at him._

_Then after their banter, Alice half-led, half-dragged me into my own bedroom._

_She dressed me up and I was impressed, I looked good! Then when she styled my hair, she said softly, "Bella, you know, Edward is an understanding guy."_

_My eyes widened. Alice knew. _

"_I'm sorry, Jasper told me but I promised I won't tell anything. I just want you to know that, with Edward, you don't ever have to be afraid of anything. Anything at all."_

_I looked down. _

"_There you go all done." _

_I looked into the mirror and blushed. Alice was a genius and I smiled at her. she beamed back at me. I had to admit… I looked pretty._

_Then Alice hugged me and I almost cried from the gesture. It was what I needed. So I hugged her back._

_Then we went down and I blushed as I saw Edward's eyes widen at me. I suddenly felt conscious._

"_So? So? Am I good or what?" Alice asked excitedly. "She's gorgeous right? Well, say something?" she demanded.__ I blinked as she directed that to Edward._

_Then my blush grew when he walked towards me then kissed my hand. Then he said, "You look beautiful."

* * *

  
_

I sighed at that memory. I always considered myself to be plain. Jasper and Rose and others have all complimented me but they were family so they had to say those. But when Edward said that I looked beautiful… I almost believed him… the way he looks at me… I feel beautiful whenever he looks at me… what does he see in me? It still doesn't make sense.

Then I felt my cheeks redden at what happened on the porch that same day when we were all leaving and Jasper and Alice went inside leaving me and Edward alone.

* * *

"_Finally, some alone time,__"__ he said to me and I smirked at him. Then I sensed a sudden change in him. He looked at me seriously._

"_Bella, I know you're hiding something from me, " he said. And I panicked a bit. _

_He took a step closer to me and I instinctively took a step back, watching him._

"_But it's okay. You don't have to say anything to me that __you're not comfortable doing so,__"__ he reassured me and I was even more confused._

_But it was his next statement that shocked me._

"_I don't know why you're silent but… it doesn't matter. I…like you Bella Swan."_

_He… liked…me…?_

_Just like that he said it? My silence doesn't matter?_

_I blushed at his confession but this even made it hard for me as I didn't know how to react to this. This was too much…too fast. Had he passed my test right away? No. I truly do not deserve this man. How could my silence not affect him? How could he bear it, not being able to hear my response? _

_I wanted to smile with happiness but I was still agonizing the fact that I can't answer him._

_Then he moved closer to me, his eyes so soft and sincere…_

_I couldn't move. I couldn't even bring myself to look away from those greens. We were so close that I could feel his hitched breathing on my face… caressing me with fighting coolness and warmth. My breathing no better than his and we were here… breathing in what the other breathed out. We would nly need to lean a bit more to…_

_Then I felt his hand touch my shoulder and made it's way up to my neck and stayed there where I shivered from his touch. Then he cradled my cheek and searched his eyes and they were asking… permission…_

_Should I grant it?_

_I wanted it._

_But did I need it?_

_I did._

_But did I deserve this? If I allowed this, one thing could lead to another and it would be too late for me. I would fall. And I would fall hard. But it was selfish to love him… it was even more selfish if he were to love me._

_But I closed my eyes anyway, brushing away all thought. I really wanted this._

_I waited eagerly as I answered the question he asked with his eyes. But it never came. Instead, I felt his breath on my ear and his velvet voice whispering, __"Bella Swan, you are the most fascinating creation in the world and I'm completely enamored by you. And…I will make you speak to me in your own words, in your own way, in your own time and I'll be here for you as long as you want me to."_

_Immediately I was saddened. He shouldn't have said that. he shouldn't have._

_Then I watched him pull away, gauging my face. then I remembered. This was for the best. He wanted me to speak to him. In any way.

* * *

  
_

Though he probably didn't mean t literally speak to him… the message continued to haunt me anyway. He wanted me to speak to him. I closed my eyes once more and continued with the memory.

* * *

_He smiled widely at me after saying goodbye to Jasper. __"Good-bye, and I'll see you soon, I hope. Good-bye for now…Isabella Marie Swan."_

_Again, I was shocked. When he said my full name it was as if he told me that he can know things even without me saying them. And with that, I knew it was too late. _

_I'm falling for him._

_I'm falling for someone I barely met and spent a few hours with._

_I was falling for Edward Cullen._

_So when I saw him get into his car I walked over to him and bent down his window. I smirked as I saw that he and Alice were bickering then Alice pointed to me and I think I shocked Edward._

_I smiled at him and tapped his window lightly._

_I wasn't really listening to him as I focused on keeping my heart steady. I was so nervous about what I was planning to do that I bit my lower lip when I looked down._

_Then once I was calm enough, I looked up at him and I was again dazzled by his eyes. I almost forgot what I was about to do._

"_Bella, we have to go now. Hurry up!" Jasper yelled from his car._

_I glared at Jasper. Damn it. He was the master of rotten timing. But I looked back at Edward and he looked… pissed I think. Well, that made both of us. Then he broke the silence but I cut him off._

"_I think Jasper's not pleased you should go now, this could wait til – _

_I leant down and kissed him lightly on his cheek and ran away, throwing a smile like the day before.

* * *

  
_

The days after that were nothing short of perfect… well… maybe except the part when I got sick, but oddly enough I loved that period as well.

Each day Edward was with me, I always ended up falling for him more,

Like the day when we took a walk in the park and he fascinated me with his life story. He was such a passionate man and another thing I loved about him was how he talked about his family. He spoke with such love about them. But I was even more relieved when I found out that he was single!

No wait, that was bad. We can't be together. We can't. _I can't. _

But I wanted to…

I always gushed at the end of out casual encounter, we ended up dancing in the middle of the park at twilight! I loved the way he held me close to his body and I always tingle at the memory of him singing in my ear.

Then the day finally came when he asked me out. Jasper told me to just give him a chance. So I gave up fighting all the negativities and said yes to Edward.

But unfortunately, I got sick. i thought, it must be a sign that I shouldn't be together with him. But the world had other things in mind. I was beyond touched when he went over with his sister and he even brought me soup!

He was so sweet. Just when I thought that my sickness was a sign that we weren't meant to be, that day showed that we really should be together. He took care of me, always being such a gentleman.

Only an idiot can not feel that he truly cared about me. I knew he really does. He went all the way to show me his feelings without pressuring me. I was ready to give up pushing him away and just let him into my life as he was letting me into his.

But that dinner… my thank you dinner for him… changed everything.

That dinner, I was all ready to tell him – rather show him the truth about my silence. I was ready.

I sighed as I went back in time to remember my favorite parts of that day.

* * *

**AN: Okay, end of part 1. This chapter is already running 16 pages, five more pages from the average and there are still so much to reminisce. I'll update in a couple of days with the next part. **

**The next part would have the flashbacks of Edward and Bella's "almost kisses" as well as the ones that finally made it! And I know some are dying to know what went on in Bella's head when, as narrated by Edward from the previous chapter, that Bella started pulling away from Edward's touch. But best of all, what went through Bella's mind during the thunderstorm AND when Edward proposed to her. Then I'll shift back to the present where a new twist to the story would ensue.**

**Oh, I got 20 less reviews on the last chapter from the chapter before that. :[ I hope it's not asking too much if I could get 40 reviews again for this one as it took a whole day to type and I'm still not done. Please review, I work for peanuts here! Thanks very much so far! Love you guys!**

**Margaux**


	13. Chapter 13: Bella Speaks: Part II

**WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG CHAPTER! The longest chapter I have ever written. Sorry if it's really long but I did my best in cutting some parts but it was hard because a lot of scenes are vital! I can't cut it anymore and had to go with a long one because this is basically a retelling of what happened anyway only it's in Bella's eyes so having another chapter for this would only prolong the story. Anyway, enjoy as the story picks up a bit.

* * *

  
**

_Only an idiot can not feel that he truly cared about me. I knew he really does. He went all the way to show me his feelings without pressuring me. I was ready to give up pushing him away and just let him into my life as he was letting me into his._

_But that dinner… my thank you dinner for him… changed everything._

_That dinner, I was all ready to tell him – rather show him the truth about my silence. I was ready._

_I sighed as I went back in time to remember my favorite parts of that day.

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 13: Bella Speaks: Part II**

_I was going to make the sauce for the pasta I was making when I couldn't find the spice container. Then I spotted it on the high shelf and frowned. Jasper must've used it last. Why must he flaunt his tall stature over my obvious shortcomings?_

_I stood on my tiptoe with one hand on the counter, the other reaching for the spice. I didn't want to call Jasper. I relied too much on him already – especially with Edward._

_Then I was shocked as I felt someone behind me and saw a hand reach and take the spice. I was so startled that I spun around, my elbow pushing against something hard, only to come face to face with a very stunned Edward. I must've pushed him lightly and caught him by surprise as well as he had a hand on the counter at my side and he also had his other hand on the shelf to steady him._

_Then my heart skipped a beat and I forgot to breathe._

_He had a hand on the shelf above my head… and a hand on the counter… beside me…_

_My heart came pounding now._

_I was trapped against the counter and against… Edward._

_My head spun then I realized that my other hand… was on his rock hard chest._

_Oh dear God._

_Both of us were staring into one another's eyes that would sometimes shift to look at each others lips. We were once again breathing in what the other was breathing out. I thought, yes, we're finally going to have a taste of each other! _

_And like always, I waited for him to make the move. I was too scared to do so myself. Then it happened. His hand covered my hand on the counter and made their way up my shoulder slowly… gently… with so much care that I thought he felt like I was fragile that I could break easily… then he reached my neck and settled on my face where I almost let out a sigh of contentment when Jasper ruined the moment by going inside only to dash away._

_Damn it. So much for getting my first kiss with Edward! I knew I was beet red and the moment was so hot and intense like the last time at the porch that I really needed to fan myself._

_I tilted my head to hide my frustration. I would kick Jasper's ass later. I never intruded whenever he and Alice went out. But he had to stick his head on mine!_

_I heard Edward chuckling nervously, and I knew that he was running his hand on his bronze hair. Oh to run my hands on that soft hair of his…_

"_I uh… saw you reaching for it and decided to help you."__ I looked at him at the sound of his soft velvety voice reached my ears. I could never get enough of that voice of his._

_Normally, at break neck speed I would've cursed myself for letting him see me embarrass myself from the simplest things but one look into his gorgeous green eyes had me smiling like an idiot…in break neck speed at that…Sigh…_

_I could only nod at him in answer as I took the paprika from him. Then he stepped aside to let me free from the cage of his arms… though I really didn't mind if I was trapped there for eternity… an eternity in Edward's arms. Sigh._

_I brought out a bowl of tomatoes I sliced earlier. I had to start on the sauce now. If only I knew Edward was coming over early, I would've started head on but… I guess this wasn't so bad considering._

"_Thanks for inviting me over for dinner, Bella."_

_I looked at him and gave him my best smile. This was nothing compared to what he already did for me. But I had to do something to show my appreciation. Well, I also needed to thank Jasper as well as cheer him up because Alice was away so this was the best thing._

"_Is there anything I can do to help? I take it your making pasta?"__ he offered. He was such a gentleman that I wanted to cry from his perfection. No, no. tonight I'm the one who's going to do something for you. I don't want him to give me anything else or help me. It offsets the balance!_

_I shook my head at him but he once again used the full power of his eyes on me without intentionally doing so._

"_Well, please? I'm too cowardly to go face Jasper and have him interrogate me."__ He said sheepishly. Oh I guess I can save him from embarrassment. So I nodded at him and pointed to the bowl of tomatoes. After washing my hands I showed him that he should squeeze the tomatoes. _

"_I get it. I'll do the dirty job of squishing the tomatoes."__ He said charmingly that I smiled widely again as I nodded yes._

_I don't know why he smiled his devilish crooked smile back at me but I like it. I watched as he started to do the messy job. I tried not to laugh when I saw him grimace. He must not like the feel of the slimy mush. It looked like he was just poking at the bowl. I shook my head and pursed my lips at him. What was wrong with the feel of the tomatoes? Of course, he must be vain about his hands what with the piano job and all but still, I play the piano but I don't get uptight from the pasty feel. Huh. It was nice to know that he had his short comings. It made me feel slightly better. But it also made me love him more._

_So I walked over to him and showed him again. But he wrinkled his nose in disgust every time so I sighed and went beside him and dipped my hands on the bowl._

_But the moment my hand brushed against him in the slimy pasty bowl I realized that I did not think this through._

_Oh. My. God._

_I realized that we were so close again and my heart started pounding. I took a big gulp and tried to focus on squishing the tomatoes. He did too but I noticed the change in him. The disgust… the joking gone… he suddenly looked… serious…_

_I noticed that my breath was picking up and I heard him swallow hard. This job felt like teasing. Touch and go all the time… Then I stopped. I stopped because he accidentally squeezed some of my fingers. I waited for him to release them but instead he let it linger and eventually covered my hand._

_I knew he was looking at me again and I was nervous to be under his penetrating gaze once more. But I had a strong impulse to look at him so I slowly brought my eyes to meet his ever green ones._

_I studied his face carefully. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were wide in surprise but held fierceness in them… and desire… our breathing was going haywire and our eyes kept darting back and forth our mouth and our eyes._

_To kiss or not to kiss? _

_I could feel it coming. And I knew he did too. He was leaning in to me and I closed my eyes once more, saying yes to him over and over again._

_Then I felt it. I felt his soft lips lightly as a butterfly brushing against mine and I was about to part them, invite him in when – _

"_You guys done yet? I'm absolutely famished! So you guys – are famished as well, I see? __"_

_EARGH! Damn it JASPER! Why, God, Why? Oooh, this was so infuriating. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it! Shit, I take back what I said that Jasper was the master of bad timing. NO! He was the effing King of bad timing… I am _so _gonna kick his ass later! Man, he's lucky I'm mute or else he would've had an earful._

"_Shit, I really should stop doing that. Peace, dude. No blood, no foul right?" Jasper chuckled nervously._

_No blood? Oh you just wait later Jasper. There _will _be bloodshed tonight._

_I sighed then glared at Jasper then I looked at Edward who had a mixture of irritation and amusement. Amusement?

* * *

  
_

Well, we managed to just shrug it off and have a happy dinner. But then when I thought about my comment on Jasper being lucky that I'm mute… it made me sad again… that was right. I was mute. I was freaking mute.

That was then that I started having second thoughts on me pinning for Edward's affections again. I sighed as I remembered my after thoughts that night. Maybe we didn't get those kisses because they weren't meant to be…

Maybe those were signs….

I remembered that I cried that night when he went home. I cried because even if I was able to thank him for taking care of him through that dinner… for me it wasn't enough. I wanted him to hear me say it from the heart. I wanted him to hear the words, "thank you." I don't even know if he feels that I was showing him my feelings.

That was all I could do.

Show him.

I can't even ask him what he feels or what he likes, what he doesn't like.

Then the dates came but we only saw each other twice a week as my new manager had me working on my piece to perform in the winter concert. He was again very accommodating to my exhaustion by opting instead to have some of the nights in.

Again, I hated myself for not being able to thank him or even compliment him. And I felt even worse when he made every conversation with me end with him asking for my choice. It was always my choice. How could I ask him what he wanted? How could I tell him that he was doing everything right?

I doubt he knew how to read sign language. When Alice came over, she told me that he didn't know but he knew how to converse in French, Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, and German…. And the list goes on while mine remains the same… though I knew French and Spanish… I could only read them… I could only converse using my body.

"But Bella, if he knew… he would learn in a heartbeat for you," Alice said softly.

I cringed. I knew that he would… but that would mean that he was going to accommodate me again… make changes for me when he was already perfect.

Rose and Jasper noticed my indifference and once again brought up alternative methods that could restore my voice. Alice even offered their dad's services and she said that Edward would be more than willing to give that to me and they even said that I could pay for it, knowing that I would refuse any donation for my part. I did _not _want to become a charity case. But I won't budge.

Why?

I was too scared to disappoint them – disappoint him… what if through this knowledge that Edward would have high hopes and be thrilled by the prospect of me speaking then knowing my bad luck, what if the attempt failed? What if he becomes disappointed? I can't do that. I don't ever want to disappoint him. I would rather he just leave me and be with someone who could give him everything he deserves.

I could see it. They might coax me into trying other means, holding on to that hope. And I could see me failing in each of those dreams. I've already undergone a few when I was younger and each time I would see two faces – one that lifts my heart to ecstasy and one that breaks them in a million pieces.

The faces of my family including Jasper's were brimming with hope and confidence with each new prospect. I knew that they were doing that for me. I knew that they were doing that for my benefit because they knew I wasn't happy though I die each day in showing them that I'm really okay.

I loved seeing them so happy, genuinely happy as they smile at me, no trace of pity in their eyes. And they brought me hope that I could finally not be a burden to them and that the way they see me might change.

But I always see the other face. The face of crushed hope and loving sympathy whenever the attempts failed. Of course, I would always tell them that I guess it was never meant to be and that I was okay with that. I didn't want them to see me weak. I put on a brave face for them in hopes that when they see that I'm okay with it that they wouldn't worry about me. But what I really wanted to do was fall to my knees and cry because of the wasted efforts, because of the frustration, because I could see the anguish in them as well.

I already made my mother… my father… Mr. Hale… Rose… and Jasper go through all that hell. I didn't want Edward to have to go through that and I don't think I can even bear it.

I don't want to see the same anguished eyes on Edward. I can't.

That's why I was always torn whenever I'm with him. I had to say goodbye to him. But it didn't mean that I wanted to. For me, it was the best way. If he gets hurt, at least it would be this way. He would move on. How could he not?

I would get the worst end of the stick. But I was fine with that. I would stick it out. I loved Edward that much that I can leave him and save him from my incompleteness.

It was hard to shrug him off when all he did was try to love me. Yes. I knew he loved me. Though he didn't say it, I could see it. I could _feel _it. He was better at silent exchanges than I was. I am madly in love with him. He was my _limerent _object. But I could never reciprocate his feelings being as I am.

So many times that I wanted to shout out I love you to him. Even just whisper his name. But I couldn't.

It cut through me each time I brushed him off when he would hold me and touch me in the simplest manner. But I was still undecided because if I would have to end this, I should do it as soon as possible before it's too late. Yet each time I prepared to end things… I would always linger and tell myself, just one more day with him… just one more…

I knew he noticed my behavior yet I was both thankful and felt wretched that he didn't say anything about it. I felt grateful because he trusted me to open up to him if it was important but I felt wretched because I wanted him to get the message and just leave because it was getting harder and harder to resist him.

Then that night, before the night he proposed to me, I made a selfish lapse that I knew confused him even more.

I looked into the distance as I remembered that incident.

* * *

_I was about to go inside my house when I noticed that Edward was still there behind me. I looked at him and saw that his eyes held longing. His expression was soft and built with desire but it wasn't a desire of pulsating passion but a desire for wholeness. Everything. I could see that he was resolving something on his mind._

_I knew that look because I would catch myself when I allowed it to escape in that dream – that dream that we would finally be really together… get married… have kids… grow old together… that dream where one involves the other for the rest of our lives._

_And before I knew it we were leaning into each other again with no one to interrupt as. I closed my eyes and waited for his lips to meet mine and I would crush myself against him but at the last second I got cold feet. My eyes jerked open. No. I couldn't do it. I had to stop right now. I had to. I had to…_

_I was scared. Scared that this would only end in tears. Scared for him. Scared of the future._

_He saw it. He froze and pulled out._

_I saw him look at me with nothing but concern as his brows furrowed._

_I blinked the tears forming in my eyes and tried to smile apologetically at him. _

_He cradled my face with his warm hands and made me look into his loving eyes._

"_What's wrong, love?" he whispered and my eyes grew wide as my cheeks flushed. I was right; he did love me… now I don't know how I could ever let him go. Would I be that willing to be selfish and have him?_

_He cleared his throat, __"You're sad. Please tell me what's wrong?"_

_I almost cried at his care. But I struggled to repress them, smile and shake my head._

"_Bella…" he said pleadingly that I almost complied but I knew that I shouldn't._

_So I sighed and shook my head once more._

_He looked at me in frustration but he let it go. He dropped his hold and gave a tight smile then said,_

"_Okay. You must be exhausted. I'll take my leave now. Goodnight Bella. Sleep well." _

_Then he started to walk away and warning bells went off in my head._

_No. _

_NO! I did not want him to leave! I didn't want him to go. I wanted him. I needed him. I love him._

_So I yanked his arm gently then he turned around, not meeting my eyes as he said sadly, "Listen Bella, its okay you don't have to say anything you don't want to –_

_But I didn't let him finish. Instead I did what I was longing to do and kissed him. Kissed him hard. Kissed him over and over again as my hands started playing with his hair pulling him closer._

_He put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him, kissing me back as passionately as I did._

_I thought that I finally gave up and let myself be selfish but with each kiss, each of his kisses filled with love made me guilty and think that I didn't deserve him. I tried to fight back those thoughts but my traitorous tears flowed and I hadn't realized that I was kissing him too forcibly._

_And of course he noticed._

_Wiping my tears frantically he stared at me in shock._

"_Bella, why are you crying?" he asked softly._

_I couldn't answer him._

"_Bella, please." He begged but I couldn't…_

_I took a deep breath and did my best to smile at him. I knew he wasn't buying it that I wouldn't get let off the hook this time but I really wish that he would just leave me already._

_I could tell from his gaze that was filled with worry that he wanted to know some answers and I cringed as I knew that he deserved each and every answer._

_Then I heard Jasper's car. I was relieved. This time, his timing was perfect for me but I could tell Edward was pissed._

_He blinked, letting me go right now and he forced a smile for me. I didn't like it. It wasn't from the heart. _

"_So, I'll still see you on Friday, right Bella?" I blinked at this. He still wanted to see me? I wanted the earth to swallow me now._

_I gave him a nod._

_He smiled tightly again then kissed my cheek and I watched him go._

_Jasper walked up to me and eyed me suspiciously._

_I looked at him innocently and smiled a little but he looked at me firmly then glanced at Edward's car driving off then back at me._

"_Bella, why are you fighting the obvious?" he asked._

_I looked down._

"_Bella, with but a snap of your finger, he would jump off a cliff for you. How can you not feel that he loves you just the way you are?" He demanded._

_I glared at him._

_Then I signed, _It's not enough that I love him. I'm not enough.

_Jasper got ticked off, not bothering to sign back at me but just blurted, "How can you say that? You are wonderful Bella and he sees you as nothing but. Get over yourself and let him love you. You deserve this."_

_I just glared at Jasper then I stomped to my room and crashed on my bed.

* * *

  
_

Did I really deserve him? I didn't know how. He deserves so much better. Looking back at that night, it was disastrous yet special at the same time.

My lips still tingle from the feeling of his own molding over mine perfectly. But that day could not prepare me for what happened on our last date together.

At this memory, I didn't bother to wipe my tears away.

* * *

_I put on my happiest face, reminding myself that I was going to see Edward today. Keep myself happy and let him be happy. Mulling over what Jasper said, I promised myself I would try to just let him love me and see where it goes. I guess today I felt too tired to fight anymore._

_I was also nervous because Edward might question me again but I was ready to answer him… Yes. I planned on telling him everything today and see his reaction if he still wanted me or not.

* * *

  
_

I was grateful when he never said anything about the night before. We had a very happy day – the happiest yet and I always gushed at the memory of him playing the violin in the park. The same park where we met…of course I also felt butterflies when he touched my hand and held it, never letting it go.

_

* * *

I knew it was bold to assume but I knew that the song he played was for me because it tug at the right chord strings of my heart and filled my soul that I cried._

_He saw me and smiled that beautiful crooked smile that I loved best._

_He was so cute when he was trying to be modest that I placed my hands on his face to reassure him that he was perfect as always._

_He looked at me softly and grinned at me. I pulled my hands back and caught him frown that I immediately took possession of his hand on mine._

_He smiled as I started towing him. Then we walked side by side in silence._

_But all the pleasantries ended when I heard the sound that made all the hairs on my back stand and my blood curl._

_A flash of lightning and thunder came crashing down and immediately flashes of the nightmare that happened in the woods with Jasper came screaming back at me that in no time I was trembling._

_I felt the blood drain from my face and my eyes bulging in fear. All reason escaped me as the only thing I thought about was leaving and going away from this nightmare. I was so terrified. I remembered all the blood and the pain that went with it._

_When I was younger, I hardly spoke though I could through therapy because it hurt. Each word cut through my throat like knives. But seeing that Jasper was bleeding I had to scream for help._

_The first scream was excruciating. My throat burned from the pain and I choked out blood right away. I was always repulsed by blood but adrenaline was rushing already._

"_Bella?"_

_I felt a squeeze as I heard a voice rimmed with worry and fright. I remembered that someone was beside me but I couldn't move – I was petrified stiff._

_I started to shiver and I felt a yanking movement from my hand. No. I held on tighter as I remembered that it was Edward's hand. No. he can't leave me._

_I looked at him pleadingly and I saw his face was pained from worry and panic. _

"_Bella!" He said shocked._

_Then another flash and I let go off him and covered my ears. I was completely terrified._

_I felt arms encircle me but I couldn't respond._

_I shut my eyes and refused to open them even as I felt his hands on my face._

"_Bella, love, its okay, I'm here." he said trying to soothe me but I still couldn't relax. I kept seeing Jasper, blood, his blood, my blood… screaming….lightning…. thunder…_

_I knew I was crying now._

_He tried again and again to persuade me to move but I couldn't. I wasn't even listening to him anymore and just wanted to shut everything out._

_I only remember he said something about trusting him that I blindly said yes and in an instant I was in his arms. Normally I would've protested but I didn't care. This wasn't normal._

_I just kept on clutching him and saw that we reached a large building. I knew people were staring but I admired Edward for not caring. We must be going to his apartment._

_And we did._

_When we arrived at his place, he carried me and set me down on his arm chair. I was feeling guilty for having him do all these but grateful enough to be indoors._

_He then knelt down in front of me and took my face in his hands as he spoke gently._

"_Bella," he said and I looked at him and saw him looking very worried and nervous and a little anxious._

"_Bella, I… need you to trust me again." I blinked. I trusted him completely. What is it that he was going to do?_

_He suddenly blushed, "Please trust me. I don't have any intention of making you feel any level of discomfort but I have to get you out of your wet clothes or you'll get sick," he explained gently._

"_Do you trust me?" he asked once more._

_I relaxed a bit and felt so touched by him. He was being such a gentleman… so caring… so loving that how could he anyone doubt him?_

_So I gave a weak nod to which he smiled then he stood up and went back carrying some clothes… his clothes._

_I stood up shakily and tried to take them from him but he stopped me and led me to his bathroom and left me there telling me to call him when I needed him._

_I tried to undo my buttons but my hand couldn't stop shaking. It was embarrassing to ask for help but I needed him. I really needed him and I didn't want to be alone._

_So I called him and he came. I blushed as I saw his bare chest. He was beautiful. But then I saw his anger as he took in me and my drenched form. He asked why I wasn't dressed yet so I sat down and showed him I had a hard time._

_He gulped and looked nervous but then he got the message and helped me out of my coat…my boots…and my dress…_

_I think I fell for him more as he respected me so much._

_He left me after unzipping my dress, completely flustered that I was enamored. Then when he knocked again, I went out wearing his clothes, relaxing into his scent that surrounded me right now. _

"_Why don't you go into the living room and make yourself comfortable. I'll put your wet clothes in the dryer, "he told me while smiling warmly._

_I managed to give him a smiled then I reached out for his hand and gave a squeeze 'thank you' wishing so badly that I could say them out loud. If I could, I would say it over and over again._

_His gazed softened and he kissed my head before retrieving my wet clothes. I was again embarrassed. I felt like such a child. I wasn't used to this vulnerability. But seeing the outpour from the window, I shuddered. I went to settle down on the end of his large black sofa, eyeing the armchair that I soaked._

_My guilt for that was oddly comforting as it served as a distraction from the storm outside. I thought about how I would need to replace his armchair, momentarily forgetting what lies beyond Edward's giant window._

_I was too busy distracting myself that I didn't notice that Edward was near. I only noticed when he sat beside me. I looked at him in surprise, and then I blushed while shifting my sight._

"_Are you okay?" he asked. I was about to answer when a loud boom of thunder emanated into the room and left my ear ringing that out of response, I jumped and clutched on Edward's shirt – curling myself into him._

_I was quivering from fright and I held on tight to his shirt that I swear I could rip out any second now if another peal would break._

_All the calm I collected vanished, leaving me a nervous wreck once more. This was so embarrassing but I could care less._

_If I had a voice, I would've screamed. But no. the feeling was like pressing your face into your pillow and muffling your scream into it. No, worse. It felt like I was being gagged and refrained from calling out for help. _

_Jasper was right. I needed to be taken care of. Or else, someone could've easily had their way with me without ever eliciting a scream or complaint – not even a cry…not even to beg…_

_I could easily be a target for the perfect crime. _

_I've never felt so much a burden as I felt now._

_I don't want to be a burden especially to Edward. _

_But then I felt cool strong arms around me. With his chin on my head, he started to rub my back soothingly and whispered comfort, "Don't be afraid. I'm here. I won't leave you. It's okay. You're safe with me."_

_And I did feel safe with him. I felt so secure in his arms. He rocked me back and forth ever so gently while whispering assurances to me until I finally calmed down. I suddenly felt exhausted that it wasn't long when I found myself drowsy._

_I must've fallen asleep in his arms because when I half-opened my eyes groggily, I felt that he was carrying me._

_Then I felt him softly lower me into a more comfortable place. It was his bed I think. My eyes were too heavily-lidded to fully concentrate on what was happening but I did marvel as his overwhelming scent surrounded me._

_I wasn't sure of what happened but I felt a pressure on my forehead then felt the warmth – his warmth leave me and I got frightened again. _

_From panic, I sat upright though that made me dizzy, then yanked his arm._

"_Go to sleep, you need to rest." Then he started walking away. No, please don't leave me! I pleaded with my eyes then I shifted slightly to give him room. At that time, all thoughts of dignity and embarrassment left me. I needed him. I needed him to be with me._

_He looked at me in question, "Do you want me to stay with you?" of course, silly goose. _

_I nodded at him pleadingly._

_He immediately laid down beside me leaving a space in between us but I can't have that. I needed to feel him. I needed someone so bad right now. So I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes._

_I felt him put his arms around me and I snuggled closer to him in relief. I needed his warmth. I smiled as I inhaled his scent and I loved that I fit into his body as if I was designed to fit his. I abandoned all thoughts of leaving him. I knew now that I couldn't. I needed him too much to leave._

_I opened my eyes and watched as he had his own closed and I saw him smile in contentment. _

_He was happy._

_And so was I._

_I love you Edward. If only I could tell you. I would give my heart, my body, my soul for you. I would give up everything for you._

_Life would be meaningless without you._

_If only I could._

_I had a million and one things that I wanted to say to him…_

_Then he opened his eyes and looked so lovingly at me. With his eyes so soft and filled with emotion, I knew he was conveying the same message as I was, and that is, love._

_Edward… without saying anything, he manages to show me just what he feels. He talked my language for which I was grateful. I knew he was okay with my silence._

_Just this night I wanted to cast away all my doubts and insecurities and believe that I am given a chance at happiness._

_Just this night._

_So I closed my eyes smiling at our silent exchange with me not holding back for once._

_If I had a voice right now, I would say it out loud._

_I didn't know if he remembers but when I felt his breathing become even, I opened my eyes and pressed my lips lightly over his ear and mouthed the words 'I love you' wishing so bad that he could hear it. Then I leaned down to brush my lips over his with the lightest pressure. It was only right that I said I love you first. _

_Then I drifted to sleep.

* * *

  
_

That night was the best night I ever had. I sighed.

Then I felt a gust of wind blow in my direction. The wind was picking up so I had to go soon or else…

But I got distracted again as I remembered that it was also windy that day we met.

"I was water at 4 degrees Celsius when I saw you. The cold wind you bring had me dense on the spot. I fell."

That was what I thought when I saw him. I read those lines somewhere and it fit.

Then I cringed when I remembered the horrific morning after. Lie really wasn't fair. It was both the best and worst day of my life.

That morning… he didn't just say I love you to me for the first time…_he proposed._

A fresh round of tears welled in my eyes as I remembered that morning where I last saw Edward.

_

* * *

  
_

_I woke up to feel the sun streaming into the room and I blushed as I remembered that I was In Edward's room…on his bed… in his arms…_

_I looked up from his chest and my action only caused him to pull me closer to him. So I took a moment to study his features._

_He looked so angelic and handsome…he looked so serene and content…_

_I lightly traced the features of his face with my fingers lightly, memorizing each line and marveled at the smoothness and softness of his face._

_Then my fingers lingered on his slightly parted lips and I smiled at the sight of him, softly snoring. I brushed a few strands of his messy bronze hair and gave his nose a peck._

_This was a morning I could get used to wake up into every day and never get tired._

_I wanted to repay his kindness so gently, and as discreetly as possible, I managed to maneuver myself out of his tight grip and tiptoed silently into his kitchen._

_I would make him breakfast in bed!_

_I opened his refrigerator and scanned the contents. Bacon and eggs it is! Oh, syrup! I wonder if he had waffle mix as I eyed a waffle-maker near the coffee brewer. I rummaged the shelf, tripping a little. I sighed in relief that he didn't notice. So I prepared his food and smiled. I would love to make breakfast for him everyday._

_It was my turn to surprise him._

_When I was done with cooking, I waited for the coffee to brew. While waiting I went into his living room and spotted a white grand piano._

_Edward must be tired and I think he's going to be out for a few more minutes. Maybe I can just have a peek at his piano… _

_I've only played grand pianos during recitals and concerts. I only had a baby grand piano at home and I knew that as much as I loved it, I couldn't make it sing for me the way a true grand piano could._

_So I gently opened the lid and gawked at the clean ivory and ebony keys… I eyed them longingly…_

_I couldn't help but gave a stroke to hear the sound. I smiled as it sang for me – each key in tune, with just the right pitch. It figures that Edward would have it tuned to perfection. _

_I've never heard him play the piano though I knew he played as he told me. I wondered if maybe I could hear and see it._

_I gave a downward stroke on the piano and smiled delightedly again that I gave up resisting and sat down._

_I then let my fingers flow into the keys as I played my composition. I played a song I made for Edward. I never told him that I do this for a living. I was too embarrassed because I knew he could play and I might sound like an amateur next to him._

_But now, I didn't know why but it was like I was in a trance as I played and played from the heart. If only each note I play could be translated into words that I may express everything to Edward._

_Then I ended my song, contented. I sighed but when I stood up, I was mortified to see Edward standing before me, smiling brightly, showing those perfect white teeth of his._

_He kissed my head and said, "I didn't know you could play."_

_I blushed harder, smiling timidly then looked down._

"_You composed that didn't you, Bella?"_

_I could only nod at him._

_He smiled at me and kissed my hair, "You're extremely good. I feel so inferior next to you!"_

_I looked up at him with eyes wide and shook my head rigorously. I was the one who felt inferior to him!_

_He chuckled._

_Then he looked into my eyes and said, "Why did you leave me? I woke up and you weren't there in my arms?"_

_I smiled shyly and walked to the kitchen. He followed me, reaching for my hand and I let go briefly to get him coffee. _

"_You left me, just for coffee?" He said in a light mocking tone._

_I rolled my eyes playfully then blushed once more. I then pointed shyly at the end of the kitchen counter to show him that I made him breakfast._

_I saw him eyeing the tray with an expression I couldn't fathom. So I went to retrieve it but he sped off and beat me to it._

_I looked at him disapprovingly but he just grinned at me, taking the tray to place it on the table. Then he sat down and looked at the tray of food…no wait… stare at the food…_

_I waited anxiously for him to taste it, worrying that I might've burnt something, or was it too bland, as it too salty?_

_But he continued to just stare at the food._

_Oh no, they might not smell appealing or look appealing to him…_

_My face was crushed and I made my way to clear the tray when he stopped me by grabbing my hand and looking at me with his eyes so soft and teemed with deep emotions that I could drown in them._

"_You… you shouldn't have… Thank you, thank you very much Bella." he said sincerely that I at once brightened up that he appreciated my small gesture._

"_What about you? Have you eaten?" he asked concerned. Silly Edward, honey, I made this all for you. Don't think about me._

_So I tried my best to lie, recovering from biting my lip and gave a nod at him. While I looked down, I didn't expect his reaction._

_I was then pulled into his lap so quickly! I glared at him. Cheater. Hmf._

"_Will you share this with me please, Bella?"He said while he smoldered me with his eyes again. Cheater. Dazzling me again, and like clockwork, I brightened up and nodded at him. How can I not meet his requests?  
_

_I watched as he sliced a big portion of the waffle and then move his fork towards me but I stopped him by shutting my mouth tight and shaking my head in refusal. Then I pointed my finger at him to say that the first bite should be his all the while smirking._

_He chuckled brightly clearly amused then ate the waffle. I couldn't help but grin when I saw him smile as he took that first bite. I was very happy that he seemed to like it. I was so anxious to know what he thought._

_He looked at me with bright eyes and I took notice of his messy morning hair and I couldn't help but smile at how cute and gorgeous he was. _

"_Mmm. This is so good. You make the best waffles in the world." He said beaming._

_I blushed and eyed him self-consciously. They can't be that good…_

"_It's true. Here," and in a flash, he speared a small slice with his fork and moved it in front of my mouth. I obliged and opened my mouth, giggling soundlessly as I chewed on it. I had to admit, they were good!_

"_See, it's really good. You should make me breakfast more often."

* * *

  
_

Tears flowed even more that I had to pause when I remembered him saying those words so casually like it was the most ordinary thing to do. He didn't know how much those words affected me. It was like an invitation to something more.

It was an invitation to his life.

Breakfast…

Having breakfast and cooking breakfast are both different things. By having it, it could only mean that "Hey, we're running early, how 'bout grabbing breakfast?" But by cooking it for someone… it's like… you only get them if either you came over very early or you woke up in that same house… the underlying reasons would be that you care enough to start your day very early for that someone or you woke up_ with_ and _or_ for that someone. Take your pick. All roads lead to love.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and continued with the most important recollection…

* * *

_Apparently, I couldn't hide my feelings very well as he took notice of my sudden shock. I stiffened at his words and started to slide of his lap but he held me there, wrapping his arms tighter on my waist._

"_What's wrong? Where are you going?" he asked, and I sensed panic in his voice._

_I took a quick glance around the kitchen looking for an excuse then I spotted the pot of coffee. I pointed to that pot as if to say I would get it. He looked at me apprehensively but he let me go though I could feel his eyes on me._

_While my back was turned, I bit my bottom lip from guilt. I love him and I know I have decided to let him love me but I… was quite nervous to…_

_I don't know… I guess I'm still scared that I might lose him…_

"_Bella, thank you for trusting me yesterday." He suddenly said, breaking me from my reverie. I knew what he was trying to do. He was testing my trust in him subtly. Now would be the right time to give in… my face softened and I smiled gratuitously at him._

_He then made his way over to me. My heart pounded at the thought of what was going to happen… what I wanted to happen…_

_He never broke away from my gaze and when we were so close to each other, I couldn't do anything but just continue to gawk at him._

_He then leant down then while he was cupping my face in his hands as I closed my eyes to get a better feel of him as he gently kissed me on my nose, each of my eyelids, my jaw then finally my lips where I then encircled my arms around his neck to kiss him better._

_Those kisses he gave me were new and so filled with love and tenderness… like he was marking me… marking me as his not knowing that he owned me even before._

_Then he slowly pulled away smiling delightedly. And I've never seen his eyes so… decided…_

_He then started once more on giving me butterfly kisses all over my face saying, "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met" in between those kisses and all the while my knees started to buckle – my heart almost leaping out my chest from this happiness…_

"_You are so beautiful, kind, compassionate, smart, charming, loving, generous, talented and so selfless," he continued and my cheeks grew hotter with each kiss that all I could do was look at him, saying all my love for him with my eyes._

_Then he stopped kissing me and looked at me seriously._

_Then he said the words that sent alarm bells on my head._

"_Bella Swan, I know that this isn't the perfect moment," he said nervously but filled with conviction. Oh my God… I think I know where this is going…_

_So? This is what I want right?_

"_I've known you for a short period in time but I can't see my future without you. I want you. I need you in every facet of my life. I cannot live without you. You are my life, my everything. With just the simplest of looks… the miniscule touches you've captured me and I'm yours to command," he continued._

_Edward… are you?_

"_What I'm saying is Bella, I love you," he said, looking me straight in the eye that held no restraint, no doubt, no hesitation but pure resolve… pure love…_

_In an instant, tears poured from my eyes. He loves me! Edward loves me! I can't even begin to comprehend how much I was elated – jubilant, _ecstatic, _to know that Edward loves me.

* * *

  
_

But then, I thought that was all. I thought that day, that moment that all he was going to do was say he loves me but it was more than that.

It was a hundred times more than that.

So catching an orange leaf and twirling it with my fingers, I sighed as I continued with the memory….

* * *

_There he was._

_In front me._

_Kneeling down on one knee…_

_I knew what was going to happen. I knew what he was going to do. The alarm never sounded so loud in my head and my heart went along with it, pounding and pounding._

"_I love you and have loved you ever since the first time I saw you. I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."_

_At that I clasped my mouth and tears poured down my face. They were tears of joy as well as tears of pain…_

"_I promise I will do this properly and more formally as soon as possible but please allow me to be selfish just for this moment."_

_He thought he was being selfish? He didn't know how selfless he was being! Taking me, taking someone who can't even say your name… your beautiful name…Edward, how can you even think you were being selfish?_

_Then with his piercing green eyes and his insanely beautiful crooked smile I loved best, he said the words that sent me to complete nirvana… the same words sent me to my own fiery pit of pain…_

"_Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"_

_I just stood there. Crying. Through my blurry vision, he was waiting with his perfect patience, his glorious smile never leaving his face._

_He then stood up to level with me, taking my face between his hands again and looked at me with the same loving eyes and asked once more, "I love you; please tell me you feel the same way too."_

_Of course I do! I do love you, I really do!_

_I smiled at him, knowing what to answer him. His eyes glowed when I smiled, taking it as a good sign._

_I opened my mouth to say my answer to him._

_Yes, a thousand times, yes._

_But the moment I opened my mouth I forgot that I couldn't…I couldn't speak anymore…._

_But I did through therapy before… I should be fine… but that was before that incident with Jasper but I had to try… just one word… just one…_

_I tried again and tears came crashing down as only air escaped from my lips. My lips trembled as my heart broke. I shut my mouth tight and my eyes grew in horror from the mistake I almost made._

_My heart broke even more when I saw him staring at me with horrified eyes as his smile vanished slowly_

"_Bella, I'm sorry. I… I guess that was too fast. I'm…I'm…"he stammered quickly, panic, mortification and pain evident in his voice._

_I caused that. God, I was such a terrible person._

_I shook my head at him frantically telling him that it wasn't that, it was me. It was my entire fault. I can't even say "yes" to him… I can't give him all the love he deserved… I can't love him… I can't show him I love him enough… I can't even explain anything to him…_

_I…_

_Just…_

_Can't._

_He tried to cup my face again but I flinched from his touch. I was so repulsive. How could anyone say no to an angel like him? Me. a monster._

"_Bella, what's wrong? Was I wrong? Oh God, I'm sorry – he tried to apologize and I continued to shake my head at him._

_I wrenched my hands from him and pulled away each time he tried to touch me. No. No, Edward. You can't have me. You can't…_

"_Bella…please…" he begged. I refused to look at him for fear of seeing his pained expression. He would get over this. He would get over this._

_I then turned my back fully from him and started to walk away because if I didn't go now, I was never going to resist him._

_He stood there shocked at first but then when I was almost at the door I felt a tug at my arm._

"_Please, don't go," he said, his voice cracking. Now I made him cry. Stupid Bella! But this was for his own good. I flinched from his touch but I kept my back on him. I had to leave._

_I pulled and pulled my arm from his tight grasp until I winced when he gripped me too tightly._

_He sensed that and immediately let me go._

_Then I heard a knock on the door. Jasper! _

_I ran to the door, tripping in the process only to get caught from the waist by Edward again. I struggled form his grasp. Please Edward, if you love me, just let me go… please… move on… not me… don't pick me… not me…_

"_Hello? What's going on? Let me in." I heard Jasper demanding._

_I managed to get away from Edward's grasp and ran to the door. I scrambled to open it and ran past Jasper in the process but enough to note his shocked and enraged expression from seeing me._

_I ran to Jasper's car and got in. I leant my head on the headrest and closed my eyes tight, letting the tears flow._

_Images of Edward's hurt face kept flashing on my mind that I banged my head on the headrest three times in frustration._

_I'm sorry Edward._

_I'm really sorry.

* * *

  
_

"I'm sorry." If there were two words that I could say, even If I just had one word that I could say, "Sorry" would be it. Here I am. Cold. Alone. Torn. Empty.

I can't even scream out loud to alleviate my pain.

That morning, when Jasper went in the car, he looked at me and pain was registered on his face.

I signed, "Don't start. Don't you dare start! Just… just drive…"

Without a word, he drove us home where I immediately ran to my room, locked it and cried all day, all night, all week…

The days after that were hard. I never left my room. Jasper and Rosalie tried all means to get me out of there. But I wouldn't talk to them. I couldn't tell them. I knew that Edward called and came over everyday but I told Jasper that I didn't want to see him though everyone knew that it was by far the blackest lie I have ever said.

I've never felt so much pain and I didn't know how to fix this.

Too many times did I consider running back to Edward, begging forgiveness and wishing for him to take me back but each time I would think that he would find someone better. He had to. I didn't deserve him.

I still don't.

Today, I was supposed to visit my mother. But I don't know why but I just felt I had to be here…

I just had to…

I'm sure everyone must've known by now that I wasn't with my mother but I needed time… I needed this tranquility to think… I knew I was in for a lot of trouble when I come home later but I didn't care.

My phone kept vibrating all the time. I didn't care to turn it off. At least they knew that I was still alive or whatever.

But I reluctantly checked my phone then decided to text Jasper.

_Jazz,_

_I'm fyn, needed time alone. B home soon._

_Love,_

_Bella._

Then I turned it off because I knew that Jasper was going to call at once.

I sighed then looked up in the sky while closing my eyes. My body was sore from all the crying and I could feel dried up tears on my face.

I let the wind… which was picking up a little… whip around my face… but then…

I felt something cold and damp on my cheek. My eyes opened wide and grew wider in confusion when I wiped the wet substance.

I wasn't crying anymore… where could this possibly come fr –

A loud deafening crack sounded in the distance preceded by a blinding streak in the sky.

I sucked in my breath as my eyes grew wide in panic.

It was starting to rain…and there was thunder and lightning.

I sat there petrified then at once I was trembling. I scanned the place frantically and I grew even more terrified when I saw that no one was there.

I was alone.

_I was alone._

Another crack came like a bowling bowl that I bolted up standing, my eyes shifting. I wanted to run but my feet were rooted to the spot. I was afraid. I was very afraid…so _terrified…_

_No._

No.

Blood, Jasper, rain, thunder, lightning…. Everything was coming back to me…

Then another flash then another peal of thunder… it was so loud and horrifying that the next thing I knew I was on the ground with my knees to my chest, my face hidden, eyes shut tight and my hands covering my ears.

I was shivering from the cold and from fright as tears once again ran in streams down my face.

I was so stupid to come here in the first place. Oh, when will the idiocy end, Bella?

I needed to get out of here.

I needed to go somewhere warm.

I needed help…

I needed someone…

I needed –

"_BELLA!"_

I froze in my thoughts as I heard my name.

I strained to open my eyes and my mouth hung, and tears poured faster at what I saw.

Standing before me, was a man with bronze messy hair that was wet against the rain with the most beautiful eyes that held anxiety, anger, pain and love in them.

_Edward

* * *

  
_

**AN: Hello my darlings! Thanks for the reviews. Ah, we finally get somewhere in this story.**

**But, my dears, the reason I took so long to update because I sadly got even less reviews from the previous chapter even though I worked so hard on it… Anyway, it's fine. I just hope I get more reviews on this chapter as I really, really, really worked hard on all 23 pages of this chapter.**

**I'm doing the draft for the next chapter but I don't know when I'll post it. I might end the story with next chapter…hmmm…we'll see.**

**Don't worry, I still love you guys and I will finish this story! I **_**will **_**try to update as soon as possible. **

**(Oh yeah, I'm so sleepy it's almost midnight and I came from class at 7pm, ate dinner and started on this chapter. That's how much I love you guys so be dears and don't mind the typos for now. I haven't proofread this yet. Bear with me. I'll proofread in the morning.) ---Done! As of this moment, I proofread it already. :)  
**

**Until then, **

**Margaux**


	14. Chapter 14: Somewhere Only We Know

"_BELLA!"_

_I froze in my thoughts as I heard my name._

_I strained to open my eyes and my mouth hung, and tears poured faster at what I saw._

_Standing before me, was a man with bronze messy hair that was wet against the rain with the most beautiful eyes that held anxiety, anger, pain and love in them._

_Edward

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 14: Somewhere Only We Know**

**Edward **

I scanned all the faces that I could see from my car window as I drove around, searching frantically for Bella. The sky was starting to look ominous.

I cringed as I remembered what happened just this morning at Jasper's house.

* * *

_My heart beat nervously at the sight of Jasper's frantic face filled with worry._

"_Guys that was Renee." Bella's mother? My eyes grew in alarm. Something was wrong. Oh please God, no._

"_What's wrong Jazz, tell us!" Rosalie demanded - worry covering her words as well._

"_She was asking if Bella was still here. She was supposed to arrive there three hours ago. She checked with the airlines and they said Bella wasn't on the plane nor did anyone from the airlines here saw her."_

_I sunk lower and lower as I heard Jasper talk and froze when he said what I shuddered to hear._

"_Bella's missing."

* * *

  
_

Bella, my Bella was _missing…_

_We all went to the airport and talked to everyone we thought of that could've seen her. Alice, always one step ahead of us, whipped out her platinum card as well as called the right numbers that helped us screen the airport security cameras._

_While Alice, Jasper and I reviewed the tapes, Emmett and Rosalie talked to the security guards, the clerks and other airline staff and employees._

"_Hey Jasper, how about calling the cab Bella rode? As I recall, you always get the number of all the cabs she took before she could even leave," Rosalie asked Jasper hopefully as she got back from asking around._

_Jasper shook his head sadly, "I already called. The driver said that he did drop her off here but that's it. He didn't know if she got on the plane or what or if she even left the waiting area."_

_Emmett entered, "So there's a good chance that Bella's still here. Do you know where she could've gone? Any favorite place? Anything?" _

_I thought back and felt a little relieved. Bella couldn't have gone that far… I said nothing as I continued viewing the tapes though I knew this was a pointless pursuit._

"_She could've gone to her favorite book store… the studio… a coffee shop…" Jasper trailed off._

"_Yeah, she doesn't go out that much," Rosalie agreed._

"_Maybe she just wanted time alone and will come home eventually. I'm sure we'll hear from her," Alice mused._

_I then looked at Alice and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Alice, you've never been wrong before with this kind of things. Tell me you're sure she'll come home."_

_Alice looked at me apologetically, "I'm not that sure but…I'm pretty sure. It's Bella. I know she wouldn't want us to worry…"_

_Jasper nodded, "That does sound like Bella. We'll hear from her soon. I tried calling her at once but all I got was her voicemail… we'll wait a few, then I'll try to call again."_

"_Can't Edward call her? She might answer," Emmett suggested. I would've… I should've… only I fear that for some reason I might scare her off even more…_

"_It's best that we let Jasper do it. Remember, she doesn't even know that Edward is with us – or his siblings at that," Rosalie said, shaking her head._

_I sighed. "She definitely got a cab and went somewhere from here. I'm sure of it."_

_Emmett patted my back, "You're probably right, Edward." Then he looked at the others. "Maybe it's time we roll."_

"_Alice, just in case that Bella decides to go straight home, I think we should go back, wait just in case and let the boys search," Rosalie suggested._

_Alice nodded, "Yes. You're right. We'll wait at Bella's, right?"_

"_Yes. I also have a key."_

_I sighed and stood up. "I guess we should divide the places then?"

* * *

  
_

Jasper drove the girls to Bella's house then he said he would check out the studio first. Emmett went to the bookstores that Jasper suggested.

Alice told me to try and go to my apartment, just in case that Bella went there… though that was pretty farfetched.

"_You never know, Edward. She must've thought about talking to you."_

I took a deep breath but it didn't do much to help eradicate the worry that I felt. I scanned once more to try and get even as much as a glimpse of her mahogany hair in the crowd…

_Bella where are you?_

Once I saw my building, I slowed down then parked in my reserved space.

"Hello Mr. Cullen," greeted James, the doorman.

"Oh, hello James," I said half-heartedly.

James scrunched up his face in knowing, "Still blue, I see?"

"Yeah."

"I know just what you need," James said brightly, his blue eyes gleaming.

"Thanks for the offer James, but I need to head up now," I said as politely as I could. I knew that Bella couldn't have gone up my room as I didn't have the chance to give her a key. Yet somehow I hoped that she could be there waiting outside… no, I shook my head. Impossible.

"Are you sure? Because Victoria and I –

I cut him off. I felt bad for doing so, but I was getting impatient. I just wanted to go up, satisfy Alice's recommendation that I _check _if Bella was there then go on and continue my search for her.

"Listen, I'm really grateful James. Truly, I am. But there is something very important that I need to attend to. Forgive me for my rudeness."

He sighed then nodded, "Yes sir."

I gave an apologetic smile then went up my room. Once I was inside, my heart broke from knowing. Of course, she wasn't here. Damn it Cullen.

I kicked the coffee table in frustration and pieces of composition sheet flew all around the place and onto the floor.

I groaned then bent to pick them up.

"_Bella's Lullaby"_

I felt a wrenching pain in my chest. I completely forgot that I was supposed to finish this – finish Bella's song. I sighed as I picked up the papers and sank down the sofa. My place never seemed so lonely now that it got a taste of what it was like when Bella was here.

I shut my eyes tight and pinched the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and thumb. Then I felt a cool draft whip my face that I shuddered.

Opening my eyes, I traced where the wind came and saw that I had left my window open. I walked over to the window to close it when I had an epiphany.

But I was immediately broken off the thought at the sound of my phone ringing.

I answered it immediately.

"Edward."

"Jasper! Any news?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes. I just heard from Bella." I sighed in relief.

"She sent a text message. She said that she's fine and that she just needed some time alone and would go home soon, then she turned her phone off."

Text message? I was such a fool! Why didn't I think of that before? I guess I was too mesmerized by her presence that I forgot that we could use another means of communication… we could also e-mail or chat… then I shook it all off. Where was the romance in all of that?

But still…

"Hey Jasper…" I started.

"I already forwarded the message to you," Jasper said, a hint of smirk on his voice.

"Thanks. Go home Jazz. I think I know where Bella is."

"Oh? Then bring her home then!"

"I'll try. Thanks Jasper."

"No, thank _you, _Romeo. Now get out of here and bring my best bud's butt here!"

So after the call I dashed down and went out the door of my building when –

"In a rush, Mr. Cullen?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back and saw James smirking.

"James! Have you seen –

He cut me off this time, "If you meant if I saw a brunette with chocolate brown eyes come here, and yes I did. Vicky was here too and she saw her."

I flailed my arms in the air, "Then why didn't you say so?!"

He looked at me accusingly, "Sir, let me remind you that it was you who didn't let me." then he smiled.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Okay so when was she here? Do you know where she went now?"

He thought back, "Well, she came by a few minutes after you left. She kind of just stood in front of the building. Staring up, then walking away, then back again then away then decided on just standing near this doorway. I must say sir, she's hot."

"James…" I said warningly.

He held out his hands in mock surrender, "Okay, okay I get it. Anyway, I walked up to her, recognizing that she was the one who was with you the other day and asked her, 'Miss, can I help you with something?' Then she looked at me a little startled, smiled, then shook her head. I was about to tell her that if she was looking for you that you just went out but she started to walk away.

"I must say, Mr. Cullen. I know you guys are busy but if you gave me time I would've given you the information you needed."

He was right. If only I let him a while ago, I would've realized sooner that Bella was here and if Bella let him talk to her more too then she would've known that I had left. Damn James.

"Thanks James, though I think I have an idea where she is."

He smiled then winked, "Good luck Mr. Cullen."

So I half walked, half ran to the place that meant a lot to Bella and me. I'm positive that's where she went. I fought the urge to smile at such a time from the newfound knowledge that Bella was there in front my building… contemplating…

There was hope yet.

_I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete_

Trudging down the path, I was slightly panicking because the sky looked so heavy. I had to get to Bella fast before it starts to rain. It was getting hard to see as a slight fog and icy wind blew in all directions.

Wait for me Bella. I'm coming.

_Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin  
_

But I was facing another problem. Sure I would find Bella… but would she let me in? My heart felt heavy once more.

_I came across a fallen tree  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?  
_

I looked around. There was almost no one left in the park and that made me worry even more. The thought of Bella being alone with impending storm…

Bella, love, I'm coming.

_Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin  
_

Drip.

I felt something wet drip on my face. Oh shit it was starting to drizzle! I had to hurry… I scanned my eyes at every empty bench that I saw, counting… I knew that if I'm right, Bella would be only a little farther off…

_And if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?_

Bella, why did you come here alone? If I find out that you came here to... to - wait for me I would never forgive myself. On any other day, it would've been great but not today… not when a storm was breaking.

I haven't been here not since the day she left… I know it seems that I was so sure of myself into thinking that she was waiting for me but based on what James saw when she came over… I knew she was at least contemplating… thinking things through here…

_Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

Bella, please let me love you… please… I love you with all my being. You are everything to me and I swear I would strive to give you everything you deserve and more… just please… let me in…

I thought about what Jasper and the others said that I put her on the pedestal. Could I have pressured her without knowing? The thought that she pondered if she wasn't enough for me sickened me. she was perfect. Damn perfect.

_So if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
So why don't we go_

This could be the end of everything. If I do see her in time, we would be standing at the crossroads. If she decides that she doesn't want me in her life, then I would let her go. I love her enough to do that but only if she really honestly doesn't want an 'us' to happen.

I stopped dead when I heard a deafening crack. Oh no! Then at lightning fast speed, I ran as fast as I could.

Then...

Then I saw her.

_This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?_

She was behind a bench – _our _bench... the place where we first met... she was here...all along... looking so terrified that if it was possible, my heart broke even more at the sight of her looking like that.

I couldn't will my feet to move and my face showed an expression of sheer shock.

But then, I saw something glistening on her cheeks. My eyes grew wider in fury of what's happening to her. _She was crying, my Bella was crying again! _

More than anything, I hated seeing Bella cry.

She was too good to deserve tears.

"BELLA!" I shouted then poised to run to her when she lifted her head and I saw her beautiful brown eyes red and brimming with fear, anguish, and surprise.

I was caught momentarily at the sight of her sad face but then after another rumble in the sky where she ducked down and sobbed – at once I was at her side, taking her into my arms.

"Bella, shh… it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Don't be scared. I won't leave you," I soothed while rubbing her back, kissing her hair. God, I missed this. I missed the smell of her soft hair and how it felt when she was in my arms.

Then she moved her face to look up at me and my gut wrenched as I saw pain in her eyes mixed with fright.

"Bella…"

Then she did something I didn't expect. She pulled herself away from me then started backing away.

I reached for her. It was raining so hard and her safety is my first priority.

"Bella, come on…" I said softly as I touched her arm. She flinched then backed away even more, shaking her head.

"Bella please, we can talk later. Right now we need to get you out of here."

She shook her head even more.

"Please, now is not the time to be stubborn Bella. Just please let me get you out of here…" I pleaded.

She stood her ground.

I was about to protest when thunder came crushing down. Bella closed her eyes and I saw that she shivered from the cold and fear.

I dared move closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't fight back.

"Bella, let's go."

In an instant, she was struggling again in my arms but I held her there.

"Bella, stop fighting!" I said loud and firm that she looked at me in shock, halting her movements.

"Please." I added.

Then she fainted.

It was a good thing that I was still holding her but now it was my turn to get shocked. I swung her arm around my neck then carried her as I ran.

Where should I take her? My mind stated matter-of-factly, "your place of course" but seeing her reaction to me... She didn't want to see me. She... didn't want me.

So I placed her gently in my car and decided on driving her to her house.

I placed her on the back so she could lie down then covered her with a blanket that I kept. I couldn't help but stroke her soft cheek that was tear-strained and give her a light kiss on her lips before driving.

As I drove, I decided on calling Jasper. Alice was right in telling me that to go home. If I hadn't then I don't know what could happen to Bella…

He answered on the first ring, "Edward! It's raining cats and dogs! Have you found Bella yet? She's deathly afraid of storms!" He said frantically.

"Relax Jasper."

"How can I? She's probably freaking out right now!"

"I found her."

Silence on the other end.

"She's here with me and we're driving over there as we speak," I added.

"Oh. Where'd you find her? Is she okay?"

"At the park. She's… well, she's unconscious at the moment – but before you freak out again, she just fainted… she looks exhausted."

"Why didn't you just take her to your place? It's closer."

"I would've… I should've… but her reaction to me…"

"Oh. That bad. Okay, we'll just prepare her room for her."

"Thanks."

When we arrived, I noticed that Bella was breathing evenly. She was sleeping now. Very carefully, I lifted her then carried her to her house where the door was already opened by Emmett and Jasper coming at once to our side, doting on Bella.

I carried her to her room and left her with Alice and Rosalie to change her clothes.

I was about to walk away and drive home when Jasper stopped me.

"Where are you going?" he demanded.

I sighed tiredly, "She doesn't want me here Jasper. I'm just happy that she's safe now."

"Do you really believe that?" he said, raising a brow skeptically.

I couldn't answer.

"That's it, I'm dragging Bella down here so you could finally talk," he said as he started marching upstairs.

I grabbed his arm. "She should be resting right now!"

He pulled his arm from my grip and glared at me, "The rain's gone and she'll be fine. Why wait 'til she's fully better? She's hurt the moment she left you and when she wakes up, she'll still be hurt. She's stronger than you think, Edward."

I grabbed his arm again, "No."

Emmett broke us up, "Boys, stop it. Look!"

Jasper and I glared at each other then saw Bella in dry clothes now, looking surprised.

I managed a smile, "Hope you're feeling better Bella. I'll go now."

Then I started walking away. If I didn't, I might not be able to later.

But I felt her small hands on my arm.

I turned around immediately and embraced her. She hugged me back.

We pulled away a little then I looked into her eyes and saw confusion.

"Bella… what does this mean?"

She looked down and frowned.

"Bella… what am I to you?"

She looked away.

"Bella, I know."

She snapped her head at me then at everyone else and a look of betrayal shot through her face.

"Bella he deserved to know." Jasper stated.

I saw tears well up in Bella's eyes.

I attempted to wipe them but she brushed me off.

"Bella, I know but it doesn't matter. I love you, that's all that matters to me."

She shook her head.

The others started to leave the room.

"What Bella? Why are you so opposed to us? What are you fighting? What are you so afraid of?"

She glared at me and continued to shake her head.

"Bella..." I said softly, you know I love you. You know what I want from you. You know that I would do anything for you – give you everything you deserve and more – give the whole world to you."

I saw her face soften but she was still looking away.

I sighed.

"But Bella... I need an answer. Because it does hurt, you know. If you really don't want me, tell me. Tell me now and I'll go." I said. I love her too much to force myself to let her go if she didn't want me. I would wait an eternity for her but right now I wanted to know where I stand. We can't keep doing this.

I watched as she averted her eyes and saw that she was crying again. I wanted to wipe the tears away but I don't think that she would want me.

So I waited.

I waited some more for her response.

This time the silence was nerve wracking instead of the usual peace I had grown accustomed to.

After what seemed like an eternity, I closed my eyes and sighed.

I then turned my back to her. I then started to walk away.

"I guess that's my answer. Good-bye, Isabella." I called over my shoulder.

She couldn't answer me now so I had to leave.

I had to.

But then, I felt a hand grab my arm – I turned around.

"Bella..."

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry it took a long time but our professor suddenly announced last tue that we had to present a report as well as case studies on psychoanalysis on the thu of that week. Me and my groupmates literally begged him to let us present the following tue (yesterday at our time) He told us he'd give us at least a week and half to prepare, not freaking five days! Damn it. So we had to rush on research and video shoots, editing, the whole kit and caboodle!**

**Song: somewhere only we know by Keane**

**Oh and this chapter is expectedly shorter than the last because Bella was done with the recollections. Sorry for leaving you hanging but I had to cut somewhere. A lot of you guys didn't want me to finish this story with this chapter, ergo this. Peace! **

**Oh and my dears, thanks for the whopping reviews! I'll update as soon as I can and if I could get the same amount of responses. :) I have tons to do starting tomorrow. Tonight's my only free time. Show some love! I got 54 reviews for the last chapter. Hope we could beat that. If we could then I'll update reeaal soon!!! **

**I also have an original story that's posted on Fiction Press (wrote it last week after updating this fic). It's "Wednesdays with Midnight Breeze" my pen name there is "Margaux Incarnate" (supposedly an entry to a literary award of our university, ah well,)**

**Until then my darlings, **

**Margaux**


	15. Chapter 15: Silence Broken

_So I waited._

_I waited some more for her response._

_This time the silence was nerve wracking instead of the usual peace I had grown accustomed to._

_After what seemed like an eternity, I closed my eyes and sighed. _

_I then turned my back to her. I then started to walk away._

"_I guess that's my answer. Good-bye, Isabella." I called over my shoulder._

_She couldn't answer me now so I had to leave. _

_I had to._

_But then, I felt a hand grab my arm – I turned around. _

"_Bella..."

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 15: Silence Broken**

_Come with me my love_

_To the sea, the sea of love_

_I want to tell you_

_How much_

_I love you_

_Do you remember when we met?_

_That's the day I knew you were mine_

_I want to tell you_

_How much_

_I love you_

_Come with me my love_

_To the sea, the sea of love_

_I want to tell you_

_How much_

_I love you_

**Edward**

I took in her form. Her body was bent towards me and her soft warm hands on my arm caused the blood underneath the skin she touched boil and further caused the quick pulsating in my chest. Was this it? Was she finally letting me in?

I studied her face anxiously. When my eyes met her deep brown ones I felt an unpleasant tug on my chest. I saw pain… confusion… and…pleading?

Then I saw the way she looked at me. I knew that look. I have committed that look to memory. I love that look. It was the look that made me love her – adore her…be perfect for her. It was the look that felt like she could see past all my mistakes, all my shortcomings, all my faults and I would see complete acceptance…complete…love.

I only saw this look twice. The first time was the day Alice and I found her and it happened when we almost kissed. The last time was the night before she left. That night when we both slept with her on my arms…

With that look, I abandoned all thoughts and just take her into my arms. I embraced her – held her to me for fear that if I let her go that I would lose her. Then I felt her arms around me and I couldn't help but smile and hold her even tighter against me, almost lifting her off the ground.

I then pulled away just to look at her face. I cradled her beautiful delicate face with both hands and wiped her tears then kissed the traces on both her cheeks, her jaw then I moved to kiss her lips.

She let me. But she didn't kiss me back. I kissed her harder. _No, stop fighting, Bella! Don't do this, don't… _Then she finally pulled away, stabbing my heart once again. _What now? _

I felt anger boiling in me. Why was she still pushing me away?

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little. "Bella, why do you keep doing this?" I said exasperatedly.  
"Why do you keep pushing me away? What is it that you really want? What do you want, Bella? Do you really oppose to us?"

Then I looked into her eyes and said softly, "Bella… why are you fighting this? Wasn't it that you said you love me?"

I saw her eyes widen and I saw panic in them. So I elaborated. "Bella, the night after the storm when you slept in my arms… it was very late and I was tired so when I thought that you had gone to sleep I let slumber take me. But then, I felt you pull your body closer to me that half your body was already on my chest…

"I felt you touch my face… and I felt you move your face closer to me until I felt your mouth move on my ear and felt three warm shots of breath… then with the lightest touch, you kissed me.

"You don't know how great your effect is on me that I could feel the faintest slightest change in you – you're every movement that from your gentle motions I awoke at once. I abandoned the thought of letting you know I was awake to kiss you back with an even greater resolve.

"Bella, I knew those three puffs of breath on my ear were the words I wanted to hear. You said you love me that night. I can never forget that. From that moment, I had resolved that I would marry you.

"Bella…"

I watched as I saw more tears brimming on her lids. She was biting her lips to keep them from falling. Through her sudden downcast of eyes I knew she remembered.

I lifted her chin with my finger and made her meet my gaze.

"Bella, please tell me that what I had just said was not a dream. Please tell me that happened – tell me it's real. Is it real, Bella?"

Reluctantly, she gave a half-nod.

"Then why Bella? Why can't you let me love you?"

She looked down again and bit her lip but tears ran down her face anyway.

Her silence was very frustrating right now that I couldn't help my outburst. I could feel the answer screaming against the silence but I didn't get why she held back.

"Make me understand, Bella. I don't get it. Am I not enough for you? Was there anything I did wrong? What do I need to do? What do I have to do for you to let me love you? What do you want, Bella? What _do _you want? Answer me!" I said, unintentionally making raising my voice and shaking her slightly. I really could not comprehend why Bella would pull me in then push me back.

My body trembled from the despair and frustration that I felt as well as from the anxiety of this. She looked at me with big eyes but she didn't fight back.

Jasper and the others quickly went inside the room and at once the girls were at Bella's side and the guys each had a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward," Jasper said warningly, his voice like ice cutting through me but I couldn't let go.

I just continued to look at Bella. I watched as she took a deep breath and shook her head at Jasper then she signed something to Rosalie.

I let her go. I watched as she signed something to Jasper and he nodded. Jasper then ushered the others out the room and left Bella, Rosalie and I.

Rosalie then looked at me devoid of emotion and said, "She wants me to interpret for you. She will talk in sign."

I nodded. Finally Bella was going to talk to me.

Bella never let her eyes off of me as she signed. Rosalie was kind enough not to edit nor offer any reaction of what she signed.

I waited patiently as Rosalie started translating.

"Edward, you want an answer, I'll give you the answer. The reason, the real reason I push you away is that I'm not good for you. I've already put my family and Jasper's family through a lot of painful ordeals. I don't want to do that to you not when you deserve so much better."

I stared at her as rage from the absurdness of her words engulfed me and said, "That's not true! Don't you –

She raised her palms forward to let her finish. I shut up.

Then they continued.

"I'm not perfect. I can never be. You deserve someone better."

"Bella, you're nothing short of perfect! If I didn't need and want you in my life I would never have asked you to marry me!" I protested.

She looked crushed at my words then continued.

"That's exactly it, Edward. It scares me. It scares me that I'm never enough for you. What if I said yes to your proposal? Wait, scratch that, _nodded _at your proposal? You deserve someone to say that 'Yes. I will marry you. I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life.'

"What if we're at the altar already, then you say your vows to me and all I could give you is my silence? Or someone to read my letter? You would hear them from someone – not me. You deserve better than that. You deserve to feel every ounce of emotion and commitment from every word of the vows.

"What if somehow we get through the vows, that when the moment of 'I Do's' come and I could do nothing but answer in nod? I can't live with myself like that."

"But Bella, it doesn't matter."

She shook her head and angry tears flooded out as her face contorted into pain, "But it matters to me."

I couldn't answer.

"You don't understand how it feels. You don't know how it is that I feel whenever you would talk to me, make me feel special, whisper sweet words to me… you don't know how it feels when I hear you say you love me and I can't say it back. You don't know how scared I am that I could lose you at any given moment because I'm not enough to hold you to me.

"You don't understand each time I see girls ogling you wherever we went and how each would talk to you… flirt with you… compliment you… ask things about you… that I can't do that. "

"Bella, their words are shallow but yours run deep. Don't you even as much as think that you are inferior to them!" I practically shouted at her. "Your eyes say more than whatever leaves their mouths." But she continued.

"I know that there are options. I tried a lot before but failed each time. I would see two faces. One of infectious ecstasy and one sympathy and disappointment… I see them in my family and Rosalie's family. I see…

Rosalie stopped and looked at Bella with tears welling in her eyes. "Bella, we didn't know you felt that way." What? What did she say?

Bella signed once more to Rosalie.

Rosalie wiped her eyes then nodded, "To continue… I'm sorry I won't edit anything out…Bella said that: I see the hope in their eyes and they do leave me pressured to believe that it should work… it had to… too much was already invested into each procedure. Time, money, emotion…

"Then through all the failed attempts I saw pity and sympathy in their eyes and I don't want to see them in you Edward.

"I know that it seems so pessimistic of me but I did think about the possibility that one might work but how many procedures would it have to be? When would it be? What would it be? It scares me.

"I would try again in a heartbeat if you wish it but I can't bear it if I disappoint you. What if I'm stuck like this for the rest f my life? I'm scared of hoping Edward. I'm scared of failing, especially for you."

"Bella, I would never let you go through something you don't want to do. There is nothing to accept because you are already perfect in my eyes and I wouldn't change a thing."

"But that's just it, Edward. I want to change for you. I want it so badly. You have already done so much to accommodate me that I want to try and do this for you – go through all the procedures for you but I'm scared that they won't work that I would only end up disappointing you. And I would hurt from not giving you my voice. I can't make you go through all of that. You should be with someone who could give it to you without having to go through all this."

"Bella –

I was about to protest but she raised her palms to stop me.

"Let me explain."

She then moved closer to me. And I couldn't help but be shocked and feel an overwhelming love course through me at what she said.

"You deserve someone to… appreciate you… the whole of you…all that you are…

"You deserve someone who can compliment you… say how beautiful you are…inside and out… appreciate every strand of hair on your head… every mole… every inch of your warm skin…

"You deserve someone who can thank you for everything… every little thing you do… someone to appreciate and boast of how kind, compassionate, loving and selfless you are…

"You deserve someone who can say sorry for what grievance that they did to you… sorry for every time you got hurt… sorry for each time you were let down… and see the beauty in your unconditional forgiveness…

"You deserve someone who can… ask you just how you're doing – call you at the unlikely times… just to hear your voice…or to just call… just so you know you've crossed her mind for the millionth time…

"You deserve someone to say that she misses you even if you've only just gone for five minutes.

"You deserve someone who… laughs at your jokes, joke back – engage in your witty banter.

"You deserve someone to say that she loves the way your bronze hair is always messy but… sexy at the same time…" Bella blushed at this. I could not believe all that I'm hearing.

"…or how you would run your hands on them whenever you feel nervous… someone to say that she loves it when you sing… talk passionately of your devotion to your music and family…

"Someone who says that she loves your deep green eyes that were so deep like there was an endless forest of evergreens in them… that she could go on forever delving deeper into that forest…just so she could get lost in them – get lost in you.

"Someone who says that it's hardly fair that you have such an effect on people when you smolder them with your eyes… dazzling them…but best of all… though unfair… dazzle her into doing anything…

"Someone who says that she loves the way you look at her as if she was the only woman in the world…

"Someone who can tell you that you owned her – all of her…

Bella was only an arms reach in front of me. I couldn't… speak nor move… I just let the words sink in…she looked at me with those beautiful big eyes of hers that spoke nothing but the truth.

"You deserve someone who can say your name and hear the love that covers it that the mere mention of your name catches her breath and entices waking emotions…

"You deserve someone… who… who can… who can say 'I love you' over and over and over again… someone who can say I love your bronze hair, your crooked smile…

"You deserve to hear that you're loved the moment you wake up and the time before you sleep every day of your life… you deserve to feel loved completely…

"You deserve someone who says I love it when you play for me…" _Me? _She used 'me' not 'someone'? My heart started going into overdrive. Oh Bella…

She was so close now. So close that I would only need to lean down a bit to kiss her.

"You deserve someone to say that she loves the feeling of closeness… intense closeness… if only to feel the spark run through her body… someone who says I love it when…"

She paused and moved even closer that I could feel her breathing pick up and I knew her heart was pulsating as fast as mine.

"Someone who says I love it when you hold me…kiss me –

I cut her off there and kissed her – k_issed her hard._ She parted her lips in invitation that I immediately accepted and we kissed passionately as if we almost lost each other – and for a minute there I thought we did. But here we were, getting lost again. Hearing her words made me understand the depth of her love for me. I now felt that maybe I didn't deserve her but to hell with it. I was selfish. I wanted her – all of her. I needed her. I love her. The fighting is over.

We kissed hungrily and eagerly that we had to stop to catch our breaths.

I cradled her face and began trailing kisses along her face, jaw and throat. "You. are. Perfect."

"I don't need to hear the words, not when I can feel them all the same. All I need is you. I need you in my life Bella. I can't live without you. I want you in my life now, tomorrow and for the rest of my life and I think even then I would still love you. Don't you see how perfect you really are? Don't you see how selfless and beautiful and completely loving you are?'

"I love you, I love you, I love you, my Bella."

I wiped the tears of joy that ran down her uplifted face but then she moved back slightly to sign something to Rosalie who was halfway out the door.

I looked at Rosalie, "She's asking if you're sure."

I rolled my eyes at Bella. "Bella,"

Her eyes grew wide in but the joy never left them as she signed very quickly to Rosalie. Nope. There's no turning back now, Ms. Swan. I won't let you go.

So I grabbed each of her hands and took them in mine and looked at her square in the eyes.

"Bella," I started.

She looked at me with her mouth open and attempted to pull her hands from mine. No, Bella. Don't protest anymore.

She looked like she wanted to say something but I heard all that I needed to hear so with a serious voice I said to her struggling form,

"Bella. Shut up."

She blinked then I smiled at her and she stopped struggling and smiled back.

Then we kissed once more. This time, we were finally alone.

Hands and lips were everywhere that it was becoming difficult standing up.

"Get a room!" a deep booming voice called out followed by an equally booming laugh.

We didn't break apart from our kiss. We couldn't. But I had to somehow show my damn brother of his mood-annoying ways. So still holding Bella, I carefully turned us around while tracing kisses on her cheek until I could face Emmett and give him "do-not-disturb" glare.

He winked then all of them went out the house laughing, hooting and gushing.

I then lifted Bella much to her surprise, carried her to her room and laid her on the bed and I laid beside her.

We faced each other on the bed and I grinned as I saw her finally smiling at me – giving me that look of pure love that sent me over the edge. I reached out and tucked a strand of hair on her ear and she closed her eyes as she sighed when I caressed her cheek.

She moved closer to me and I encircled my arms around her small but beautiful body. I kissed her hair over and over again and stroked it along her back.

"I love you," I whispered into her hear when I pulled her face closer to me.

She opened her eyes to look at me then she mouthed "I love you too."

Even if she made no sound, I heard it. I heard it out loud.

I cannot even begin to measure the intensity of the bliss I felt right now. It was finally over. I love her, she loves me. We can finally be.

I looked at her then she yawned.

"You've been through so much today, love. You should sleep," I whispered.

Her eyes were drooping and I knew she was fighting sleep. She shook her head and pulled herself closer to me.

I kissed her nose, "Come on love, I promise I'll be here when you wake up. I won't leave."

She shook her head again but her eyes were heavy. I chuckled. Always stubborn, my Bella…

"Okay, I'll just sing then until you sleep."

She gave me a look at said, it wasn't fair. I chuckled.

"Sleep my Bella. We still have tomorrow. I love you."

She yawned then nodded. But she still tried to keep awake.

So I started to sing her lullaby while I stroked her hair and rubbed her arm that was around my neck.

I watched her as her eyes fluttered close and open until she finally decided to let them close. I kissed her forehead and saw her smile contentedly, and I felt her warm breath on my neck.

Then she did something I didn't expect when I closed my eyes momentarily. In one swift movement, she pulled herself over me until she was completely on top of me.

I opened my eyes to see her looking at me with her brown orbs swimming with love. Then I saw the corners of her lips move up and form into that brilliant smile of hers that I couldn't help but smile back as I reached out to touch her face.

She moved her face closer to mine that my heart was beating madly again and my breathing quickened. She then leaned down, closed her eyes while both her hands were on my face then she kissed me. Just a short chaste kiss that left me dazed.

The she went back to her side, laid her head on my chest then started drifting to sleep.

That short sweet kiss made my eyes water from how real this really was. She was really here in my arms. I really could not believe that she hugged me, kissed me, and said that she loves me.

I kissed her hair once more and held her tighter and closer to me and finally at peace I slept with the biggest smile on my face.

**

* * *

Bella**

After giving Edward a short kiss I reminisced on what happened. He found me! He found me in the park… before that I went up to his place to try and talk to him. I wanted to say good-bye to him and tell him that I wouldn't be coming back from Arizona…

But that was a lie I had concocted.

I was afraid of the truth. I was afraid of the consequences that came with the truth.

The truth was I wanted to come to him and beg him to take me back. I didn't know how to do it without words but I wanted so badly to just see him.

Either way, seeing him would only entail I make a choice.

Run away? Or fight for us not against us.

So I paced back and forth in front of the building when the doorman approached me. He looks like he recognized me. I was embarrassed that I didn't.

He was young with dirty blond hair and he was chatting with a vivacious redhead before he walked up to me.

In a friendly tone he asked me, "Miss, can I help you with something?"

I blushed then shook my head. I knew he was going to say something else but I smiled at him then just walked away. He might call Edward or something. I realized I wasn't ready to face him yet so I walked away.

And I wound up on the bench where we met in Central Park.

Then I started to think about what happened this afternoon.

I couldn't believe that he knew what I did… he _heard _me say that I love him. When he asked me if that was real, I had a decision to make.

If I decided to lie and say no, then I knew that he would give up on me. That's what I wanted to say – no, that's what I thought I _had _to say. He deserves much more than me. He has to know that. The closest to an I love you that I ever said came out in three puffs of breath. I felt the gravity of reality pull me down to earth.

But then, I nodded yes. How could I lie about loving him? I love him. That was the truth. Then I saw the anguish, the anger and the confusion from his green eyes as he asked me why I was pushing him away.

Edward, didn't you see from those three shots of breath that it's the closest you'll get to actually hear them from me? Were you content with that? Will you be forever content with that?

Sure you might be okay with it now but I'm scared of what the future may bring. I thought about how wonderful it would be to say yes to him… marry him…

But then I think about the vows… the 'I do's… how could I ever express what I feel about him? Sure action speaks louder than words but sometimes… words make the biggest impact…

Sure you could see and feel the actions… but wouldn't you want someone confirming these actions nor do these actions to confirm what is said? I always believed that actions only confirm what is said like when you say I love you to someone then you kiss that person, you affirm what you said.

As I signed everything I wanted to say to Edward with Rose's help, I never looked away from Edward. I watched as emotions shifted through his handsome face.

I saw the anguish. I saw the despair. I saw the disbelief. I saw the concern. I saw love.

I didn't know that I was moving closer to him that I couldn't help but say at the end that he deserved someone to say that I love it when he holds me…kiss me…

And at once he kissed me that I couldn't hold back anymore. So I kissed him back. I truly love him. I wanted him, I needed him, and he was everything.

I knew I was being selfish but I wanted this. And even after hearing me try to convince him to leave me, he did the opposite and stick with me.

After all that I said, he still wanted me. I couldn't believe it!

I know that there were still issues that we had to sort out and I was still frightened by the future but right now none of it mattered.

I'm giving up.

The fight is over.

He won.

He owned me already for quite some time now and by the way he never left me… the way he held me to him… the way he kissed me… I knew he was mine as well.

I was about to let sleep take over when I saw my cell phone blinking on the bedside table. I reached out for it and saw that I had a message. When I saw the name of the sender, my heart beat rapidly and I started to feel panic rising. I wasn't ready to handle _this _yet.

I was too chicken to read the message knowing for sure what it contained. So I opened it, without reading it and saved it in a folder. I would read it eventually. But not now.

All that mattered right now was me in Edward's arms.

I sighed then closed my eyes breathing in Edward's amazing scent.

As long as Edward was here, I would be okay with whatever happens next.

* * *

**AN: The song is "Sea of Love" by Cat Power. I'm sorry for the lyric insert but I just had to. Anyway, it's only at the beginning. You guys have to understand that this song inspired the story. The conversation in this chapter was what I thought about suddenly during the long drive home I told you about in the first chapter and all the pieces fell into place after that. **

**Oh, and I couldn't help but place a short entry of what Bella felt thought to better help in understanding what happened. **

**I love you guys! 200 people have this story on alert and I have over 17,000 hits. That's a lot considering it's been just two months! But I'll love you even more and update soon if I could get 60 reviews for this chapter. So that would mean that I hope we reach 400 reviews. I don't think that's too much considering the amount of hits and I got 55 reviews for chapter 13 but sadly, I got less for the previous chapter… (only 37)...I worked so hard on this and I do wish I could get more feedback. But of course, I'm grateful for all that you guys have done for me so far! **

**Thanks again! Much love, **

**Margaux**


	16. Chapter 16: Let's Do Brunch

**AN: 12/01/08. I've edited this chapter as I wasn't able to edit it before. Oh and yes, Seattle Grace Hospital is a fictional hospital but let's just pretend that it exists here. :) But there are really some some hospitals in the US that has the name "Grace Hospital" so let's just say that they opened a branch. Apparently, someone yanked my chain and I have Joykohl to thank for pointing this out. So thanks. :)

* * *

**

_I'm giving up._

_The fight is over._

_He won._

_He owned me already for quite some time now and by the way he never left me… the way he held me to him… the way he kissed me… I knew he was mine as well._

_I was about to let sleep take over when I saw my cell phone blinking on the bedside table. I reached out for it and saw that I had a message. When I saw the name of the sender, my heart beat rapidly and I started to feel panic rising. I wasn't ready to handle this yet. _

_I was too chicken to read the message knowing for sure what it contained. So I opened it, without reading it and saved it in a folder. I would read it eventually. But not now._

_All that mattered right now was me in Edward's arms._

_I sighed then closed my eyes breathing in Edward's amazing scent._

_As long as Edward was here, I would be okay with whatever happens next.

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 16: Let's do Brunch**

**Edward**

_Mmmm..._

This feels so good. I felt something pleasant on my arm. It was going back and forth… there was something… touching my arm… it was so light… soft… warm…it felt almost like a…

Wait a minute. Back up. _Am I being caressed?_

My pulse started to pick up as I remembered. I inhaled.

_Ah. Freesias and strawberries…_

I could _smell_ her.

Then my mouth parted when I felt a light touch on my lips. I also felt a small vibrating movement that seemed like the ones we feel when we laugh.

I could _feel _her.

I then realized that I felt a weight on my chest that I reached out and touched a shoulder…my hands making their way up to a long neck… then cradled a face. I felt a sigh of warm breath against my hands.

I could _touch _her.

My heart skipped a beat when I felt a small pressure on my lips that I couldn't help but smile. _Mmmm… strawberry…_

I could _taste _her.

_Could this be real? Could I really be waking up with an angel before me?_

Slowly, I opened my eyes. As I adjusted to the sudden brightness of sunlight, my eyes cleared and all I could see was brown… deep brown… beautiful brown…

I blinked then smiled.

I could _see _her.

I watched as her lips moved and mouthed what I presumed was my name. Seeing my name form on her lips was so new and it sent shivers down my b. Despite everything,

I could _hear _her.

"Good morning love," I whispered, my voice unintentionally rough. I saw a glorious smile lit my love's face and saw the beautiful crimson on her ivory skin. My love looked so radiant with her chocolate brown eyes sparkling and her long mahogany hair wavy and messy that I thought I would find feathers in them like she just came down from flying…

I stroked her hair and touched her back then rubbed it.

She eyed me curiously but her smile never left.

I chuckled then said, "I was searching for wings."

I smiled wider when she swatted me playfully on the chest as she blushed a deeper shade of red. This was so surreal, I can't believe it. I can't believe that I'm actually waking up and the first thing I saw was her.

I cupped her face. "Is this real? Are you really here?"

She looked at me and giggled soundlessly.

"I'm serious! Did I die? Are you my angel?"

She stopped giggling and wrinkled her nose as she turned red again.

"Are you really here with me, Bella?" I asked while locking my eyes with hers. God, she's so beautiful.

She bit her lip and I smiled wider. With that heartbreaking smile of hers, she nodded.

I smiled ruefully, "Prove it."

She rolled her eyes. Of course she would.

"Prove to me that you're really here and that I'm not dreaming!" I pushed.

She glared at me playfully then she broke into a mischievous smile.

I watched with wonder as she leaned closer. It was then that I noticed that she was completely on top of me. My skin was burning and my heart hammering once more… my breathing sped up as I saw her close her eyes.

She placed her palms on both sides of my face and I closed my eyes as I felt her lean in closer – her body sliding up my torso. I smiled in anticipation as I could feel her breath on my parted lips. I was eagerly waiting for a kiss when she –

She moved her fingers to my waiting mouth then...

"Ow, ow, ow!"

With her other hand she pinched my nose – long and _hard._

I opened my eyes at once and sat up with one motion abruptly while I clutched my nose. Ouch.

I glared at her while rubbing my nose.

She was biting her lip, looking apologetic and very much amused at the same time. It looked like she was fighting the urge to laugh.

"You thought that was funny, don't you?"

A hand flew to her chest and her eyes widened in mock distraught as if to say, _Who me? _

I scowled at her.

She broke into a smile but quickly clamped her mouth to hide it. But her quivering shoulders gave her away. She looked so cute but I wasn't falling for that this time. She tricked me after all.

Two can play at this game.

I sighed dramatically and pretended to grumble. It was childish, I know, but I was too happy to care.

I turned my back on her.

"Okay, we... better go down soon..." I said in a slow tone while I slid my feet off the bed and let them reach the floor.

_Three._

_Two_

I felt a hand on my shoulder. With my back still to her I smirked. I was going to get my pay back! So putting on a sad face, I tilted my face slightly to see her. I saw that she looked at me with big eyes and that precious pout of hers... evidently sorry. _ So cute._

I sighed though I almost laughed. "It's okay. Come on, let's go."

She shook her head frantically then hugged my neck from behind. She rested her head on the crook of my neck.

"Why? Do you feel sorry, Bella?" I teased.

She looked up at me, still pouting and nodded.

"You don't _look _sorry..."

While she was still pressed up slightly behind me – it felt good by the way – she took my face in her hands and made me face her slightly. I saw apology written all over her face. Oh no. I'm going to cave in any minute now. I have to act fast – Oh!

"Oh? Prove it," I dared again, the corners of my mouth straining upwards.

She looked at me in shock then she smirked.

"Well?" I prompted, raising an eyebrow.

She frowned.

"Okay, you're not sorry..."

With a long sigh she cut me off then gave me a peck on the lips.

I smiled at her then turned around to face her, my hands snaking their way around her waist.

"That's it?"

She smiled ruefully then bit her lip. Oh my, she's doing it again! Sending me into a frenzy!

"I think I deserve more than a peck? You did hurt my nose you know."

She looked at me with guilt in her eyes.

I chuckled, "You look like you've committed a murder!"

She scowled. I took that opportunity by falling on top of her on the bed but still mindful of my weight.

My hands were still on her back as I supported my body with my elbows.

I growled cajolingly as I took in her bewildered look.

She glared at me as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Oh come on love, I just want to kiss you."

Her glare melted and a smile broke into her lovely face. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I smiled back at her as I leaned down to capture her lips with mine.

We kissed slowly... tenderly... our lips lingering against each other... just marveling at how real this all was. I felt my hair being knotted by her fingers that I pulled her closer to me.

"Ahem."

I groaned and I felt Bella frown against my lips.

Giving one last kiss I rolled off of Bella and prepared myself for the wrath that was to be.

And here he was, clad in a gray button down that matched his eyes which was frosting over was a frowning Jasper.

He looked at us with raised brows and his arms across his chest.

"As I was saying, I'm extremely happy for you guys, you know that right?"

We nodded at him.

"Took you long enough too," he muttered under his breath.

"Sorry?" I said, hiding the grin that was threatening to escape.

"As much as I'm _thrilled _with your newfound love and all... as well as... this very _not at all_ inappropriate...ah...disposition, I was voted to come up here to get you guys up so we could do brunch," Jasper said as calm as he could but I could feel the heavy sarcasm in emphasized parts of what he said.

"Sorry Jasper, but to clear the confusion, um, nothing happened, okay?"

He held his hands up, "Stop. What you do in your own time, I don't really want to know the details."

Bella's brow furrowed as she signed frantically to Jasper.

Then Jasper snickered, "Stop, stop. Okay, I know nothing happened. Alice was right – that _was _fun."

We both glared at him.

"Anyways, you guys should go down now. We're all starving. Get dressed for we leave in twenty minutes. Edward, Alice brought you clothes. They're on the guest bathroom."

I nodded at him, "Thanks."

He nodded back and smiled, "We'll wait for you guys at my house next door."

"Really? You actually go to your real house?" I couldn't help it.

He rolled his eyes, "This is Bella's house – I'm just someone who sleeps here most of the time. Anyway, I won't be needing to now, won't I?" He said that with a knowing look.

I chuckled, "We'll be there shortly."

"You'd better!" Then he walked out.

I looked back at Bella and kissed her forehead. "We should go get ready."

She nodded then she crawled out of bed the same time that I stood up. I watched her enter her bathroom then made my way to the guest bathroom.

I smiled. Today's the first day that we're actually together. I was hers and she was mine. Of course I haven't forgotten my proposal to her and I still intend to marry my Bella. Yet, I had to wait for the proper time... and what better way to spend time than to plan thoroughly. Ah, yes. Excellent.

* * *

...

We were all huddled up in the largest booth on a local diner. There were still two things I couldn't get over. The first would be how very creepily coincidental that both my siblings were dating people whom Bella has called family ever since. The second would be that I'm actually dating Bella officially now. Not to mention how gorgeous she looks right now.

I couldn't help but tuck a strand of her loose wavy hair on her neck as I bent down to whisper to her, "You look so beautiful." I earned a lovely blush as a response from her.

"Aw. That's so cute!" Rosalie gushed then she smacked Emmett's arm, sending his half-bitten muffin over the other table.

"Hey, baby, what was that for?" Emmett raised an eyebrow at Rosalie.

Rosalie glared at him and sighed as she shook her head, "Why can't you be sweet and tender like that anymore?"

Everyone started to hold their snickering and chuckling.

Emmett looked apalled but then he wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, "But babycakes, I am sweet and especially _tender _sometimes...But I thought you wanted - "

Everyone raised their hands to stop him and protested before he completed that sentence.

Alice covered her ears, "My ears are bleeding! I am emotionally scarred for life! Hello, little sister is in the room!"

"Ugh. Emmett, why do you keep embarrassing me!" Rosalie sighed exasperatedly then she looked at Jasper who had a deadpan expression but his eyes were unsteady.

"Oh come on, Jazz," Rosalie snorted.

Jasper shook his head slowly. "No. I can't even look at you right now, Rose."

"Oh what are we? Thirteen? Jazz we're already twenty-five for goodness' sake."

"Still..."

Emmett and I chuckled.

"It's not like you're that innocent. Sure you don't kiss and tell, brother of mine, but being a doctor, you can't fool me."

Suddenly, we forgot what was funny as Emmett and I froze and looked from Alice to Jasper then back to Alice whose looked so red and her eyes were threatening to pop out.

Bella was the only one smiling though she hid it by taking a long sip of her orange juice, breaking the sudden silence that I swear we could hear crickets.

I couldn't say anything. Sure we were all of age. But to know this information – to know who are in this information – you're in for a lot of scarring visuals.

I continued to just stare at Alice with wide eyes.

Emmett spoke up, "You – you, my baby sister – my twenty-one year old baby sister, _diddling _a twenty-five year old!!!"

Alice glared at him then looked at me. I opened my mouth but words failed me. I was very traditional when it came to things like this. I'm sure it's very grandpa like but I like being classic. I knew I still had to be open-minded though but still...

Alice buried her face on her arms, "Ahhh! Edward can't even look at me anymore! SHOOT me NOW!"

"Now you know how it feels," Jasper stated for both Em and I.

I looked at him but then looked away at once.

"I'm sorry I just can't – Ah, where's a pensieve if you need one! I want to extract all these thoughts and throw them away!"

I saw Bella's mouth quiver upwards. I smiled. She was the only one who was at ease with all these. She even might think this amusing.

Rose snorted again and tossed her golden hair over her shoulder. "Oh please, _children. _To set the story right, I did it with Emmett, Jazz did it with Alice and Edward did it with Bella cased cl –

Now this time Bella's eyes widened in aghast as she signed frantically to Rosalie the same time I started protesting.

"Whoa, back up. Bella and I never went that far. We just got together officially! I thought you all knew nothing happened!"

Everyone snickered.

"Relax. We know. I was just trying to get a reaction from Bella who was clearly enjoying sibling rivalry live while drinking her pulpy drink." Rosalie breezed with a wink.

Bella scowled at her but then smiled.

"But seriously, guys. It's not a big deal. We all love each other, that's all that matters," Emmett bellowed.

"You're right," Jasper agreed.

"I'm curious, though. Was I the only one who never knew about you and Rosalie?" I asked.

Everyone was quiet.

Rosalie glared at Emmett who merely shrugged at her before looking at me, her pretty violet eyes apologetic.

"Honey, first of you can call me Rose and second, I'm sorry but yes. We've been dating for two years now and I guess it's the distance that was partly at fault. Of course the majority would rest on Emmett's shoulder," Rose glared at Emmett.

Emmett shrugged once more, "You didn't ask! And anyway, you were too busy with your music Ed. You had tours and recording and I live miles away in Seattle. In my defense, you didn't call often."

"Okay, I understand that."

"If it makes you feel better, I only just found out the last time you went home in Chicago. Remember that I came a day before you and Emmett told me all about Rose. I didn't know though that she was the same Rose that Jasper mentioned. I just met her last week," Alice added.

"Same goes for me. This was the first time I met Emmett. Rose mentioned him countless times but since she also really lives in Seattle as well, we didn't see much of each other. Oh and of course, Bella knew too but like me, she didn't know much about him," Jasper explained.

"Okay, okay. Thanks, I understand now." Then I faced Rose. "So you live in Seattle as well and you mentioned you were a doctor?"

She smiled, "Yes. Well, I'm actually a surgical intern in Seattle Grace. I want to venture into Pediatrics and possibly be an OB."

"Wow. Emmett the lawyer and Rosalie the doctor. Powerhouse couple!" Jasper mused.

Everyone laughed and Bella giggled soundlessly.

"We get that all the time," Rose laughed but then turned serious, "But hey, it's hard, you know!"

"I could imagine. So how'd you guys meet? You're worlds apart."

Emmett laughed loudly, "Now this is a funny story. I have dear daddykins to thank. He works every Saturdays at SGH, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember."

"Well, Carlisle was Rose's attending when she did her rounds at Cardiothoracics."

"Wow, that sounds so much like Meredith and Dr. McDreamy!" Alice gushed.

"Wasn't Dr. Shepard a Neurosurgeon? And come to think of it, isn't SGH, the same hospital for the sitcom?" Jasper asked.

"The very same," Rose nodded. "But the McDreamy...wow... sorry Cullen brothers but your dad's hot. He could be my McDreamy anytime..."

Emmett and I wrinkled our noses while Alice giggled. "Don't mind the boys. They just don't like to admit that these goons are nothing when they stand next to dear daddykins. Edward you should let Bella meet our parents!" she said suddenly excited.

I smiled at Bella who was smiling back at me. I took her hand in mine and kissed it – again, I was rewarded with a blush.

"I _was _meaning to ask you that even before. But would you like to meet my parents in Chicago? And I'd love to meet the chief and your mother as well," I said sincerely.

She grinned at me and nodded.

"Ahem. As much as we don't want to break your moment, I believe I wasn't finished with my story. You guys take a back seat first. Rose and I need a time under the lights too you know," Emmett said smugly.

"I'm sorry, please do continue." I said as I chuckled.

"Well dad told me to try venturing into Legal Medicine months before that so I took up some units and decided to go for it. I knew I still had more to learn to fully be a Medico-Legal lawyer but Carlisle told me that a resident Medico-Legal lawyer offered to take me under his wing. He made me assist in minor cases. Then one Saturday, I went to look for dad. He had just come from the OR.

"We were talking about my recent case when all of a sudden a big ray of sunshine stepped out of the OR, took of her surgical cap to reveal long strands of gold then she walked up to Carlisle. She looked at me and I saw the prettiest eyes i have ever seen – such a rich color of violet...then she took of her surgical mask and revealed the most beautiful face in the world that not even Helen of Troy had a say."

Rosalie looked at Emmett lovingly as she blushed from the cheesy description. I was stunned. Emmett was...his words were... romantic... Damn, he had it bad.

"And then?" I prompted.

"And then what?" Emmett snapped from gazing back at Rosalie.

"How'd you ask her out?"

"Oh! Well, Carlisle introduced us and when he got beeped Rosalie and I started making small talk. But I... didn't get the right impression on her I guess..."

"OH! So he tried his moves on you, Rose?"

Rosalie laughed, "Yes. He tried some cheesy pick up line that I'm too embarrassed to share that I left him there while rolling my eyes. But he was persistent. He kept coming back at the hospital and waited for me every lunch time until I finally said yes to him and here we are."

"How do you manage to keep the relationship alive? Both your careers are demanding on itself." Jasper asked.

"Patience and trust. And after a hundred fights, you get the hang of it." Rose answered.

"Besides...we're..."Emmett started but got cut off when Bella stood up and grabbed Rosalie's hand and we all realized how slow and hungry we were.

Sitting on top of Rosalie's hand was a big blinding rock.

Alice started shrieking and both she and Bella started jumping excitedly in front of Rose.

"You're engaged! I'm so blind, I didn't notice right away! Oh my God, please let me plan your wedding!"

"As long as Bella plays and you design my dress, then yes."

Alice hugged Rosalie and Bella hugged Rose as well.

Jasper and I punched Emmett who was beaming proudly.

"You sly dog, you," Jasper joked while elbowing Emmett.

I laughed. "Now this is a day to be marked. The day Emmett finally grew up. I think I need a tissue."

Emmett smirked, "Hilarious. Shut up, I'm happy."

On the other end, Alice and Bella kept bombarding Rose with questions. Alice practically demanded and Bella signed just as persuasive

"When? Where? How! Spill, woman!"

"Just last night when everyone left, Emmett and I were able to get a private tour of the Empire State building. Emmett was peering over the telescope then he asked me to see something he pointed out. As I peered into the scope all I saw where the lighted buildings.

"Just move slowly to your left, remember, slowly." He instructed. Then I saw the billboard in one of the buildings that caught my eye.

It read,

"Dr. Hale, I love you. Will you be my Rose 'til death do us part?"

"My jaw dropped then I looked behind me and saw Emmett down on his knee, holding out a ring. Then with his gorgeous smile, he asked – "

"Baby, will you marry me?" Emmett finished for Rose. "Then she started crying and she said that one little word that made me the happiest bastard in the crime-ladden world."

"I said yes of course then he slipped the ring on my finger and stood up to level with me. Then we kissed and that's that," Rose finished.

"Awwww...." Alice gushed as she wiped a few tears on her eyes. Jasper helped wipe them while he chuckled. He kissed her cheek and smiled at Rose and Em.

I saw that Bella was crying as well and I kissed them all away. That was beautiful, I had to admit.

Bella grinned then signed something to Rosalie.

Rosalie smiled at her and said, "Thanks, Bella."

Alice asked Jasper, "What did she say?"

"She said that she's very happy for them," Jasper said.

"Does mom know?" I asked.

"Not yet. Anyway, we're flying tomorrow there for thanksgiving. Why don't you guys come to Chicago with us? You could bring your dad." Emmett answered.

Jasper nodded, "We'd like that. You're coming too, right Bells?"

Bella signed something to Jasper.

Jasper grinned, "All right. She said she wouldn't miss it for the world."

I smiled widely. "Then its settled. We should book tickets now."

"Ah, actually..." Alice said, her eyes twinkling.

"Let me guess, our little fortune teller saw this and prepared everything," Emmett boomed.

"Of course. But there's still something I need to do."

"Oh no." I said. This could only mean –

"Let's go shopping!" Alice proclaimed.

I groaned.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

**AN: Hello my darlings! I know its a little late but Happy Thanksgiving to all that apply! We don't celebrate that here but its nice to acknowledge other celebrations. It's probably going to take a while for the next update that's why I didn't leave a cliffhanger here. I put Emmett and Rosalie in the spotlight this chapter and I hope you like it. Maybe I'll do the same for Jasper and Alice but that's going to be tough as they're very private about their relationship. But thanks to Rosalie and Emmett, we got to know more than we bargained for. Ha ha.**

**I didn't really reach 60 reviews. I'm 11 reviews short but its all good. 49 is a hell lot! **

**A few announcements though, I just finished part two of my three-part intense drama adventure story revolving around Bella and Edward entitled "Silent Reverie." I'm so proud. For those who haven't read it yet and for those who are interested, I suggest you read the first part "White Lilies" first. The last part is in the writing board... its coming soon...**

**While waiting, a lot liked my Jasper and Bella story, "Just Say." If you're curious, start with the one shot first which is only 3 pages long "Say All I Need" then proceed with Just Say.**

**Oh and I'm putting up a new story maybe later or tomorrow that my imagination refuses to stop bombarding me with ideas. I have high hopes for that one as well. **

**So from all the hoopla of stories I have that's still in progress, I will update according to the number of most responses. So far, this one has the most. But to be safe, I'm still asking for 60 reviews, please! Help me reach 475 reviews. You guys can do it! More than 200 people have this on alert.**

**THANKS! I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

_**Margaux**_


	17. Chapter 17: Getting the Message Across

_I smiled widely. "Then it's settled. We should book tickets now."_

"_Ah, actually..." Alice said, her eyes twinkling._

"_Let me guess, our little fortune teller saw this and prepared everything," Emmett boomed._

"_Of course, but there's still something I need to do."_

"_Oh no," I said. This could only mean – _

"_Let's go shopping!" Alice proclaimed._

_I groaned. _

_This was going to be a long day._

* * *

Chapter 17: Getting the Message Across

I groaned as I glanced at my watch. It was already past eight and we were _still _shopping. But more than that – Alice was hogging Bella all day. I was with the guys as she commanded that they had some in her words "girl bonding time." Can't she grasp the "we just got together like last night" concept?

Jasper must've noticed my chagrin that he offered me a sympathetic smile.

"It's hard, isn't it? Being away with that special someone when you have just gotten together," he said.

He aimed right but I felt a wave of sympathy for him as I knew what he meant. Alice was always driving off somewhere or traveling from one country to another. But that was because she had all the time by herself to do that. I knew things would change with Jasper.

I looked at Jasper who was waiting patiently for my response. I smiled at him and nodded. He nodded back but his eyes were far away. If this was Emmett, he would've divulged somehow things about his relationship. But Jasper was also a gentleman and I knew he liked to keep things private.

"Hey Jasper, does it bother you, Alice's traveling?" I asked him.

He stopped walking and shrugged, "Not really. She's happy that way and her job demands it."

"I see."

Then his brow furrowed the slightest bit then he gave a soft loud, "Though it wouldn't hurt if we had more time together…"

Ah. We were finally getting somewhere.

"Hello ladies, talking about – _ladies?" _Emmett waltzed in carrying his new purchase of baseball gear.

I rolled my eyes at him and Jasper laughed.

"I couldn't help but overhear that you guys talked about the black haired sprite," Emmett started. "Why not talk to her about it?"

I nodded in agreement. Alice was one of the most understanding persons in the world. And I know that she loves Jasper.

Jasper smiled a bit and said, "I will…in time. I want her to enjoy her success first. We'll have our own time eventually. The only thing that matters is that she knows I love her."

He loved our sister? Wow. Though I could not deny the affection and the emotions that they had whenever they looked at each other it still made me happy to know that he really did love our sister.

Emmett chuckled, "Don't tell Rose but I think you're the exact opposite of her. When she wants something, she gets it. She's okay with being bold and forward but she knows her limits. But I could see where your similarities lie – you Hales know how to love."

We all laughed yet I knew that Jasper, not one for being under the spotlight, was itching for a topic change.

"I don't know about you guys but I'm absolutely famished and I know that we'll be needing our strength later," I said.

Emmett looked at me shocked then broke out into a mischievous grin. Jasper caught that and snickered. _Of for the love of –_

"The bags, Emmett," I said as I glared at him.

"Oh," he mouthed incredulously.

Jasper's phone rang and he answered it. It must be Alice.

Emmett and I turned away to give Jasper privacy.

"So Emmett, when's the big day?"

He grinned sheepishly, "To be honest, we don't really know yet. Maybe in a year's time?"

I chuckled, "So impulsive… anyway, brother of mine, I assume you two want a lavish wedding?"

He guffawed, "More her than me. I just want to marry her but if it's a big wedding that she wants, then that's what she gets. Oh and right, I have been meaning to ask you something." He suddenly looked awkward.

I raised my brows at him. This was unusual about Emmett. "What is it Em?"

He ran a hand through his curly hair, "Well, would you be okay with being my best man?"

I was… at a loss for words.

"All you have to do is stand beside me and make a speech and that's it but Rose wanted Bella to be her maid of honor and well I thought that maybe my only brother could be –

"Of course I'm okay with that," I cut him off smiling. "I'd be honored to."

He grinned, "Great then."

Jasper walked up to us, "Alice called and said to meet them at Tokyo Café."

"Finally some grub!" Emmett exclaimed.

…

* * *

We were halfway through dinner and I noticed that everyone missed their other half. Rosalie and Emmett kept whispering into each other as they held hands and kissed at times. I glanced at the other couple and I noticed that Jasper was watching lovingly at Alice who was taking her last bite at her strawberry parfait. When she was done she looked up at Jasper who smiled wider at her then took her hand not taking his eyes off of her. Alice reached for his other hand and smiled back at him. I looked away seeing the intensity from their eyes.

Then there was me.

I looked to my right and saw a grin flash my way that I melted. I bent down and kissed my love's cheek which burned from the contact. I pulled away and studied her gorgeous blushing face.

"Did you have fun, love?" I asked while tucking a strand of her on her ear. Bella nodded at me but something was off with her and I couldn't wrap my finger on it.

"Is something wrong, love?"

She looked at me with big eyes and shook her head. Her phone started blinking. She had a message but she just glanced at it then back at me.

I was suddenly confused. "Aren't you going to get that?"

She shook her head and shrugged dismissing it. She took her phone then put it in her pocket then turned her full attention to me.

Something was up. I was too caught up with everything to notice that she was even more quiet than usual like she was internally debating.

I was determined to know what that was and why. Everything that worries her would be my own object of worry. I was about to ask her some more but Alice spoke up.

"We better go and get a good night's sleep. We have an early flight tomorrow," Alice said.

Everyone agreed so we paid our bill – well – Emmett paid then we went our ways. Emmett and Alice crashed at my place while Jasper stayed with Bella tonight. I would have to ask Jasper tomorrow if he knows something. Knowing him, he would be one of the first persons to notice Bella's change.

…

* * *

My siblings and I hailed a cab and went straight to the airport where Bella and the Hales were waiting. When we arrived, we saw Rosalie at once seated beside a tall blonde man who very much resembled an older looking Jasper only he had Rosalie's violet eyes.

Rosalie noticed us at once and walked over to Emmett right away and gave him a big kiss. Then she smiled and turned to us.

Emmett shook the blonde man's hand, "Nice to see you again, Jude."

The man smiled at him and patted his back, "Good to see you too, Emmett and congratulations to you both."

Emmett laughed then gave a funny look to Rosalie who shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, it couldn't wait!"

Jude Hale looked from Rosalie to Emmett then chuckled, "I assume the Cullens don't know yet? Now I feel so special." Then he looked at me and Alice.

He shook Alice's hand first then gave her a soft smile, "You must be Alice. Jasper has spoken fondly about you."

Alice blushed, "Yikes, should I be worried?"

Jude chuckled then shook his head, "Not at all." Then he looked at me and grinned.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Hale. I'm Edward Cullen," I said as politely as I could.

"Oh I know who you are and please, call me Jude." Then he looked at me appraisingly, "So you're the one who stole Bella's heart. You're very lucky."

"I know I am," I said truthfully.

"I've always looked at Bella as my own especially now that she's far away from her parents. She's a very sweet person," he said indulgently.

"Yes. She is." I agreed smiling as I thought about the many reasons why I love Bella.

Jude looked at Rosalie then at Alice and me. "It gives me great joy that my kids are happy. Oh and if it weren't for you my dear Alice and Edward, I would've forced Jasper and Bella to get married against their will."

Alice and I laughed nervously.

Seeing the looks on our faces, Jude smiled. "Just kidding. You both are perfect for them. Speaking of which, the two went to get coffee for everyone."

Finally! I knew where my love was. "Well, if you excuse me maybe I should go and help them."

Jude nodded at me then looked at Alice, "Alice, my dear, Jasper told me about your clothing line and I think I can get you to meet with people in Paris. Jasper might've mentioned that my wife was in the clothing business and I think I still some of her contacts in Paris."

I saw Alice's eyes widened as she and Mr. Hale engaged in animated chatter. I chuckled then started walking towards the airport's cafeteria and I spotted Bella and Jasper waiting in front of a café. I was about to go walk up to them when I noticed that both had a sullen expression.

They were both signing to each other and I saw the pucker in Bella's forehead and Jasper's frustration. Bella was being stubborn about something.

I was right, something was up.

Then Jasper noticed me then forced a smile. Bella followed Jasper's gaze then she smiled at me. I smiled back at her as I walked towards her.

I scooped her up in a big hug as I kissed her forehead. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and I stroked her hair. While doing that I gave Jasper a questioning look to which he sighed then shook his head. I got what he was saying. Bella won't budge on something.

I would have to talk to Bella later but right now wasn't the time. "Hey there love, Hey Jasper. Your father told me where to find you guys and I thought you needed a hand."

Bella grinned at me and nodded. "Yeah, we got coffee for everyone," Jasper said. "So where's Alice?"

"She's talking rather animatedly with your father," I said.

Jasper looked worried a bit, "Oh no. He might share more than what is needed! You think you guys can handle this? I have damage control to do."

I chuckled and Bella giggled soundlessly. "Go ahead Jasper."

I looked down at my love, "You look beautiful as always."

She smacked my chest playfully then blushed.

I smiled crookedly at her then cradled her face with my hands, "You seem a bit off lately, is something bothering you, Bella?"

She blinked but then composed herself as she shook her head.

"Bella…"

She sighed and pouted then I heard her phone beep. Like last night, she dismissed it.

"I think you have a message," I pointed out.

She just shrugged.

"Bella, is there somebody bothering you? I know you've been ignoring calls and messages lately. Who are they from?" I half-demanded, half-pleaded.

I could see the panic and irritation in her brown eyes as she shook her head. She folded her arms then leant on the wall. I placed my palms on the wall near the sides of her face.

"Bella, please tell me. I know something's up. Whatever it is, I promise we _will _handle it _together."_

She scowled at me but then the longer she looked up at my worried eyes her features softened and she sighed.

She took out her phone and began texting then she showed me what she wrote.

_Edward, I'm too scared to open them. Will you open them for me? or if he calls again, will you answer? _

I carefully read and reread what she typed and I swore I would learn sign language so we could talk rather than use these kinds of means.

"Bella, who are they from?"

Then as if on cue, her phone rang. I looked at Bella and she looked back at me expectantly. I sighed as I took her hand then answered the call.

"Hello?"

"_Oh, is this Mr. Jasper?"said a masculine voice._

"No, I'm afraid not."

"_But this is Ms. Swan's phone, is it not?"_

"It is. She asked me to receive this call."

"_I see. Well sir, I'm Alex Turner. I'm Bella's doctor."_

I couldn't answer. I looked at Bella who sat down and stared at her feet.

"I'm sorry, I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend."

"_Oh that explains it then. Well, Ms. Swan hasn't been accepting my calls nor has she replied to any of my messages. I've considered talking to her parents or Mr. Jasper Hale but it was her sole request that she receives my messages first. Anyway, the reason I've called is that we've come across a new procedure that we're sure would help Bella regain her voice back if she's still interested."_

My heart skipped a beat, "I see. Dr. Turner, was it? From what hospital do you work for?"

"_I work in Seattle Grace Hospital."_

"Oh, I see, that's great then. My father's works there once a week he's –

"_Dr. Carlisle Cullen? Yes, I'm familiar with him. He's famous."_

"Would it be possible that he's present when in case we come to meet you?"

"_No problem at all. If you have any more questions, I would be happy to answer them in any way I can. Do send my best wishes to Bella."_

"Thank you doctor."

Then I hung up and looked at Bella. I didn't know how to approach this. This was very… unexpected. I know in my heart that I love Bella just the way she was but for her to have a shot at getting her voice back… would that make her happy?

I sat beside her. she glanced up at me and gave a quick smile. I placed my arm on her shoulders and kissed her head.

"Bella, you probably know what we talked about," I started. She just gave a nod as she twiddled her thumbs.

"Bella, what are you going to do?" I asked her. it would always be her choice and I would follow her in whatever decision.

She looked at me and shrugged sadly. She was torn.

I put a finger under her chin and tilted her face towards me, "Bella, whatever you decide to do, you should only consider yourself. Don't think about what others would feel - or what I would feel. Think about what you want. Whatever you decide to do, I won't leave you. I'll support whatever you decide to do. Everyone wants you to be happy."

With that she wrapped her arms around my waist and cried on my chest. She was confused and scared. I understand that she was afraid of getting the hopes up of people who love her and how badly she wanted this.

To be honest…

I was scared myself.

I was scared that if she doesn't try this, she would regret it.

I was scared that if she did try this, there was no guarantee that it would work and I so much hated to see Bella's frustration of so many years come back again.

So I had to make sure that this procedure was safe and truly effective. I would have to ask Carlisle about this and should he recommend this and Bella agrees I would have to ask Carlisle to stay with Bella during the whole procedure… and maybe Rosalie too. If Bella agrees to this, then I pray to God that this procedure should work.

I can't bear to see Bella cry again.

"Bella, should we tell the others?"

I watched her ponder on it. Then she looked at me as if asking what I thought.

"I think… they should know love. They're worried too," I said while stroking her cheek.

She sighed then nodded.

"So, should we go back to them now or do you want some more time?" I asked her.

She shook her head then poised to stand up. She walked over to the counter then gestured for me to help her carry the trays of coffee.

She looked so out of it and my heart broke to see her suffering. I had to lighten up the mood so I changed the topic.

"You're going to love Chicago and my parents will love you as well," I beamed at her.

She smiled a bit and I saw that there were glints of excitement in her eyes but then they widened and I saw her panicking a bit.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong love? Why are you so worried?" I asked concerned.

She gave me a look that said, _you know why._

As it hit me, I chuckled, "Oh. If you ask me, the one who should be more worried would be Jasper. I'm sure Carlisle will have a nice chat with him."

She smiled a genuine smile now then sighed in relief.

"So, are you ready?"

She grinned finally as she nodded yes.

I guess that the right thing to do for the time being was to have a great thanksgiving with our family and friends before we open up about Bella's situation to the others. I still need to meet her parents as well and she needs to tell them about her situation too.

Maybe this time of fun and relaxation would help her think.

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry if this chapter is short but I'm very busy and the next update would be after the 14****th**** as that is **_**the **_**DAY. It's already my NMAT (National Medical Admissions Test) that would determine if I could enroll in Med school after I graduate. I have a week to review and practice, OMG!!! : O**

**Anyhow, at least now you know who the message is from. The only question is, what would Bella do? What do you guys think? Will she go for it or not? Why or Why not? Haha. Essay question much?**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a review!**

_**Margaux**_


	18. Chapter 18: Decisions

**AN: So I'm going to be fast forwarding this story a bit so it wouldn't drag on. Sorry for the long wait, I hope you're still with me! The story is going to end soon. **

**The italicized parts are flashbacks and the normal text would be Edward narrating. Divided into breaks so it won't be confusing. :)**

**Anyway, Happy Holidays! **

* * *

"_So, are you ready?"_

_She grinned finally as she nodded yes._

_I guess that the right thing to do for the time being was to have a great thanksgiving with our family and friends before we open up about Bella's situation to the others. I still need to meet her parents as well and she needs to tell them about her situation too._

_Maybe this time of fun and relaxation would help her think._

* * *

**Chapter 18: Decisions**

"So what are you planning to do, Bella?" Rosalie asked the beautiful woman in distress beside me and all eyes were trained to her now.

We were all in the living room with the fire burning low by the fireplace creating a dimmed look that matched the somber mood of all the people in the room and we have just dropped the bomb on them about the phone call we received the day before. I was sitting beside Bella in the middle of our large sofa. On my right side, was Jude. Jasper was sitting beside Bella with Alice on his other side. Sitting across from us were Emmett and Rosalie who shared the loveseat and of course, my parents – Carlisle and Esme sat on the smaller sofa.

I watched as she looked at every face in the room saving me for last and my heart broke when my eyes met her troubled brown eyes.

She was struggling.

I reached for her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. She gave me a half smile but then she pulled her hand away from my hand and moved to cover her face along with her other hand. She sighed and kept shaking her head. We all just looked at her. This was going to be her decision all the way.

I sighed as well thinking of how one talk could give a three-sixty on everyone. Just yesterday, we were having a very happy thanksgiving but now…

I scanned everyone in this room and began to look back at yesterday's greetings.

I first looked at Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was looking very serious and uncomfortable. He didn't know how to make light of the situation. I don't think it's even possible for anyone to do that. Then there was Rosalie who was looking sympathetic but analytical. Her pretty violet eyes were wavering with emotion against her serious façade.

* * *

"_Emmett, Alice, Edward, my darlings you're home!" Exclaimed my sweet mother as she opened the big white doors of our home._

_Emmett put his phone down and went out of the limo my mother sent to fetch us first and gave my mother a big bear hug. He was talking to his associates from his firm. He was going to come back to Seattle after Thanksgiving – both he and Rosalie._

"_Hello mamabear! Where's papabear?" Emmett said followed by his booming laugh. Once he released my mother she gave his ear a playful tug,_

"_Ouch!" he said while he rubbed his ear. Everyone laughed._

_My mother put her hands on her hips and gave a half-smile, "Papabear, is on his way from the hospital, baby bear."_

_I chuckled as I watched from the car with Bella who was looking amused as well. We were fixing some of our things. I saw that Rosalie was fighting a smile as she kept her Internal Medicine book in her bag and slid out of the car to greet Esme. She was going to change rounds when she came back to Seattle so she needed to study._

"_Hello Mrs. Cullen," she said brightly. Esme immediately hugged Rosalie. _

"_It's good to see you again, dear!" Then she pulled away and examined Rose. "Please, call me Esme. You look as lovely as ever! But you look like you lost weight."_

_Esme looked at Emmett disapprovingly, "Son, I'm ashamed of you! You should feed your girlfriend – especially since she's busy saving lives!"_

_Emmett smiled at her sheepishly, "I know, I know, I'm sorry but mother, she's, well, she's not my girlfriend anymore."_

_Esme gasped then realization dawned on her as she grabbed Rosalie's hand and examined the ring then she pulled Rosalie in for another hug as tears streamed down her face._

"_Oh my stars! You're getting married!" she said joyously._

* * *

Then I looked at Alice and Jasper. Alice looked really sad and concerned. Looking at Alice was almost as heart breaking as looking at Bella. I wasn't used to my bubbly sister looking glum. Her brows were knit and she was frowning. Jasper who was the most calm and collected person I've ever met was of course trying to do just that. Never taking his eyes off Bella, still managed to cater to Alice by pulling her closer to him to which Alice responded by holding his hand tight.

Though Jasper was doing his best to be the supportive self-proclaimed brother and best friend to Bella, I saw that he was worried – his gray eyes showed that. The only time I saw his demeanor falter was when he was gearing up to meet Esme and Carlisle. But it all quickly melted when he turned his charm on.

* * *

_Then Esme saw Alice who just emerged from the car. I nudged at Jasper who was sitting beside me. "I guess you're next, buddy." I whispered to him. Jasper smiled and nodded._

"_Oh Alice!"_

_Alice with a big smile on her face pranced towards my mother and kissed both her cheeks. "Hello mother dearest!"_

_Esme held both of Alice's hands. "My precious daughter, where is the fine young gentleman you promised I would meet."_

_Alice looked in our direction and smiled at Jasper. Jasper walked up to Esme, looking… for lack of better adjective… charming… I could sense he was using his quote, compelling, and unquote, power._

_I looked at Bella and she rolled her eyes. I chuckled and led her out the car. We stood nearby to watch._

_Jasper smiled wide at my mother and kissed my mother's hand._

"_It's such a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. I could see where Alice got her radiant looks."_

_Esme laughed and I couldn't help but snicker. Rosalie was right. Jasper was a smooth talker._

"_Flatterer! Thank you though." Esme said._

"_Mom, this is Jasper – " Alice started._

"_Jasper Whitlock," Esme finished for Alice, "I've heard nothing but nice things about you."_

_Jasper laughed, "That's good to know. I've heard Alice gush about you nonstop about your artistic pursuits."_

"_Ah yes. You're an artist and you're also an architect. We have lots to talk about! And - Oh! Edward!"_

* * *

Of course, I was also amused and excited when Bella met my mother – not to mention, _touched._ I was reminded of how much I loved my mother even more that time. I closed my eyes at the memory.

* * *

_I whispered to Bella, "It's our turn now." Bella smiled nervously at me. _

_I kissed her head, "Relax."_

_My mother walked up to me and I hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Hello mother."_

"_Oh, Edward, darling! Good to see you," she said then she looked at Bella._

"_Mother, this is – "_

"_Bella Swan!" My mother exclaimed as she hugged Bella. Bella was taken by surprise but then returned the embrace._

_My mother pulled back and smiled at Bella as she appraised her. "Edward, she's gorgeous!" _

_Bella blushed and smiled widely at my mother. Then my mother did something I didn't expect._

_She signed._

_She was signing to Bella._

_I was so touched by my mother and watched as she continued to talk to Bella in sign. Bella looked so touched that she couldn't help but cry at my mother's gesture as she signed back._

_Though I couldn't understand a thing they were saying, I felt a tug at my heart and I felt like crying myself. This meant a lot to Bella. She was worried – very worried about not being able to talk to my parents. I saw it… I saw her sadness when she saw how Rose or Jasper just talked to my mother. Now she felt at par with them. I have to thank my mother later. _

* * *

I sighed and looked at my mother who was looking at Bella as if she was her own though she just met her. Her hazel eyes were warm and concerned as she looked at Bella's crumpling form then she looked up at my father.

Looking at my father, I wanted to ask the same question my mother was trying to communicate and I know fully well that he understood. He looked at me with his kind fatherly blue eyes but his mouth was a thin line. Looking at the crease on his forehead, I wasn't accustomed to that. He was the one who had all the answers. Now he looked as helpless as we were. I looked back at how jolly he was yesterday when he met Jasper and my Bella.

* * *

"_Wow, the place looks amazing mother dearest!" I said sweetly. The place did look awesome in hues of gold and orange. No doubt my mother decorated the house for the autumn season – and of course she went extra knowing that we were expecting another full house._

_The house looked warm with all the drapes in a golden tone with hints of magenta. The center pieces were bowls of yellow and orange long stemmed roses and we could see different old gold appliqués everywhere that made the white house look richer. The carpets were authentic Persian rugs with intricate embroidery, no doubt made from real gold strewn into strings with deep red and ebony. _

"_All in a days work," my mother laughed her tingling laugh as she winked at us as we laughed with her._

"_The party started already? Without me? Esme, I'm hurt!" came a cool masculine voice._

_We all turned around to see my father smiling his uneven smile at us._

_It was Alice who rushed to give him a big hug. Carlisle laughed as he kissed Alice's head as he wrapped his arms around her._

"_Hello honey," Carlisle said sweetly. _

_Alice kissed Carlisle's cheek then pulled away. "Hi daddykins! I've missed you!"_

"_I missed you too Alice," he said._

_I saw Emmett nudge Jasper, "Always the daddy's girl, I'll tell yah!" Jasper chuckled._

_Carlisle noticed that then walked towards Emmett and Jasper. "Hi pop!" Emmett said as he gave Carlisle a one-armed hug to which Carlisle returned._

"_Nice to see you home son. Oh and you brought Rosalie!" he grinned at Rosalie._

_Rosalie walked up to Carlisle and gave him a hug. "Hi doc!"_

"_I should say the same to you! Hmm… I hope you don't get offended but you've gotten heavier." Carlisle said as he eyed Rosalie who was looking at Carlisle with a raised brow._

"_Hmm… now I know which in-law I like better. Esme said I lost weight so I'm leaning towards her," Rosalie teased and we all chuckled._

"_Yes, you definitely lost weight. I think you're heavier because of the gigantic rock on your finger," Carlisle teased back._

_Rosalie laughed as she blushed and Emmett smiled sheepishly._

"_Didn't think you had it in you son," Carlisle elbowed Emmett to which Emmett rolled his eyes._

_Then he saw Jasper, "Oh I see another blonde here. Goodness, I have competition!"_

_Alice giggled, "Dad this is Jasper Whitlock."_

_Jasper offered his hand to Carlisle who shook it, "Pleasure to meet you Doctor Cullen."_

_Carlisle smiled at him, "Same goes for me. So…"_

_Jasper kept smiling, waiting for the father talk._

"_So Mr. Whitlock, you're the one who tamed my sprightly baby girl."_

_Alice rolled her eyes and we all stifled our mirth._

"_Well, I'd love to have a chat with you later as I see another competition for the hottest male blonde of the house – Hey Jude!"_

_Jude mocked a cringe at the allusion then went to shake Carlisle's hand. Oh right, they've met before as Jude told me while on the ride home._

"_It's been almost forty something years and I still manage to get the 'Hey Jude' greeting," He complained._

"_Yeah well, the Beatles aren't dead yet," Carlisle explained. Then he spotted Bella and me._

_I went over to give my father a hug. "Hi dad, this is Bella."_

_Carlisle grinned at Bella who flashed a smile of her own to him as she extended her hand. My father, always the charmer didn't shake it but instead kissed it earning a blush from Bella and an eye roll from me._

_Emmett bent down and whispered in Bella's ear but failed to "adjust the volume" whether intentional or not. "He does that a lot so it's hard to bring girls home without our dad charming them."_

_Carlisle ignored that and turned her full attention to Bella. "You must be the delightful girl who brought light to our brooding son."_

_Bella giggled soundlessly. Then Carlisle started talking to Bella – in sign! I was again touched that my parents went as far as learn sign language just for Bella. Bella looked like she was holding back tears and I couldn't do anything but beam at my parents._

_Emmett broke the silence, "Now that everyone's here, I'm ready for some turkey!"_

* * *

Now back to the present.

Taking one last deep breath, Bella uncovered her face then looked at me then at everybody.

She signed something to which Jasper translated.

"She's asking about our thoughts in the matter," he said.

"Bella, it doesn't matter what we think. Just know that we're here for you all the way and no matter what you decide and no matter what the outcome is, we're here for you. Don't think about us, sweetie, think about what you want," Rosalie said softly.

Bella let the words sink in and gave Rose a nod.

I rubbed her back, "Bella, Rose is right. You do what makes you happy. What makes you happy makes us happy."

Bella simply nodded then looked at Carlisle and signed.

Carlisle patiently watched Bella finish before talking. "Bella asked for my medical opinion. I haven't done that kind of procedure myself but I heard a lot of success stories. I would have to talk with your doctors, Bella and do research myself to make sure it's safe. And I promise that should you agree to do this and if I see that it's okay to do the surgery I would scrub in and assist in the surgery. I'm sure Rosalie would love to scrub in as well."

Rose nodded earnestly, "Of course. I'd be there in a heart beat."

Bella smiled at them but there was uncertainty in her eyes still.

She then signed something to Rose to which she nodded.

"She asked me to translate," Rose explained.

Then Bella started signing and Rose translated.

"I can't express how much I want to regain my voice. I want it so bad that I'm – I'm…"

She stopped signing then burst into tears. I held her close to me immediately and stroked her hair as I kissed her head.

"Shhh… it's okay Bella… let it out… I love you… we all love you…" I whispered to her.

She looked up at me with sad brown eyes then back to the others as she continued to sign even with trembling hands.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of failing you," Rose translated.

"Love, please don't worry about us."

She continued signing, "But I also hate making all of you feel that you're failing me when you all have been nothing but wonderful to me. I don't want that as well."

I cupped her face and made her look at me, "Bella, Bella, love look at me. Forget us, forget everyone else. Focus on yourself. Do you want this? Will trying make you happy?"

Bella looked at me then after a while she nodded earnestly.

I smiled at her and kissed her nose, "Then what's stopping you?"

She thought for a while but then smiled at me and everyone else as she shook her head.

_Nothing._

Everyone was smiling now. "I'll call your doctor and arrange a meeting with him, first thing in the morning," Carlisle said.

Bella stood up and hugged him.

Carlisle looked touched and rubbed Bella's back. "It's going to be okay, Bella. We'll get your voice back and _then _you can thank me properly."

Bella smiled then got hugs and kisses from everyone.

I watched them give Bella encouragement and warmth as I held on to my smile.

To be honest, this last forty-five minutes was the most nerve-wracking experience in my life. For the first time, I was helpless. I didn't know what to say to Bella. I didn't know what to do. And right now… I was worried.

Terrifyingly worried.

I wanted this procedure to work so badly.

It wasn't just because I wanted to hear Bella's voice. No. It was more than that. I wanted to hear her voice – hear her say I love you but I don't want it to the point that I can't live without it. I can live without Bella's voice.

What I can't live without is her and her happiness. I want it to work so much because it's what she wants. I want it not for me, not for everyone else, but for her. She deserves to have anything she wanted.

I'm worried because I don't think I could look her in the eye if it doesn't work. So much people are involved in her life right now – so many people more that she didn't want to disappoint.

If this doesn't work…

_It would break her._

So I had to make sure that everything is perfect – _every damn thing._

In the middle of hugs and smiles, Bella saw me. She walked up to me and eyed me speculatively. I shook my head and smiled at her. She smiled back but her eyes were still cautious. I then wrapped my arms around her waist and she stood on her toes to reach up to me. I leaned down so she wouldn't have to reach far and kissed her.

She was the most important thing now.

_The most important thing…_

* * *

**AN: Hello again! I'm sorry for the long wait! As I've explained through my updated story "Parachutes: Death and All her friends" I wasn't able to update because right after my exams I still had a lot going on and the bulk of it went to going to volunteer work for our Study of Human Exceptionality class by going to an institution with special children and helping out for their Christmas program. It was very tiring but very fulfilling and makes me want to consider taking up Special Ed. Some kids were sweet and some non-kids were… well, some were naughty and sweet let's put it at that. **

**Anyways, I'll try to update soon! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! **

**Love lots,**

**Margaux**


	19. Chapter 19: Applause

**Disclaimer: I'm putting up a new disclaimer as I added something I don't own. I still own neither Twilight nor Coldplay. Now I don't own Discovery Channel. I only own the made-up show that you will soon read about later. **

**READ THIS FIRST PLEASE - IMPORTANT: This chapter contains a series of events indicated by breaks. ****Flashbacks are **_**italicized**_**. Another thing, when you get to the part where it says "**_**Meanwhile in Seattle…"**_** that's a third person account of Bella's surgery simultaneous to whatever Edward is doing. The simultaneous events would alternate with the **_**3**__**rd**__** person account in italicized form.**_** There would be no more flashbacks from that point on. Read on to find out. I think it's more than 20 pages. Ha-ha. Good luck reading it all.

* * *

  
**

_To be honest, this last forty-five minutes was the most nerve-wracking experience in my life. For the first time, I was helpless. I didn't know what to say to Bella. I didn't know what to do. And right now… I was worried._

_Terrifyingly worried._

_I wanted this procedure to work so badly._

_It wasn't just because I wanted to hear Bella's voice. No. It was more than that. I wanted to hear her voice – hear her say I love you but I don't want it to the point that I can't live without it. I can live without Bella's voice._

_What I can't live without is her and her happiness. I want it to work so much because it's what she wants. I want it not for me, not for everyone else, but for her. She deserves to have anything she wanted._

_I'm worried because I don't think I could look her in the eye if it doesn't work. So much people are involved in her life right now – so many people more that she didn't want to disappoint._

_If this doesn't work…_

_It would break her._

_So I had to make sure that everything is perfect – __every damn thing._

_In the middle of hugs and smiles, Bella saw me. She walked up to me and eyed me speculatively. I shook my head and smiled at her. She smiled back but her eyes were still cautious. I then wrapped my arms around her waist and she stood on her toes to reach up to me. I leaned down so she wouldn't have to reach far and kissed her._

_She was the most important thing now._

_The most important thing…_

**

* * *

Chapter 19: Applause**

"_Bella has unilateral vocal cord paralysis to which the cause is idiopathic or possibly an undetected infection yet in any case is relatively unknown."_

Bella's surgeon's voice rang through my brain as if on repeat all day. We were staying in Emmett's grand apartment in Seattle for three days now. It's already the end of November. After thanksgiving, Carlisle and I spent days researching, surveying about possible procedures… the best hospitals… the best doctors… everything. But we did correspondence via phone because some of us flew back to New York. Bella knew about that but didn't argue anymore. She focused instead on her piece. Bella, I found out, was going to perform at the same concert as I was this December. Though, there was no definite date yet, it was slated to be a few days before or after Christmas. What was even more surprising was how I found out about this.

_It's been a week since we came back from Chicago and I drove towards Bella's house to pick her up. We were going to Jasper's exhibit at a local art gallery. Alice was already with him, of course. Today was the opening so it was a formal event._

_I rang the doorbell and after a short time she opened the door. I grinned like an idiot when I saw her looking ridiculously gorgeous. She wore her hair loose and flowing down her back and had just enough makeup to enhance her beauty even more. She was wearing a deep blue laced cocktail dress with killer stilettos to which I knew I would have to save her from. She took in my expression and rolled her eyes while she mouthed, "Alice." I chuckled._

_I bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, "You look divine." She blushed and smiled shyly._

_I offered my arm, "So, shall we?" she nodded then I saw her shiver a little. I mentally slapped myself. "Wait, where's your coat?"_

_She slapped her forehead and cringed. I chuckled as I looked around. "Is it the white cashmere coat on the rack?"_

_She nodded. "I'll go get it," I said without waiting for her reply._

_When I got it, her phone rang. "Should I answer it? Or do we let the machine get that?"_

_She nodded at me, and gestured a "go ahead" look. So I nodded before answering._

"_Bella Swan's residence, how may I help you?"_

"_Edward? Is that you? What in the world are _you _doing there?" said a familiar puzzled female voice, "Oh – OH!"She said suddenly excited. "Bella Swan is the girl right? Oh wow!"Then I knew who it was._

"_Angela?" I asked puzzled myself. I would let the 'the girl' comment slide for now. Why was she calling? Come to think of it, I haven't heard from her in a while - which reminded me that I still had to smooth the rough edges of my piece for the winter concert._

"_Yes. This is Angela," she said impatiently, "Edward, you're dating Bella Swan?" she asked eagerly._

"_Well yes but that's not the point, what are you –"_

_I was interrupted by a squeal that I had to hold the receiver away from my ear. Bella walked up to me with a questioning look. I put the receiver back to my ear and waited._

"_Wow. Edward Anthony Cullen, the herald from the Royal Academy of Music in Vienna, who is going to be a household name after the concert – dating Isabella Marie Swan, the music prodigy! The violin, cello and pianist genius from Paris' own Royal Conservatory! It's a match made in music heaven! And both of you – managed by _me! _It's amazing how both superstars like you manage to live a low-key life and find each other! OH MY GOD!"_

_I couldn't answer. I was still processing what Angela said. I knew Bella plays the piano and she was brilliant with it but I didn't know she could play the violin, the cello and is a prodigy and all that! So this was what Jasper hinted. I was right! Bella was musical! I began beaming like an idiot. And even if we hadn't met before, we would still have a chance to meet via Angela! This was fate!_

_Bella looked at me with a confused expression and pointed to the phone then to her watch. I narrowed my eyes at her giving her a "you have some explaining to do" to which she folded her arms across her chest and gave an innocent yet slightly smug look that said, "I don't know what you're talking about," as she sniffed indignantly._

_I smirked then focused on Angela, "Okay, okay, enough with the gushing and the squealing. Yes, you'll be filthy rich and famous and all that especially with Bella's talent but Angela, why did you call? We were kind of heading out…"_

"_Oh, right, I'm sorry. I was just calling to say that I am very happy with Bella's composition. She sent me the tape with a message that it was done weeks ago. I heard it and I'm very happy with it and would love it if she came to the concert hall and practice with the orchestra. Which reminds me, when are you going to give your piece? Time's a tickin' Cullen," she said reproachfully I could imagine her eyes boring holes in my chest._

_I laughed nervously, "I'm sorry Angela. I got, well, caught up. It's actually done but there are still some rough edges. I promise to give it to you this week."_

"_You'd better," she warned._

"_Sorry."_

"_Yeah, yeah. Now run along now and play with your…friend."_

_I groaned, "Good-bye Angela."_

_Then she hung up. I faced Bella who had an amused look on her face. I helped her with her coat then draped my arm on her shoulder as we walked out the door. _

_I smiled at her impishly and started, "So…violin genius, aren't we?"_

_She just tilted her head, smoothing her face into an "I don't know what you're talking about look."_

"_Oh right, how totally moronic of me – you're a cello genius!" I teased some more. She just shrugged._

_I chuckled, "Sorry, it's not everyday you find out that your girlfriend is a freaking musical ingénue. How come I never knew about you're involvement with Angela and all these?"_

_She cocked an eyebrow and smiled nonchalantly then mouthed what I think was "Emmett."_

_I cocked an eyebrow myself, "Emmett?" she nodded. Then I got what she meant._

_I wrinkled my nose, "Oh, I get it. It's because, 'I never asked.'"_

_She nodded and grinned sheepishly._

_I chuckled, "You're such a mystery to me. There's so much to learn about you."_

_She just smiled and we walked to my car with me yakking away how Angela commended her piece._

I smiled at the memory. Bella was a mystery, whether by circumstance or by choice. I wanted to know everything about her but I never asked more than necessary. It's not that she couldn't answer but I knew how she felt when she couldn't tell me…talk to me about things without resorting to Jasper or Rosalie or through other indirect means and I respected that. I had her now. That was all that matters. Now we had this opportunity to change that but this would always be about her.

Carlisle, Rosalie and I took Bella to see her doctor in SGH yesterday. Bella requested if she could spend today not thinking about the procedure or her condition or anything that involved her voice. She wanted to spend just one more day of peace and quiet. So right now, she was sitting beside me on a piano bench watching me play. Emmett knew how to play and my mother insisted that he own at least a lyric piano so he caved in and got one.

I looked at her and she faced me. I gave her a smile to which she replied with a small smile of her own though they didn't reach her eyes. It broke my heart to see her this way. But what can I do? She doesn't want to talk about it. So I just kept on playing.

But my mind went back to yesterday.

"_Normally, one can speak but with a hoarse voice yet due to the trauma she experienced when she was younger, she lost her voice, or rather, her voice is too soft to hear and is below the hearing threshold and talking causes pain,"_ _the surgeon continued._

_We were inside his office, Bella, Carlisle and I. Rosalie had to do her rounds but promised to meet us afterwards. Emmett would see us at his place later. It was only now that I really learned about Bella's condition. And hearing it in retrospective made me understand her a little more… Carlisle listened intently while checking Bella's records. I felt envious._

_My father could understand all that the surgeon is saying while I was wallowing in envy while getting lost in translation. Carlisle had been grooming me to become his protégé and urged me to venture into Medicine. I admit I was interested but I felt that my calling was my music first and foremost so I entered a conservatory instead to which my father respected and supported. Now I wish I could've…_

_In the middle of flogging myself for not taking the Medicine route, I felt a squeeze on my hand. I looked to my right and squeezed back. I watched Bella who was of course, silent but now she was looking serious. She was swimming in emotions and was battling inwardly. From the start of this checkup, she was just staring at the doctor not really listening as I was sure she heard this a million times already. She was like a robot today. She woke up, she showered, she dressed, she ate… but she made no motion of relaying anything or sending any message. But right now, she broke through her seriousness by facing me and giving a concerned look then smiled and mouthed "I love you". _

"Yes, love?" I was broken from my thoughts when I felt a hand on my back. I faced Bella who was looking at me with a concern and question. I stopped playing, smiled and reached for her hand that she placed on my back, brought it up to my lips and kissed it.

She smiled a little then with her free hand she touched my cheek and stroked it with her thumb. She gave me a knowing look then she frowned as she traced imaginary worry lines on my brow.

I sighed, "I know, I know. I'm not supposed to be thinking about it but I can't help it love. I am honestly worried when I should be strong for you right now. I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath then she opened her eyes again and fixed them on mine. She shook her head slowly not breaking eye contact then she smiled. It was her way of saying she understands.

I almost choked and felt a tug at my heart because she was the one who should be the most terrified, and I know she is but seeing me… she chose to reassure me instead.

She moved her thumb down to the corner of my lips and tried to tug it upward the she mouthed, "I love you."

I closed my eyes to keep from tearing up and touched the hand caressing my cheek and moved her palm to my mouth where I kissed it. I did the same to her other hand that I was still holding then placed it on my other cheek. My hands left her hands that now possessed both sides of my face as I reached for her own cheeks bringing her face closer to me. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her nose and finally her lips to which she responded and we kissed momentarily. She reassured me like she did yesterday. She was truly selfless.

I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers while I whispered, "You don't know how much I love you, Isabella Swan. I love you and only you and to know that you love me too drives me over the edge. I would do anything for you."

She pulled away and gave me a chaste kiss. I opened my eyes and she smiled at me. She placed her hands over mine, took them in hers then placed them on the keys. She nodded for me to continue playing. I smiled at her and obliged.

After some time of playing, my mind found itself wandering back to yesterday. I couldn't help it. I had to replay it over and over so I won't miss anything.

_I calmed down immediately and mouthed I love you to her as well. Our silent exchange was interrupted when Carlisle spoke up._

"_So doctor, what's the proposed treatment?" he asked._

_The doctor nodded and cleared his throat, "Now the best solution we have is a type of laryngeal framework surgery called arytenoids adduction."_

"_I've heard about that," Carlisle said as he nodded, "Have you done it before?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What are the risks?"_

_The doctor sighed, "Well, there is always the risk of airway problems and poor voice quality. The voice might not be restored at all, truth be told."_

_I was about to say something when Carlisle held a hand to refrain me. "Let him finish son."_

"_But the complications are avoidable and so far I've had my share of success rates. And also, God forbid anything goes wrong, if it does, we have remedial surgery options. So far this procedure is your best bet when it comes to long term permanent restoration. Although if you wish to see some other procedures like subsequent injections then you may do so."_

_I looked at Bella who nodded then to Carlisle._

"_What do you think, dad?"_

_He thought for a while, "Well, in my opinion, a surgical framework is better than monthly injections and I think the risks aren't that grave so yes, I think this is your best shot Bella and Dr. Turner is one of the top ENT surgeons in the country."_

_He laughed, "You regard me too much. But to be safe, at least Dr. Cullen here, the world renowned cardio-thoracic surgeon would be assisting. So between the two of us, you're chances are great."_

_Bella smiled at them both._

"_We do have a request that Dr. Rosalie Hale, our surgical intern be present in the OR, if that's okay? She's my soon-to-be daughter-in-law and a friend of Bella's," Carlisle said._

"_No problem at all. I've heard of her potential. Anyway, let's talk about your pre-op workup, post-op…Ms. Swan you would need to undergo voice therapy afterwards… Now about your work up, I'm giving a list of the tests and procedures you have to do before we clear you for surgery…"_

_For the rest of the briefing, the doctor explained the various tests Bella was going to do and the operation date would follow when the results are back and she's clear for surgery._

_Bella would start her workup procedures the day after tomorrow when she has fully rested and relaxed._

_When the talk was over, we went out the office and made to go out and have lunch. Carlisle would be staying and we would meet up with Rosalie in a few minutes. Before Bella and I headed to the lobby, Bella tapped Carlisle and signed to him._

_I watched as she smiled and looked grateful at my father and saw my father's compassionate face smiling back at her as he signed back._

_After their exchange, Carlisle faced me. "Goodness, Edward, would you please remind your girlfriend constantly that it's no big deal and stop with the gratitude!" he chuckled. Bella grinned._

_I smiled, "Tell her yourself!"_

"_I did but from last count, this is the hundredth time she thanked me already!"_

_I chuckled, "Okay, love, you heard the man." She rolled her eyes then giggled. She made a peace sign and crossed her heart._

"_Much better," Carlisle nodded. "Bella, did you inform your parents?"_

_Bella nodded. She did. She made Rose call her mom and dad yesterday. They'll be flying in just in time for her workup. Though this wasn't what I had in mind for an introduction with her parents, it would have to do. I did speak with Renee on the phone and found her lovely but meeting face to face was important to me._

"_That's good. Well, I can't wait to meet them."_

"_Dad, they'll be flying in by this week."_

_Carlisle nodded, "I see. Well, this is where we part. I have ORs waiting for me." He kissed Bella's head to which Bella replied by hugging him and kissing his cheek. I laughed._

_Carlisle chuckled when Bella released him, "See you later, dear." Then he patted my back, "You to son."_

_I smiled at him, "Tha – "_

_He raised his hands, "Ah, I thought I made it clear about the gratitude?"_

"_Okay, okay. See you later."_

_With a smile he turned around and walked away when Bella tugged on his white coat._

_He looked back, "Yes, Bella?"_

_Bella smiled wickedly then signed something to which Carlisle groaned then he shook his head smiled then continued walking._

_I folded my hands across my chest and raised an eyebrow at her. She smiled innocently up at me._

"_You thanked him again, didn't you?"_

_She blushed._

_I chuckled then pulled her to me with my hand on her head, kissed her hair then ruffled it while I steered her towards the lobby._

I smiled at the last memory. Bella caught that and tugged at my collar. I grinned at her. "Have you thanked Carlisle lately today?"

She thought for a while then smiled widely as she smacked my chest playfully. She shook her head then looked like she was considering something.

I faked a groan, "Please don't tell me you're considering it."

She looked up at me innocently while tracing patterns on my shirt.

"Oh no you're not. Come on, you said I have you and only you for today. You. Me. Alone."

She sighed then she nodded. She then proceeded to lay her head on my shoulder. I bent down and kissed her head and continued playing. Yes, we shouldn't worry right now and be optimistic. There was too much at stake and I don't want to see Bella crying again. All we had was hope.

* * *

…

The following day, Bella's respective hospital cheerleaders, namely me, Rosalie and Carlisle accompanied Bella through all her workups. She had to have x-rays, throat scans, even psych tests. All bases would be covered. But of all things that Bella worried about, she was worried about the bills.

After her umpteenth time of asking about the bills, I snorted. "Love, _don't worry. _I know you hate it if we spend money on you but we want to. You could pay us back if you want but I rather you wouldn't. Think of this as an early Christmas present from all of us. Come on."

She pouted.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Bells, don't worry. This is a group effort so you won't owe anyone that much. Everyone is pitching in. no one is footing the bill alone. Just give us really nice gifts this Christmas."

She huffed but considered then signed something to Rose.

Rose snapped at her, "Bella, shut up. _We_ are going to pay for your surgery, your workup, your post-op therapy and you are going to accept them with but a simple thank you. All you have to do is show up."

Bella protested once more.

"Bella! Emmett makes tons and my dad is rich. Our wedding is covered. Sheesh. And I'm going to make tons myself once I've established myself as a world-class surgeon. Come on, don't make me call Alice and drag you to all the malls in Seattle and dress you up in all the stores we see, spend a lot on you and-"

Bella raised her hands and sighed in defeat. Rosalie smiled triumphantly and I chuckled. Bella glared at me.

"Oh come on love. You know you're going to lose this. I'm sorry love, but I'm siding with them on this one."

She raised her eyebrows, stood abruptly and left the room but not after signing something to which Rosalie snickered.

"What? What did she say?"

Rosalie laughed, "Are you sure you want to know?"

"I always want to know," I replied.

"She called you an asshole," she said then burst out laughing. I cringed. Great, Bella _swore. _

I chuckled, "I guess I deserved that. Sort of."

Rosalie patted my back, "Bella never swears," she shook her head, "When she does it means she's really pissed. You probably know already, but, she is stubborn as an ox and she hates spending money. Now go there and woo her. She's also a sucker for guilt trips."

I smiled, "Yeah, I probably should."

* * *

…

After a whole day of tests and questions, Bella was spent. But we had one more stop to go to before we head back to Emmett's. Emmett was driving and Rosalie was riding shotgun. Bella was stealing sleep, her head on my shoulders. Carlisle was seated on her other side.

"Some of her tests were looking good. But we have to have a few more after tomorrow to be really sure," he said softly.

I nodded at him. Bella pushed herself closer to me. I kissed her head.

"She sure looks tired. After this, she needs a goodnight's sleep," Carlisle said.

"I'll make sure she does."

"We're here," Emmett bellowed. Then he pulled over towards the hotel's entrance.

I shook Bella lightly, "Love, wake up. We're here."

Bella stirred then opened her eyes groggily then just like that I saw excitement in her eyes.

I chuckled. When we got out, a thin woman with blue eyes and short wispy hair ran towards Bella and hugged her tight while a built, dark curly-haired man, with Bella's eyes smiled in the background.

Bella signed something excitedly after she hugged her mother.

Her mother kissed her cheeks and pulled away, "Oh I missed you too, sweetie. Charles, get over here!"

"Hello Bells," the man greeted and awkwardly hugged Bella. Bella kissed his cheek.

Bella beamed up at him then took his hand. She took her mother's hand as well and pulled them towards our direction.

I smiled as they approached us. I watched as Bella introduced us by signing to her parents. She introduced me first.

I stepped forward and grinned while I extended my hand to Bella's mother. "It's good to finally see you, Mrs. Swan."

She shook my hand and surprisingly gave me a hug to which I returned, smiling. When she pulled away, she smiled Bella's same bright smile.

"Oh, I thought I told you on the phone to call me Renee! It's good to finally see the famous Edward Cullen in the flesh! Bella has been emailing me all about you," she said excitedly. Then she turned to face Bella, "Darling, he's gorgeous!" then she winked to which Bella groaned as she blushed.

Then I extended my hand to the chief. "Chief Swan, it's a pleasure to meet you as well."

The chief smiled as he shook my hand, "Charlie." He said nothing more but smiled. True to what Jasper said, the chief was a man of few words.

Bella proceeded to introduce the rest of the family.

After the introductions, we had dinner at the hotel and we got to know Bella's parents more. Charlie was still the police chief of a Bella's hometown while Renee was a professional traveler, care of Discovery Channel. Now I knew why she seemed familiar. She was the host of the long running show that's called _Dreamscapes_. They talked about how Charlie didn't mind that he was alone most of the time as long as his girls were happy but plans to retire soon so he could come with Renee on her spiels.

Bella was more like her father, quiet, stubborn, shy but affectionate if they want to. Renee was lively and adventurous. She talked animatedly and had a variety of interests. I watched as Bella was looking livelier and happier. Why wouldn't she? She had a lot of people who love her. I smiled at her and chose to forget everything for now and just relax with her.

* * *

…

Today we were going to find out if Bella needed to do more tests or preparations or if she was good to go. Right now we were in Emmett's study where Rosalie was chatting with Jasper on Emmett's laptop. Emmett went out to buy lunch while Bella and I were arranging Emmett's messy files and folders.

"Guys, Jasper's going to open his webcam and wants to see all of us. Alice is with him too. Leave my fiancé's sloppy things and get over here," Rosalie ordered.

Bella skipped towards Rosalie, tripping in the process. I caught her in time when we heard a familiar chuckle. And there he was in all his blond smirking glory.

"I see your balance is still well, _intact."_

I chuckled and Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Hey Jasper."

He snickered, "Hi Ed! _Hello_ Bells!"

Bella glared at him and stuck out her tongue childishly.

Jasper laughed even more, "Very mature Bella."

"Cut her some slack, baby bro," Rosalie scolded but there was mockery in her eyes.

Jasper shut up and scowled at Rose. "I am _not _your baby brother."

Rose waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, you're my twin, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I _am _older. I was _born _first," she said smugly.

Jasper looked like he was slapped, "_By a minute! But that doesn't mean that -"_

He got cut off when Bella signed something to him with a smirk. Rosalie snickered.

"Nice, Bella," Jasper said icily.

Rosalie faced me, "Bella told him, 'Wow, talk about maturity.'"

I chuckled while shaking my head. My Bella was sarcastic.

Then Alice appeared on the screen, shoving Jasper aside. "He needs a _time out_," she said while she giggled. "Hello everybody!"

"Hi Alice!" Rose greeted. I smiled at her, "Hello." Bella waved.

"Well, anyway, Edward and Bella received letters today. They're both from Angela," she said as she held out the envelopes into view.

"That's probably the invitation. Go ahead, open mine."

Jasper squeezed into view and took Bella's letter. "Want me to open yours too, Bella?" Bella nodded but not before signing something to which Jasper grimaced. "Very funny Bella."

Rose giggled, "She told him that wasn't he supposed to stay in a corner."

I faced Bella, "You're funny today."

Bella shrugged then pretended to buff her nails. I chuckled.

"You're right. It's an invitation and a program," Alice said.

"Same here with Bella," Jasper added.

"When is it and where?"

"It says concert at the park…Central Park…on…Christmas Eve. It starts at seven. There are five complimentary tickets enclosed," Alice read out.

"Ditto," Jasper said.

"I see."

"Yay! Now you _have _to let me dress you both up!" Alice said excitedly. Bella cringed. I laughed and was about to say something when the phone rang.

I was about to get it but Rose stopped me and answered it.

"Hello, Emmett Cullen's residence" she said. She nodded then looked up at us, "It's your dad," she said to me. I nodded at her. Then she continued to listen.

"That's good news…Hmmm…I see…Mmm hmm… Okay. Wait, what?" she asked while stealing a glance at us. I started to panic.

"I see. Well, I'll go tell them and call back as soon as possible. Okay, see you soon," Rose said as she hung up.

She walked up to us with a mixed expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She managed a smile. "Nothing's wrong. Bella's cleared for surgery."

I was confused, "That's…good news but why are you so worried?"

She looked down, uneasy. "Well, there's a date already."

"And?" Jasper asked impatiently.

She looked up apologetically to Bella, "It's on December 24th."

Silence.

I thought for a while, "They can't move it?"

Rosalie shook her head, "I'm sorry. It's the best date they could offer. The next time would be in January but that would require another round of workup. But I could try and ask again if they could –"

She stopped because Bella shook her head and smiled in understanding.

"Maybe we could call Angela and see if they could move the concert…" I stopped because Alice was shaking her head sadly.

"It's hard to book another date, Edward. You know that," she said.

"And even if they could move it, it won't work because even if they moved it earlier, Bella can't attend because she has to rest before surgery. Even if it's a later date it also wouldn't work because of Bella's recovery period. She can't travel right away. She has therapies too," Rose explained.

Then Bella spoke up, or rather signed something.

Rosalie and Jasper both cried out, "No!"

"No, you are not going to back out the surgery," Jasper said firmly.

I looked at Bella with wide eyes.

"Bella said that maybe this was a sign that she shouldn't push through the surgery," Rosalie said bitterly. "Bella, honey, you've been waiting for this for a long time. I know it's not about missing the concert."

"Yes. Don't chicken out now Bella," Jasper said.

"They're right love. You can't back out off the surgery. I'm sure Angela would understand. We're not the only ones who will be performing that night. We'll have other concerts," I amended.

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief and mouthed, "We?"

My brows knit in confusion, "Yes. We. I'm staying with you here. I'll be with you all throughout your surgery." That wasn't even a question. I would drop the concert and be with her. There would be other opportunities. She was my priority right now, wait, she is my priority _always. _

She shook her head.

"Bella, I want to be here for you. I want to be where you are. I _have _to be where you are."

She signed something to Rosalie.

"Bella said that she's not letting you waste your opportunity," Rosalie translated. Like the others, they were torn. They didn't know how to react to this.

I snorted, "That's absurd. There would be others."

Bella glared at me and continued signing, Rose translating as fast as she could, "No. No, Edward. You already sacrificed too much for me. I'm not taking this away from you. I saw how you are when you play. You love playing and this is a great opportunity for you. I know how much you prepared for this. I can't let you miss this."

"I won't do the concert, end of discussion," I said with great finality.

She threw her hands in the air and huffed. Then she signed once more with Rose. "Fine."

I took a deep breath and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

She didn't look at me then signed, "But I won't do the surgery."

I glared at her, "That's unfair Bella."

She shook her head while signing, "No. What's unfair is that you all dropped too much for me already. I've taken too much from all of you especially you and I haven't been able to give you anything back. I want this for you too. I want you to live your life as you did even before I met you. I want you to do what you love doing."

"But Bella, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm living my life. I love doing all these for you. You are my life."

She sighed and continued, "Edward, please? I'm in good hands. Rosalie, my parents and your dad will be here with me. Come on please. I'll do the surgery, you'll say goodbye to me, play your heart out, get a lot of attention and praise then fly back to me and say hello again. Please? For me?"

I sank down the chair and watched as she looked at me with pleading eyes. I looked at Rosalie.

"I have no choice now, do I?" I said flatly.

Rosalie gave me a sympathetic smile, "It's a reasonable request Edward. We'll be with her all the way. We do love her too you know."

"Yeah, and you could dedicate your performance to Bella on stage!"Alice offered.

I thought about it. That was a great gesture.

"You know you're going to lose this, man," Jasper said cajolingly.

I sighed, "Okay, fine. Whatever." Bella grinned at me and plopped on my lap and gave my nose a kiss.

I glared at her, "Just because I agreed doesn't mean I want to do it."

She just grinned and I sighed once more, "You'd better be alive when I come back."

She rolled her eyes then nodded. She signed to me and I looked at Rosalie for a translate.

"She said, 'Yes. I promise'," she translated.

"That's good enough for me," I said.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and mouthed "I love you." I smiled at her and wrapped my arms around her back. "I love you too." Then I kissed her emitting a round of mock awws and an eww from Jasper.

"At it again? Seriously, get a room – but not my room, you hear!" came a booming voice.

Bella and I pulled away and saw Emmett at the doorway.

Rosalie jumped from her seat and wrapped her arms around Emmett's neck planting a big one.

"Let's show them how it's done, "she purred while batting her eyelashes at him.

Emmett grinned and snaked his arms around her. "Watch and learn amateurs."

We all looked away and groaned. Alice however smiled devilishly, "Oh Emmett… since you're all kissing maybe I should plant one on my own man." Jasper perked up and grinned.

Emmett's eyes bulged as he pulled away, "Oh come on Alice, and you know I still see you as my baby girl sister."

"Oh? Then I guess if it's too uncomfortable for you then maybe it's time we ended out webcam session," she said while winking at Jasper.

I groaned, "Alice…"

Emmett raced to the monitor and yelled at them, "Alice! Jasper! Do not do what I think you're going to –"

"Later guys!" Alice called out to which Jasper called out half-heartedly, "Yeah, what she said." Then they disappeared from the screen.

"MARY ALICE CULLEN!" Emmett shouted. Rosalie smacked him, "Let them be, Em. They're adults. Come on and is that pizza I smell?"

We followed Emmett and Rose out the study and had pizza while we watched a movie. I was clearly very against the idea of not being there when Bella's in surgery but I can't do anything about it. She wanted me to play so I would play… and I would play for her.

For the following days, I flew in and out of New York and Seattle because of rehearsals. Rosalie moved in Emmett's apartment and Bella stayed there with them. She did fly out back home with me the first time to get her things and work things out with Angela. Angela made no fuss and supported Bella. Of course, you could still see frustration in her eyes because she really wanted everyone to hear Bella's piece. I remembered when we came back to her place to help her pack.

_I was searching for Bella's suitcase when I stumbled into a room I haven't entered in Bella's house and I smiled as I saw that it was a music room. How could I not have seen this before? Truly, there was still much to know about Bella…more reasons to love her…_

_I flicked the light switch on and the first thing I saw was Bella's white baby grand piano. I pulled the drapery off and slid the cover to reveal the ivory keys. I skimmed the keys and I wasn't surprised that the piano was tuned perfectly._

_I then jumped a bit when I felt arms around me. I turned my head to the side and saw her peering up at me. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her head._

_She smiled at me but something caught her eye. She released her hold on me and picked up a red folder on top of the bench. I watched as she opened it. _

"_Is that your piece for the concert?"_

_She nodded and smiled as she scanned the sheets then she sighed._

"_You really wanted to play it, don't you?"_

_She looked up at me and half-smiled then shrugged. I dropped the topic. This would only lead to our discussion before._

_I gave her a light push. "Then play it."_

_She looked up at me, cocking her head to the side._

"_Play it right now, here," I urged._

_She smiled then nodded. She sat down on the bench and I stood behind her, watching her play. From the beginning I was mesmerized. If I was floored before the first time I heard her play, I was downright smitten right now. She started strong with moderate speed but with power. This was a whole new different piece from the one I heard before. It had more power… more accuracy… precision… detail… and most of all, it had great passion. I have never heard anything like it. _

_It was as if she was telling her story loud and clear - willing anyone who heard to listen and connect with her. In the middle she slowed down into a lulling melody that made you think of sweet dreams and nightscapes. Then she accelerated with more power and speed that made you think of flight and fight – tugging back and forth – a stuck point – an impasse – then she struck three powerful chords with increasing loudness and force. On the last of those chords she let the low sound linger, her fingers pressed down, her body bent, her eyes shut, her brows knit with strong emotion with her mouth parted in a huff and the trembling sound reverberated around the room. Then she slowly released the keys raising them high and delicately - a pause – then her eyes opened then she struck the keys with the same power, chord after chord, after chord… power after power after power… she was fighting. _

_Then the chords became softer and softer until she mellowed back into a relaxed slow melody, her face relaxing with the music…showing peace. She had won. Then as the music slowed to an end, she played the last bar with her fingers pressing on the last keys and let the final sound linger. She released slowly and gracefully, raiding her hands dramatically before resting them gently on her lap._

_She opened her eyes and searched for mine. We held our gazes for the longest time then I abruptly stood up and applauded her while wiping a few tears in my eyes. I never cried but how could I not when she told me her story? When she sang to me her feelings?_

"_Bravo! __Magnifique__! Bravo!" she blushed then proceeded to cover her piano._

_She stood in front of me, holding my hands, stopping me from clapping. She half-smiled at me and reached out to wipe a tear._

_I scooped her up with one motion and embraced her tightly. "That was beautiful! A masterpiece! You're beautiful! You're so damn beautiful!" I kept on saying while I crushed her to me. She leaned into me and rubbed my back._

I felt a tug on my sleeve and saw Bella's curious gaze on me. I kissed her head. "I was just remembering you play." She blushed.

"You're really good. Now I don't feel sorry you're not there. You would've upstaged me," I winked at her.

She scrunched up her nose and shook her head and pointed to me. "Ha! I'm an amateur next to you." she shook her head to protest. I was about to retort when…

_Ding! Flight number 4, New York…_

I didn't even bother to hear the rest. I knew it was for me. I sighed. We were at the airport and tomorrow was the concert…and Bella's surgery.

I saw Bella frown a bit and hugged me tightly. I held her to me desperately. "I can stay you know. I can stay here. Say it, and I won't go. It's not too late to cha –"

She pulled away and shook her head slowly at me. I sighed. "Well, I have to go…now…" I said sadly while catching Emmett's attention to come closer.

Bella nodded at me but I saw that she was tearing up. I held her face close to me and wiped her cheek with my thumb.

"Hey, hey… listen to me. I don't want to see you sad okay? I don't want to see tears. Sure this is a good-bye, but it's a 'see-you-later' good-bye. You won't even notice I'm gone. Come now love. I can't leave you here like this. I want that when I get inside the plane that the last image I see of you is one that's happy and smiling and that's enough to get me through the day. I want that when I see you again, I see the same face – the same happy smiling beautiful face as we say hello once more. I'll see you soon. So stop crying okay?"

She smiled and laughed soundlessly and nodded her big brown eyes still red and puffy. I smiled back and brushed a strand of hair off her face and tucked it into her ear. She closed her eyes and held my hand tightly to her face.

"Bella," I said to her and she opened her eyes, I grinned, "I love you." She smiled back and mouthed, "I love you too."

Then we kissed. We kissed long, hard and desperately.

_Last call for Flight number four, New York…_

We pulled away and I sighed as I rested my forehead on hers. Then with final kiss on her forehead, her nose, both her cheeks then her lips, I pulled away and smiled at her then let her go. I grabbed my bag and gave Emmett a one-armed hug.

"Take care little bro," Emmett said as he patted my back.

"You too."

I looked at Bella again and I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Not now. I'll see her soon. I grinned at her, "Bye Bella! I'll see you soon."

She waved at me and mouthed bye. Then I turned around and started walking away, biting my lips.

Then I felt someone running behind me so I looked back and at the same moment, small hands were wrapped around me from behind. I felt hot tears on my back and unhesitatingly, I turned to face her, crushing her to me again and kissing her feverishly.

Then Emmett cleared his throat. He looked at us apologetically. "I'm really sorry guys but, Edward, you need to go."

I nodded glumly then with one last peck on the lips, I kissed Bella then walked away, not looking back. I couldn't. If I did I was sure I would never leave even if it involved Bella getting mad. On the plane I put my sunglasses on and let the tears fall.

* * *

…

"Are you ready Edward?"

I blinked then turned to face the speaker. I smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Alice nodded. Alice, Esme, Jasper and Jude were all here to support me. I told them that it was okay if they went to go see Bella instead but they said that I was stupid to think that they would let me be here alone. And they said Bella requested it so I didn't argue anymore. We were backstage, Alice and I, and the show started already. I was the next performer. The rest were already on their seats – front row. I smiled. Thanks Angela.

"Good. Oh, I wanted to wait a little more before we told you but I guess now's the right time," she said.

"For what?"

She grinned, "We have a gift for both of you. You know that Bella's already out right? And they're just waiting for the anesthesia to spread and they'll be starting anytime. But even if she could hear or not, we requested that Bella's OR would receive coverage of your performance live – even if it's just an audio feed. I'm sure Bella would appreciate that and who knows? Maybe she could hear your public message to her. It's as if you're there with her."

I hugged her tight, "Thanks Alice! Tell the others I am very grateful for this!" I grinned and kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, we love you, we're the best now I believe, and it's your time. Go out there and rock their socks off!" Alice pushed me lightly then she walked off to her seat.

"Edward? You're up. Break a leg," Angela who suddenly appeared said. She gave me a good luck hug which I returned. Then with a deep breath I went on stage and was greeted with applause.

_Meanwhile in the Seattle…_

"_Update on the patient, Dr. Hale?"_

_Rosalie held up a thumbs-up sign. "Stats are perfect. She's out and numb. She's ready doctor."_

_Dr. Turner nodded. "From the applause, I think Mr. Cullen's starting as well. Perfect timing. Ladies and Gentlemen, doctors, nurses, let's make Bella speak again."_

_Rosalie nodded and positioned herself near Bella's head and held Bella's hand. Carlisle stood beside her and observed._

"_Scalpel?"_

I bowed then the applause died down as I made my way to the piano. I eyed the maestro, the conductor and nodded, signaling I'm ready. He nodded back then raised his baton. The commentator's voice boomed aloud, "Mr. Edward Cullen will be playing an original composition called 'Bella's Lullaby' accompanied with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Maestro Alberione."

I closed my eyes and thought of Bella. This is for you Bella. Wait for me.

"_Hear that Bella? Edward's next. He's playing," Rosalie whispered to Bella's sleeping form as the surgeons did their work._

"_Opening a small incision on the patient's throat…clamping the blood vessels…"_

When it was my cue to start playing I stopped. I completely out of the blue stopped. The orchestra kept on playing with the maestro shooting looks at me. I can't do this. So I stopped. I saw Angela backstage and she was hissing and glaring at me, looking like I grew three heads. I shook my head at her. I stopped.

"_What's wrong with Edward?" Rosalie asked._

_Carlisle sighed, "I don't know but he better have a reason." He said, not taking his eyes off Bella._

"_Blood vessels are secured and clamped…I see the laryngeal nerve. Ah. There she is…"Bella's surgeon kept working._

I stood up and the music stopped. Murmurs and whispers befall the audience but I had an idea. I couldn't play my song, not when Bella's not here. The song is for her and her alone. But I had an idea. So I walked towards the microphone with Angela on my heels.

"For the love of people, what the hell are you doing?" She whispered.

"Just… just let me speak please."

"Fine. Fix this." She said as she walked away.

I took the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the disruption but I… I simply cannot perform my composition, not when the one I made it for is not here. Not when someone who unfortunately can't be here right now deserves to be here a thousand times more than I do. But I will play. I will play. Instead of playing my composition, I will play the piece written by the most talented person with the most passionate heart. I will play the piece that was supposed to be the highlight – the grand finale of this concert. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a piece written by someone who without saying anything speaks loud and clear - someone who speaks the loudest with her silence. So right now, ladies and gentlemen, I will play 'From Silence' by Isabella Marie Swan. Bella, you deserve to be heard. Now let me tell them your story. Thank you."

The crowd was silent as I walked back towards the piano. The maestro caught my eye.

"I'm sorry. I can play it alone if it's too much trouble."

The maestro smiled, "Nonsense. We have rehearsed at least once with Miss Bella and heard her composition a thousand times. We will play with you – for her."

I smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

He nodded then Angela ordered a few stage people to give the scores to the musicians. Then we started playing. This is for you Bella. Wait for me.

"_That Edward is so damn sweet! I really hope you can hear everything Bella. But at least Alice was taping this," Rosalie gushed._

"_Now that's my son. Bella, do you hear that? He's cheering you on," Carlisle said. "How are we doing doctor?"_

"_We're doing great doctor. Observe as we're drawing the suture into the larynx. It won't take that much longer now."_

I played and played my heart out and tried to capture all the emotions Bella wanted to say from this piece. With each note I remember how she played it, how she smiled at me…how she kissed me… I played like never before. It's all for her.

The crowd was silent - I knew they were listening.

_After almost half an hour of surgery while listening to Edward, Dr. Turner finally said, "We're almost done – just cleaning up. The procedure was done quite fast with so far no complications."_

"_Hear that, Bells? We're almost done!" Rose said. "Edward's doing great as well."_

With the orchestra, and the delay, Bella's fifteen minute composition stretched to almost half an hour. I knew the procedure was quick but I wondered if they were done yet. I was almost done as well. Only a few more bars… a few more measures…

"_Doctors, ladies and gents, great job," Dr. Turner said after letting the resident stitch Bella up. "What do you think Doctor Cullen?"_

_He nodded, "I see nothing wrong. Now all we do is wait."_

_Rosalie smiled to herself but then noticed something strange. Her eyes darted to Bella then to the monitor. So far it was normal but then…_

"_Carlisle…" she said warily._

"_Yes? Dr. Hale?"_

"_I think something's wrong…"_

_Carlisle immediately went to check on Bella then looked up t Rosalie. _

"_Oh my God, Bella's not breathing!" Rosalie shrieked. Carlisle looked alarmed but willed himself to stay calm as everyone hovered towards Bella._

"_Rosalie, calm down, Dr. Turner something's wrong with her airway we need to get her breathing – NOW!"_

"_Doctor, she's crashing!" Rosalie cried out as the loudest sound in the room wasn't the thundering applause from Edward's end. He has finished the piece. The sound of the monitor beeping madly enveloped the cheers._

I'm done. I told Bella's story and without a doubt, the crowd listened and were clapping madly! Yes, I can finally go leave and see Bella. Everyone was cheering, not for me but for Bella. This was all her. She deserved this. Bella, wait for me.

_Dr. Turner opened up Bella's throat once more and found the problem. It was a minor problem but he had to fix it fast. They knew that such complication could happen but it was rare. Bella's throat was so delicate… _

"_Bella, listen to me. You cannot give up. You hear me? I want you to fight. You cannot, I repeat, give up. We need you Bella," Rose said on the verge of tears while clutching Bella's hand._

"_We're losing her," the nurse said._

_Rosalie shook her head, "No. no, we're not. Bella you promised Edward. You promised."_

"_I'm done, I'm done," Dr. Turner said and Bella started breathing again. But it was too soon to celebrate._

_Bella's pulse was dropping then…flat line._

"_NO! Bella, no!" Rosalie cried out._

_Carlisle called for a crash cart and shouted for everyone to stand back. He charged the paddles and shouted, "Clear!" Bella's chest rose with the jolt but still no pulse._

"_Bella, come back! You can't leave us!"_

"_Get ready for another one," Carlisle said then shouted, "Clear" once more. Still no pulse. Rosalie started doing compressions. _

"_Bella, you can't go yet. You just can't. Now come back, come back to us."_

"_Let's shock her one more time, get ready everybody. Clear!"_

_Then after the shock all were silent and shaking their heads as one sound filled the air._

Applause still rang on. After some time of bowing and thanks I went backstage where Alice and the others were waiting for me.

It was Esme who ran to me first. She hugged me tight and kissed my cheek. "I'm so proud of you, son. You were superb! Bella would've been so proud!"

"Thanks mother. So I have a flight to go to in two hours right?" I smiled at Alice and Jasper oh and Jude of course.

Alice beamed. "Of course. We'll get to see Bella really soon."

"She would've liked what you did for her, and we have it all on tape so we could watch Bella cry," Jasper said.

I chuckled.

"Bravo Edward!" Jude praised. "Thanks everyone."

Then a cheer erupted from the crowd and Angela rushed towards me. "Edward, do you hear that? They're calling for an encore! They want you to play your piece! Come on, surely you have a little more time to spare?"

I looked uneasily, "I don't know."

"Oh, go Edward, Bella will kill you if you don't perform your own composition," Alice said.

I sighed, "Well…"

Then Jasper's phone rang and I didn't like the look on his face.

"I… I see. Okay. Wait, he's here," Jasper's face was unreadable and I was feeling panicky. He held the phone towards me and I took it.

"H-hello?" I said nervously, my eyes widened and the world stopped.

The moment I answered the phone and heard the news, my heart seemed to stop, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout – _I just wanted to get the hell away from here. _

Two words

I heard only two words that changed my life forever.

Just two words…

And just like that I was on my knees, crumpled, shaking, eyes shut tight, fists clenched and crying…while still clutching the phone while my sister, my mother and Jasper flocked around me at once. The crowd was still cheering, giving a never ending applause as they chanted for an encore. But for me, I heard nothing. The world was silent to me except for those two words that I just heard.

_I could not believe this was happening._

Despite my suddenly still world, there was still applause from the audience.

**

* * *

AN: Okay, I'm very sorry for the very long update but I had to do a lot of research for this chapter and of course, I had loads of school work to do. To make up, I did update my other story that some of you are reading (Parachutes) and made this chapter extra long. Okay, I know it's a cliffhanger and I'm sorry but what's a good story without some suspense? Don't worry; I'll be able to update sooner that last time as workload lightened a bit…a teensy bit. **

**Now, I'm announcing with a heavy heart that the next chapter is well…the last chapter. We'll know what the news was what those "two words" Edward heard was. We'll know the outcome of Bella's surgery. So be patient and do leave a review. Do I still have an audience? I really am sorry for the long update. Share some love so I would be encouraged to write faster and give this story a well deserved ending. While waiting, why not check out my other stories and stories on my favorite list? **

**Thanks for the support!**

**Much love,**

**Margaux**


	20. Chapter 20: It Ends With Hello

**AN: Hello! The (from your words) "meanie" has updated as fast as she could. Believe me, writing the ending is no walk in the park. For the last chapter, I have received a lot of threats and glares. I also received a lot of "meanie" accusations. All I can say is… **_**Yay me! **_**Now I know that a lot of people are still interested with this story enough to want to beat me to death with marshmallows (you know who you are! Ha-ha. Good threat!). A reader should be very proud of herself for actually guessing (even if the wordings aren't exact) what those two words are. You should be very proud – very proud indeed. **

**IMPORTANT - Anyway, I just wanted to give a heads up that there's going to be ****another **_**"Meanwhile in Seattle" **_**3****rd**** person account. ****That part is going to start the same way with a "Meanwhile in Seattle." Oh, and of course, loads of flashbacks. They're my 'thing.' Sorry, I had to find a way to erhm, keep the suspense. Otherwise, this chapter would be way too short. This chapter is very long, like 19 pages long without the author's note at the end. Okidoki, that's all. Read on. =)**

**

* * *

  
**

_Two words_

_I heard only two words that changed my life forever._

_Just two words…_

_And just like that I was on my knees, crumpled, shaking, eyes shut tight, fists clenched and crying…while still clutching the phone while my sister, my mother and Jasper flocked around me at once. The crowd was still cheering, giving a never ending applause as they chanted for an encore. But for me, I heard nothing. The world was silent to me except for those two words that I just heard._

_I could not believe this was happening._

_Despite my suddenly still world, there was still applause from the audience._

**

* * *

Chapter 20: It Ends With Hello**

One minute.

A lot can happen in one minute. Statistics have shown that in a minute, three babies are born. On the other end, three people die…or more… In a minute, a person's heart has pumped seventy beats… and a person has taken sixteen breaths… in a minute more than ten laps can be made by a race car driver… in a minute a baller could still score a mean twenty points… a right wing could still kick a goal… a home run could be hit… a touchdown scored…

It only takes a minute to gain victory or defeat.

It only takes a minute for your world to take a 360, whether clockwise or counterclockwise…

But in one minute what I had were flashbacks.

_Flashbacks_

I was seeing flashbacks…

Just. Like. That. …Flinging at me that I was getting whiplash from the sudden strikes.

_Flashback_ – of a squeeze on my hand and a reassuring smile from Bella at Dr. Turner's office… She was so serious back then and I was very worried. She broke from her façade and smiled to reassure me and mouthed "I love you."

_Flashback! _

_Flashback_ – of Bella calling me an asshole for siding with Rose and the others for paying for her hospital bills…how I had to woo her by having a dozen long-stemmed roses delivered an hour after she called me an ass…

_Flashback!_

_Flashback_ – of Bella sticking her tongue at Jasper and being sarcastic and funny that day as if it was any other day…

_Flashback!_

_Flashback_ of Bella playing so tantalizingly brilliant on her white baby grand piano…

_Flashback!_

_Flashback_ of how warm her body was, how she smelled of strawberries, how silky smooth her skin was, how soft and sweet her lips were when we kissed long, hard and desperate before I finally turned around to leave...

_Flashback_… Bella smiling with tears on her eyes mouthing "I love you too" before waving bye at the airport…

As I clutched the phone and trembled from this great surge of feeling, I suddenly thought about the recent memories with Bella. The memories came so fast and sharp that I struggled to keep up. The people around me were starting to panic from my reaction. But I just can't help it.

The flashbacks started going backwards… deeper…

I saw Bella laughing soundlessly with my family during thanksgiving. Carlisle and Esme loved her at once.

Another memory

Finding Bella at the park while braving the impending storm…she was drenched, scared and lonely… how I saw relief even for the briefest moment when she saw me… then finally she "talked" to me… she poured her heart out and told me everything she wanted to say and what she felt… and how I told her to shut up and we've been inseparable ever since…

Yet another memory

Asking Bella to marry me… after she placed her mouth on my ear and I felt three hot breaths that I could only surmise as an I love you… she was the first one who said it…how she looked so exultant one minute then horrified the next… I later knew that she ran away because she thought she wasn't good enough for me…

And another

The time where Jasper kept interrupting our almost kisses… I wanted to kick Jasper's ass the whole time.

And another

How Alice and I found out where she lived and how jealous I was of Jasper… how any hot-blooded male would when you saw them looking like they spent the night together…how far from the truth it was…

And another

Casually bumping into Bella at the bookstore following Jasper's hint… Bella listened to me patiently and with interest… we danced in the middle of the park… our park…

Deeper memory

_Central Park._ I was searching for a place to sit when I saw what I thought was an empty bench, was in fact occupied by the most amazing person in the world. It was the first time I saw her. Gorgeous dark brown locks… creamy ivory skin… deep brown eyes… pink full smiling lips…her heart shaped face… and the beautiful crimson blush on her cheeks… I remember how fascinated I was of her… how I thought she blew me off when I introduced myself and she didn't… how she said goodbye apologetically… only to come running back, giving me a slip of paper, losing her green scarf that led us to her in the process…

I remember I didn't say hi to her that time. I started with a "Pardon me…" how stupid. I didn't say hi or hello…

Hello…

Hello.

I blinked and I was completely regaining my composure.

"Edward, what in the world is happening?" Esme said frantically while she rubbed my back. She was starting to cry from panic and so was Alice.

Alice and Jasper were looking at me with fright in their eyes and anxiety. Jude tried to stay calm for all of us but he was anxious as well.

"Edward?" Angela called softly and warily from the curtain, the crowd still calling for me.

"Edward, damn it, speak!" Alice demanded.

I swallowed, stood up, still clutching the phone to my ear and looked at them all, letting the tears flow then breaking into a smile.

"S-she s-said, s-she said…" I fumbled for words.

"What? What did Rose say? You're killing us here Edward!"Jasper half-yelled.

I shook my head, "No. Not Rose."

They shut up and looked at me with anticipation.

"She s-said, "Hello Edward,"' I said while covering my eyes with my palm while shaking my head from the sudden rush of euphoria and relief I felt. "S-she said Hello…She said Hello!" I said as my eyes shot open and I laughed loudly from happiness.

I watched as their faces changed into that of relief and joy and they all cried and laughed with me. Esme hugged me tight and I let her. Jude clapped my back and Jasper punched my arm. When I looked at Alice she jumped at me and I caught her. Then I placed her down and she kept punching my chest.

"Don't. You. Ever. _Ever. _Scare us like that again!" She cried then she sobbed on my chest.

"I-I'm sorry," I said as I hugged her with one arm while still laughing and crying.

"Wait – is she still on the line?" Jude asked and I slapped myself while I laughed. _Idiot._

"Hello to you too, Bella," I choked. "I'm sorry for the long pause love," I tried to tone down by laughing.

"_I…p-pro…missed…didn't…I?" _she replied in a voice so soft and barely above a whisper but it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Yes, yes you did. Thank you Bella, I love you and I'm coming soon."

"… _I…love…you…Edward…"_

"I love you too sweetheart," I said laughing loudly as more tears flowed. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. This was _really _happening. Bella could speak! And she said she loves me… in her own voice…

"_Play…"_

"What love?" I asked again. Then I heard a rustling sound and a different voice on the other end.

"Sorry Edward, Bella needs to rest her voice now," Carlisle said. "It was only a trial as she…woke up sooner than planned. She needs to sleep now. You'll see her soon. For now, that's all the words we're allowing her to speak. We don't want to overwhelm her muscles and nerves. Oh she's pouting. Anyway, she's signing that you better play your piece right now as she can hear the call for encore. You better play well she threats because she's listening. She's signing she won't hesitate to say you suck if you suck," Carlisle chuckled, "No, that was me. She says break a leg and she loves you and she'll see you in the morning. So you better go now son and hand the phone to Esme."

I chuckled, "Okay. Thanks dad. Thanks for this. I can't… ah… there are no words."

"No words?" Carlisle said with mock alarm, "Dear me, don't tell me you're the silent one now."

I wrinkled my nose, "Nice. _Very nice._ If you weren't one of the people responsible for Bella's voice now you would've heard –"

"Run along now son. Bella needs to sleep but she insists on hearing you play so I suggest you start now," he cut me off.

"Okay, okay. Here's your wife. Mom?" I handed the phone to Esme then faced Angela.

"So are you ready to play _now?" _Angela asked with fake skepticism.

"Very much so," I replied enthusiastically.

"Okay, get in there – wait…" she eyed me then sighed, "You're going to make a speech…aren't you?"

I chuckled, "Just a very short dedication. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Sure. Now he rushes," she muttered and I laughed.

Then I went onstage and the crowd applauded once more. I grinned at them and went to the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for giving me an opportunity to play once more. The piece that we will play is something I composed for someone very special who I have just found out is listening right now. Thank you and I hope you enjoy 'Bella's Lullaby'."

I walked to the piano and made eye contact with the maestro who had a brow raised and a knowing grin. I nodded at him and he smiled as he raised the baton once more. Then we played. My heart was soaring and at peace to know that Bella was okay and speaking. Then I mentally slapped myself. Of course she was okay _and _speaking. It's not like she could've died or anything. We were assured that it was a low risk surgery and Bella was in the best hands. I felt stupid for even thinking that something went wrong. Of course nothing went wrong. She was speaking! And I couldn't be happier. Now I smiled widely that it hurt while I played Bella's song.

_Meanwhile in Seattle…_

Bella was transferred to her hospital suite where they could watch Edward's performance that was aired live. She was looking tired and groggy lying down with her head propped up a bit and her neck was wrapped in gauze and bandages for her surgical wound. Carlisle was there and was still talking to Esme on the phone. A nurse just went inside for routine vitals then left right away. Rosalie went inside, holding two mugs filled with brewed coffee. She gave one to Carlisle who gave a smile and short thank you as he took it then she went to sit on the armchair to Bella's right side.

"Ooh, Edward started already!" She said excitedly.

Bella touched Rose's arm that made Rosalie face her. Rosalie saw the confused expression on Bella's face. "What's the matter sweetie?"

Because she was asked not to speak for now she signed, "This is an encore right? Why is Edward playing his piece again?"

"Oh right. Well, since you were knocked out, he didn't have the heart to play your song in front of everyone. It was sweet actually. He said that you deserved to be there, and this is a direct quote, 'a thousand times' more than he was so instead, he played your song," Rosalie grinned while she said that.

Bella blushed but then she wrinkled her nose as she signed, "That was sweet…but stupid. What if he wasn't given the chance for an encore? Then when would people hear his composition? That was stupid. He's going to have an earful later."

Rosalie giggled, "I'll bet. But it was sweet, and Alice has it on tape."

Bella smiled while her eyes were still glued to watching Edward on the screen.

"Oh Bella…Edward doesn't know…about…what happened…"

Bella frowned.

"We were kind of waiting on you… what do you think?"

Bella thought for awhile then signed, "It's up to you. He would want to know everything that happened and he would be crushed if he finds out from somebody else. Though personally, I don't want him to know. I don't want him to worry about something that happened. But one way or another he'll know. So I guess…yes. Tell him."

Rosalie nodded, "Duly noted."

Bella smiled and continued listening to Edward playing, closing her eyes but fighting sleep, enjoying hearing Edward's music. But she couldn't fight it anymore and she finally succumbed to sleep.

Rosalie smiled and patted Bella's hair. Carlisle shut his phone and walked over Bella.

"She finally fell back to sleep," Carlisle mused.

Rosalie nodded, "Well, he didn't call it 'Bella's Lullaby' for nothing."

Carlisle chuckled, "I guess so." Then they continued watching.

"Charlie and Renee went out to get food for all of us," Rosalie spoke up. "It _is_ Christmas Eve."

"That was kind of them," Carlisle commented.

"Yeah…" Rosalie agreed then she looked at Carlisle seriously. "Does…Esme and everybody else know?"

Carlisle sighed, "Yes."

Rosalie pulled the blanket higher over Bella then asked while she was looking over Bella, "Should we tell him?"

"How did Charlie and Renee react?" he asked instead.

Rosalie shrugged. "Well, they freaked out, of course. But knowing that Bella's fine now, they're okay."

"Then we should tell him. He has the right to know."

"I know, I know… but… it was different… Charlie and Renee were here. Edward was there… being applauded… for playing Bella's piece… won't he beat himself up?" Rosalie looked up at Carlisle.

Carlisle thought for a while before answering, "I suppose he would… but I don't think it won't matter. Once he sees Bella, well, she'll be all that matters to him."

Rosalie nodded, "I see."

"Of course he would freak out and he'll be a little more protective –"he retracted, "Okay, a little more _overprotective_ but he'll be just happy that she's okay."

Rosalie nodded and smiled, "Bella can talk now."

Carlisle grinned, "She sure can."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Heelllooo hospital people!" someone bellowed.

"Shhhhh! Emmett! Keep it down!" Rosalie shushed Emmett who just walked in looking like a deer caught in a headlight carrying a pot of flowers and a giant teddy bear. Rosalie glanced at the bear. "And what is she, _seven?"_

Emmett snorted and rolled his eyes while he set the pot on top of the table near the window and the bear at the foot of Bella's bed. "She'll _love _it. It'll remind her of _me." _he said proudly."Hey, doctor dad! A very Merry Christmas eve to everyone!"

"Hello son." Carlisle greeted back, "A wonderful Christmas eve indeed."

Rosalie sighed and shook her head, "Why do I even bother?" she muttered.

Emmett walked over to Rosalie and kissed her head then looked at Bella. "So, munchkin's asleep?"

Rosalie smiled, "Yeah. She had a rough night."

"Yeah, but she can talk. That's good," Emmett commented.

"Kids, why don't you two go on home? I'll wait for them to come here. They're flying out after Edward plays," Carlisle suggested.

"But you're pretty tired yourself Carlisle, we don't mind waiting," Rosalie replied.

"You guys need to rest too. Don't worry, I can get some sleep here and besides, Bella's parents are coming back anytime."

"Okay then, we'll leave after we eat. I'm starving! They shouldn't be long anyway," Rosalie said.

"Food?" Emmett perked up. "Baby, I'm staying for some grub too. Yeah, honey, Carlisle's right. Let's just get back here and visit Bella in the morning. It's going to be too crowded and Bella needs sleep. 'Sides, Edward's going to hog her the moment he steps inside."

_Back to New York…_

I stood up and bowed for the last time and shook the maestro's hand before leaving the stage. I passed Angela on the way. She gave me a thumbs-up and a wave. I smiled at her then walked backstage where Alice, Esme, Jasper and his dad were waiting for me.

"You were great brother dear!" Alice cheered.

I laughed, "Thanks." Then I saw something in her eyes. She caught that and shifted on her feet. I looked at Jasper and the others. They had the same look.

"What's going on?" I asked warily.

Esme walked up to me and touched my hand. She smiled, "Nothing Edward. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Carlisle just called again and he said that Bella's stable and sleeping right now."

"Okay, that's good…"

"Yes, yes it is. But, well, there's something we have to tell you darling but there's no need for panic and worry because it's over and dealt with," she continued.

I felt uneasy. "Tell me then."

She linked her arm with mine, "I'll tell you on the plane."

* * *

I was shocked.

Shocked. Just pure unadultered shocked beyond words.

I was sitting beside my mother on the plane to Seattle. She just told me what happened just after Bella's surgery. Now she was staring at me with concern in her eyes and her hand was on top of my arm.

"Anytime you're ready, dear. Just let it all out now. Go ahead."

I looked at her with wide eyes and said in a voice barely audible, "You mean to say I almost lost Bella?" I asked in disbelief.

Her forehead furrowed and she gave a small sympathetic smile.

"Wait - what you told me is that…I almost lost Bella? As in, I almost _lost _Bella? _Lost _Bella _forever?"_I said_, _my voice getting louder and increasing in pitch. I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Ah, miss? Can we get some water for him please? Thank you," she said to the nearby stewardess. Then she looked at me, "Okay you're starting to have a panic attack – Calm down Edward –"

"Calm_ down?" _I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples as I took in deep breaths and counted.

My mother rubbed my back, "There, there darling. What's important is she's okay now and is waiting for you."

I leant back and pinched the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and thumb then waved away the stewardess when she came back with my water. "No thanks" I said through gritted teeth.

"Edward," Esme said reproachfully then she took the water and thanked the stewardess.

I gave one last deep breath and opened my eyes.

"Are you calm now?"

"Barely," I said through squinted eyes. Then I sighed as I faced Esme. "I know I shouldn't be freaking out mother because there's nothing to worry about because Bella's fine and…alive but it's just hard, you know? Knowing that you almost lost the one you love and you weren't even there… you weren't even there to say… to say… goodbye,"I whispered.

Esme rubbed my arm, "No Edward. You are allowed to freak out. It's expected. And I can imagine how you feel. I worry about that each time Carlisle goes back and forth Seattle and Chicago for work… each day that Emmett fights a case in Seattle… each time that Alice travels… each day you're in New York…" she trailed off.

I smiled sympathetically. I didn't know we were affecting her that much with our being away. "I'm sorry mom. We'll try to come home more often…"

She shook her head, "No dear. Yes, it gets lonely. Yes it gets scary and I'm worried all the time but it's my job. I'm a mother Edward. It's a mother's job to worry constantly. But mothers like me have to understand that we can do everything to raise you and care for you but in the end, we have to learn to let you go and be who you are meant to be… let you go out and explore… now when I look at all of you, and see how you've all grown, I believe I can die happy now knowing all of you are happy. So when all of you go off wherever, I worry but then at least that no matter what happens, you all know I love you and that's enough for me."

I kissed my mother's hand, "And you know we all love you too mom. Thanks."

She smiled at me and kissed my cheek then waved her hands in a "clear the air" gesture. "Now how did we get there?" she laughed. "Anyway, we chose to tell you now because we wouldn't want you to go crazy in front of Bella."

"Does…she know?"

Esme nodded. "Well, they didn't have a choice."

I cocked my head, "What do you mean?"

"Here's what happened…Carlisle told me over the phone."

I listened intently as Esme retold Carlisle's story.

_Carlisle's flashback just before he shocked Bella for the third time._

_Bella, no, you can't die. I can't let you die. Edward is counting on me to keep you alive and well when he comes back and I will not back out of my word especially to my son, I thought. She can't die. I'm a damn good doctor and there is no way I'm allowing someone who has so much to live for die._

_I shocked her twice already and she still has no pulse. This isn't good but I have to try just one more time. So I charged it once more and yelled out, "Let's shock her one more time, and get ready everybody. Clear!"_

_Then after the shock all were silent and shaking their heads as one sound filled the air._

_Beep._

_A pulse. No one said a word as we waited anxiously to see if it wasn't a false alarm. Come on, Bella…_

_Then…_

_Beep. _

_Beep. Beep. Beep…_

_And just like that everyone erupted into cheers as Bella's heart settled into a steady rhythm as registered on the monitor. I couldn't move from relief and I think I felt a few tears slide down into my mask. I felt someone taking the paddles from me – I forgot I was even still holding on to them. _

_Then I felt someone hug me tight and I looked down and saw Rosalie crying on my chest. I rubbed her back and took off my mask and grinned._

"_We almost lost her, she - she was dead for a minute! We almost lost Bella…we…she…" came Rosalie's muffled voice._

"_She's alive now. She's okay." I said soothingly – for both her ears and mine. _

_Dr. Alex Turner grinned up at me and gave a nod, "Congratulations, Dr. Cullen. You brought her back to life."_

"_Couldn't have done it without you – all of you. We all saved her."_

"_I'm sorry if her airway got blocked, and caused her to go into shock and all this drama. I should've been more careful," he said._

_I freed one of my hands and raised it while I rubbed Rosalie's back with the other, "We all know that there was the possibility of a complication. There's no need for finger pointing. What's important is that, she's okay."_

_Dr. Turner sighed and nodded, "True." Then he examined Bella who was stirring. "Oh, I think she's coming to. This is rare. I would've expected her to wake up after a day or two after that experience."_

"_Maybe it's from the shock. She'll go right back to sleep afterwards."_

_Rosalie looked up and released her hold on me. She went immediately to Bella's side and held her hand and wiped her tears with her other hand._

_I came to and watched as Bella stirred then she opened her eyes groggily. She tried to move but I held her down gently. She would still feel numb from the anesthetics but when that's passed, she'll feel pain… extreme throat discomfort and mild pain._

_She looked at us with weak, sluggish, half-opened and questioning brown eyes. Dr. Turner went up to her and checked her vision, her stats and all the SOPs._

_I smiled, still relieved that she's alive. "Hello dear. How are you feeling?"_

_She blinked then she tried to huff in response. _

_I chuckled, "Well at least you'll go back to sleep. Anyway,"_

"_You came out of sleep a little earlier than planned, Bella," Dr. Turner said. "But we have to do a little test first… see if you can talk. Its okay if you can't now and for some patients, talking comes after a few days of therapy but let's see how you can do right now. Can you please say a word? Two if you can? Any word?"_

_She blinked a couple of times._

_I held her hand and gave a squeeze, "Take your time, dear. There's no rush. If you don't want to do it it's okay."_

_She looked at me then withdrew her hand and surprisingly, she started signing…slow…weak but she was signing._

_She signed: _I'm sorry, I can try now but… I wanted… if possible… I would have wanted for him to hear my first words… if that's possible…it's selfish…but…even if I can't do it…just yet…or ever… I want my first try for him…

_And by him, I knew she meant Edward._

_Rosalie and I exchanged looks and smiled. Dr. Turner let us communicate patiently._

"_Bella has made a special request that she tries in the presence of someone in particular," I relayed._

"_Ah. The young gentleman – your son I presume? It's alright. Any time that you want. Though the sooner we know the better," Dr. Turner said._

"_Then why don't we give them a ring?" Rosalie suggested._

_I looked at Dr. Turner._

_He nodded. "Why not? But let's get you to your suite first." Bella nodded. Then she looked at me and signed: What happened to me? I have a feeling something happened to me…can you please tell me?_

_Rosalie looked at me concerned but I sighed and half-smiled at Bella. "Nothing escapes you, right Bella? Well, how to begin?"_

_So while on the way up Bella's hospital suite, I filled her in on what happened. She listened patiently and did not comment. When we were in her suite she asked if the concert was over already._

_We turned on the flat screen TV and searched for the live feed of the concert. They showed the crowd applauding as Edward took his final bow and he left the stage. _

_Bella signed: I missed it!_

_I smiled at her, "Don't worry, it's taped. Now that's over, we can call him."_

"_Wait! They're calling for an encore!" Rosalie quipped._

"_Oh, we just need three minutes. They can wait." I said._

"_Edward's phone is with Alice so I'll just ring Jasper – he just texted that he's backstage with them," Rosalie said. _

_Bella's eyelids were drooping and closing. She was going to sleep any minute now. _

_Then after a few seconds, _

"_Jasper?" Rosalie said._

"_Rose, I'm sorry but we have to hurry. Bella's going any minute now…" I said hurriedly._

_Surprised and flustered "Oh, oh right. Listen Jazz, is Edward there? Great. This is important. Put him on the phone – now," she said while putting her phone on speaker mode._

_Bella was blinking and she made a small yawn then winced. I guess the anesthesia was wearing off._

_Rosalie held the phone to Bella who took it weakly and held it to her. Then we heard it. We heard Edward's voice. "H-hello?" he was nervous. Could he have known?_

_Bella smiled then started, "…H…h…"_

"_Go on," I mouthed as she looked at me._

"_H…hel...lo…Ed…ward…" _

I smiled. I smiled as when Esme ended Carlisle's story, I remembered the last part because the last part was hearing Bella's voice saying hello to me…like she promised.

"You're smiling…" Esme said amused.

I laughed. "Yes, yes I am smiling."

"I'm happy for you Edward. I really am – for both of you."

I grinned. "Thanks mom."

"Oh and Edward?"

I faced her, "Yes mother dear?"

She grinned her bedimpled grin, "Merry Christmas son."

I blinked and glanced at my watch. It was already way past midnight and we were nearing Seattle. I forgot all about Christmas. I couldn't believe it. Even if everywhere we look we would see garlands, mistletoes, trees, presents, stockings and such – I forgot about Christmas.

Then as I smiled at my mother, poising to say 'Merry Christmas' as well, and telling her that Bella's voice was the best gift I ever had – I slapped myself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I forgot to get Bella a gift! Or anyone else in the matter!

I was out of my game – _clearly._

Esme laughed with mirth. "I'm sensing you forgot to do your Christmas shopping?"

I cringed, "Ugh. I feel _terrible. _Just completely horrendous!"

"Well, you know…even though your father was the one who dressed up like Santa when you were younger, doesn't mean I can't come and bear gifts," she said with agenda.

"O-kay."

Then my mother shoved something on my hand - it was a tiny black box. I knew what it is. I looked at my mother completely touched.

"Mother, I can't – it's too precious… give it to Emmett…" I tried to give her the box back.

She pushed it back and shook her head, "No. Emmett has his own. Besides, I gave him a third of the set. He's planning on giving a lush gold choker with a diamond tear drop the size of a bottle cap surrounded by rubies to his Rosalie… and I'm giving the bracelet with the same design to your sister – keep quiet, and I'm giving that ring to you. Use it anyway you want," she winked.

I chuckled, "You're the best mother in the world."

"What? I can't quite hear that?"

I chuckled then hugged my mother and kissed her head. "I love you mom."

"I love you too son, now get some sleep. We still have an hour and half."

I nodded but I couldn't sleep. I was too anxious and excited. But then, the next thing I knew, people were already getting up from their seats. I didn't even feel the jolt when we landed. I must've been that tired.

Emmett and Rosalie picked us up from the airport. Alice, Jasper, and Mr. Hale decided to head to Emmett's then to Rosalie's old apartment that she held on to for this purpose, with them before dropping me and my mother at the hospital. They were going to visit Bella in the morning as it was late and she was sleeping anyway and it was crowded in the hospital already.

When we arrived at the hospital, I kept fidgeting and shifting my feet from anxiety. Esme just laughed at me. Carlisle greeted us at the lobby.

"Merry Christmas son, and of course, Merry Christmas Mrs. Cullen," Carlisle smiled dashingly to my mother before leaning over and giving her a kiss. My mother wrapped her arms around my father, "Merry Christmas to you too Dr. Cullen."

"Merry Christmas to you too dad now where's Bella?" I asked impatiently.

Carlisle grinned but I could sense he was tired, "She's doing great, son. Tired, I'll bet but she's sleeping. Her parents are with her.

I nodded and we rode the elevator to her floor and Carlisle paused at the door. "Esme and I are going to stay at the hospital's special hotel since it's too crowded in Emmett's place. I have arranged for Bella's parents to have a room waiting for them and you could have one too."

I shook my head, "Thanks but I'd rather… stay here with Bella…"

Carlisle and Esme smiled, "I figured as much. Well then, Merry Christmas and see you in the morning. Try to get some rest too son."

I hugged him, "Thanks again dad. I can't thank you enough."

He just chuckled, "Be happy."

I hugged and kissed my mother goodbye, "Bye mother, see you later."

She kissed my cheek back, "Get some rest."

Then they left.

I swallowed the lump on my throat and took a deep breath before I entered Bella's room. When I went inside, the lights were dim.

I peered inside and was greeted by Renee who looked like she wasn't sleeping.

She hugged me and I hugged her back, "Merry Christmas Renee," I whispered.

She smiled, "The Merriest dear! Come in."

I followed her and the first thing I noticed was Charlie snoring on an armchair. Then I saw her. I saw Bella…my Bella…

She was sleeping like an angel… looking so peaceful…amidst the IV, the bandages and the monitor wire… she was still my perfect beautiful Bella. I ran to her side and clutched her hand. I reached out and caressed her cheek and marveled at the soft silky feel of her skin once more. I was speechless. I was too overwhelmed with emotions – I'm just so happy that I'm here…she's here…we're together again. I really can't bear to be apart from her… ever again… Oh Bella…my Bella…

I knew I was on the brink of tears and I opened my mouth to say something when –

Snort.

"Oh dear, well, I guess I'm going to have to kick Charlie out and tell him to go to the room your father has kindly arranged for us. Bless him – bless all of you for doing this for our only daughter," Renee sighed.

I smiled and laughed, "Well, we love her very much."

She nodded, "Can't argue with that."

"So how is she?" I asked.

"She's stable. Now let me just drag Charlie and we'll give you guys a minute."

"Why don't you two go? I'll watch over her," I offered.

"But you just flew in, you need rest too Edward," Renee said concerned.

"I can't imagine where I would rather be than here," I admitted.

She giggled, "Okay."

Then I felt guilty, "Please don't think I'm trying to kick you out… I just want to be with her…"

She shook her head, "Oh, there's no need to explain. We understand." She grinned. "Now, to wake up poor ol' Charlie…" I watched as she rubbed his arm to rouse him and he woke up with a start.

"W-what?" he blinked.

Renee rolled her eyes, "Come on Charles. Let's put you to bed. Edward has this covered."

"Edward?" he jerked back then he found me and blinked.

I smiled, "Hello Charlie. Good to see you again and Merry Christmas!"

He smiled a little but still looked groggy, "Same to you. Sure, you're okay here?"

"I'm sure."

He nodded then he stood up, stroke Bella's hair and kissed her head. "Sleep tight baby. I'll see you in the morning. Merry Christmas…" Then he walked out.

Renee squeezed Bella's hand and kissed her cheek. "Love you Bella." then she smiled at me before she followed Charlie.

And then, there were two.

Bella and I were finally alone.

I smiled.

I gave her a peck on the lips and took a seat near her bed. I rested my head on my elbows on her bed and held her hand then I reached out to stroke her hair.

"Hello love.

"I know that they gave you something so you could sleep peacefully and longer and you probably can't hear me but I'll go ahead and talk anyway. I missed you Bella. I missed you so much love. It's rare that I get you alone now it seems. So I'm making the most of it before I let you take center stage tomorrow morning when everyone comes to see you."

"Well, the concert was a success and everyone was awed by your piece. I told you so. Though I'm not sure if I did it justice but people seemed please – anyway, I'll let you be the judge. Oh and I know that you heard me play my piece but I'm guessing you weren't able to finish it as you fell asleep. Good. Then my lullaby works," I half-smiled. "I'll have to play it again for you the next time we have the chance."

I propped my head with my elbow and smiled at her, "I've only been away from you for just a day and yet it seemed like forever. Please don't let me stay away from you like this anymore. I can't bear it… I can't bear to be apart from you…not for one hour, not for one minute – not for one second… with you is where I should be… with you is where I want to be…"

I leaned closer and hugged her gently, my head just below her shoulder. I closed my eyes and whispered, "They said I almost lost you love… they said you almost left me… my reaction was of pure mortification. I can't… I just can't picture a world where you don't exist… I need you in my life Bella… you are all I live for…"

I kissed her head and brushed a few strands of her hair. I chuckled, "You know, that was some stunt you pulled. When I took the phone from Jasper, I was _nervous. _I thought, forgive me if I'm paranoid, but I thought, oh my God, the worst has happened! But then, I heard the most precious sound in the world. I heard you. You said hello. You said my name."

I laughed, "And I didn't know how to react to that. My world just stopped. I thought I was dreaming. You know what? I actually had flashbacks flung at me at breakneck speed! My mind was spinning with thoughts of you and how everything I ever wished for – what we wished for was coming true. We've been through a lot and we still have loads to go through but no matter what, I want to be in every part of your life as you are in mine now.

"What's funny is that, you'll probably want me to tell you everything that went on, updates on what I did or just talk and even if you don't, I know that when you wake up, I'll probably tell you everything again including all that I've said right now. And I don't care. I don't care if I repeat everything I said right now. I don't care if I have to retell you everything twice, thrice, ten times if you like.

"All I'm saying is that, I'll never get tired of telling you how much you mean to me, how much I care about you – how much I love you…and another thing. When you wake up, Isabella Marie Swan? I _will _ask you to marry me _again. _This time – with a genuine ring." I chuckled.

I moved my face closer to Bella's and rested my forehead on hers lightly before kissing her nose gently then giving a feather light kiss on her lips.

"I love you Bella, and I'm here. I'm here for you. I'm here for you and for me, because where you are is where I need to be. Now sleep well, sleep well my love and when you wake up, I'm here."

After my ramblings, I just watched her sleep while humming her lullaby. I yawned and blinked. I rested my head on Bella's bed just below her chin and I closed my eyes to rest them a bit. From the tumultuous day of euphoria and trauma, I finally felt at peace.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Edward? Was that you I heard a bit? Edward? Or am I still dreaming?_

My eyebrows puckered when I felt a touch on my arm and the rhythmic sound of beeping woke me up. I couldn't move. My body felt like lead and my eyelids felt like they had sacks of sand on them. My throat felt sore and scratchy and my neck was throbbing in pain. I struggled to open my eyes even a little bit. As I managed to open an eye, I saw that the lights were dim. I blinked. How long was I out? I glanced to my left and I cringed the tiniest bit and I knew I couldn't move my neck yet just like that. I felt heat…and weight… I inhaled a bit… and my eyes shot open when I recognized the scent – I glanced to my right and saw my Greek God, in all his chisel-faced glory. So it was real. I couldn't remember what he said but I knew he was talking to me. I thought I was dreaming but clearly now I wasn't.

I watched my Adonis who was sleeping. His bronze hair was messier than ever but I liked it. His lips were slightly parted and I watched as his chest rose evenly. He was tired. I glanced at his watch and saw the glowing hands indicating it was 3:23…it must be early morning. He must've flown in not that long from New York. I frowned. And there he was sleeping half of his body on my bed and half on a chair. If only I could move and make him stay beside me but I can't. My neck hurts too much. So I settled instead in sharing my blanket with him and squeezing his hand.

He's here. _With me._ I missed him so much when he was away. I couldn't stand it but I didn't want him to miss his opportunity. I hope we would never be separated ever again. I don't think I could stand it.

They said I died for a minute. I couldn't remember a thing. But if I could remember I was sure I fought. I fought to stay alive. I fought to see him again. I fought because I promised. And I fought because I knew that there were still too much I wanted to say to him – really say to him. I want to ask him questions, to know more about him – everything about him… but most of all… I wanted to just tell him I love him – with my own voice.

Tears threatened to pour once more but it hurt my throat to cry so I bit my lip. Anyway, I let the tears fall when I tried to speak when I woke up I guess hours ago…and I did speak… I can speak. I can speak!

I smiled at Edward and closed my eyes.

I can finally tell you really tell you I love you Edward.

I must've been moving too much because Edward suddenly stirred. Then his eyes peeked at me so I smiled. Then they closed again then in a flash they opened and his startling green eyes met mine.

I smiled wider even in my gargoyle state and watched as he propped himself up to see me better.

"Hello love," he whispered then he grinned that dazzling crooked smile of his again and I was smitten but this time I didn't rely on my silence to answer him.

This time I had a voice.

So I reached to touch his face and grinned at him then slowly opened my mouth to whisper two words I promised him I would say the next time we would meet. After this long time of waiting and compromise and complications and other intricacies, I was finally free from my shackle. And more than that, I am happy. I am where I am supposed to be. I am where I want to be. I am where I need to be. I am with Edward whom I love more than anything in the world. And now I can say all these things to him anytime I want – well after sufficient therapy and all. But now I had a voice. I can speak. I can tell him everything – every little thing – every damn thing…

Seeing his smiling beautiful face, I let out a deep breath and grinned at him then finally said two words that from the beginning, from the time we first met I had failed to say and say back even when he said his name. We can finally start again and venture into a new chapter in our lives just with this two words.

"H-hello Edward."

**THE END**

**

* * *

AN: You can skip this long message but I wanted to ask for your opinions for some matters like epilogues and stuff. =)**

**So that was the ending and I don't think I'm going to put up a sequel as everyone's happy and all that. It's shorter than the last but there's nothing more to add. (Oh and the last chapter was not the longest. It's still chapter 13 by two hundred words ha-ha. Just a trivia.) I feel that everything that needs to be said in this story has been said already (How ironic Ha-ha, sorry, I just had to add that). You can all see what's going to happen next. Rosalie and Emmett get married, Edward and Bella make beautiful music together and of course Bella can finally say "yes" to Edward's proposal and Alice and Jasper will eventually go down that route as well – after they travel the world that is. But I will consider putting up an ****epilogue.**** I'm not sure. What do you think?**

**I'm thinking of adding a ****chapter each for the side-pairs ****- A long chapter for Emmett and Rosalie and of course Alice and Jasper. It would sort of be like outtakes or an epilogue or a combination. Would you like that? =)**

**Oh and yes, that's right. I ended with Bella's point of view. I thought it was only appropriate that she had the last say. =) **

**Oh and about Bella's POV for some parts? Hmm… I don't know. Maybe. Maybe I can have outtakes on some events in her POV. **

**This was the longest and hardest Twilight story I have ever written. It's the first All Human story I did of them and this was the only Twilight story I did research in. So I'm pretty happy with myself right now. **

**Now on to the thanks and shout outs…**

**Thank you ****Lady-von-strife****, my sister, who has supported this story from the start to whom I dedicate all the Emmett-Rosalie side-pairing snips of this story. Thanks sis! Love yah!**

**Thank you Wikipedia, e-medicine, Yahoo! and Google! I almost panicked when I was searching for a procedure to do for Bella but these sites and engines are lifesavers! **

**Thank you to Cat Power's rendition of the song "Sea of Love" that they sang for Juno. This is the song that started it all. Find the original on YouTube. **

**Thanks to "The Cure" for their song "The Loudest Sound" which spurred the idea for the body of the story.**

**And of course, thank you to all my readers! Without your rave reviews, your suggestions, your criticisms, your sharing, your support and of course, your lovely threats, this story would find it's way to the scrap bin, ignored, rotting and forgotten.**

**I wanted to put up all your names here but I'm still surprised that so many of you actually read this story of mine – so many that I can't keep up! I still can't believe it! I do want to thank all those who've reviewed from the start and of course my thanks extend to those who just started. Thank you all so much! But I did reply to all reviews (all signed reviews) before putting this up. For the unsigned ones, thanks as well! =)  
**

**That's all. Love you guys and thanks again for your support and encouragement! Until next time then…**

**Much love,**

**Margaux**

**P.S. If you have time, do check out my other stories. I'm particularly excited about my Edward-Bella AU story called **_**Parachutes. **_**I'm practicing imagery there so expect beautiful colorful descriptions and "paintings." It's about Bella being an angel of death but before she was someone's guardian angel for seventeen years – until that someone became immortal 108 years ago. Inspired by Coldplay songs wherein each chapter is an interwoven with a song of theirs. It's my current project and I'll be posting Chapter 10 tomorrow. =) That's all! Much much love…**


	21. Love

Hello everyone!

My story "Just Say" was nomitated by an angel somewhere out there at the The Indies Twific Awards for Best Use of Music as Inspiration Complete. Please do vote for me if you love this story. Thanks!!! And super love to whoever nominated me. I super appreciate it. :)

www(dot)theindietwificawards(dot)com

Much Love,

Margaux


	22. HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE

**Dear Readers,**

**First of all, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies for not being able to update my stories. Being a college senior is hard and we had numerous consecutive sleepless nights doing our research work. Our proposed study would be the effect of humor therapy on young adult cancer patients. It's really eaten up most of our time and add to this would be my on-the-job training in a guidance and counseling department (100 hours). And now, here in the Philippines, we are facing a crisis recently, which is the onslaught of the typhoon Ketsana (local name Ondoy). We were among the fortunate yet affected ones. And now we're busy with helping our friends, classmates, schoolmates, family, and other people. Our school is busy organizing relief centers and donation drives. Being one of the student leaders, I'm doing my part by spreading the word getting contacts outside (I wasn't allowed to go out so sending donations and information dissemination is all I could do for now. As soon as I get the go signal, I'll try to run over our university and help.)**

**If you want to help, I've posted links and contact number you can go use on my twitter account. Follow me at margz29 (twitter account link is also on my homepage). Help no matter how small is greatly appreciated. Just by spreading the news, you're already contributing a lot.**

**Hope to hear from you guys soon… and I'll try to update as soon as I can.**

**Much love,**

**Margaux**


	23. Plagriasm

Dear readers,

The main reason why I'm not updating my stories is because of my undergraduate research work that, you've guessed it, takes half a year to do. Our oral defense is on the 18th and my team and I are rigorously preparing for that. Another are my applications to Med schools. I still have an interview and a test to take. Plus, I also have a publication to take care of where I'm still part of the editorial board (executive). So the plate's full. Bearwith me, After the defense I will continue my story.

Though I also have one good reason why not. Why? On January 25th, ysar sent me a message here in ff telling me that I was a victim of plagiarism. Someone reuploaded the entirety of "Just Say" and took credit for it. She even changed the title to "Jasper and Bella." Rest assured, because of ysar's help, the matter has been reported and dealt with. The story was taken down just this week by the administrator of the site. The story by the way, was uploaded on watpad. An ebook community. So I don't know how many "Jasper and Bella" ebook had been downloaded completely violating my intellectual property. I wouldn't have minded if I was credited or the alleged "author" informed me. The violator has been there since August so my story was probably there since last year and it was only now that I found out thanks to ysar. If it wasn't for ysar, then...

It's just really disheartening. I'm not her only victim. She took credit for almost a dozen stories. I just wanted you all to know. I'm still shaken by what happened. It's not flattering. It's wrong. We'll see after my defense if I can recover a bit. That violator ruined ff for me. I'm sorry.

Anyways, I'll really try if you guys are still with me. For those who are waiting for the continuation of Parachutes, the epilogue of Silence, the Loudest Sound, and the next chapter on iWish, if you really want to, I'll continue but not right now. Give me time. Thank you.

Margaux


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